Clobbered a Pansy…BFD. UUN #10-23
(This season of the Unofficial Underground News is being brought to you the 1976 National Championship Team. We thank this year’s sponsors for underwriting our new production/mailing costs.)
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Dear Always Hopeful, Mostly Positive Fans —
Our boys, as expected, laid waste to one of the lowest-ranked teams in the MIAC by a mammoth 62-7 score. It could have been much worse. And the result was our continued drop in the polls, as predicted in the last UUN. We’ll see what happens next week after St. Olaf but, for the most part, stick a fork in us— we’re done for in this season, nationally speaking. What we have left are two good games in which to play for pride and enjoyment.
I’ve been through this at least once before that I recall. After SJU won the first national championship in December 1963, we had great hopes to, if not repeat as champs, at least make a strong showing nationally once again. And so, with highest expectations, I went over to Hamline University to see what I thought would be a decisive Johnnie victory; instead the Pipers, of all teams, cleaned our clock and that year turned out to be just like this one. However, the following year, in December 1965, SJU again was national champ. Disappointment followed by elation.
Will this happen in 2024 for SJU. Don’t count on it. We’re losing a ton of talent to their eventual graduation, whether after fourth or fifth or more seasons. Across the MIAC we’re seeing stronger competition and the conference—with the exception of Bethel and once upon a time, St. Thomas—is no longer our puppy dog; witness our struggles with Gustavus and Augsburg.
Some think this is a welcome development…parity and far fewer outrageously disparate scores, like the one last Saturday at Collegeville, are good for the league as a whole. Still others believe that MIAC football is ours and, if parity comes, it belongs to all the teams below us in the standings. The school/team needs to let us know which scenario to follow as fans. That might silence the critics if expectations are lowered.
Some deep introspection is necessary going forward. We’ve been operating with a strong belief system — St. John’s has the best players, the top coaches, the Gagliardi mystique, an unparalleled tradition, the foremost venue, the most loyal fans, the largest crowds, a superb college experience, and so forth. Despite all the early hype and suggestions that we’ve got the talent, drive and desire to go all the way this season, and that the last two previous flame-outs early in the playoffs were a disappointing anomaly, we actually flamed out even earlier in the process this year, eschewing (most likely) the playoffs altogether.
What to do about it lies with the coaches and the college administrators, certainly not from hyper-critical fans and in this e-newsletter, but I’m a bit troubled nevertheless with the air of triumphalism that I read after our somewhat restrained romp over such a weak team; that our victory over—as companion Chris described CSS—“Grandma and her knitting circle”was some indicator of greatness restored. Here’s some of what I read about the game in the SJU recap:
“We just executed really well," said [Aaron] Syverson, whose team was looking to rebound after a 38-35 loss at Gustavus Adolphus a week ago. "We might not always be able to have this same kind of success against every team. But this should be our goal every week.”
"I said before we went out that if we won the toss, we were going to take the ball and score, then keep it going the whole game," SJU head coach Gary Fasching ’81 said. "It was good that we did that. Aaron did a great job running the offense.
"That game against Gustavus did leave a bad taste in all of our mouths," he continued. "So to come out and play the way we did today — to play with some excitement and energy — was really important.”
"We didn't play well defensively last week," Fasching said. "When you give up 38 points, that's not who we are (Editor’s emphasis). So it was good that we came out strong today. Overall, defensively, I thought we played much better.”
Sorry, guys, but I’m not buying it. Indeed you played much better — with “some energy and excitement” — against a nothing squad, an embarrassingly poor opponent, yet when push came to shove, where a truly dominant team would have handled Augsburg and Gustavus like we handled Bethel, we came up empty or nearly so. Where’s the humility, the grasp of reality, the admission that this is a flawed, erratic team that either can’t get up with the aforementioned energy and excitement for bigger games on the road, or is cowed/confused by the motivated teams that don’t lay over and play dead like Carleton and St. Scholastica?
This Saturday we play, on the road, against St. Olaf, a feisty Augsburg-like team that nearly beat Gustavus last week. What can we expect from St. John’s? We’ve already got two strikes against us: it’s an away game and the Oles are a feisty team.
Of course, we continue to support our team and coaches, we’re proud of and hope for the best for them. We want them to succeed and really be “who we are” — playing exemplary St. John’s football with clean, hard teamwork, few if any mistakes, and great sportsmanship with as close to zero penalties, particularly of the cheap-shot variety, as we can get. And, of course, a big win with no injuries on either side is always a plus. However, I think many of us have lowered our expectations, certainly for the rest of this year and perhaps beyond. It depends upon how the coaches address our weaknesses and uneven play. And then let us know if we are content to play to the standards of the rest of the conference instead to striving to reach the Top Ten in Division III annually. It seems to me that we’ve been coasting too long on our reputation.
