That’s more like it… UUN #11-23
(This season of the Unofficial Underground News is being brought to you by the 1976 National Championship Team. We thank this year’s sponsors for underwriting our new production/mailing costs.)
Dear Generally Faithful Fans —
Last Saturday was yet another highlight for this season. Our Johnnies, backs against the wall as far as staying in the running for a playoff bid, came through in one of the most complete games of the year. Plastering lowly St. Scholastica was one thing, but shutting down the creative and potent offense of St Olaf was quite another. Although we scored 49 points in our dominating victory, what was as impressive, and perhaps even more important in the long run, was shutting down the Oles to only 10 points. Hats off to our Defense. They are gelling together, showing great results in consecutive games.
It didn’t alway look like that would be the result. The Johnnies ripped off three touchdowns for a great start in the first quarter. Then St. Olaf responded with an impressive march to make it 21-7. The next time they received the ball the Oles came right back up the field again, looking like the score would soon be 21-14 and a brand new ball game…shades of Gustavus began creeping into the minds of some fans. But then—bam!—a crucial interception and a gutsy, stirring 25-yard run return by senior linebacker #49 Erik Bjork stopped the threat, fired up the team, and literally turned the tide of the game. You can see that play in the game highlights video below. It was all downward for the Oles from then on.
Watching the contest at Klein Field at Manitou Stadium was a more pleasant experience than we sometimes get for November games in Minnesota; the temp was in the high 40ºs with little wind and a sunny sky. Those with blankets and/or heavier coats were quite comfortable. Of course, jumping up after seven touchdowns serves to warm one up. The official attendance was listed at 564, which seemed low to me, but if true, then probably 300+ were Johnnie fans, outnumbering the Um-Yah-Yah folks.
Before the game a pretty good crowd of Johnnies and player parents convened at the classy Reunion restaurant in downtown Northfield, where they were greeted by part-owner Greg Heymans ’84 in the upstairs private bar prior to moving downstairs to the restaurant area for lunch. Many regulars were there but others—including some parents and family—came a long way to join in the fun. Below, in a photo by John Sipe ’61/’65, are pictured Jona (Turner) CSB ’92, Bryan II and Bryan, Sr. Van Deun of Omaha, NE. Jona and Bryan II’s son, Barrett, is a freshman football center for SJU. Jona is a member of the combined boards of both the College of Saint Benedict and Saint John’s University. Jona and Bryan said they made the drive up from Omaha in about five hours, starting very early that morning.
St. Olaf Game Summary/Box Score —
Recap and Box Score
Quick Start Carries SJU to 49-10 Win at St. Olaf
Cinematic Recap: St. John's defeats St. Olaf 49-10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqFXQ8phAv4 (1:38 min.)
Johnnies improve to 7-2 with 49-10 win at St. Olaf, but miss out on Northwoods Division crown
St. John's football team falls to No. 20 in D3football.com poll
SJU players junior LB #46 Ben Dahl, freshman LB #33 Tate Link, and senior LB #10 Mateo Cisneros celebrate with senior linebacker #49 Erik Bjork after his momentum-changing interception against St. Olaf. (Photo by Libby Auger for St. Cloud LIVE.)
Cobber Job Interview —
A recent graduate of Concordia College was seeking his first big job at a large corporation. During the interview, the company official asked him if he could perform under pressure.
The Cobber replied, “No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Senior running back #9 Troy Feddema hurdles St. Olaf defensive back Jacob Halek during their MIAC football game last Saturday in Northfield. (Photo by Libby Auger for St. Cloud LIVE.)
Freshman defensive back #8 Peyton Goettlicher comes up with an interception in front of St. Olaf wide receiver Devin McNearny. (Photo by Libby Auger for St. Cloud LIVE.)
Three Garrison Keillor Quickies —
1. Lena went to the doctor because her hearing is so poor. He looks in her ear and finds a suppository stuck in it.
“Well,” she says, “I guess dat explains what happened to my hearing aid.”
The doctor asks if she wants him to look and she says, “Let me tink about it.”
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2. Lena reminded Ole that her birthday is coming up and he says, “I know, what would you like? A diamond ring?”
No, she says.
“A trip to Mexico? A new car?” “No,” she says, and eventually she says, “I want a divorce.”
He thinks and says, “Well, I wasn’t planning on payin’ dat much.”
* *
A guy’s girlfriend called him up, crying, said, “I’ve lost my job, been evicted from my apartment, my car got totaled, and I’ve been diagnosed as bipolar and OCD. I can’t go on.”
The guy said, “Let me take you out dancing on Saturday.”
She said, “I’m killing myself on Saturday.”
He said, “How about Friday then?”
The Uncasual Fan—
Back to Back Statements
Date: November 4 Vs St. Olaf at Northfield
Okay – so two weeks ago we took on an undefeated Carleton and thumped them 63-7 and it could have easily been 100-7. Nobody thought it would be that easy, especially since they did beat St. Olaf, but the Carleton game was almost over before it barely got started.
So Bring on the Oles. The “Dark Faithful” – (see “Dark Faithful” definition below) were almost working themselves into a frenzy thinking that maybe another Gustavus game was on the horizon if we were not careful. Were we going to start slow? Were we going to lack intensity? Was the defense going to show up? What about the penalties? Yada, yada, yada.
