Let’s hear it for the DEE-FENSE. UUN #5-23
Dear Over-Joyed Fans —
Wow! The Johnnies came through and washed that nasty taste of Whitewater out of our collective mouths. After that unfortunate performance in the second half down in Wisconsin, head coach Gary Fasching ’81 stated adamantly and angrily, “That wasn’t Johnnie football.”
And this past Saturday, with its 27-7 victory over nationally-ranked arch-rival #19 Bethel in front of 11,321 fans—we’re pleased to say—our lads definitely demonstrated more of our proverbial “Johnnie football,” particularly on defense. While the Offense, with at times inaccurate quarterback tosses and butter-fingered catching attempts in a sub-par first quarter and at times first half, ultimately came though with a convincing number of points, it was our Defense that really rose to the occasion, assisted somewhat by the Royal rookie quarterback’s sometimes shaky performance and an injury that kept their top running back out of the contest. On Saturday, Bethel finished with just 89 yards rushing and 233 yards total offense.
“The difference was just the mental preparation and the realization that you have to play defense with all-out effort every play,” Gary said. “I didn’t think we did that against Whitewater. But we did today.”
We were so dominant against this good, but not great team that if it hadn’t been for a horrible pass interference call that allowed an easy score, our Defense would have likely turned in a coveted shut-out. How bad was that call? See for yourself here: https://youtu.be/6tPFlY2bdDg?si=r63sEESPpjwyRY9B
Bethel WR #2 Joey Kidder mauls SJU defender #24 Cayden Saxon, with the latter getting an interference penalty. Go figure!
Speaking of bad calls, another egregious referee error was a “targeting” penalty in the second half on outstanding senior linebacker #49 Erik Bjork who was ejected from the game and restricted from playing until the second half against Augsburg…unless that call is overturned at the NCAA level. Fortunately it didn’t have a bearing on the game: https://youtu.be/BEXx3A9AVEQ?si=fcB-_OSBzZJpS91w
By the way, both of these video snippets were sent to the UUN by Vic Murphy ’92, so thanks to him on the behalf of all of you. Oh, and he also sent this KSTP-TV coverage with highlights for us:
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Game Summary:
Andy Rennecke, (with photos by Jason Wachter) with St. Cloud Live, gives us his excellent game report:
https://www.stcloudlive.com/sports/college/st-johns-defense-rebounds-in-27-7-win-over-bethel-royals
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SJU’s Game Recap, Video and Box Score:
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Sophomore wide receiver #2 Dylan Wheeler scores after wrestling away a disputed catch from Bethel defender #22 Gavin Rataj for St. John’s first touchdown. (Photo by Reid Glenn, St.Cloud Times)
St. John's tight end #8 Alex Larson pulls in a touchdown pass over Bethel defensive back #9 Devin Williams in the second half. (Photo by Jason Wachter, St. Cloud Live)
Senior safety #18 Ethan Stark and Company celebrate after the Johnnies recovered a fumble in our 27-7 win over Bethel (photo by Graham Miller).
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At the Bethel U. Graduation —
Last spring some of the football team turned out for a popular teammate’s college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the diplomas, he requested, "Will all the 'Cum Laudes' please stand up?"
One Royal leaned over and whispered to his friend, "Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"
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The Uncasual Fan —
Defense Steps Up
September 16, Bethel vs SJU at Collegeville
Basic Summary:
- The parking lots were full and there were cars parked almost out to the freeway.
- Tailgating was in full force
- The Defense steps up to the challenge
- Bethel has a freshman QB and it is so hard to win big, tough games with a freshman QB
- The offense was out of sync the first half but we played good enough to win.
Here is kind of what we know four weeks into the season:
- Trinity and Wisconsin Whitewater are Top 5 or in the first Tier of top teams in the nation.
- Both of those teams have All American QBs
- We are kind of in the second tier (6-15)
- Although we have had pretty good passing and TD stats we have not been very consistent. We have however been very opportunistic
- Bethel (1-2) might be in the 3rd tier (16-25)
- Augsburg (2-1) and Gustavus (1-2) have received few, if any votes in either polls, but the Auggies might be in Tier 4 (25-40). The Auggies beat the Gusties this past week on a Hail Mary on the last play of the game.
So - we won a big rivalry game and beat/shut down our biggest rival in the MIAC. I guess the MIAC title is ours and we just need to get ready for the MIAC Divisional playoff game.
In the words of Coach Lee Corso and the College Game Day Crew, “Not so fast.”
