The New Season Starts... UUN #13-24
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Dear Ready, Willing & Able Johnnie Fans —
This is the start of (1) something great; or maybe (2) acceptable; or even — God forbid — (3) a home field loss and yet another early exit from the playoffs. Let’s opt for Scenario #1—a solid win—please.
So now everything before this Saturday was nice and got us here undefeated, but it’s a new beginning of the Season That Really Counts. Given our recent early dismissals from the playoffs, blowing home-field advantage the last two times we were in this position, has given many fans the heebie-jeebies. The UW-La Crosse Eagles, one of the top teams in the fearsome WIAC, are a formidable foe for a second round game, but to go for the championship the Jays must take on all comers and show them who is boss. Let’s see that swagger, Lads!
Listen to Louis Armstrong take care of the heebie-jeebies:
Heebie Jeebies-Louis Armstrong and his Hot Five
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksmGt2U-xTE
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Junior #2 Dylan Wheeler stretches out for one of his three touchdowns against Bethel for the MIAC Championship. (Photo by Josh Johnston).
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The Good Omen Department For November 30 —
(With thanks to Ryan Klinkner ’04 from his 2nd-Round Game Notes)
The Johnnies are 4-1 all-time on November 30, all in postseason games: 1963 vs. Emporia State, Kan. @ Metropolitan Stadium (W, 54-0); 1991 vs. UW-La Crosse @ Metrodome (W, 29-10); 1996 at UW-La Crosse (L, 30-37); 2002 vs. Coe, Iowa (W, 45-14); and 2019 at Chapman, Calif. (W, 55-26).
(Editor’s Note: I was there and darn near froze my butt off:)
1963 vs. Emporia State, Kan. @ Metropolitan Stadium (W, 54-0): Played just eight days after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, the NAIA Eastern division playoff game between SJU and Emporia State (Kan.) took place on this date 61 years ago. A chilly 26 degrees welcomed the squad from Kansas before an NAIA playoff record crowd of 12,438 fans at Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington. Junior Jim Dey blocked an Emporia punt through the back of the Presbie end zone for a safety and an early 2-0 lead; an ominous sign of what was to come for the next three and a half quarters of football. The Johnnies amassed 494 yards rushing and 535 yards of total offense in the win to earn a trip to the Camellia Bowl, where SJU claimed its first of four national championships with a 33-27 win over Prairie View A&M in Sacramento.
(You can read about the other games mentioned by hitting this link and scrolling down 12 pages: No. 3 SJU Football's NCAA Second-Round Game Notes vs. No. 18 UW-La Crosse - Saint John's University Athletics )
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Johnnies Clean Up in All-MIAC Honors —
Senior quarterback Aaron Syverson was named the MIAC Offensive Player of the Year, Gary Fasching was named the MIAC John Gagliardi Coach of the Year for the seventh time in his 12-year tenure and 19 Johnnies earned a program-record 20 All-MIAC honors when the 2024 MIAC Football Awards were announced on last Monday.
In addition to Syverson, the other 18 Johnnies honored were as follows: junior safety Noah Arneson; senior punter Spencer Ell; senior center Charlie Folkens; senior defensive lineman Zach Frank; senior defensive lineman Landon Gallagher; junior tight end Joey Gendreau); senior defensive lineman Isaac Hetland; freshman cornerback Westin Hoyt; senior guard Nick McKenzie; senior Marselio Mendez, as both a receiver and returner; sophomore linebacker Aiden McMahon; senior kicker Conor Murphy; senior offensive tackle Grant Peroutka; senior linebacker Hayden Sanders; junior cornerback Blake Simonson; junior running back Caden Wheeler; junior wide receiver Dylan Wheeler; and senior linebacker Cooper Yaggie.
The All-MIAC honor is the third-consecutive for Syverson and Yaggie, and the second for Arneson, Ell, Frank, Murphy, Peroutka and Sanders. SJU led the MIAC with the 20 All- MIAC selections, followed by Bethel (17), Concordia (7) and Gustavus Adolphus (5). Senior defensive lineman Joe Akoh and sophomore running back Will Blakey were All-MIAC honorable mention. (Read more below:)
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Nice Feature by Frank Rajkowski on Sophomore Linebacker #23 Aiden McMahon:
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About Going To The Game —
Ticket Information
A ticket must be purchased by each patron to gain admittance to the game. Tickets are $8 for adults and $4 for ages 5-college (w/college ID). SJU season-ticket holders own the rights to the reserved seat/s, but must purchase a ticket to the game. SJU (game/season) or MIAC passes are invalid for NCAA games. Gates open at 10 a.m., two hours prior to kickoff, and on-site sales are credit card only. Tickets may also be purchased online at gojohnnies.com/tickets (starting at noon Monday, Nov. 25).