Dark Faithful – Fans who are calling for changes after two losses and tend to focus on all the negative things versus the positive things we see happening almost every game season after season.
A beautiful November fall day for a game. Anyway, we started fast, did not give them get a chance to breathe and played a complete game. Sometimes things just fall into place for a couple of games. This one was over after the first drive in the 2nd half and maybe even before then.
SJU 49 - St. Olaf 10
Game Summary – The good, the Bad and the Ugly
Game summary: Sometimes things just fall into place and everything you practice and have worked on since last spring just clicks and comes to fruition. It is great when that happens and it tends to happen a little more against teams that may have less talent or may not be as deep as you are.
The Good
· Great start, Great middle, and good finish
The Bad
· Not much that I could see.
The Ugly
· Nothing
Playoffs – Did some say Playoffs. My perspective is simple. Control what you can control and take care of business this week otherwise the point is mute. It will be better if we take care of business with a solid game and a 20+ point win. No matter what, the committee will choose who they choose and sometimes the logic of their choices escapes all of us. I think Boz has a nice perspective on it on his Facebook page. What I can say is that should SJU win this week and get invited there are not many teams that will be excited to have to play us and I am personally excited about that.
The weather looks respectable for a Mid-November football game up at Concordia.
Go Johnnies! — The Uncasual Fan
Battle Between the Sexes, Competition in Marriage Department —
(Compliments Chris Kennedy, Chicago, IL)
A long-married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’
His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’ The old man replied, “Its fart football.”
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score…”
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.”
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”
Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, “What the heck was that?”
The old man says, “Half time, switch sides.”
Hansen 2023 D-III Football Resume Rankings
https://hansenratings.github.io/2023%20Resume%20Rankings.html
Cobber Road Test —
A young Concordia student was taking the driving portion of her driver's license exam.
She handled most of the maneuvers quite well. However, she had a little trouble parallel parking and wound up a couple of feet from the curb.
"Could you get a little closer?" the examiner asked.
The Cobber then unbuckled her seat belt and slid over toward the examiner.
"Now what?” she asked.
Concordia Football —
Since we last played Concordia in Collegeville on October 7—and beat them pretty decisively by 42-23—the Cobbers won their next three games: over Hamline 58-14; over Macalester 49-8; and a surprisingly solid win over Augsburg 30-10. Although it was a long shot to hope for their victory over Bethel, it certainly wasn’t impossible. However, last week, at Bethel, the Cobs were bested 31-14. For the season Concordia is now 5-4 overall, 4-3 in the conference.
Without sounding over-confident for our chances, this coming game should mean that Concordia will end the season at 5-5, 4-4 MIAC. I’m sure that record is a disappointment to coach Terry Horan, his players, and the Concordia fans, particularly given that they narrowly lost two games in a heartbreakingly close manner…a 7-3 record sure sounds better than 5-5.
I looked back a few issues to see what was written about the Concordia personnel prior to our first game. Nothing much has changed, so here it is again:
Overall, on both sides of the ball, the Cobbers are more of a veteran team, much like SJU. The Offense centers around junior quarterback # 11 Cooper Mattern, who went to Fargo Shanley High, began at St. John’s, and then transferred back to Concordia. He has a bevy of wide receivers to toss to, but it seems most TD damage is done with senior #84 Dawson Schaffer. Mattern throws to a lot of different receivers though: senior #5 Ben Blancas; senior #6 Joey Headrick; junior #8 Owen Miller; and two sophomores #7 Jed Klang and #85 Eric Cockhill. It seems they throw a lot more than they run (again like us) but they have some young running backs to pound out short yardage when needed, including sophomores #27 Conlin Conteh and human bowling ball #26 Zavier Carroll at 5’9”, 225 lbs. We have to mention that it seems the biggest running threat is Mattern himself. The Cobbers also are blessed with a very accurate kicker, junior #30 Damien Silus. The O-line has a few 300+ pounders (including a number of freshmen) but otherwise doesn’t seem extraordinarily huge.
Defensively, other than sophomore D-lineman #99 Collin Thompson, most damage comes from the arms of their extensive linebacking crew and a few talented D-backs. Number one linebacker must be senior #45 PJ Parmalee, assisted by seniors #1 Quinn Miller and #10 Ty Moser. There are three or four other linebackers who will see action. The most active D-back is junior #24 Stuart DeMerit.
Outlook for Saturday? Our coaches and players know what is riding on a strong showing— they must look like winners to the committee deciding on the four at-large invites to fill out the D-III playoffs. As the Uncasual Fan said earlier in this newsletter, we must take care of our own business and let the Playoff Committee do their job and hope for the best…
This is just me thinking, but it’s doubtful that Coach Horan and his aides will be able to fire up his team as well as they did in our first game and so, if we continue to play to our potential, avoiding our own letdown/over-confidence and curtailing so many 15-yard penalties, we should be able to improve on our first game’s score. One little factoid that Gary Fasching mentioned in his post-St. Olaf game comments is that we will be permitted to bring up 75 players instead of the normal 60. That could mean that we’ll see more seldom-used players in the game.
Tailgate at Concordia —
Alums, parents and friends are invited to the tailgate before the St. John’s - Concordia football game this Saturday. (The game begins at 1 pm at Concordia’s Jake Christiansen Stadium, aka “The Jake”.)
Staff Information, Cobber Style —
The Concordia human resources office sent an email requesting a listing of the college’s Athletic Department staff broken down by age and sex.
