Let’s Hope It Was A Week Well-Spent UUN #4-23
Dear Still-Shaken Fans —
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While we’re still processing our horrible loss two Saturdays ago, the best thing to do is to start with a Tommie joke to get us back into the spirit of Johnnie Exceptionalism.
Tommie Medicine —
A man, suffering with a miserable cold, was referred by a friend to his son, a new doctor and graduate of the University of St. Thomas. The Tommie doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.
On his next visit the Tom doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.
On his third visit the Tommie told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
"I know," said our Purple doc, "I can cure pneumonia."
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Senior tight end #8 Alex Larson caught a 9-yard touchdown pass with four seconds remaining in the first half at UW-Whitewater (image courtesy of Libby Auger).
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Reader Comments Re Whitewater (and More) —
From Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ —
Bummer of a game. I wasn’t able to get audio or video streaming to work, so I followed on GoJohnnies.com. But I got called away at halftime and didn’t get back to it until the game was over. I was stunned! There’s nothing more to say except that it’s a long season and there’s time for adjustments to be made and take effect. This is a good week for a bye.
Three Whitewater football players had just bought a can of Pepsi One and were anxious to try it for the first time.
So they open the can and pour the contents into three glasses.
One of the Warhawks eyes the three glasses suspiciously and says, "I wonder which one has the calorie?"
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From Bill Carney ‘66, Ft. Lauderdale, FL —
Here’s an old Irish song in a new twist by a band from Tullamore, Offaly, Ireland. This should have been played after the Whitewater game. https://youtu.be/nEqniB9ctag?si=_iH5Q3266_04F8im
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From Mike Murphy ’61, St. Paul, MN —
Bob, Great job handling the embarrassing loss to WW. While telling the ugly truth about it, you made Gary look like the leaders' leader he is, taking the buck-stops-here stance and promising himself (and the fans) that the coaching staff and team will start all over now--get a team out there that wants to win and knows how. Instead of whining about the loss, you focused on Gary's honest assessment, not just of the game, but of what has become painfully apparent: this year's program needs some serious fixing, especially the defense. — Mike
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From Dan McDermott ’84, Plymouth, MN —
Regarding bad thumping for SJU, in more recent history the Johnnies lost to the Tommies on the road in 2011 63-7...ouch.
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From the Football Whisperer —
Sat 23 | Day
71°
Scattered Showers
Rain
64%
Wind
ESE
15 mph
Variable clouds with showers and scattered thunderstorms. High 71F. Winds ESE at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of rain 60%.
Might be a break from rain/thunder at midday.
(Editor’s Reaction: Rats! That’s all we need. Now we really have to find our running game and practice good ball control.)
* * * *
Junior kicker #12 Conor Murphy completes the extra point in the final seconds of the first half, thus tying the game. You’ll note the large empty space in the Whitewater stands; it was occupied by the Warhawks sizable marching band that had just moved out and was assembling at the end of the field for their halftime presentation. (image courtesy of Lisa Buck).
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Overheard at Gorecki Center —
A Bennie tells her dining companion, “I just got my boyfriend a 'get better soon' card.”
“Oh, dear…what’s wrong with him?” asked her friend.
“He isn't sick, I just think he can get better.”
* * * *
MIAC Standings —
Northwoods Division
Carleton 2-0
Gustavus 1-1
Saint John’s 1-1
Saint Olaf 1-1
St. Scholastica 1-1
Skyline Division
Augsburg 2-0
Hamline 2-0
Macalester 2-0
Bethel 1-1
Concordia 1-1
* * * *
Football Schedule —
(All game 1 p.m., except Trinity)
Sep. 2 Trinity (TX) Collegeville W 34-31
Sep. 9 UW-Whitewater Whitewater, WI L 56-28
Sep. 16 Bye —
Sep. 23 Bethel Collegeville
Sep. 30 Augsburg Minneapolis
Oct. 7 Concordia Collegeville
Oct. 14 Carleton Collegeville
Oct. 21 Gustavus St. Peter
Oct. 28 St. Scholastica Collegeville
Nov. 4 St. Olaf Northfield
Nov. 11 MIAC Champ TBD
https://gojohnnies.com/sports/football/schedule
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, Mike Carr ’77, and Charlie Carr ’03 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 26th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet (660wbhr.com).