I am usually a “cup is half-full kind of guy,” but after watching the futile collective efforts of “Row the Boat” and the Vi-Queens I am feeling a little leery.
Are we looking at a potential “Trap Game.” What do I mean by trap game? Basically we get trapped into believing this is an automatic win because:
1. We just beat the other “big dog” and there is an opportunity for an emotional letdown.
2. We beat the Auggies 45-0 last year at Augsburg (dominating both offensively and defensively) and have no reason to believe it will not be the same again this year.
3. Our offense has been sporadic and a little out-of-sync.
4. The Auggies are playing a lot better this year and their short passing game seems to be effective.
5. They are coming off a nice win against the Gusties.
6. This could be the opportunity they are waiting for to make a statement.
I do not believe the coaching staff will let that happen and they will coach them up just like they got the defense going last week and make sure we do not let down this week.
A StarTribune sports writer said that both Gustavus and Augsburg are ready to make a big step this year and move up to challenge Bethel and our Johnnies. I do not think so, but I guess we will know a little more after our game this weekend. Might be interesting to also follow the Bethel/Gusties score on Saturday.
It’s supposed to be in the low 80ºs in the Twin Cities on Saturday. See you at the game. Go Johnnies !!!! — The Uncasual Fan
(Editor’s Additional Comment: The StarTribune sports writer referred to above is Patrick Reusse. He seems to be the only sports writer in the Metro area who appreciates and covers the MIAC and other small colleges with any regularity. Here is the link to the article referred to by the Uncasual Fan: https://currently.att.yahoo.com/sports/reusse-augsburg-gustavus-show-could-233000600.html …and while we’re at it, here’s another puff piece for the Auggies by Mr. Reusse: https://www.aol.com/nsic-showdown-four-other-things-200700360.html I hope he covers our game with Augsburg so we can show him what’s really real in the MIAC.)
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Johnnie Community Case Study —
By Bill Kauffmann ’88, Plymouth, MN —
Friday morning, the day before the Bethel game, I met some longtime friends for breakfast at Peg’s Countryside Cafe in Hamel. I had my Johnnie gear on as usual and was eagerly anticipating Saturday’s game. My buddies know I’m a Johnnie football geek and that I go to the games and tailgate but they have not yet joined me. They asked me to tell them about my preparations for Saturday for the tailgate and the game day experience.
In the middle of my fervid explanation, three people walk in and sit next to us. One of them has a Johnnie football sweatshirt on so I look at him and say, “Go Johnnies.” I introduce myself from the class of '87 and he tells me his name is Jim Buck and that his son plays for the team. I have enjoyed watching Jimmy Buck his whole career and he has given us many thrills. We go on an extended discussion about Jimmy and the team. He introduces me to his two sisters (in-law?). One is from Virginia, the other from Iowa and they were in town for the game. They were brimming with pride about Jimmy.
I introduced my buddies who were smiling from ear to ear observing this exchange. Our two tables intermittently shared conversation throughout the breakfast. At one point I told my buddies that no explanation of the Johnnie game day experience would be as descriptive as the instant community we experienced in those brief moments of connection with the Bucks. I told them it was like that 100 times over on Johnnie game day.
As many of your readers probably know, Jimmy Buck is a member of the Allstate AFCA Good Works Team. What I didn’t know is that we can all vote once a day for Jimmy to be the captain of that team. Jim, Sr. shared the link with me and I asked if he would be willing to send me an email about Jimmy’s recovery that I could forward to you. Below is his response and a photo of us after breakfast. Can you encourage your readers to vote daily for Jimmy! The link is in Jim’s email below. We are talented and deep at receiver and it will be great to get Jimmy back contributing!
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Hi Bill,
Great to meet you guys on Friday. Thanks for sending the link. I’m bummed that I didn’t know about this fun read until now. Jimmy is getting PT daily and is expected to get his brace off in the next couple weeks. From there, he continues intense PT with the hopes of getting back on the field before the end of the regular season.
I know that Jimmy would be super appreciative of SJU alumni votes for his becoming the 2023 Allstate Good Works Captain. As President of St. Jude on campus effort, he has smashed fundraising records at St. Johns (about $150,000 in just the last 24 months) while leading his FB team brothers on and off the field and making his way through a rigorous pre-med academic program. You can vote every day for team captain; it isn't just a one-time thing. Save in your favorites - it takes 5 seconds to do (no signing up or anything involved). https://promo.espn.com/espn/contests/allstate/2023/index
Great second Top 20 win on Saturday. Augsburg this weekend is no joke. 3-0 and a damn good QB. Should be another solid challenge. — Jim
(Editor’s Note: My friend Billy K. attained All-American status as a Defensive Back in 1987. And he’s been bleeding “Red” ever since.)