The Department Assistant sent this reply:
"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
MIAC Standings —
| Northwoods Division | Division Record | Overall |
|---|---|---|
| Gustavus | 4-0 | 6-3 |
| Saint John's | 3-1 | 7-2 |
| Carleton | 2-2 | 6-3 |
| Saint Olaf | 1-3 | 4-5 |
| Saint Scholastica | 0-4 | 2-7 |
| Skyline Division | Division Record | Overall |
|---|---|---|
| Bethel | 4-0 | 7-2 |
| Concordia | 3-1 | 5-4 |
| Augsburg | 2-2 | 6-3 |
| Hamline | 1-3 | 4-5 |
| Macalester | 0-4 | 2-7 |
Football Schedule —
(All games 1 p.m.)
Sep. 2 Trinity (TX) Collegeville W 34-31
Sep. 9 UW-Whitewater Whitewater, WI L 56-28
Sep. 16 Bye — —
Sep. 23 Bethel Collegeville W 27-7
Sep. 30 Augsburg Minneapolis W 27-24
Oct. 7 Concordia Collegeville W 42-23
Oct. 14 Carleton Collegeville W 63-7
Oct. 21 Gustavus St. Peter L 38-35
Oct. 28 St. Scholastica Collegeville W 62-7
Nov. 4 St. Olaf Northfield W 49-10
Nov. 11 Concordia Moorhead
Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, Mike Carr ’77, and Charlie Carr ’03 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 26th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet (660wbhr.com).
Listening via the Internet: https://www.660wbhr.com/wbhr-st-johns-sports
Viewing via live streaming: https://miacsportsnetwork.com/concordia/?B=741746 (No charge.)
More Scenes From Stearns County —
One day a man passed by a farm outside St. Wendell and saw a beautiful horse that was owned by old Aloys Schoenbechler.
Hoping to buy the animal, he stopped his car and said to the farmer: "I think your horse looks pretty good, so I'll give you $500 for him."
"He don't look good, and he's not for sale," Aloys said.
The man insisted, "I think he looks good and I'll up the price to $1000!"
"He don't look so good," the farmer replied, "but if you want him dat much, he's yours."
The next day the man came back raging mad. He went up to the Aloys and screamed, "You sold me a blind horse! You cheated me!"
The farmer calmly replied, "I told you dat he didn't look so good, didn’t I?"
Reactions to the Last UUN —
From Larry Haeg ’63/’67, St. Paul, MN —
Johnnies’ SOS 5th best in all of D3. If we beat Concordia convincingly Saturday we deserve same chance Bethel’s been given last few years for at-large spot with their 8-2 records.
https://www.d3football.com/seasons/2023/schedule
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Opinion from d3football chat room last Monday, forwarded by Bob Neis, ’65, St. Louis Park, MN —
As I see it tonight, only 6 teams have a legit shot at the 4 Pool C bids after today (these are not necessarily ranked in order):
1. Whitewater - guaranteed at 9-1 with a massively strong SOS (plays a 2-7 team next week); 3-1 vs. Regionally Ranked Opponents
2. Union - win and they are in at 9-1 with a very strong SOS (although they play a tough 7-2 RPI next week) - lose and they are out of consideration; 1-1 vs. Regionally Ranked Opponents
3. Muhlenberg - should beat their 5-4 opponent and therefore stay ahead of both Wheaton & Coe with respect to SOS's (since Wheaton & Coe also play 5-4 teams); their SOS is a decent bit ahead of Wheaton's SOS and far ahead of Coe's; 0-1 vs. Regionally Ranked Opponents
4. Wheaton - should beat their 5-4 opponent and end 9-1; pretty solid SOS; bubble team; 1-1 vs. Regionally Ranked Opponents
5. Coe - should beat their 5-4 opponent and end 9-1; SOS is quite a bit lower than Wheaton's; very bubble team; 1-1 vs. Regionally Ranked Opponents
6. St. John's - the dark horse at 8-2 but a massive SOS and a couple of impressive wins; bubble team; 2-1 vs. Regionally Ranked Opponents
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From John Krueger ’70, Richmond,MN —
Wick, I just want to say this is one of your finest works. I appreciate your direct, thoughtful and honest assessment. There’s a reason that so many faithful Johnnies and associates hold your work in esteem. This is a terrific example of why —Thanks! — John
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From Nell Klein ’60, St. Cloud, MN —
Rob, your UUN was excellent this year! Very informative and lots of food for thought! I like the idea of limiting the numbers that go out for football. It almost disrespectful to say that! John Gagliardi loved the numbers that came out for football. When one was a senior John made him a captain as he thought it would really look good on a resume. It is hard to coach so many guys. However, it’s not up to me so I’ll just hope next year will be a typical Johnnie winning team!!
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From Jim Conn ’64, Alexandria, MN —
Rob/Bob - Visiting with you at the last couple of games (now a few weeks ago when I caught you yawning at the end of the Carlton game), you and Chris had characterized your UUN reporting as “a bit negative” or at least words to that effect.
With your most recent St. Scholastica edition now softly residing in the ether, I suspect you may get some rather toasty letters to the editor. I can admit to being a bit taken aback after the first read but soon gravitated to my Johnnie education reminding me that we all need facts to weigh both sides of each “equation.”