Speaking of “That’s not who we are” and its companion excuse “That’s not Johnnie football,” it’s my hope we don’t have to hear them again this year. Those phrases have been paraded out by players and coaches after numerous contests featuring game-changing 15-yard unnecessary roughness, low block, taunting, unsportsmanlike conduct, and roughing the passer penalties, and then those maddening momentum-killing 5- & 10-yard penalties of encroachment, false start, illegal motion, neutral zone infraction, offensive offside, delay of game, and defensive and offensive holding. It is used also to explain offensive or defensive lapses. Even when we didn’t lose, the penalties and offensive miscues were a huge distraction and demonstrated a number of issues that still need to be addressed, mainly concentration and self-discipline. When we play “Johnnie Football” and act “Who We Are,” these things are rarely an issue.
Elsewhere in this UUN you’ll read a harsh critique of team critics by an alum/former player/current professor/avid supporter of team. His viewpoint is welcome and provides a counterpoint to some of the emotional and immediate feedback from some “anonymous” disappointed fans, some of whom who had already backed down from and regretted their own harsh words following the numbing Gustavus loss.
There’s a point in all this, the 25th year of the Unofficial Underground News. And that is, this is not an official organ of St. John’s University; that its independence and provision of a forum for criticism and questioning is valued by the majority of its readership, even when some readers might not always agree with or appreciate some of the contents. Others, like the professor, who don’t like the sometime negative or questioning tone of the newsletter are free to unsubscribe, as he did a few years ago. Uncritical boosterism has its place too. We've had our share in the UUN too.
Overall, readers have said that they feel they get the “real skinny” from unabashed St. John’s loyalists, and that the UUN has a credibility that official CSB/SJU publications and announcements don’t always have. We can live with that, even if the professor and others up at SJU can’t.
GO JOHNNIES!
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Here is another anonymous comment/opinion from a loyal, die-hard, but questioning Johnnie supporter:
Football at SJU and the MIAC might be at a crossroad. SJU may have to look at the entire coaching staff. It probably should have 100 players at most. The football team is just too large to properly coach. May have an admissions impact but SJU will have to figure out how to deal with it. MIAC is not a competitive conference for football. Four of five teams will never make it to the top. Not sure what the solution might be.
(Editor’s Comment: This is exactly the kind of statement that the team and the administration would not like to appear in print. It’s the author’s opinion and many may not agree. It also may not be true. And that’s okay. I protected the anonymity of the contributor for obvious reasons, so that unpopular opinions might be given the bright light of day. This doesn’t mean he or others don’t love St. John’s and admire the players who represent us.)
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Senior tight end #8 Alex Larson jumps up to receive one of his TDs against St. Scholastica; note the Saints safety’s jersey grab (Photo by Graham Miller).
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St. Scholastica Game Summary/Box Score —
Recap and Box Score
No. 18 SJU Rebounds With 62-7 Win Over St. Scholastica
Cinematic Recap: St. John's vs St. Scholastica
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOc9v40wkx4 (1:39 min.)
Raters not impressed by big win over Saints
https://gojohnnies.com/news/2023/10/30/sju-slips-to-nos-19-and-21-in-national-football-polls.aspx
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Junior receiver #1 Marselio Mendez was one of three Saint John's receivers who caught two touchdown passes Oct. 28 vs. St. Scholastica (image courtesy of Graham Miller).
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This Issue’s Tommie Quickie —
(With thanks to Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ)
Q: What do you do if a Tommie throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
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Fetch A Nice Price —
A graduate of St. Olaf living in the Cities was thrilled to learn that Antiques Roadshow was coming to St. Paul. Entering the lottery to bring a valuable item to be examined by the experts and maybe get on the show itself, she was very excited to learn she was getting a ticket for the day’s filming down at the Civic Auditorium.
Wondering what to bring, she thought of an old stuffed dog she found at an estate sale in Northfield when she was a senior. She had no idea of its worth but it was a conversation piece in her apartment living room.
So she took the stuffed dog to the show and was told by one of the experts, "This is extremely rare. Do you know what it would fetch in good condition?"
"I dunno," the Lady Ole said. "A stick?"
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Thoughts From Boz —
I write today not as a professor at Saint Ben’s and Saint John’s, but as an SJU alum and a supporter of the best student-athletes around. For several years I enjoyed your newsletter. You are a great writer who packs a lot of information and a bunch of laughs into each piece. At your request, I even served as a guest columnist for a period of time. Unfortunately, I unsubscribed to your newsletter years ago due to the way some fair-weather fanatics react after a Johnnie loss. A friend sent me a copy of this past week’s newsletter and suggested I read it.