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Augsburg wins a 'prove-it' game
The Auggies had led for most of the game before Gustavus Adolphus came back to score with 22 seconds left. Augsburg didn't need 22 seconds to get the lead back. Read article here:
https://www.d3football.com/columns/features/2023/augsburg-win-prove-it-game
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Augsburg Confession —
An Auggie offensive lineman admitted to one of his coaches, “I’ve failed math so many times, I can’t even count.”
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NOTE WELL: VERY IMPORTANT NEWS ABOUT THE AUGSBURG GAME —
Read this linked information below carefully, but here are some highlights:
- A busy day on 9/30 with four home athletic events
- No cash ticketing or concessions — order tickets online now
- Parking will be a bear — get there early
- No on-field visiting after the game; a soccer game starts as quickly as they can turn the field around
https://athletics.augsburg.edu/news/2023/9/26/gen092623.aspx
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A Quick Look At Augsburg University —
Augsburg was the first seminary founded by Norwegian Lutherans in America in September 1869, in Marshall, Wisconsin, and moved to Minneapolis in 1872. The first seminarians were enrolled in 1874, and the first graduation was in 1879. In 1874 they proposed a three-part plan: first, train ministerial candidates; second, prepare future theological students; and third, educate the farmer, worker, and businessman.
The statement stressed that a good education is also practical. Augsburg’s early presidents also emphatically rejected ivory tower concepts of education. This commitment to church and community has been Augsburg’s theme for over 130 years.
An Augsburg education should be preparation for service in community and church;
Education should have a solid liberal arts core with a practical dimension in order to send out productive, creative, and successful citizens;
The city—with all its excitement, challenges, and diversity—is an unequaled learning laboratory for Augsburg students.
Augsburg’s compact, land-locked campus, with it’s tiny stadium seating 1,400, is tucked in between I-94 and the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood located in the shadow of downtown Minneapolis.
Augsburg is affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA). Although 6% of students are Lutheran, 5% represent the Catholic Church, 20% represent other Christian denominations, 10% are Muslim, 6% represent other religions, 13% indicated no religious affiliation, and 40% did not provide an answer (which, in my estimation, is a problem in American society).
Augsburg has about undergraduate 3,100 day students: 66% black, indigenous, and people of color; 54% first generation college students; 55.4% female, 44.4% male. The school fills an important need in inner-city higher education and I’m pleased about the opportunity and flexibility they offer their student niche.
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About Augsburg Football —
From early 1960s through the early 2000s the Auggies owned wrestling in the MIAC, winning 31 conference championships. They also have enjoyed ten or more years each of winning years, but not lately, in hockey, baseball and basketball. But, with the exception of a couple years in the late ‘90s, they’ve been nothing much in football.
But it seems that times and football fortunes may be changing. Led by former all-star quarterback and now current coach Derrin Lamker ’97, the Auggies are showing signs of becoming a presence in the MIAC.
Lamker himself was a two-time All-Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference honoree as a three-year starting quarterback for the Auggie football team. He led the Auggies to the 1997 MIAC championship and a second-round NCAA Division III national tournament appearance -- just the second conference title and first NCAA tournament appearance in Augsburg football history. He was named MIAC Most Valuable Player in 1997, in addition to being a finalist for the Gagliardi Trophy, given to the top student-athlete in NCAA Division III football. He was also named to the Football Gazette All-West Region team. Before returning to his alma mater, Lamker was very successful at a football coach at Robbinsdale, Osseo and Edina high schools. Starting his fourth year, Lamker brings his personal history of winning to jumpstart a new Auggie culture.
He has built, or is still building, a program that is a vast improvement over previous years’ squads. For one thing, he has attracted 120 players for his team, one that a few years ago could barely muster 65 or 70 players. That gives his team much more depth and newer layers of talent. His team is heavily Minnesotan with an accent on kids from all around the Greater Metro area and 70% BIPOC, with black students making up about 60% alone.
In Augsburg’s first three games, they’ve shown some exciting scoring ability and mostly lopsided wins, albeit over some lesser competition: Northwestern 52-10; Martin Luther 62-0; and last week, a exciting last-second victory over another newly emerging MIAC power, Gustavus, 33-31. They are excited for this season and biting at the bit to take on the Johnnies on their own little field, just to show us how they’re ready for the next plateau.