Over the years, I’ve become a softie regarding the Johnnie Football “Winning Tradition” so your perspective and challenge came at a good time for me. Your UUN edition was and is a great challenge and my hope is that all football Johnnies will be moved by your words in pursuit of ongoing program excellence.
Keep up the exceptional work on the UUN - and never take the easy road when it comes to reporting the facts as you see them. Well done, good Friend and Classmate! — Jim
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From Pete Hill ’76, Fernandina, Beach, FL —
Another great UUN, Rob/Bob! While it was disheartening to see SJU drop another notch in the polls, it should be noted that they are the only MIAC team and the only 7-2 team ranked in the top 25.
“Everyone who was quick to dismiss St. John’s as a playoff contender after their loss to Gustavus Adolphus may have left the party too soon. St. John’s has an excellent SOS and if they can hold on to their ranked wins versus Trinity (this feels very safe) and Bethel (which will require Bethel to win the MIAC championship), the Johnnies, incredibly look more likely than not to be in the field. How’s that for Johnnie Magic?”
The above D3 Football text is a regional playoff column. There are four open spots and with just one loss, Whitewater is going to get one of them for sure. Gustavus will have four loses if Bethel wins and no chance of consideration. We’ll see what happens.
I would have thought the NCAA regional rankings would have some positive effect on SJU’s D3 ranking, but it seems to have done the opposite; instead we fall again to #20! That stated, a lot of the teams ahead of us will get automatic playoff bids when they close out as their conference champs and some will be defeated in big rivalry games dropping them in the NCAA rankings which are the only ones that matter. We’ll see what happens… — Pete
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From Bob Malby ’64, Edina, MN —
Wick, I just now am getting into your UUN and have only gotten as far as Warren Bostrom’s letter. Wow! What a great message; so well stated. I first met Warren way back when he was a student at SJU and he interned in the Tax Department at Honeywell. What a guy!
Also, I didn’t know that you were incurring significant costs in putting out the UUN (other than the MANY hours that you invest putting it all together). I sure would be willing to chip in to dray some of your costs. Let me know what I can do to help.
I do so enjoy every single issue of your UUN; commentary, game summaries, game videos, jokes, description and history of opponent’s colleges, and your health rants. I sure hope that you are not planning to retire anytime soon. — Bob
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From Tom Bauer ‘’61/’65, Madison, WI —
Bob, thank you for the tremendous effort you put forth to publish the "everyday fan's" UUN. I hope all the readers understand that besides all of the research, compiling, and editing you do there is considerable time and expense getting to the many games you attend.
The last UUN seemed to have a more somber tone. The current feelings about this season are probably not like those many had in August. You gave some good reasons for this. I'm a fan from a distance (not knowing the program as well as you and hundreds of others do); here are some of my thoughts/reactions:
Competitiveness within a league may be good from a fan's perspective. It also may benefit teams if the parity means highly regarded play. Currently, it appears that SJU at 19 is the only ranked MIAC team in the top 25. That is not being highly regarded. Here in Wisconsin there are teams ranked 4, 5, 7,and one other got some mention. That is a sign of good parity. Bob, you raise a good question about future support from CSB/SJU. How will the football team fit into future strategic plans? Having the many years of success and recognition naturally leads those following the program to take on the mantle of "We're the best.” This is where Benedict might speak to us about humility. As to fans saying, writing disparaging things about the players, overreacting in the heat of the moment or a day or so later is unfortunate, but seemingly part of our social media fabric. Why do players make unwanted, unforced errors? Fatigue, injuries, inattentiveness...reasons abound at all levels of competition. Do the players "hear" the coaches? That is another age-old question. One of your writers spoke about the number of players. The Johnnies have about 200 players with about 10 paid coaches and 2 volunteers. At least some of the paid coaches do some other work. In contrast the Badgers have just over 100 players with 19 full time coaches and some 23 full time football support staff. That's it. Go Johnnies!— Tom
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From Vic Murphy ’92, St. Paul, MN —
A couple scenarios to share with SJU fans. Looks like we should be rooting for UW-LC and….yes BU. There’s pretty strong opinion that if we win our remaining games we will get a Pool C bid. Guessing any MIAC team making the playoffs will be playing on the road.
https://www.d3football.com/columns/around-the-nation/2023/giving-order-to-regional-rankings
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From Joe Kiley ’82, Loveland, CO? —
Hi Bob, I've been meaning to thank you again for your note connecting Jude Lahr and I in 2019. We became great friends through your newsletter, St John's and St John's Football. Jude left this earth this year to be reunited with Jan, the love of his life. He made a tremendous positive impact to many during his life, and I am so thankful to be included in that. He was a real stud with a heart of gold, who credited SJU for his ability to be a great leader in the military, and family man. He loved John Gagliardi, and warmed to Gary, which is tough for a lot of old timers to do.
Also wanted to ask you, respectfully, to reflect on a couple of things from the last couple of newsletters. I was gutted too with the loss to the Gusties down at their house. It happened to us during my career and the sick feeling of that loss is still with me at 63. I'll find myself thinking about one or two plays I could have made to make a difference, which is silly really, and it always comes back to the better team won that day, and it wasn't us. I'm sure the players on that field this year will carry that feeling the rest of their lives, and have thoughts like that also. In my day we didn't have a newsletter that fans, parents, or even players might read to comment on our loss. Criticism is expected when you play for St John's and lose. John taught us it is all about winning, and nobody was tougher on us when we lost (and even when we won at times), than John. I still love John but I wouldn't want to relive moments when he expressed his disappointment in my play. I know Gary holds players accountable and it's tough to take, while dealing with it make you a better player and person. I would just ask you to consider that when deciding what to put in your newsletter.