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Listening via the Internet: https://www.660wbhr.com/wbhr-st-johns-sports
Viewing via live streaming: https://miacsportsnetwork.com/?B=596745 (Note: Find the St. John’s - Bethel game, then pay for coverage.)
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Senior linebacker #49 Erik Bjork (center), SJU's leading tackler the last two seasons, has forced a fumble in each of the Johnnies' first two games in 2023 (photo by Libby Auger).
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Parenting Challenges —
Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Worse: With corrections.
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Around The MIAC —
Week 3 Results — September 16
Bethel at UW-Eau Claire — (I see the Royals taking UW-EC by two or three TDs.) The Royals did even a tiny bit better by winning 24 to Zip. Let’s hope SJU can figure out Bethel’s defense better than the Blugolds.
Martin Luther College at Augsburg — (Yikes! Another game that shouldn't be played...the Auggies by 50...maybe 60.) Holy Moly! The Auggies despoiled MLC 62-0.
Crown College at St. Scholastica —(The Saints will be in the "win" column; probably one of the few such this season.) Our brothers in Benedictine Footballism throttled Crown 38-18. Congrats to the Saints.
Gustavus at UW-Stout — (The Gusties should prevail over one of the lower echelon WIAC teams. If they don't it looks bad for the MIAC.) Unfortunately for the Gusties, Stout was more stout at 24-7, and yes, that doesn’t look good for the MIAC…or at least Gustavus.
Carleton at UM-Morris — (Poor Morris continues to be a punching bag for the MIAC.) Yep, the Knights continued the MIAC dominance by controlling Morris 38 to 12. Morris is now 0-3 against our conference.
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Other Games of Interest —
University of St. Thomas at Harvard University — (Glenn's boys will be out-classed in more ways than one by the Crimson, although I'd like to see the Toms play well against those Cambridge swells.) As predicted, the Tommies are just not in the same class as the Ivy League, being humbled by the Crimson 45-13.
UW-Whitewater at Mary Hardin-Baylor — (I can't see the Cru having much of a chance against the Warhawks, but I doubt they'll beat UMHB up as badly as they did SJU.) That’s right…Whitewater did win but only by three points: 17-14! How far will UMHB fall this week? They should really go up a point or two by staying so close to the Warhawks.
UW-River Falls at Univ. of Northwestern, MN — (Whoever scheduled this abomination for Northwestern? UW-RF will grind them into the turf.) Yikes! It’s even worse than I thought at 75-3. Just horrible.
Carthage College at North Central, IL — (The only reason this upcoming massacre is listed is because the game is ironically called a "Suicide Prevention Awareness Game." Someone should have prevented Carthage from playing this suicidal contest in the first place.). No surprise here — North Central skipped to a 70-0 win…I can’t call this outrage a “victory” but a wanton slaughter.
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Upcoming Games, Week 4 — September 23
Hamline at Carleton — (This will be a much closer game than I once thought, but the Knights should prevail.)
Augsburg at Gustavus — (The Auggies are on a roll and it’s just another trounce…unless they’re looking past the Gusties for their big game against the Johnnies on 9/30.)
Macalester at St. Olaf — (Hard to bet against the Oles on their home turf…but it shouldn’t be a run-away.)
Concordia at St. Scholastica — (This should be a run-away for the up and down Cobbers.)
Bethel at St. John’s — (The Jays have to get their gridiron dobbers up after the Whitewater fiasco to meet a really tough challenge when it actually counts. Let’s say they can do it by a hoped-for ten points.)