The Auggies are pretty beefy on the O-line, at least as much as Bethel; they have five linemen over 300 pounds, including a first year kid who is 6’8”, 315 lbs. The key to their offense is senior quarterback # 8 Cade Sheehan, who at 5’9”, 180, is nevertheless a fine, and dangerous field general, fast, with a potent arm and good game sense. Last year he was 2nd team All-MIAC. His favorite targets are junior WR #11 Dominic Smith; sophomore WR #81 Tyrone Wilson; and senior TE #82 Michael Ims (6’5”, 240). Also in the mix for both running and catching the ball are RBs seniors #0 D.J. Monroe and #3 Tre Lee. Not to be forgotten is the Auggies' fine kicker, sophomore #91 Nathan Wangensteen, who currently leads the MIAC kickers in total points.
On defense, also like the Royals, the D-line isn’t as big, but steady and backed up by a serious D-backfield, led by junior linebacker #4 Hamsa Kahin, who was recently named to both the MIAC Defensive Team of the Week and the D3football.com National Team of the Week. I’m excited to watch him for he had a great game against the Gusties: eight tackles, seven solo; three sacks; two fumble recoveries; and one pass break-up. He’s joined at the linebacker spot by an experienced senior #52 Justin Tverberg, whose name we’ll also hear a lot. Finally, there are two experienced D-backs, senior #9 Tramone Nevel, and junior #26 Tray Bogard-Merrick.
Bottom line? Geez…I don’t know. Last Friday, the day before Bethel, I enjoyed lunch with members of the Pete Gareri '62 Memorial Fan Club at the iconic Lindey’s restaurant, in the shadow of Bethel’s Arden Hills campus. Our group was discussing our fortunes against Bethel and I felt it would be a close game, given the Royals competitive 16-2 contest with powerful Wartburg as an example of their defensive strength, with us winning by a hoped-for ten points. John Ditzler ’58/’62 suggested that the Johnnies really could and should win by a much greater score differential, four or five TDs for example. As it turned out, John was closer to reality than I. If the Jays hadn’t looked so pathetic early on and muffed so many scoring chances, we could and should have blown them out, although 27-7 was a pretty good statement.
So, weighing what we know about Augsburg’s prowess now, and throwing in their powerful emotional desire to thump our red-clad butts, against their too-close win over a second level MIAC team (Gustavus), I’d now come down on the Ditzler side of the equation…IF we take them seriously and go down to Edor Nelson Field with burning desire ourselves and a commitment to stay in the game the whole time, every play as we did against the Royals, then I think we’ll just be too much for them and ultimately pull away with a lop-sided win. But Aaron Syverson, his blockers, running backs and especially receivers need to up their game right off the bat. And the rest of the team must not come in flat.
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The Auggie Ditch-Diggers —
Augsburg University sophomore football teammates Robert and LeMar were digging a ditch during summer employment when Robert made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off LeMar’s ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said LeMar. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Robert triumphantly shouted, "Here it is,” handing the ear to LeMar.
"That's not it," said LeMar, throwing the ear back in the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
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Dealing With A Tommie Lawyer —
A St. Thomas alum who was a noted Twin Cities divorce lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The Tommie thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, “Wait! Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the Tom a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,
"Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”
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MIAC Standings —
Northwoods Division
Carleton 3-0
Saint John’s 2-1
Saint Olaf 2-1
Gustavus 1-2
St. Scholastica 1-2
Skyline Division
Augsburg 3-0
Concordia 2-1
Hamline 2-1
Macalester 2-1
Bethel 1-2
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Football Schedule —
(All game 1 p.m., except Trinity)
Sep. 2 Trinity (TX) Collegeville W 34-31
Sep. 9 UW-Whitewater Whitewater, WI L 56-28
Sep. 16 Bye — —
Sep. 23 Bethel Collegeville W 27-7
Sep. 30 Augsburg Minneapolis
Oct. 7 Concordia Collegeville
Oct. 14 Carleton Collegeville
Oct. 21 Gustavus St. Peter
Oct. 28 St. Scholastica Collegeville
Nov. 4 St. Olaf Northfield
Nov. 11 MIAC Champ TBD
https://gojohnnies.com/sports/football/schedule
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, Mike Carr ’77, and Charlie Carr ’03 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 26th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet (660wbhr.com).