The other item is the name you referred to the Scholastica players in your headline. It takes character to prepare and play against a team when you know you are overmatched. Not only with their first team, but their 2nd team and maybe even their 3rd team. Knowing you are overmatched and they are going to come at you in waves, the replacements as excited to smash you as the starters, isn't easy. Showing up and playing the full 60 is tough. To add name calling on top of that is kind of harsh, and words matter.
You do a wonderful job, and as I started in this note, I am forever a fan of you and what you have created with this newsletter. I should probably reach out more often to thank you. — Joe
(Editor’s Comment: Joe’s referring to my subject line: “Clobbered a Pansy”; he’s right, but I couldn’t fit “Little Sisters of the Poor” in that space. Here’s what I wrote about the St. Scholastica players in the preceding issue: “We will face a team of young men this Saturday who come into the game knowing they’ll get wiped, but still they want to play for the love of the game, and I, for one, salute them. Go Saints!”)
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From Denny Bracco ’75, Oak Park, IL —
Forget the Hansen Ratings, 'way too complicated...These guys at D3Football.com are a lot more in touch. Read these evaluations and predictions, then scroll down to our Region 6 info. There could be joy in Mudville yet! Thank you, Strength of Schedule...WE'RE #3!
I've got UW-LAX beating UW-RF which gives them 2 losses. That means we're ahead of them, based on SOS alone.
https://d3football.com/columns/around-the-nation/2023/giving-order-to-regional-rankings
BTW, nice OP-ED, Boz. — Denny
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From Conrad Macina, Landing NJ —
I agree with you and disagree with Boz – anonymous opinions are acceptable, for all the reasons you cite. The UUN wouldn’t be as interesting if people with negative (but constructive) opinions were afraid to have their opinions published for fear of censure. — Conrad
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From Paul Hamann ’63, Edina, MN —
Why not go out on a limb? Johnnies make the playoffs and get to at least the semifinals. See you in Salem? You may recall some were predicting a deep run early in the season. So maybe a second chance will be a charm. Heck, a likely 8-2 is still a good season. Go Johnnies!
— Paul
Call From A Coach —
Early last week I heard from one of the Johnnie football coaches who would like to remain anonymous, and not quoted directly. We had a nice, calm, friendly conversation where I listened a lot as he enumerated some of his (and other coaches) feelings about some of the comments by me and others in recent UUNs.
Without quoting him I will pass on briefly the gist of our half-hour conversation: one of the main things he/they want our readership to know he that we are all Johnnies, hopefully pulling in the same direction, and that some of the “harsh” assessments about players, coaches and the program were disruptive and untrue. He went on to say that the UUN (which he said is not held in high esteem by the coaches) nevertheless fills a need and this coach hoped that a more thoughtful, balanced approach to criticism could be taken in the future by impatient fans and in the UUN. He offered to have conversations with me in the future to clarify things and get the full picture before we print some of the questions and criticisms. He/they seemed to think that the UUN had a great deal more coverage than it actually does, and is much more important than it is.
He spoke of the very important physical facilities needs of the program that are being addressed by soliciting large funding from various donors and that unwarranted negativity could jeopardize their appeals in some way. He mentioned that my comment regarding not making the playoffs, that we could stick a fork in our chances due to our loss to Gustavus and precipitous drop in the d3football poll, ticked off everybody and they were using that as bulletin board fodder (that some alumni think we’re done) to fire up the players for St. Olaf; and that we still have a very good chance to receive one of the at-large spots if we win out. I told him that if that using one of my comments worked, I’l send him another for the Concordia game.
We talked about unmet, thus far, expectations by the fans from all the early hype and the fact that we had 18 starters returning for this season, and the reality of the multiple games of too, too many serious penalties and what that might signify. And we talked about the poor play in both the Augsburg and Gustavus games. He said that they all shared in these expectations and everyone is as disappointed as the fans are but, he said, losses do occur, upsets do happen to very good teams; that each of our opponents look at us at their “Super Bowl”; that Augsburg had a very good game plan against us, and it took a couple of “miracle” plays for Gustavus to beat us, and that we almost won…sometimes plays that work most of the time just don’t make it…and that doesn’t mean the team is lazy, or not trying or is taking an opponent for granted. We both agreed that more transparency from the program and the administration over funding issues is needed, as well as more patience and understanding from the fans that the players are working very hard and count on the support from their fellow Johnnies.
Around The MIAC —
Week 10 Results — November 4
Hamline at St. Scholastica — (The Pipers are on a roll…can they continue against the lowly Saints? Yes, yes indeed.) Hamline did leave Duluth with a “W”, 33 to 26.
Concordia at Bethel — (A couple weeks ago I’d say the Cobbers were toast against the Royals but now I’m not so sure…maybe just stale bread.) Can we accept melba toast? Bethel sent the Cobbers home on the losing end of a 31 to 14 final score.
Augsburg at Macalester — (You just know the chastened Auggies will over-react against the Mac Patsies…first to score 80 this year?) Augsburg won but Mac put up a much greater fight than the Auggies expected; final was 42-34.