Free Tickets for CSB/SJU Students
Thanks to the generosity of Granite Logistics, all CSB/SJU students may attend Nov. 30's playoff game for free. Students may either show their ID at the gate or use the myCSBSJU app to scan a QR code prior to entering the stadium. (Ed’s Comment: This is really great and mighty generous but unfortunately so many students will be home for Thanksgiving break.)
Live Video Broadcast on ESPN+ Only
All Division III playoff football games will be video broadcast only on ESPN+ in 2024. – Get ESPN+
The postseason appearance is the 33rd (29th at the Division III level) and ninth in the last 10 seasons for the Johnnies, who earned the conference's automatic bid to the NCAA playoffs with their 41-33 win over then-No. 24 Bethel last Saturday (Nov. 16) in the MIAC championship game. The title was the program's MIAC-record 37th.
SJU has a 49-27 (.645) all-time postseason record, including a 26-7 (.788) record in Collegeville.
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Meeting the Cream of the WIAC —
We’ve been talking about the WIAC all season; it is without doubt the toughest D-III football conference in the country. It is notable, then, that we (both the SJU team and Johnnie fans) are fortunate enough to see three of the top WIAC players— two offensive and one defensive—when we play UW-La Crosse this Saturday.
Earning his second straight All-WIAC First Team honor, Jack Studer leads UWL in receptions (59), yards (1,037) and touchdowns (8) this season. He leads the WIAC in receiving yards and yards per game (103.7) while ranking third in receptions and tied for third in receiving touchdowns.
Gabe Lynch leads UWL in rushing attempts (163), yards (906) and touchdowns (9) this season. He leads the conference in rushing yards and yards per game (90.6) while being second in touchdowns.
It is Ryan Daines' second all-conference selection after earning second team accolades in 2022. He leads UWL with 59 tackles this season while starting all 10 games, including a team-leading 9.5 for loss.
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Senior linebacker #32 Jake Schwinghammer gets the fans excited as the Johnnies enter the stadium in their game against Gustavus on Saturday, Oct. 26, 2024, at Clemens Stadium in Collegeville. (Photo by Kimm Anderson/for St. Cloud LIVE).
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2024 St. John’s Bracket Previews:
https://www.d3football.com/playoffs/2024/bracket-st-johns
Final NPI Rankings
https://stats.ncaa.org/season_divisions/18386/selection_rankings/current_rankings
Printable Bracket
https://www.d3football.com/playoffs/2024/bracket
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d3football Feature:
La Crosse Looking [To Be] Back On Track
https://www.d3football.com/playoffs/2024/la-crosse-back-on-track
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Coe comes up just short in NCAA Division III playoff football first-round game https://www.thegazette.com/small-college-sports/coe-falls-just-short-in-ncaa-division-iii-football-playoff-first-round-game/
#21 Bethel vs. #25 Coe Highlights | D3 Football First Round 2024
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il3TL1zqRls
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Overheard at the UWL Student Union —
Two UW-La Crosse male students were talking while enjoying a snack at the student union.
One said to the other, "Apparently, this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude, my bad..."
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About UW-La Crosse —
The University of Wisconsin–La Crosse (UWL or UW–La Crosse) is a public university in La Crosse, Wisconsin. Established in 1909 as the La Crosse State Normal School for teacher preparation, it is now part of the University of Wisconsin System and the university adopted its current name in 1971.
The 128-acre campus is located in a residential section of La Crosse. The extensive landscape of grassy fields, trees, flowers, and other vegetation gives the campus a distinct park-like feel. The university has limited vehicle traffic on campus. To the east of campus is the La Crosse bluffs, of which the most prominent is Grandad Bluff. Downtown La Crosse and the Mississippi River are about a half mile west of campus.
UWL offers bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral degrees.With approximately 9,600 undergraduate and 1,000 graduate students, UW-La Crosse is composed of four schools and colleges offering 94 undergraduate programs, 31 graduate programs, and two doctoral programs. The university is organized into three colleges and two schools: the College of Arts, Social Sciences, & Humanities; College of Business Administration; School of Education; College of Science and Health; and School of Visual and Performing Arts. The College of Science and Health accounts for just over half of UWL's total enrollment.