In the newsletter, I see our players described as untalented, lazy, pathetic dumb-asses. It’s unfortunate that you chose to publish the words of those fanatics, for parents and others to read, without disclosing their identities. If their words deserve to be printed, we deserve to know who they are, so that we understand the identifies of those who are happy to kick others when they are down.
I have met some of these fanatics over the years. What is interesting is that those who make these comments were very rarely good athletes when they attended Saint John’s. They live vicariously through current student athletes and feel better about their own lives when they insult others. It’s grade school kind of stuff.
Your readers should know that these negative comments are only the opinions of a select few fanatics. I was glad to see you share the opinion of Patrick Tomczik who elegantly wrote: “Please remember that we are cheering on and for 18-, 19-, 20- and 21-year-old young fellows, who are playing as hard as they can to win a game for their school, family, friends and themselves. On the other side of the field, there are a bunch of 18-, 19-, 20- and 21-year-old fellows who are playing as hard as they can to win a game for their school, family, friends and themselves. Let us not blame them for how and what the coaches are doing, or how and what the coaches are not doing well.”
I found it interesting to learn in your newsletter that Patrick is not a Johnnie. I would gladly trade some of the fanatics for Patrick.
Are our players untalented, lazy, pathetic, dumb asses? I was a starter on one of Gagliardi’s most successful teams, and I couldn’t carry the jocks of our current players. Many Johnnies who played in previous eras couldn’t either. We weren’t as talented and didn’t work nearly as hard, on or off the field. That is not at all to discount our efforts—we did the best we could with what we knew and the resources we had at the time. The quality of play and competition is simply much greater now than it used to be. Especially with Saint Thomas out of the MIAC, the “Johnnie game” is the Super Bowl for all opposing teams.
The year-round training that our players do, the amount of film they watch, their success in the classroom, and how they carry themselves in the community is at a higher level than it has ever been. Those of us who came before paved the way and current players are taking it to a new level. Current players sacrifice much more than we did. A number of them celebrated their win this past Saturday as they usually do—not by getting plowed in Saint Joe, but by grabbing dinner and then gathering together to watch film of the game to learn how to improve.
When the Johnnies don’t play well, I don’t feel badly for the fanatic who had to fork over a whole $15 for a game ticket or link to a video stream and thus feels entitled to say whatever they want. I feel badly for the players and coaches who put in hundreds of hours in an effort to be the best. Sometimes, they fall short. That’s life. But the lessons they learn along the way are second to none. I hope they take note of who stands with them in their moments of defeat.
To the vast, vast majority of your readers who are good and supportive people, thank you. YOU are what makes our schools special.
I won’t hide behind an anonymous email. I request that you print this in full, along with my contact information. I’d be delighted to chat further with anyone.
Best,
Boz “Defender of the Dumb Asses” Bostrom, SJU ‘95
bbostrom@csbsju.edu, 612-414-9629
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More Scenes From Stearns County, Historical Files —
In the summer of 1971 Father Otto Reifenrath, OSB was sent from the Abbey to conduct weekend services at Saint James Church in Jacobs Prairie while the priest assigned to the parish, Father Joseph Vill, recovered from an illness.
Father Otto was late and riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time.
Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground. Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, Father Otto called out, “All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!”
With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse’s back—and fell off the other side.
From the ground again, Otto called out, “All right, just half of you angels this time!”
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Hansen 2023 D-III Football Resume Rankings
https://hansenratings.github.io/2023%20Resume%20Rankings.html
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Drunk and Disorderly Oles —
Three St. Olaf students appear in the Northfield Municipal Count on charges of drunk and disorderly conduct in the public park near downtown. The judge asks the first defendant, “What were you doing?”
“Oh, just throwing peanuts in the Cannon River.”
The judge asks the second Ole, “And what were you doing?”
“I was throwing peanuts in the river, too.”
“Sounds harmless,” says the judge. He turns to the third Ole, “And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?”
“No, sir. I AM Peanuts!”
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About St. Olaf College —
St. Olaf College is a private liberals arts college in Northfield, Minnesota. It was founded in 1874 by a group of Norwegian-American pastors and farmers. The college is named after the King and the Patron Saint Olaf II of Norway and is affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.