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Listening via the Internet: https://www.660wbhr.com/wbhr-st-johns-sports
Viewing via live streaming: https://miacsportsnetwork.com/?B=597433
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Around The MIAC —
Week 4 Results — September 23
Hamline at Carleton — (This will be a much closer game than I once thought, but the Knights should prevail.) Carleton 31 - Hamline 27…Darn it…I was pulling for the Pipers, and they did put up a gutsy fight against the Knights.
Augsburg at Gustavus — (The Auggies are on a roll and it’s just another trounce…unless they’re looking past the Gusties for their big game against the Johnnies on 9/30.) The Auggies won 33-31 so hardly a trounce…in fact it took a TD in the final second to pull this one out. I guess Lutherans can throw “Hail Marys” too: https://twitter.com/augsburgauggies/status/1705692783644741745?s=46&t=g-or2FfQwhfEf-aUIDwBoA
Macalester at St. Olaf — (Hard to bet against the Oles on their home turf…but it shouldn’t be a run-away.) St. O won big 38 over Mac’s 13; so is St. Olaf better than we thought or is Mac less? Watch this: https://twitter.com/stolafathletics/status/1705984250590253062?s=46&t=g-or2FfQwhfEf-aUIDwBoA
Concordia at St. Scholastica — (This should be a run-away for the up and down Cobbers.) Yep, the Cobbers ran way over the Saints 49-16.
Bethel at St. John’s — (The Jays have to get their gridiron dobbers up after the Whitewater fiasco to meet a really tough challenge when it actually counts. Let’s say they can do it by a hoped-for ten points.) Dobbers up, Baby! At least on the defensive side of the ball — 27-7. Attendance: 11,321.
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Other Game of Interest —
Morehead State at St. Thomas — (It won’t be easy for Glenn’s Tom-boys this Saturday, but the Tommies should eke out a home win.) And eke out the questionable Toms did against Morehead State 35-28. Oh, and those Division I fat heads drew 4,466.
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A wonderful flashback: Those of us present then will remember the chant “Wide Left” for the duration of our time here:
Johnnies Got Big Win Over Archrival 10 Years Ago
by Frank Rajkowski —
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Upcoming Games, Week 5 — September 30
St. Scholastica at Macalester College — (As much as I’m pulling for the Saints, I gotta pick Mac.)
St. Olaf at Hamline — (The Pipers showed some moxie against Carleton but I don’t think they have enough, even at home, to top the Oles.)
Carleton at Concordia — (This should be a good game with the Cobbers hanging on for a home field win.)
Gustavus at Bethel — (A gut-check game for the now 1-2 Royals; they should pound their frustrations out on the Gusties.)
St. John’s at Augsburg — (The Auggies are improved and out to get the Johnnies, but I don’t think it will be enough if the Jays bring their “A” game.)
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Other Games of Interest —
St. Thomas at Univ of Dayton in Ohio. — (After Little Napoleon [er, mean, Coach Caruso] haranguing on them all week after their poor showing against Morehead State, the Tommies should show more life against this so-so Pioneer League foe.)
#1 North Central at #10 Wheaton — (I expect North Central to win, but at least they will face some completion for the first time this year.)
#3 Wartburg at Coe (who has received a few points) — (The Warthogs by a lot, but at least better competition than usual.)
#4 UW-Whitewater at #20 UW-Oshkosh — (Unfortunately there will be no upsets here, but go UW-O anyway.)
#5 Trinity at Berry (who received 45 votes) — (So we’ll see how strong Trinity looks winning here.)
UW-Platteville (who received 14 votes) at #6 UW-River Falls — (Just a warm-up game for UW-RF.)
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2023 D3football.com Week 4 Top 25 —
This week’s review of the Top 25 shows the First Four remaining steady in their auspicious places but—my-oh-my—whatever happened to former #5 Hardin-Simmons to cause them to drop to #18 currently? They lost to Endicott, a small Texas college, 37-10. (Can we liken this to the Johnnies being upset by Hamline?) At any rate, Endicott edged up into the Top 25 at #21, so good for them, whoever they are.
#5 Trinity, #6 UW-River Falls, #7 St. John’s and #8 Linfield each rose a point from last week. The only other movement of import to us is that poor former #19 Bethel dropped out of the Top 25 altogether. I predict they will be back since—unless Augsburg tops them—they shouldn’t lose again until they face SJU at season’s end for the MIAC championship.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2023/week4
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From Our Readers —
From Dan McDermott ’84, Plymouth, MN —
Bob, It was interesting to see the photo of Nick VanErp crossing the goal line at the end of his 74-yard touchdown catch/run; notice that his wristband said, "Amos 5:5." I looked up that chapter and verse:
"Do not seek Bethel, do not go to Gilgal, do not journey to Beersheba. For Gilgal will surely go into exile, and Bethel will be reduced to nothing.”