The UW-La Crosse Eagle’s 21 athletic teams compete in the WIAC in NCAA’s Division III. The university mascot is Stryker the Eagle. The university's school colors are maroon and gray.
See the campus in this brief video:
University of Wisconsin-La Crosse Fast Facts Campus Tour
University of Wisconsin-La Crosse Fast Facts Campus Tour (2:51 minutes)
About Eagles Football —
The UWL football team plays its home games at Roger Haring Stadium at the Veterans Memorial Field Complex on campus. The Eagles have won 34 WIAC titles and 3 national titles: the NAIA Division II title in 1985 and the NCAA Division III titles in 1992 and 1995. In 2009 the football stadium and outdoor track were replaced by a new timed outdoor track, a football turf field, a new 10,000+ seat stadium/press box/field lights, plus surrounding soccer/athletic fields. It looks like they are getting into football big time, just like Whitewater.
The Eagles’ coach is Matt Janus. He is in his fifth year as UW-La Crosse's head football coach in 2024. He was named head coach on February 2020 after serving as interim head coach since December 2019. Before that he was the Eagles’ defensive coordinator for three years. A native of Lake Zurich, Illinois, and a graduate of UW-Platteville in 2010, Janus has led UWL to four straight NCAA Division III playoff spots in 2021, 2022, 2023 and currently 2024. Obviously he’s on a roll; I’ve heard him talk on some UWL football interviews and I think he’s cool dude. Others close to the WIAC think so too; he was named the 2023 WIAC Kwik Trip George Chryst Coach of the Year, the second straight season he earned the accolade. Janus was selected the 2023 D3football.com Region 6 Coach of the Year as well. So he’ll have his boys ready.
And about his boys: the UWL squad numbers 111, with 90 of them coming from all around Wisconsin; a handful of each come from Illinois and Minnesota. Like most WIAC lines, they are hefty—the O-Line averages 280 and the D-Line 277. And they have some very good players on both lines.
Offensively they have three linemen that just were named to the All-WIAC team: seniors #65 Brendan Harder and #58 Levi Liedke, and junior #73 Dain Walter (all 6’7” of him). Some other All-Conference players on offense—and names we’ll hear mentioned quite a bit—are junior running back #30 Gabe Lynch (a Minnesotan), and senior wide receivers #20 Jack Studer and #0 Wyatt LeMoine. Two other WRs in the game a lot are #88 Jack Janke and #22 Braedon Ott. Quarterbacking the crew is sophomore #2 Kyle Haas (another Minnesotan).
On defense the Eagles are completely solid at linebacker, with four seniors named to the ALL-WIAC defensive team: #56 Ryan Daines,#50 Connor Fahnrich, #9 Tanner Newlin and, maybe the best of all, #8 Ross Gengler. Two others also made the All-WIAC list: senior lineman #92 Marik Dickson and sophomore defensive back #21 Trent Mullen.
Bottom Line: UWL brings an 8-3, 5-2 conf., record to Round 2. But their record is a microcosm of life in the WIAC. They lost to #2-ranked D-II Grand Valley State (MI) in a non-conference game only by 20-13. They lost to Platteville 30-27 in OT; and Oshkosh 34-33. Then they turned around and beat River Falls by 4, Stout by 2, and Whitewater by 3. So when we play the Eagles this Saturday, it’s like we’re playing any of the top six WIAC teams, so closely are they matched.
WIAC teams are big, and physical. Whenever we played them in non- conference games it seems we had someone hurt, like out-for-the-season hurt. Those teams, and this one in particular, try to wear their opponents down by primarily running the ball (Gabe Lynch) to establish ball control. However this team also throws the ball regularly and Jack Studer is like their Joey Kidder.
Johnnie people I’ve talked to and received emails from are uniformly nervous about this team, thinking that we were put in a really tough bracket, especially since St. John’s is the #1 seed. Others see this game as a semi-final-type contest. Seeing our impotent running game against Bethel and knowing that it will be cold and windy on Saturday, they are wondering if we can withstand the size and toughness of the Eagles, and their deep supply of running backs, especially in less than prime weather.