As proof of its Norwegian heritage, the college has hosted visits from Norwegian royalty three times: It was visited by King Olav in 1987 and King Harald V and Queen Sonja of Norway in 2011. Queen Sonja visited the college's campus a second time in 2022 as part of a tour to celebrate the connections between Norway and Minnesota's Norwegian-American community.
Known as “The Hill”, St. Olaf College's picturesque 300-acre campus is home to 17 academic and administrative buildings, 29 student residences and 10 athletic facilities. As of 2017, the college enrolled 3,035 undergraduate students and 256 faculty. The campus, including its 325-acre natural lands, lies two miles west of downtown; Northfield is also the home of its neighbor and friendly rival Carleton College. Between 1995 and 2020, 154 St. Olaf graduates were named Fulbright Scholars and 35 received Goldwater Scholarships.
St. Olaf is a residential college; 96% of St. Olaf students reside in one of the 11 residence halls and 18 academic and special interest group houses. Adjacent to campus are 325 acres of restored wetlands, woodlands, and native tall grass prairie owned and maintained by St. Olaf, and a utility-grade wind turbine that supplies up to one-third of the college's electrical needs.
Two buildings on the campus are listed on the National Register of Historic Places: Old Main; and Steensland Library. In 2011, Travel+Leisure magazine named St. Olaf one of the most beautiful college campuses in the United States.
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St. Olaf Football —
St. Olaf’s team is a sleeper. It has a 4-4 overall record with 3-3 in the MIAC. However, they’ve suffered two losses by a total of just three points; meaning they easily could have been 6-2 overall and 5-1 in the conference. And in those games they (and their opposition) scored a lot of points. The only time this year they have been really out-classed was in their loss to Augsburg 56-36, otherwise the Oles lost to Carleton 33-31 and Gustavus 41-40.
In examining Ryan Klinkner’s ’04 Game Notes for St. Olaf on gojohnnies.com, we see they are a close match to St. John’s in several categories. For instance, in “Scoring Offense” SJU is 1st in the MIAC, 27th in D-III, while St. Olaf is 3rd and 34th. For “Scoring Defense” SJU is 4th/106th, and STO is 6th/155th. “Total Offense” (and this was an eye-opener) St. Olaf is 1st in the MIAC, 18th nationally, while SJU is 3rd and 35th. “Total Defense” we are 3rd/93rd, and STO is 6th/186th.
We are a better team in both passing offense and defense, but the two teams are close. Rushing is another story: The Oles are 2nd and 68th while SJU is 8th/169th. Our rushing defense is better however, with us 3rd/53rd and STO 8th/143rd. And we have had twice as many sacks (22-10) as them.
What do we make of this? First, it might be a pretty high-scoring game, with both teams trying to establish a balanced attack. But I think the stats show that our defense could be pretty disruptive to their talented quarterback, 6’4”, 225 lbs junior #19 Theo Dolan, if he doesn’t get rid of the ball quickly. Also, we have a good chance for an interception or two. Joining Dolan in the backfield is the Oles’ primary running back, 5th year senior #9 Jordan Embry and we can expect him to get a lot of carries and do some damage on occasion. Passing targets are impressive too, beginning with senior tight end #80 Derek Hansen (who was named to the D3 team of the week for his play in the Gustavus loss), and main wide receivers sophomore #7 Will Skemp, juniors #34 Siegel Howard III and #84 Evan Hammonds (all 5’5” of him), and 5th-year senior #2 Payton Schott. Kick/punt returner to watch is junior #15 Devin McNearny. The Ole line may be one of the bigger we’ve faced.
On the defensive side, it seems that the Oles’ D-line is fairly stocky too but, as usual, the names we keep reading about are their linebacking crew including seniors #0 Ben Hestorff and #29 Luke Stampa, with junior #16 Tate Sauerwein and sophomore #11 Alijah Cruel filling in. (Sauerwein and Cruel— two more pretty good names for linebackers, but tough to beat our own Jake Schwinghammer.) Two seniors also are the leading defensive backs: #8 Deonta Thomas and #10 Jacob Halek.
The Oles have a smallish squad, only 89 listed. Besides their larger two lines and quarterback, the rest all seem to be fairly small, but speedy guys. They are mostly from Minnesota and a handful from western Wisconsin, with several each from Colorado, California and Florida. The team is about 40% BIPOC. Their coach, James Kilian, is in his 7th season and has a 27-31 record. Before coming to St. Olaf Kilian was Offensive Coordinator at St. Thomas and before that at Carleton, also as OC.