And for some Big Ten entertainment (other than the Gophers) here's the Hawkeye's offensive coordinator, Brian Ferentz (son of head coach Kirk Ferentz), after the Hawkeyes were shut out, had only four first downs, four turnovers, and 76 yards of total offense. He basically says, "Well, our defense didn't score either and they were on the field for way more plays!” — Dan
(Editor’s Note: We heard at the Lunch Bunch meeting a month ago that Brother Paul Richards, OSB is responsible for discovering and promulgating that obscure (but usually accurate re Bethel) Book of Amos Scriptural reference a few years ago. I asked Dan how big was his magnifying glass to be able to read it on Nick’s hand? Incidentally, directly behind Nick VanErp are Ann ’84 and Jon McGee ’84; Jon is Head of St. John’s Prep School and sent us some info, seen below, on SJP for this school year:)
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From Jon McGee, St. John’s Prep School —
Our 167th school year is underway! Saint John's Prep students hail from 14 different nations, four states, and 29 different communities in Minnesota. This fall we welcomed 296 students to campus for the start of the school year, including 72 resident students.
Three-quarters of all 11th graders, and more than 90% of all seniors are enrolled in at least one AP course this semester, with most enrolled in at least two. In addition, 20 Prep students, representing nearly 20% of all juniors and seniors, are enrolled in classes at Saint John’s University and the College of Saint Benedict.
Our middle school is home to 87 students in grades 6, 7, and 8. There are two homerooms for 6th grade and four homerooms for our combined 7th and 8th grade curriculum.
We are once again celebrating being named "The Best Catholic School in Minnesota" by niche.com. Prep is consistently ranked among the top secondary schools in Minnesota. Our current rankings also place us among the best schools in the state and the country.
We are among the top 30 Catholic schools in the United States (a list that included 1,152 schools), in the top 5% of Best College Prep Private High Schools in America, and in the top 3% of Best Schools for STEM in America (a list that included more than 9,500 public and private schools).
Editor’s Proud Comment: This SJP info reminds me of Garrison Keillor’s famous quote about Stearns County, “Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.”
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From Vic Murphy ’92, St. Paul, MN —
Opening day in the Pioneer League total attendance of all five games was just about 14,000; Bethel/SJU listed at over 11,000. Tommies at home hosting Morehead St just over 4,400.
Tell me again what the draw is to play that level of “D-1”? — Vic
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From Jim Conn ’64, Alexandria, MN, who particularly enjoyed the stadium music after the game and sent it to us for all to enjoy. He thought the music’s loud volume, the fall colors and all the people mingling on the field was just a perfect celebratory ending to a great day:
Piano Man, by Billy Joel
The changing fall colors provide a backdrop to the video board as SJU prepares to kick off to Bethel to start the second half (Photo by Jim Conn).
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From Tom Bauer ’61/’65, Madison, WI —
Bob, Saturday the Johnnies were the Bombas! Especially in the second half when the offense got going. Defense seemed strong all game. Special teams were good except for the missed field goals. The takeaways really helped.
This was part of an article in today's Wisconsin State Journal.
"Wisconsin spent more than $167 million in 2022-23, according to unaudited figures presented Wednesday at an Athletic Board committee meeting.” The UW has 900+ varsity athletes out of an enrollment of about 44,000+
SJU/CSB field about the same number of varsity teams. About 1/3 of the students of our schools participate in a varsity sport.
(Editor’s Observation: It would be interesting to know what CSB-SJU’s athletic budget is…next to UW it’s minuscule but we sure get a lot of mileage out of what we do have. Your info shows just how costly it is to offer athletic scholarships as well as to travel so far for Big 10 competition. Eat your heart out, St. Thomas.)
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From Jim Conway ’58/’62, Wayzata, MN —
So, lad, for your next, maybe consider one of these:
1. "Oh, no!" someone else insisted. "None of this balking and filling. Let's put our shoulders to the bit. We've got to get our teeth into the guts of this."
2. Everyone immediately picked up his ears. There was some agreement. "A very infirmitive idea," one of his colleagues vouchsafed." And another: "You hit the nose right on the head."
3. Finally, the original proponent got another turn. "All right. All right," he said. "You've really put me through the griddle. But don't you realize that a lot of water has gone over the bridge? This problem has a lot of faucets to it."