Carleton at Gustavus — (Coming from nowhere, the Gusties are now a con-ten-dah…and Carleton is dust in the wind.) The Gusties handled Carleton convincingly 38-20…too bad for us.
St. John’s at St. Olaf — (As has been suggested, the Jays aren’t playing well on the road. That said, the Oles don’t stand a chance…maybe. Gustavus didn’t either and we all know what happened there.) The Johnnies played extremely well on the road THIS time! It was an overwhelming win against a better-than-middling team, 49-10.
Other Game of Interest —
#4 UW-La Crosse at #7 UW-River Falls — (Gonna be a barn-burner…hard to bet against the Falcons at home; on the other hand, Eagles are bigger birds…) Too bad a team had to lose this one, so much riding for both, but apparently the better team won, UW-LC by 31 to 28, thanks to a blocked field goal attempt on the last play of the game.
See this crushing or elation play here: https://twitter.com/d3football/status/1720906114605216015?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1720906114605216015%7Ctwgr%5Ec6e200a6d39b0aedfc00287417167ad7d4ebcee9%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.d3football.com%2Fnotables%2F2023%2F11%2Fweek10-top25-wrap
Upcoming Games, Week 11 — November 11
MIAC Championship Week
Gustavus at Bethel — (If the Gusties’ George Sandven-Jake Breitbach combo really clicks like they did against us, and like they did against Carleton last week, Bethel might find themselves in for a real championship battle. Still, I need to go with the Royals…)
Carleton at Augsburg — (The way the Knights have been playing lately, one would think they wouldn’t have chance, but the Auggies are not setting the world on fire either, so it could be close; doesn’t mean it will be — Augsburg on top.)
St. Olaf at Hamline — (I haven’t seen the Pipers play but we’ve seen the Oles, and I think they have more substance than Hamline, ergo…)
St. Scholastica at Macalester — (This could be called the Woeful Bowl. With hopes for the Saints but I just don’t know.)
St. John’s at Concordia — (We beat the Cobbers pretty well last time, but this time it means even more for our post-season chances for an invite, so I expect the Jays to come out flying.)
Other Game of Interest —
St. Thomas at San Diego — (Should be three routs in a row for the late-starting Toms. I neglected to see that last week UST had a bye, so this game is Saturday out there.)
Northfield Revisited —
Greeting Pat O’Donnell ’70 are some classmates and friends in the sunny, but brisk stadium at St. Olaf. From left, Leila Utsch, now of the Saint John’s Bible department; Pam Johnson, Pat’s wife; Mike Laliberte ’70 over from Wausau, WI; and Pat and John ’70 Krueger of Richmond, MN. Pat is struggling with Parkinson’s currently but he nevertheless made it out to support his Johnnies. (Photo by Chris Scholl.)
There was a lot of Johnnie Red in Pat and Dee Tomczik’s living room in Northfield after the St. Olaf game. From left and standing are Ron Tomczik ’65, Mark Lewandowski, Jim Evans ’67, Tom McKasy ’60/’64, Jim Bassett ’58, Bryan Backes ’88, Ev Weber ’68, John Dohmer ’65 and Pat Tomczik. Kneeling from left are John Sipe ’61/’65, Mike Carr ’76, Bob Wicker ’60/’64, and Charlie Carr ’03. (Photo by Chris Scholl.)
2023 D3football.com Week 10 Top 25 —
What a disappointment, sort of…after a really strong showing against a fair-to-middlin’ St. Olaf, St. John’s dropped yet another point to our current #20. But I’ve learned that these standings aren’t the deciding factor in determining the four Pool C national at-large invitees, so I’m not panicking yet. I’ll save that for early in the day of Sunday, November 12 until we hear Sunday evening. Just hope we make a very loud statement up in Moorhead on Saturday…and then cross our fingers. Strength of schedule will be our salvation, if it’s even enough.
Defending Division III national champion North Central is still ranked #1 and has a 9-0 record on the season. Mount Union (9-0) is ranked second and Wartburg (10-0) is ranked third. Other teams ranked from Region 6 include #4 UW-La Crosse (8-1), #5 UW-Whitewater (8-1), #8 Linfield (8-0), #11 UW-River Falls (7-2) and #20 SJU (7-2).
Most of the rest of the Top 25 remained pretty stable with the exception of former #13 John Carroll who dropped five spots to #18 after their loss to Mount Union. UW-River Falls dropped four places from #7 down to #11 after their incredibly close loss to UW-La Crosse.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2023/week10
NCAA's Division III regional ranking
https://www.d3football.com/playoffs/2023/second-regional-ranking
Here’s a look at Region 6:
(UW-La Crosse is the only team in the region who has clinched an automatic bid to date. SJU ranked in third place gives us hope.)
| Region 6 | vs D3 | Overall | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | UW-La Crosse | 6-1 | 8-1 |
| 2 | UW-Whitewater | 8-1 | 8-1 |
| 3 | St John's | 7-2 | 7-2 |
| 4 | Linfield | 8-0 | 8-0 |
| 5 | Bethel | 7-2 | 7-2 |
| 6 | UW-River Falls | 7-2 | 7-2 |
| 7 | Whitworth | 7-0 | 8-0 |
Odds & Ends —
Runner Fiona Smith has her eyes on the national prize
The senior College of St. Benedict's cross-country standout is the favorite to win the Division III women's individual title; she'll transfer to a Division I school for her final year of eligibility after graduation this spring.