A final word about that Gustavus loss: Saint Olaf lost on a failed two-point conversion, but the Oles out-gained the Gusties by a 459 to 380 margin. Doran had his fourth straight 300-yard passing day, while Embry turned up his seventh 100-yard running game. Should the Johnnies be concerned, especially after the buzzsaw of Gustavus against us? We’d better be. It’s going to be a good game and I urge the Johnnie Nation to come down to support our lads—loudly. Just bring a blanket and wear long johns and thick socks, hat, gloves, etc. Weather is supposed to be cloudy, in the high 40s and not very windy, always a blessing. By examining records, strength of schedule and stats, SJU should win something like 42 to 21. However, the like was thought to be the case against Gustavus too. Which St. John’s team will show up against the Oles?
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Pre-Game Gathering at Reunion —
Alums, parents and friends are invited to a pre-game social before the St. John’s - St. Olaf football game this Saturday. (The game begins at 1 pm at St. Olaf’s Manitou Stadium.)
Thanks to Greg Heymans '84, SJU fans have the upstairs bar at Reunion reserved beginning at 10:30 am. Food and beverages will be available for purchase. No RSVP required.
Northfield Event Details
Date: Saturday, November 4
Time: 10:30 am to 1pm
Location: Reunion - 501 Division Street South, Northfield, MN
https://reunioneatdrinkgather.com/
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St. Olaf Co-Ed Dorm —
St. Olaf College remodeled one of its single sex dorms to now be co-ed, with men and women rooming on alternating floors. To assuage the misgivings of some female students and their parents, the administration designated the female floors to be OFF LIMITS to all males after 9 pm on weekdays and 11 pm on Friday and Saturday nights.
The school gathered all the male residents of the new dorm to explain this strict policy to them. The Dean of Students, in no uncertain terms, said, "The female floors will be out-of-bounds for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $150 for the first time."
The dean continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $250. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $700. Are there any questions?"
At this point, one of the Ole football defensive players stood up and asked, "Dean, how much for a season pass?"
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MIAC Standings —
Division Record Overall
Northwoods Division
Gustavus 3-0 5-3
Saint John’s 2-1 6-2
Carleton 2-1 6-2
Saint Olaf 1-2 4-4
St. Scholastica 0-4 2-6
Skyline Division
Bethel 3-0 6-2
Concordia 3-0 5-3
Augsburg 1-2 5-3
Hamline 1-3 3-5
Macalester 0-3 2-6
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Football Schedule —
(All game 1 p.m.)
Sep. 2 Trinity (TX) Collegeville W 34-31
Sep. 9 UW-Whitewater Whitewater, WI L 56-28
Sep. 16 Bye — —
Sep. 23 Bethel Collegeville W 27-7
Sep. 30 Augsburg Minneapolis W 27-24
Oct. 7 Concordia Collegeville W 42-23
Oct. 14 Carleton Collegeville W 63-7
Oct. 21 Gustavus St. Peter L 38-35
Oct. 28 St. Scholastica Collegeville W 62-7
Nov. 4 St. Olaf Northfield
Nov. 11 MIAC Champ TBD
https://gojohnnies.com/sports/football/schedule
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, Mike Carr ’77, and Charlie Carr ’03 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 26th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet (660wbhr.com).
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Listening via the Internet: https://www.660wbhr.com/wbhr-st-johns-sports
Viewing via live streaming: https://www.stolaf.edu/multimedia/play/?e=4345 (No charge.)
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Battle Between The Sexes, Parental Approval —
Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.
Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
"No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ol' Mother?"
Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again.
"So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet; one that's just like your Mother?"
Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends."
"Excellent!!! So, ... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?"
"I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"
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Junior defensive lineman #97 Zach Frank is shown milliseconds prior to leveling the St. Scholastic quarterback (Photo by Jason Wachter / For ST. CLOUD LIVE).
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Around The MIAC —
Week 9 Results — October 28
Concordia at Augsburg — (Although I’m pulling for the Cobbers, reality says the Auggies will prevail.) Hot Dog! The Cobbers really laid one on the Auggies, leaving the Cities with a 30-10 win.
Bethel at Carleton — (The Knights might not get beat as badly as by St. John’s, but they’ll still get beat bad enough.) If 40-0 constitutes getting beat badly, that’s what happened to once high-flying Carleton.)
Gustavus at St. Olaf — (Should be a pretty one-sided win for the Gusties.) What a thriller in Northfield: The Oles lost by just a point, 41-40—if only.…)
Macalester at Hamline — (In this exciting “Battle for the Skyline Bottom” I’m pulling for Hamline to survive as victor.) Hooray for the Pipers, no longer the worst in the MIAC by beating Mac 38 to 27.