All excerpted from a 1963 speech at the National Academy of Arbitrators by Willard Wittz. No attribution needed. Just trying to be a good citizen. Best. — J
P.S. - Jim Randall (left) and and the late Frank Knoll (both SJP ’58/SJU ’62) pictured at graduation from Prep in 1958. The lion was, er, borrowed from the entrance to the old gym by Randall and some other young guy who prefers to remain anon.
(Editor’s appreciation: Our thanks…we’re going to use all of them. Nothing like some well-considered malapropisms. Regarding the unnamed “lion borrower,” far be it from me to even whisper John Ditzler’s name…or was it you, Jim? Fess up…all the monks who would have cared are long gone.)
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From Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ, another Tommie joke —
UST Unclear on the Concept —
Four Tommies answer a help wanted ad calling for laborers to plant telephone poles. They get hired and are told to report to the job site the next day.
When the Tommies arrive they find that that more men have been hired. The manager divides the crew into four-man teams, with the Tommies together on one team.
At the end of the day the first team has planted seven poles and the second has planted eight. When he asks the Tommie team how many poles they placed, the leader says “Two.”
Somewhat upset, the manager asks, "Why so few? The other teams did a lot more.”
"Sure, but did you see how much they left sticking out of the ground?"
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Battle Between The Sexes, A Quick Understanding—
Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Customer: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is.
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Heavenly Considerations —
(Contributed by Fred Senn ’64, Edina, MN)
The bridal couple was tragically killed in a car accident on the way to the church. Even St. Peter was surprised to see them. They beseeched him – since they were almost married, could they now get married in heaven? St. Peter didn’t have the answer. “Wait here,” he told them. “I’ll go find out,”
Six weeks later he returned. “ Yes, it would be possible for you to get married in heaven.”
They thanked St. Peter profusely, but in the long time they had been waiting they got to wondering if a couple could get divorced in heaven.
St. Peter snapped, “It took me six weeks to find a priest up here. How long do you think it is going to take me to find a lawyer?”
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Odds And Ends —
SJU’s Syverson a 2023 NFF Campbell Trophy Semifinalist —
In an announcement on Wednesday, September 27, Senior quarterback #6 Aaron Syverson was named one of 201 semifinalists for the 2023 William V. Campbell Trophy and is a candidate for the 2023 National Football Foundation (NFF) Scholar-Athlete Awards, presented by Fidelity Investments.
Syverson is one of 48 student-athletes from NCAA Division III and one of four nominees from the Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference (MIAC) for the Campbell Trophy. Augsburg linebacker Justin Tverberg, Hamline wide receiver Charlie Wilson and St. Olaf linebacker Ben Hestorff are the others. Read rest of article here:
https://gojohnnies.com/news/2023/9/27/football-sjus-syverson-a-2023-nff-campbell-trophy-semifinalist.aspx
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Lady Safety Makes History —
During the Shenandoah University football team’s win over Juniata College, Haley Van Voorhis, a junior safety, became the first female non-kicker football player to play in an NCAA football game, as she entered the game towards the end of the first quarter on a 3rd and 7 play. On the ensuing play, Van Voorhis registered a QB hurry, helping force a fourth down. https://suhornets.com/sports/football/roster/haley-van-voorhis/8153
(Thanks to Pete Hill ‘76 for this info.)
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Planning Way Ahead—For A Change…
Virtually every year, usually in early December, a few of us in a panic scamper around the Cities looking for a suitable site to watch the Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl. Of course, by that time, many good venues are booked because of Christmas parties. And we usually find something that’ll work well enough for the dozen or more who show up to enjoy the Div-III final together.
This year it’s different. We’ve already booked the party room at the Park Tavern in St. Louis Park for Friday evening, December 15, from 5 to 10 pm. It’s the same room that the Lunch Bunch meets in monthly, so it’s a known entity.
The game will be played in Salem, VA this year, after being away for a few years. If in the unlikely circumstance we end up playing in the championship, we can easily give up our reservation and head East. Or maybe some others who cannot travel out to Virginia can still watch the game with red-dressed compatriots there.
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“And miles to go before I sleep…”
Abby Willenbring covers a lot of ground when she's on the soccer field. How much?
Well … heart monitors and tracking showed the College of Saint Benedict senior defender ran a total of 27 kilometers (almost 16.8 miles) during two home victories over Hamline and Wartburg (Iowa) Sept. 16-17.
Add in practices in the week leading up to those games and the grand total was around 51,000 meters (31.7 miles).