Smith has won five races this fall, setting course records at every meet she's been at while breaking her school-record times. At the MIAC Championships on Oct. 28, she won her third straight conference title with a time of 19 minutes, 55 seconds.
Smith won the race by 1:34, but that time also allowed her to make a little history. She became the first D-III women's runner to break the sub-20 minute barrier in the 6K two different times.
Smith has the fastest time in all of Division III this fall after running a personal-best 19:51.1 at the Connecticut College Invite on Oct. 14. The next closest time in D-III is 20:32.7 from Claremont-Mudd-Scripps' Natalie Bitetti.
The Division III National Championships are Saturday, Nov. 18, in scenic Newville, Pennsylvania. Smith finished in second at the D-III National Championships last year with a time of 21:49.6 to earn her second All-American honor.
Smith became the first athlete in St. Benedict history to win an individual indoor track and field title last spring by winning the 3,000-meter race (9:25.62) and the 5,000-meter race (16:33.79) on March 10-11 in Birmingham, Alabama. She took second place in both the 5,000- and 10,000-meter runs at the D-III Outdoor Championships on May 25-27.
Smith has one year of eligibility left after this fall. She'll graduate from CSB in May and is choosing to transfer to a Division I school for her final year. Smith has taken recruiting visits this fall and has her final choices down to Wisconsin, Florida, and North Carolina State.
Whatever school she chooses will mostly be based on how they fit with her academic aspirations. The mathematics major will be taking master's classes that she hopes will help her get a job in photography encoding and decoding. She hopes to get a job that will help keep business IT networks secure. Smith also minors in computer science and Hispanic studies at St. Benedict. (From a longer article by Andy Rennecke, St. Cloud Live.)
* *
St. John's QB Aaron Syverson says he's most likely done after this season
Despite one more year of eligibility, the fifth-year signal-caller from Minnetonka says he will most likely pursue a full-time job after this season is over.
Syverson is an Accounting (Finance) major and graduated this past spring. He hopes to get a job with a wealth management company in the near future. He had internships the past two summers that he hopes will pay off for him.
When his football career is over, whether it's this fall or next, Syverson will look back fondly on what he accomplished in Collegeville.
"I've played football since second grade when it was just flag football," Syverson said. "I know once I get into the real world I'll probably miss it. To live life without it will be interesting.
"I know I made the right decision coming to SJU. From overall quality of life, to making new friends, it was the right call across the board. There's a lot to be happy about with what I've done the last three years here." (From a longer article by Andy Rennecke, St. Cloud Live.)
Senior quarterback #6 Aaron Syverson takes a snap against Carleton in the first half Saturday, Oct. 14, at Clemens Stadium in Collegeville. (Photo by Jason Wachter for St. Cloud Live.)
* *
Ben Bartch Watch
First we learned that Ben was benched, then waived after the Jaguars traded with the Vikings for guard Ezra Cleveland.
https://www.si.com/nfl/jaguars/gm-report/jaguars-waive-ben-bartch-after-ezra-cleveland-trade
He then passed waivers and the Jaguars brought him back to their practice squad. “While the Jaguars now have Bartch back in the locker room, his time with the franchise could be approaching its end with his rookie contract set to expire after this season.” http://jaguarswire.usa.com/
Ben signed a 4-year, $4,056,616 contract with the Jacksonville Jaguars including a $763,616 signing bonus, $763,616 guaranteed, and an average annual salary of $1,014,654. In 2023 Bartch will earn a base salary of $2,743,000
* *
Christmas is Coming…to St. John’s Campus, and then the Basilica —
Christmas with Saint Ben's & Saint John’s:
— Great Hall, Saint John’s Campus - 7:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 1 and 2:00 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 2
— The Basilica of Saint Mary, Minneapolis.
Saturday, December 2, 2023 at 8:00 PM
Order your tickets and select your seats here:
https://bene-internet.choicecrm.net/ChoiceCRM.NET/templates/BENE/?cts_legacy_app
* *
Save the date of Wednesday, Nov. 15, for Give SJU Day!
On Nov. 15, your Student Fund scholarship gift is matched by generous classmates. You can set up your own match as well! Consider a per-donor match just for your class.
Powered by the SJU Alumni Association, Give SJU Day is the biggest day of giving in support of today’s Johnnies. Every gift helps another promising student call Saint John's home.
For more information on establishing a match or on Give SJU Day in general, please contact Ted Kain ’12, Director of Annual Giving, at tkain@csbsju.edu.
Go here to donate early: https://www.givecampus.com/schools/SaintJohnsUniversity/give-sju-day-2023
* *
Keep Voting: Jimmy Buck for Allstate Good Works Team Captain
Will you readers take a couple of seconds each day until November 22 to "Vote for Jimmy Buck" via the following link until the captain of the Allstate Good Works Team is selected?
Here's the link: https://promo.espn.com/espn/contests/allstate/2023/index
From Our Readers —
From Dave Steil ’64, Cold Spring, MN via Pennsylvania —
Rob, after 55 years in Pennsylvania, we have decided to move back to Minnesota, specifically Cold Spring. Will be there to catch the last Johnnie game, if I can get my head above all the boxes. — Dave
* *
From Bob Neis ’65, St. Louis Park, MN —
If all of the SJU players and coaches were on vitamin D3, we might have been undefeated and a D3 playoff participant.