St. Scholastica at St. John’s — (Whoever cares, raise your hands…other than 3rd and 4th stringers and their parents, that is…) I guess SJU showed restraint, beating the Saints by one point less than the 63 they scored against Carleton.)
Other Games of Interest —
Marist at St. Thomas — (This will be a tighter game than last week against Stetson, but one the Tommies should win going away at home.) The Tommies rolled over Marist 49-14 and Glenn is happy once again.
UW-Platteville at #5 UW-Whitewater— (Platteville’s not a bad team but they don’t stand a chance against the Warhawks.) And that’s what occurred: Warhawks 45- Pioneers 23.
#7 UW-River Falls at UW-Stout — (Stout should give River Falls a good, tough game, but in the end it won’t be enough.) UW-RF came to play and emerged 49-35 victors.
#23 Mary Hardin-Baylor at #20 Hardin-Simmons — (Now, THAT’s going to be a battle! But, like SJU, they’re both so far down in the Top 25 that it really won’t matter much in the standings. I have no idea who will win this one, but UMHB could have a bit more in the end.) It’s all she wrote for the Crusaders as Hardin-Simmons slammed their dreams shut 24-14. No doubt the Cru will be off the Top 25 altogether.
Central at #3 Wartburg — (Wartburg should pull it out but it will be tougher than they think.) The Warthogs prevailed, but they really had to earn it 24-14, one of their closest contests this season.
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Upcoming Games, Week 10 — November 4
Hamline at St. Scholastica — (The Pipers are on a roll…can they continue against the lowly Saints? Yes, yes indeed.)
Concordia at Bethel — (A couple weeks ago I’d say the Cobbers were toast against the Royals but now I’m not so sure…maybe just stale bread.)
Augsburg at Macalester — (You just know the chastened Auggies will over-react against the Mac Patsies…first to score 80 this year?)
Carleton at Gustavus — (Coming from nowhere, the Gusties are now a con-ten-dah…and Carleton is dust in the wind.)
St. John’s at St. Olaf — (As has been suggested, the Jays aren’t playing well on the road. That said, the Oles don’t stand a chance…maybe. Gustavus didn’t either and we all know what happened there.)
Other Games of Interest —
St. Thomas at San Diego — (Should be three routs in a row for the late-starting Toms.)
#4 UW-La Crosse at #7 UW-River Falls — (Gonna be a barn-burner…hard to bet against the Falcons at home; on the other hand, Eagles are bigger birds…)
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Pre-Nuptial Pay-Off —
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer.
“Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor, and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He slipped the priest the cash and walked away.
The wedding day arrived. When it came time for the groom’s vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said, “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”
The groom gulped and looked around and then said in a tiny voice, “I do.”
After the ceremony, the groom pulled the priest aside and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.”
The priest slipped the $100 back into the man’s hand and whispered, “The bride’s father made me a much better offer.”
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2023 D3football.com Week 9 Top 25 —
Hey! The D3 polling board is disrespecting us. Despite a solid win over St. Scholastica, SJU dropped a point from #18 to #19. The same thing happened to Muhlenberg (now #22) after losing to Johns Hopkins in a remarkable play, who stayed the same at #8. In fact, with the exception of us, the 1st through 20th schools remained the same as the prior week. #20 Hardin-Simmons didn’t move after defeating Mary Hardin-Baylor who dropped out. HSU got no respect either.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2023/week9
Crazy Play of the Week —
Johns Hopkins beats Muhlenberg 34-28 after their last-minute field goal attempt is blocked by the Mules, but then picked up by a JHU player who runs it in for the winning TD:
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Odds & Ends —
Deceased Sister of St. Benedict’s Monastery considered for steps to canonization
A letter from Bishop Andrew Cozzens of the Crookston Diocese released Oct. 15 announced that preliminary steps are being taken that could lead to opening a cause for the canonization of Sister Annella Zervas, OSB.
Zervas died at the age of 26 in 1926 in her family home in Moorhead, Minnesota, after a debilitating and painful skin disease. Part of this story is suitable for Halloween week:
The grave site of Sister Annella Zervas, OSB, at the Saint Benedict Monastery cemetery in St. Joseph, Minnesota. Around 150 people gathered for an event where a letter was read from the local bishop about steps being taken to look into opening a cause for S. Annella. Oct. 15, 2023 (Photo by Patti Armstrong).
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Bethel’s Football Coach, Steve Johnson, is Retiring
After 34 seasons heading Bethel’s football program, head coach Steve Johnson announced he will retire at the end of the 2023 season. A 1979 graduate of Bethel, Johnson took over the reins of the program in 1989 and since then has produced 250 career wins where he is currently the all-time wins leader among active Division III coaches. Johnson sits at 29th for all-time wins across all NCAA divisions. With 29 winnings seasons in a row, he guided the Royals to 11 NCAA Playoff appearances, two Final Four appearances, four Elite Eight appearances and five MIAC Championships.