"I don't even have the right words to describe her athleticism," Bennies head coach Steve Kimble said. "She truly is an incredible athlete. She's so fit and so fast, and she does so much for us."
(Read Frank Rajkowski’s article here: https://gobennies.com/news/2023/9/26/womens-soccer-magnifi-financial-bennie-feature-abby-willenbring-has-unique-drive-and-competition-spirit.aspx )
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Battle Between The Sexes, Marital Problem Solving —
(Contributed by Chris Scholl)
“After being married for 50 years, the husband took a careful look at his wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night.
"Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $65,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."
His wife is a very reasonable woman. She told him to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that he would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.
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J-Club Hall of Honor induction —
Hi Rob - Loving another season of the UUN. Would appreciate you mentioning the upcoming J-Club Hall of Honor induction event on Homecoming Sat, 10/14.
This will be our 4th full class of honorees and it’s another great group. For the football supporters in your UUN distribution list there should be at least a few inductees of interest to them.
WR Chris Palmer ’96 was SJU’s first Gagliardi Trophy winner, a 2x All-American and his teams won 3 straight MIAC titles, while also being an All-MIAC baseball player.
Darwin Dumonceaux ’99 won a national shot put title in track. On the football field he was a two-year starter on the defensive line.
The 2003 football team went undefeated, helped push John Gagliardi atop the all-time coaching wins record and won the program’s most recent national championship.
8 additional inductees will be joining them, making a total of 11 inductees in our 2023 J-Club Hall of Honor class.
Lou Adderley ’55 (posthumous) – Tennis and Wrestling
Paul Bernabei ’69 – Basketball
Jon Dold ’94 – Baseball
Chris Erichsen ’08 – Cross Country and Track & Field
Terry Haws (posthumous) – Coach
Tom Kubinski ’86 – Swimming & Diving
Matt McGovern ’01 – Golf
Fr. Dunstan Tucker ’25 (posthumous) – Distinguished Service
The Hall of Honor class will be recognized as part of the Homecoming football game on the 14th but the main recognition event will be the Hall of Honor dinner and enshrinement that evening. The event is being held at Guild Hall (Old Gym) with a social at 4:30 p.m. followed by the dinner and program at 5:15 p.m. The cost for the event is $75 per person through Oct. 8 ($100 per person after) and includes dinner and beverages. Readers can register to attend online: https://connect.csbsju.edu/register/HoH23
Frank Rajkowski and Ryan Klinker created and are sharing profile articles and videos on each inductee on GoJohnnies.com. The most recent post was on Matt McGovern (https://gojohnnies.com/news/2023/9/27/golf-2023-j-club-hall-of-honor-class-matt-mcgovern-01.aspx) and your readers can find links to the posts on Erichsen, Palmer, Haws, Kubinski, Dumonceaux and Adderly at the bottom of the McGovern article. Posts for the remaining inductees will be shared in the days leading up to Homecoming weekend.
Thanks, Dan Murphy ’05, J-Club President
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
6 Best Foods to Fight a Cold or Flu
When the telltale sniffles, aches, and sneezing take you down, these are the foods that can help you bounce back faster.
https://www.silversneakers.com/blog/best-foods-to-fight-a-cold-or-flu/
* * * *
The Armed Robbery —
A young, poor-looking woman walked into a liquor store with two guns, pointed them at the shopkeeper, and said, “Give me six bottles of scotch whiskey and all the money in the till, and then I want you to take me into your storeroom and make love to me.”
The shopkeeper got her the six bottles of scotch, emptied the money from the till into the young woman’s handbag, and then went with her into the storeroom. They took off all their clothes and made love.
In the excitement, the woman dropped the guns on the floor. The shopkeeper paused a moment, then said, “Miss, could you please pick up your guns again? I’m expecting my wife to arrive any minute.”
* * * *
Frog Joke #1 —
A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
"Great," says the frog, "Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," said the psychic, "Next year—in biology class."
* * * *
The Final Word —
(Contributed by Peg Marrin ’65, Dallas TX)
Frog Joke #2 —
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.” The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I forgot to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!”
The woman said, "That would be okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me.” So, KAZAM she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog reminded her, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.” So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, ”I'd like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them...
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This issue’s quite late…lots of material… so thanks for your understanding. Here’s what we hope to say about the Auggies on Saturday afternoon about 4 pm — we smoked ‘em! Whether you attempt to root for the Johnnies in person down in Minneapolis, listen on the radio, or pay to view, just remember to holler:
Broil the Augsburgers!
(Or something like that.)
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Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697
Website: https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com/
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