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Other Game of Interest —
Morehead State at St. Thomas — (It won’t be easy for Glenn’s Tom-boys this Saturday, but the Tommies should eke out a home win.)
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2023 D3football.com Week 3 Top 25 —
The Top 25 poll is beginning to stabilize already. The top seven remained the same this week. A bit of a surprise came as inactive St. John’s moved up a point to #8 while Linfield dropped a point to #9. Go figure. When Bethel was inactive a week or so ago they dropped two points. Speaking of Bethel, after their fairly strong 24-0 victory over UW-Eau Claire, they actually dropped another point to #19 from #18…I’m thinking the pollsters don’t like Baptists or something. The only other significant move had poor ol’ Mary Hardin-Baylor moving downward to #23 from #19 after only losing to #4 UW-Whitewater by three lousy points, 17-14. The coaches, SIDs and media members who make up the panel must be saying, “Let’s screw the Cru.”
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2023/week3
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Bethel Discussion Host —
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering of Bethel University graduate students, and his student host naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling us, Doctor," he asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"
The Royal thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
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Quote of the Week —
(Passed on in his blog by Fr. Eric Hollas, OSB)
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison in hopes that the other guy will die.
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Life With A Landline —
* * * *
A Bit About Bethel —
(We’re pretty familiar with Bethel so I’ll try to make this quick.)
Bethel University is a private Christian university and seminary in Arden Hills, Minnesota, a northern suburb of St. Paul. It was founded in 1871 as a seminary and is affiliated with Converge, which formerly was known in part as the Baptist General Conference.
The university enrolls 5,600 students in undergraduate, graduate, and seminary programs, with 2,800 undergraduates. Its main campus is situated on about 290 acres on the east side of Lake Valentine just south of Interstate 694.
There are four freshman residence halls on campus. Additionally, two residence halls, Arden Village and Lissner Hall, mostly house returning students. North Village, a collection of five buildings formerly used as housing for seminary students, houses returning students and offers a full kitchen in every suite. Heritage Hall, opened in 1999, is a suite-style residence hall, housing juniors and seniors. Bethel is strict about on-campus living, as strict or more so that CSB/SJU; currently students must be 21 years of age prior to September 1 to live off-campus with the exception of those who commute from their parents’ home.
A morning prayer chapel service is offered each class day, as well as vespers on Sunday evenings, but attendance is no longer mandatory. This surprises me, since religion as expressed through pietistic evangelical Baptist Christianity is pretty hardcore at Bethel. In fact, all full-time students in the College of Arts and Sciences are expected to abide by the “Covenant for Life Together,” which is a lifestyle agreement that focuses on living a life of faith and personal morality.
The Covenant emphasizes a respect for all persons and ethnic traditions and requires students to refrain from any sort of extramarital sex, homosexuality, pornography, gambling, illegal drugs, and tobacco in any form. (Sort of what it was like at St. John’s and St. Ben’s when I was there 60 years ago, except for the tobacco part.)
Under the Covenant for Life Together, students in the College of Arts and Sciences were initially prohibited from dancing or consuming alcohol year-round, but the rules were eventually relaxed to allow alcohol consumption when classes are not in session. Alcohol consumption by full-time students in the College of Arts and Sciences is still prohibited during the academic year. And all this brings me to two of my favorite quickie Bethel jokes:
1.) Why should you always take two Bethel alums fishing? If you take just one Royal, he'll drink all your beer; if you take two, they won't drink any.
2.) Why don’t Bethel graduate couples enjoy sex standing up?
Because someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
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About Bethel Football —
For many years now, and for many years in the future, Bethel was, is and will be SJU’s main competition, particularly with the removal of the Purple Villains of Summit Avenue. And, no surprise, Bethel remains quite strong and talented again this year.