I am certainly not being Pollyannaish when I point out that SJU has an NPI ranking of #1 and UWL is #33. While that certainly does not guarantee a win, and certainly means that the Johnnies will need to be at the top of their game, it does signify that St. John’s has what it needs to be successful. Logan Hansen’s computer analytics has us a touchdown favorite, but I think if we can avoid the sacks that happened against Bethel, we could win by two or more TDs. But I think it might be a high scoring game…another darn shootout maybe.
GO JOHNNIES!
A Reminder: The game starts at noon. Plan accordingly. And dress for it…many layers.
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UWL Eagle High Finance —
This sophomore UW-La Crosse linebacker went downtown to a leading bank to seek a loan for school.
When he told a teller his desire, she replied. “I’m sorry, but the loan arranger isn’t in today.”
And our Eagle said, “That’s okay, I’ll speak to Tonto if he’s in.”
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A UUN Classic . . .
The Entrepreneurial Spouse —
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”
The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.”
The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right.”
Saul replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?”
The attorney replied, “The pictures are of you with your secretary.”
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, and KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, and Mike Carr ’77 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 26th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet (660wbhr.com).
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Listening via the Internet: https://www.wbhr660.com/wbhr-st-johns-sports
Viewing via live streaming: https://miacsportsnetwork.com/?B=1140146
(Subscription required from ESPN+, steaming begins at 11 am)
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2024 Football Schedule —
(Games now and through the playoffs begin at 12:00 pm)
Sep. 7 Carthage (WI) Collegeville W 49-0
Sep. 14 Wartburg (IA) Collegeville W 35-13
Sep. 21 Bye —
Sep. 28 Bethel Arden Hills W 45-20
Oct. 5 Augsburg Collegeville W 45-20
Oct. 12 Concordia Moorhead W 38-31
Oct. 19 Carleton Northfield W 48-7
Oct. 26 Gustavus Collegeville W 34-0
Nov. 2 St. Scholastica Duluth W 70-0
Nov. 9 St. Olaf Collegeville W 55-6
Nov. 16 MIAC Week Collegeville W 41-33
Nov. 23 NCAA 1st Rd Bye
Nov. 30. LaCrosse 2nd Rd Collegeville
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Going to a Movie in La Crosse —
The middle-aged man sat in an aisle seat in the movie theater as he usually did because he felt it a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a young co-ed wearing an Eagles sweatshirt got up, moved from the center, and started working her way out of past a number of other people in the row.
"Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."
By the time she got to the older man, he was trying to look around her as the feature started and was a little impatient. He said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"
"No!" she said in a loud whisper. "The 'TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car."
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NCAA Div.-III Playoffs, First Round, Nov. 23 —
The following ranking numbers are the teams’ NPI ranking, not their d3football poll standing.
#81 Northwestern (MN) at #33 UW-La Crosse — (This will be one of those classic, first-round 55-0 blow-outs that we hate, with the IW-LC Eagles winning big.) It was as bad as we anticipated: UW-LC 59, Northwestern 14.
#30 Coe College at #28 Bethel— (I don’t know Coe this year, and they are evenly ranked with Bethel in the NPI, but I think the Royals will roll all over them. ) As close a game as the NPI figured, with Bethel not rolling, but just edging past Coe 31-26.
#54 Pomona-Pitzer at #25 Whitworth — (Whitworth should win big.) This was surprisingly close with Whitworth scoring but one more TD to beat P-P 21-13.
#35 Mary-Hardin Baylor at #34 Trinity (TX) — (Like the Coe-Bethel game, these two teams are really well matched; I have no idea who will survive but I’m thinking UMHB just doesn’t have much juju this year. Whoever it is will have to face #2 Hardin-Simmons in the second round.) UMHB generated just enough oomph to get by Trinity 29-22.
Other Games of Minor Interest:
Dayton at St. Thomas — (With the weather getting nasty and the team 0-3 recently, expect maybe 750 Tommie fans out to root their 5-6 team on to yet another defeat to a slightly superior Dayton team.) Well, well…surprise, surprise. U$T ended its season on a strong note, beating a Dayton team that seemed to be a bit better going in. But no, it was the Tommies 32 to 9 in front of—are you ready?—2,171 fans. The Toms ended 6-6, 5-3 conference.
# 37 Wheaton versus #78 Stout — (These teams qualified for the annual Culver’s Isthmus Bowl in Sun Prairie, WI. The highest ranked teams in the WIAC and the CCIW that don’t get an invite to the Div.-III playoffs get to play this game.) The 2024 edition had Wheaton barely surpassing Stout (my sentimental WIAC favorite) 35-32. From the NPI perspective Wheaton should have killed the Blue Devils, but, as they’ve done all season, Stout has once again played above their ranking.