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CSB Volleball clinches second in MIAC
With a 9-1 record, CSB has clinched second place and a first-round bye in the MIAC Tournament. CSB will host a MIAC Playoffs semifinal matchup against the winner of the 3/6 seeded teams on Thursday, Nov. 9 at Claire Lynch Hall. The MIAC Playoffs open with first round games on Monday, Nov. 6 (hosted by higher seed) with the semifinals on Thursday, Nov. 9 (hosted by highest seeds) and the championship set for Saturday, Nov. 11 at the home site of the highest remaining seed in the tournament. The Bennies have earned a second place finish for the fourth time in the past six years. Of note, CSB was also listed in the first NCAA DIII Region IX rankings on Oct. 22.
For the third straight week in the AVCA/TARAFLEX national poll (Oct. 31), CSB has received votes, accumulating 20 on Oct. 25. Also in the MIAC, Gustavus Adolphus (22-6) is ranked No. 19 (611 points). Juniata (25-0, 2,144 points) is ranked No. 1 with UW-Oshkosh (29-0), No. 2, and Northwestern (23-3), third.
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Christmas is Coming…to St. John’s Campus, and then the Basilica —
Christmas with Saint Ben's & Saint John’s:
— Great Hall, Saint John’s Campus - 7:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 1 and 2:00 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 2
— The Basilica of Saint Mary, Minneapolis.
Saturday, December 2, 2023 at 8:00 PM
Order your tickets and select your seats here:
https://bene-internet.choicecrm.net/ChoiceCRM.NET/templates/BENE/?cts_legacy_app
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Save the date of Wednesday, Nov. 15, for Give SJU Day!
On Nov. 15, your Student Fund scholarship gift is matched by generous classmates. You can set up your own match as well! Consider a per-donor match just for your class.
Powered by the SJU Alumni Association, Give SJU Day is the biggest day of giving in support of today’s Johnnies. Every gift helps another promising student call Saint John's home.
For more information on establishing a match or on Give SJU Day in general, please contact Ted Kain ’12, Director of Annual Giving, at tkain@csbsju.edu.
Go here to donate early: https://www.givecampus.com/schools/SaintJohnsUniversity/give-sju-day-2023
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Keep Voting: Jimmy Buck for Allstate Good Works Team Captain
Will you readers take a couple of seconds each day until November 22 to "Vote for Jimmy Buck" via the following link until the captain of the Allstate Good Works Team is selected?
Here's the link: https://promo.espn.com/espn/contests/allstate/2023/index
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The Decluttering Course - Online course to organize your life!
In the 4-week Decluttering Course, Dana White will share actionable mindset shifts that will free you to make fast decluttering progress using minimal emotional energy. This course starts November 13. There is no charge and it’s open to all Bennies andJohnnies and their friends:
Register here: https://alumlc.thinkific.com/courses/decluttering-CSBSJU
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Senior Blake Schuler of the SJU Golf Team shows us the way forward (photo by Graham Miller).
Johnnies Move Up to No. 7 in Latest National Poll
Saint John's golf moved up five spots to No. 7 in today's (Oct. 27) Bushnell/Golfweek Division III Coaches' Top 25 poll.
Methodist (N.C.) received six of the 12 first-place votes and 294 points to claim the top spot from No. 2 Emory (Ga.), which picked up the other six first-place votes and 292 points. Carnegie Mellon (Pa.) and Illinois Wesleyan tied at No. 3 with 257 points, and Oglethorpe (Ga.) was fifth at 233. Claremont-Mudd-Scripps (Calif.) was sixth (230) and SJU followed in seventh (199), one point ahead of Lynchburg (Va.) in eighth (198). Bethel fell one spot to No. 14 and Gustavus Adolphus received votes.
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SJU Hockey's 2023-24 seniors (L to R): Lewis Crosby, Jack Olsen, Charlie Weick, Max Borst and Jaeger Reed (Photo by Paul Middlestaedt).
SJU Hosts UW-River Falls Saturday for Season Opener & Senior Night
https://gojohnnies.com/sports/mens-ice-hockey/schedule
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From Fr. Don’s Daily Reflection —
Faithful Departed, November 2
The second of November is a Christian Memorial Day; we remember the dead. No matter how we look on it, this day reminds us of them and death. Unlike a fairly recent period in Christian history, we do not think primarily of the deceased as undergoing the pains of purgatory, away from the presence of God. Because of renewed attention to Scripture we are more inclined to trust that God has forgiven and taken to God’s loving arms those who, though imperfect, put their confidence in God's love.