Led by Steve Johnson, who enters his 34th season as the head football coach at Bethel University, the Royals football program has risen to national prominence and has become a perennial contender for the MIAC championship. He has amassed 244 career wins and reigns as all-time “wins” leader among active NCAA Div-III coaches. In the past 20 years, Johnson’s teams have won the MIAC championship five times and has made the NCAA Div-III play-offs eleven times.
So all this means that the Royals are not to be taken lightly by the Johnnies, even with the current difference in d3football.com rankings. They want us, and want us badly. Of course, you can say that about Gustavus, Concordia, Augsburg, and maybe Carleton — after every year of success we have a bigger target on our backs.
This year’s edition of the Royals is not too unlike other recent teams, with the exception of not having the great Jaran Roste quarterbacking once again. Bethel, with about 105 players on the team, mostly from small-town Minnesota, have a number of outstanding skill players on both sides of the ball and on special teams. Like us, they’ve suffered some injuries to key personnel, most important now seemingly the loss of star running back sophomore David Geebli. Unlike us, they continue to be a very young team, with only six seniors, two fifth-year players and two grad students listed. The rest of the team is heavy with junior and sophomore starters, with even a red-shirted freshman, #3 Alex Call, starting as quarterback in the place of previous year’s back-up #7 George Bolt. Young Call, who has made his share of rookie miscues in the first two contests, nevertheless has been quite impressive and, with his star All-American junior wide receiver #2 Joey Kidder, shows he can score in lightning-fast fashion. Somehow we have to pressure the newbie QB, or they’ll eat us up.
Some more words about Kidder: he’s the real thing and soon—as only a junior just starting the season—he will set the Bethel all-time TD receiving mark. Last week, against UW-Eau Claire, Kidder snagged 34- and 76-yard pass-runs for touchdowns. Besides him, junior wide receiver #26 Aaron Ellingson and sophomore running back #24 Riley Gritz are featured offensively. The Royals offensive line is routinely big, probably the biggest we’ll face in the MIAC. Of the 18 O-linemen listed in the roster, my guess is the average would be 6’2”, 290 lbs., with a few giants over 300. I’m assuming that, with that depth, Bethel will be frequently substituting linemen to wear down our D-line.
Defensively, they’re not as deep nor as big on the line. The standouts are linebackers and defensive backs: we’ll hear the names of outstanding sophomore #9 Devin Williams, junior #21 Nate Farm, junior #44 Jacob Holman, junior #22 Gavin Rataj, freshman #20 Matt Jung, and junior #10 Isaac Call (the QB’s older brother) frequently mentioned for stopping plays. Also worthy of mention is outstanding junior kicker #33 Hugo Cifuentes.
What’s it like for this Saturday? A real tough, hard-hitting affair. Kind of like, who wants it the most. SJU’s weaknesses have been adequately demonstrated, especially from the second-half fiasco at Whitewater. With our two first-string WRs out with injuries, I hope we’ll be trying to establish an effective running game mixed with strategic passes, rather than the last two pass-centric games. Sure, it’s exciting to see us connect with a bomb and it does discourage our opponents, but I don’t think that should be our offensive emphasis for this game. Short passes complimenting some newly-conceived running plays may be what it takes. And if we can adequately cover Big, Fast Joey and pressure his quarterback, as well as withstand the pounding from their O-line, I see us emerging as victors by a ten-point margin. But I’m still leery of their defense.
* * * *
Bethel, Wartburg display the best of Division III
(Forwarded by Norma Schramm, another strong column by STRIB sports columnist, Patrick Reusse.)
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Royal Insomniac —
A Bethel football lineman goes to the doctor because he has insomnia. He tells the doctor, "I haven’t been able to sleep very well for the past couple of weeks," so the doctor gives him a prescription for sleeping pills.
The few days later the Royal player calls the doctor and tells him the pills are not working, he still hasn’t been able to sleep. The doctor tells him to come back in to the office. There the doctor tells him he wants to put him under observation after taking the pills because it’s very odd that they are not working.
After a couple hours the doctor comes back and he sees our Bethel lineman laying down with the pills on his eyelids.