(Editor’s Comment: Lest you think Bob is kidding, take a quick look at these studies:
Vitamin D in athletes: focus on physical performance and musculoskeletal injuries https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8342187/
The importance of Vitamin D for athletes https://www.gssiweb.org/sports-science-exchange/article/sse-148-the-importance-of-vitamin-d-for-athletes
* *
From John Sipe ’61/’65, St. Paul, MN —
Here’s my first go at a new logo for the Unofficial Underground News (UUN). If you want to go “pro" to spruce it up, ask for help from some of your artistic readers.
* *
From Dan McDermott '84, Plymouth MN —
Bob - an idea for the older generation of UUN readers? An 83-year old relayed a story about his experience in the McDonald's drive-thru for breakfast that morning.
"The young lady behind me leaned on her horn and starting mouthing some ugly things because I guess I was taking too long to place my order. So, when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with mine.
The cashier must have told her what I had done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and began mouthing, "Thank you, thank you!" probably feeling embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window, I showed the server both receipts, and I took her food too. Now she had to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again! Don't blow your horn at older people, we've been around for a long time…" — Dan
* *
From Joe Friedrich ’64, Professor Emeritus of Economics at Saint John's University, Excelsior, MN —
Thanks for all of your work on the UUN. I hope you are well. As you noted, a lot of our friends and colleagues have passed away. So I’m counting my blessings. — Joe
* *
From John Diffley ’64, Stewartville, MN —
Bob, thanks for all the sweat equity which you and your daughter invested in the St John’s Underground News publication. Enclosed is a chuckle to accompany all those sentimental reproductions of the second person of the trinity. — John
A Recent Study…
(Shared by Bob Malby ’64, Edina, MN)
The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born.
Statistics just released from the United Nations Board of Health revealed that: North American men between 55 and 80 years of age will, on average, have sex two to three times per week; whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.
This has come as very upsetting news to most of my buddies at the golf club, as none of us previously had any idea that we were Japanese…
Wicker’s Health Rant —
Determining Your VO2 Max
A couple issues ago we ran a short video by Dr. Peter Attia in which he told us the best way to lengthen both our longevity and quality of life is to determine and increase our VO2 max, which is basically a measurement of how much oxygen you breathe in while exercising as hard as you can. Your VO2 measures how efficiently your body utilizes oxygen.
Knowing your VO2 max can help you measure fitness and heart health improvements over time. There's no single number that everyone should reach. VO2 max varies from person to person. Professional athletes usually have higher VO2 max values and goals than the general population. Here is a brief article that explains it in a bit more detail: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-vo2-max-and-how-to-calculate-it/
Since hearing about VO2 max, I’ve been curious about finding my own number as a baseline for how effective my own exercise routine is. I asked the advice from a Bennie alum friend, Claire Kennedy ’17, who is a part-time trainer at the Midway YMCA in St. Paul with whom I initially worked for training on different weight machines a few years ago, prior to the pandemic. Claire currently is a therapist for a hyperbaric treatment center in St. Paul; I see her a few times a week while she pushes herself vigorously at the Y during her own regimen. I wanted to know if there was a way I could determine my VO2 max without having to go to an exercise testing lab, and just how hard I should push myself to get to my baseline. What follows is her advice:
Great question, Rob! The most simple variation for maximum heart rate would be taking 220 and subtract your age from that. For example, if someone is 50 years odd, take 220-50 = 170 max heart rate.
Then there is the Karvonen Formula to help calculate what one's target heart rate zone would be:
Target HR = [(max HR - resting HR) x %intensity] + resting HR
The link below will bring you to a calculator and definition specifically explaining this method!
I would suggest computing these numbers to see where that range would be and then you could potentially test it at the Y - you could do it on a bike, elliptical or treadmill based on what you feel most comfortable with. Wearing a heart monitor would be the most accurate but a fitness watch could also do the job to track this.
Sometimes people will use a scale of exertion. 1-10 with 10 being the absolute hardest/most intense where 1 would be equal to sitting and not moving for example. This method is all based on your personal perceived exertion.
Hopefully you find this helpful and not too lengthy. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out and I would be happy to chat further on this! Best, Claire
Claire Kennedy ’17 and your editor ’60/‘64 at the Midway YMCA. (Photo by Chris Scholl).
More Scenes From Stearns County —
Ninety-two-year-old Leona Schroepfer, a spinster from Meire Grove, finally consented to go to a retirement community in nearby Sauk Centre, but strictly on a two-week-trial basis. Consequently, she took a small overnight case with only the bare essentials.
The next day her niece was surprised to get a phone call from her demanding more clothes.
"Please bring me that good black silk, my lavender print, the brown wool..." the list went on and on.
Finally the niece asked, "What changed your mind about staying at the retirement community?"
The dear old lady responded: "There are MEN in this place!”
The Final Word —
A lady approaches her pastor and says, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquires.
“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’”
“That’s terrible,” the priest exclaims, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.”
“Thank you!” the woman responds.
The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?”
One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, Jake. Our prayers have been answered!”
You’ve reached the end of this issue…and congrats for your fortitude (and even fiveitude if it’s been a struggle). Many of you have high hopes for our Johnnies, and we hope others will even show it by traveling to Moorhead just to yell:
Shuck dem Cobbers!
(Or something like dat.)
Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697