With St. Paul in Romans we say: “If God is for us, who can be against us? Is it possible that He who did not spare His own Son but handed Him over for the sake of us all will not grant us all things besides? . . . I am certain that neither death nor life, neither the present nor the future, will be able to separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:31-39).
It honors the love God has for us and lives up to the trust God asks if we confide the deceased to God's loving care. It further honors that love if we ourselves live in trust and confidence in God's forgiveness and love. Recalling those gone before us can arouse our thanksgiving for all they meant to us. Recalling that they have left our world urges us to live generously this short but precious life.
(Editor’s Note: Having lost a number of classmates, and other Johnnie friends both younger and older than me this year, I’m thinking of these souls and others before them quite a bit this November. Along with Fr. Don’s thoughtful, consoling words, I came across this quote from St. Faustina Kowalska, a Polish nun and mystic who died in the 1930s at the age of 33. At the advice of her confessor, she began her now famous diary, in which she attributed these words to Jesus: “Encourage souls to place great trust in My fathomless mercy. Let the weak, sinful soul have no fear to approach Me, for even if it had more sins than there are grains of sand in the world it will be drowned in the immeasurable depths of My mercy.” Certainly words to live, hope — and die by.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faustina_Kowalska
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From Our Readers —
From Joe Engleson ’74, somewhere in Florida —
Bob, Joe Engleson, class of 74 here. I’m writing on behalf of my father, Jerry Engleson, class of 52. We’re sitting here reading the newsletter and especially enjoying the jokes, and Dad has asked me to subscribe to receive his own copy. He used to get it, but we moved him to Florida to be near us and his old email address no longer exists. Would you add him to the subscribers list for us? He’s 95 and doing well. Thanks, Bob! — Joe
(Editor’s Observation: Never too old to enjoy the UUN. People can sign up at www.unofficialundergroundnews.com )
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From Paul Hamann ’63, Edina, MN —
Yes it [Gustavus game] was disappointing. But I've been saying for decades when SJU loses in football it brings joy to another team and campus. There was euphoria in St. Peter last Saturday. It's very Benedictine of us!!
Please encourage the readers to show up for the championship weekend game no matter where it is. Let's show appreciation for a number of outstanding seasons by this Senior class and encouragement for the underclassmen.
Another thought. Earlier this year Pat Reusse had a column suggesting the Auggies and Gusties might be ready to compete in the MIAC. Maybe he was right. I'm not the Uncasual Fan or the Whisperer but I've been following Johnnie football since 1959. I thought the skilled players from Augsburg and Gustavus looked mighty quick, fast and agile. Why not assume their linemen exhibit some of the same qualities. Perhaps parity is coming/has arrived in the MIAC. We admire it in the WIAC. — Paul
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Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon —
10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.
9. The pews have camper hookups.
8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.
7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.
6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.
5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.
4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.
3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.
2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a two-foot hour-glass.
And the number one sign you are in for a long sermon...
1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the Super Bowl" but it's only September!
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The Big Red taking the field earlier this season (Photo by Trevor ? [Sorry]).
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
Truth About Protein and Why You Need It For More Longevity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZT9t4_n4p8 (14:38 min.)
From Jason Good '06 after he watched this video: "You need it because protein is muscle and you need to hang onto that muscle as long as you can. My 77-year-old gym buddy last week in the locker room said he has a motto -- "Don't let the old man in!" Resistance training and protein consumption are two huge inputs to not letting the old man in!"
Music video by Toby Keith: "Don't Let The Old Man In" — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc5AWImplfE (2:53 min.)
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Pre-Med Entrance Exam —
When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School. One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters "PNEIS" into the “name of an important male body part that is most useful when erect."
I bet you know this; now think on this real hard, there are only two completely different male body parts composed of these five letters...Only one answer is correct.
Those who answered "spine" are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes into the UUN.
(Contributed by Bob Malby '64, Edina, MN)
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The Final Word —
Divine Inspiration
A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.
When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will riffle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for his advice.
The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages riffle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
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You’ve reached the end of not only this issue, but to the introduction of the final game of the regular season this Saturday down in Northfield. St. Olaf is a nice venue in a charming city with weather predicted to be in the high 40s, cloudy with little wind. Wrap up, bring a blanket, and come dow to support our Jays by Um-Yah-Yahing the Oles with:
Lena on da Oles…
(Or something like dat.)
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Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697
Website: https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com/
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