* * * *
Battle Between The Sexes, Deathbed Conversations —
Old Harry was on his deathbed. He raised himself on one elbow and beckoned to his wife. "Doris", he whispered, "you were with me through the Great Depression."
“Yes, Harry."
"Doris, you were with me through the worst droughts in the fifties and the eighties."
“Yes, Harry."
"And you were with me when the farm got burned out by the bushfires in the nineties. And last year, you were still hanging in there with me when the bank foreclosed on our mortgage and we lost the farm."
“Yes, Harry."
"And now, here you are with me today, when I'm just about to die."
Doris nodded.
"You know, Doris", he whispered, "I'm beginning to think that you're nothing but bad luck!”
* * * *
Odds & Ends —
Lucy Lyngen is defined by resiliency and courage
By Frank Rajkowski
(Editor’s Note: Lucy’s dad, C.J. Lyngen ’92, reports she just had her annual check up with scans, blood work, etc., and is now four years cancer free.)
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SJU Golf Cruises to Win at Fall Invite
No. 11 Saint John's Golf cruised to a win at its annual Fall Invitational on Sunday, Sept. 17, at Blackberry Ridge G.C. (par 72).
The Johnnies fired a 5-under par 283 Sunday to finish 22 shots ahead of Concordia-Moorhead in second place. SJU Blue claimed third, followed by Whitworth and a tie between SJU White and Gustavus Adolphus' second team in fifth.
https://gojohnnies.com/news/2023/9/17/no-11-sju-golf-cruises-to-win-at-fall-invite.aspx
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Fiona Smith Sets More Records
Fiona Smith sets 6K record and wins Carleton Invitational Title on Saturday 16, 2023. and sets a school record for a second straight week and added a course record (27.21) to her long resume .
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CSB Volleyball records giant win
(Sent in by the Bennies’ #1 fan, no matter the sport, Sister Lois Well, OSB)
Last Friday night HISTORY WAS MADE by the CSB volleyball team participating in the UW-Whitewater Volleyball tournament. For the first time in St. Ben’s Volleyball history, the team beat Washington University, Saint Louis. It took five sets but this Bennie team did what no other Bennie team had ever done. We won the first two sets, lost the third and fourth and came back to win the 5th 15-13! So no longer when the stats for these two teams are given will there be a 0 in our wins column! Washington U was often ranked No.1 but this year it was No. 7; St. Ben’s is No. 20… I, for one, am very excited about this! — Lois
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Suit Up These Guys
Two outstanding former Johnnie defensive linemen happened upon each other in downtown Excelsior, MN during a music festival recently. Left is Michael Wozniak ’22 with Jason Good ’06. Both were All-Americans and better yet, both were Academic All-Americans. Jason and your editor hosted Michael as a graduating high school senior at Johnnie-owned Maynard’s in Excelsior about six or seven years ago, wanting to underscore his decision to attend Saint John’s. Michael did very well there, both on and off the field.
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Bethel Student’s Menu Selection —
A Bethel University senior took his date to a nice restaurant at the nearby Rosedale Center. When it came time to order the Royal asked the waitress, “Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?”
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* * * *
’63 Camelia Bowl Team to be Honored
The class of 1964 and the 1963 Camelia Bowl team at Saint John’s are celebrating the 60th anniversary of the 1963 championship season. On the weekend of October 6-9, members of the team and the Class of 1964 will meet for a brunch and brief program before the football game with Concordia. Team members will be introduced to the fans during the game. More information can be found here:
https://connect.csbsju.edu/register/1963CameliaBowlReunion
Bill Draves ’64 of Goodyear, AZ sent me some photos of a much, much earlier Class of ’64 get-together named the Bullhead City Reunion. There were three such reunions centered around Bullhead City, AZ where John McCormick ’60/’64 managed his family’s real estate and water development operations. The photo below shows the group that gathered with John in the winter of 1982. Notice the background topography — the desert area around Lake Mohave really does look like a moonscape.
From left of the adults: Gary Kordosky, Maggie Judge, John McCormick (behind her), Paul Judge, Tom McKasy, Bill Draves (behind) the late Cathy Danielson, John Danielson, Bob Wicker, Martha LeDuc Wicker, and Jim Herickhoff. The kids all belong to Paul and Maggie Judge. Of interest to some of the Class of 1964 readers: Of this group of 40 years ago, Kordosky, Judge, McCormick, McKasy, Wicker and Herickhoff are all coming back for the Camelia Bowl celebration on October 7. Please join us.
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Meanwhile, At Kay’s Kitchen —
A Johnnie began frequenting Kay’s Kitchen in St. Joe after becoming infatuated with an attractive Bennie waitress. He wanted to ask this young woman for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away.
Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented.
The smitten Jay said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact."
"Oh," said the Bennie, "I thought you wanted more coffee."
* * * *
Wicker’s Health Rant —
(From Jim Weiss ’64, Lexington, SC)
“Cheers” got it right. Who would have known?
1982 Cheers Episode Discussing Mutant Viruses
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIiLxh3FPMk (1:05 min.)
Covid 2.0…Are You Ready?
Already the medical establishment and the media are beating the drums warning of more/newer Covid on the horizon and the need for the latest new vaccine (not a booster). Should you get it? Depends.
According to Dr. Paul Offit, a leading expert on vaccinology serving on the FDA’s vaccine advisory committee, the vaccine will be best used to protect highly vulnerable people such as those over 75 and those with chronic health conditions. He suggests that healthy children, young and middle-aged people probably have enough immunity to this virus from prior vaccination or infection that they won’t benefit very much from this booster/vaccine.
Given the less-than-stellar results of the past Covid vaccines and boosters, and whether or not you decide for additional vaccine protection, here are some inexpensive, concrete, natural ways to promote a healthy immune response to exposure to the Covid virus, as well as sundry cold and flu viruses that tend to increase with colder weather: Wash your hands—a lot. Cut back on eating/drinking refined sugar. Avoid as much as possible highly-processed foods and most fast foods. Eat at restaurants less; and choose more fruits and vegetables. Get adequate sleep and stay properly hydrated.
What else? It’s important to begin strengthening your immunity through daily supplementation, first, of Vitamins C (500 mg) and D3 (begin with 2,000 to 4,000 iu a day, and then get your Vitamin D level tested by your healthcare provider…you want to have a D level of between 50 and 70 ng/mL for maximum efficacy; 40 ng/mL should keep you out of the hospital if you catch a more serious case of Covid). Next, add Zinc (15 to 25 mg), and Quercetin (800 mg) with Bromelain (165 mg) (Those products are combined in several brands). Many people find that taking Magnesium (500 mg) and Vitamin K2 (90 mcg) increase the efficacy of the Vitamin D3.
The key is to begin before you become infected. So start supplementing now. Once you're sick it's generally too late to begin.
And then there’s my secret weapon, only to be used on occasion when you want more protection from crowds, travel, etc., or when you think you’re coming down with something: XLear Rescue Nasal Spray. It’s a saline solution made with xylitol combined with pau d’arco and four important essential oils: oregano, tea tree, eucalyptus and parsley. It’s not for everyday use — keep it for when you need it.
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* * * *
Family Comparisons —
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.
"I have four boys, and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team."
"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
"That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
* * * *
Office Party —
John woke up after the annual office party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”
“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”
“He’s a jerk,” John said. “Piss on him.”
“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”
“Well, screw him!” said John.
“I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”
* * * *
The Final Word —
(Contributed once again by Bob Malby ’64, Edina, MN)
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now…
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Time to get this issue out…and it’s time for Johnnie fans to get psyched up for this game. Let’s cheer on our Johnnies, starting with:
Barbecue Bethel Royally!
(Or something like that.)
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Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697
Website: https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com/
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