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NCAA Div.-III Playoffs, Second Round, Nov. 30 —
(NOTE: Here is the link to the entire Div. III NPI ranking through Nov. 16, 2024: https://stats.ncaa.org/season_divisions/18386/selection_rankings/current_rankings … and here is the link to the NCAA Div. III playoff bracket: https://www.d3football.com/playoffs/2024/bracket . See the bracket for all the games; I’m just highlighting the ones that I’m interested in this round.)
#33 UW-La Crosse at #3 St. John’s — (If you believe the NPI then SJU should dispatch the Eagles with ease, but this is the WIAC we’re talking about…they are big, physical, and have loads of talent honed on tough contests against top-notch conference foes. Turnovers and penalties will be crucial for both teams. We’ll have to out-physical them to win by protecting our quarterback better and plugging up their running game…oh, and by minimizing WR Jack Studer.)
#13 UW-Platteville at #12 Wartburg — (The NPI shows these two as about as equal as you can be. The Warthogs are undoubtedly tough but they’re playing the cream of the WIAC, so it’s going to be the Pioneers in a close one.)
#8 Lake Forest at #28 Bethel — (Sure don’t know why the Royals get to host its #8 NPI opponent, but that’s the way it is. By power ranking, Lake Forest should get the win, but I’m not betting against Bethel…they’ve got too much going for them.)
#25 Whitworth at #5 North Central — (It was nice that Whitworth got to the second round, but that’s as far as they’re going. NCC doesn’t mess around.)
#35 Mary Hardin-Baylor at #2 Hardin-Simmons — (In this third battle between these hyphenated Texas teams this year, Hardin-Simmons will take UMHB yet another time.)
#36 John Carroll at #6 Mount Union — (Here’s another NPI mismatch that really isn’t. The first time they played, the Mount barely won at home 37-31, so look for more fireworks and a hoped-for upset by JCU.)
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CSB and SJU unveil bold, vibrant brand refresh —
As St. John’s and St. Ben’s move toward Strong Integration and face the evolving landscape of higher education, the schools are unveiling a refreshed brand that reflects this mission.
At the heart of this new brand is a hexagonal, honeycomb design, inspired by the distinctive glass windows in the Sacred Heart Chapel at Saint Ben’s and the Saint John’s Abbey and University Church.
It symbolizes the interconnectedness the two institutions have long shared, even as they have and continue to maintain their own distinct history and identities.
The new pattern replaces the shield icon, which has been in use the past few decades. While still striking, that pattern had nonetheless become increasingly more common among other colleges and universities – making it harder to stand out.
For the full story go here:
https://www.csbsju.edu/news/csb-and-sju-unveil-bold-vibrant-brand-refresh/
(Editor’s Reaction: [Yawn.] It remains to be seen if this is more than institutional self-stimulation until next year’s freshman class at both schools increases by at least 40-50 students over this year’s number. At that time I will proudly buy a new sweatshirt (and polo shirt, T-shirt, ball cap, winter hat, socks, coffee cup and seat cushion) featuring the new “branding.”)
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School of Theology, Scripture Study —
Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit.
Moses calls a staff meeting.
Moses: Well, how are we going to get across the sea? We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us.
The General of the Armies: Normally, I'd recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across. But there's not enough time -- the Egyptians are too close.
The Admiral of the Navy: Normally, I'd recommend that we build barges to carry us across. But time is too short.
Moses: Does anyone have a solution?
Just then, his Public Relations man raises his hand.
Moses: You! You have a solution?
The PR Man: No, but I can promise you this — If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three pages in the Old Testament!
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From Our Readers —
From Jim Conn ’64, Alexandria, MN and Ruskin, FL —
Thanks again Bob - You are always exceeding expectations in the word crafting department while following our beloved Johnnie FB team in a real mail-biter with Bethel. Only regret is that Nellie [Klein ’60] was not in her normal 104A #2 seat at the game next to me—she just may have had a heart attack during the second half and I’m not sure that I would have had the skills to revive her! Your analysis of the game was absolutely spot on and I’m sure that Gary, the coaches and team are concerned about the running game.
As for me, I’m at the Whisky Ranch in Cedar Falls, IA after experiencing a inflight magneto failure while en route from Alex to Ruskin FL for the winter. All’s well, the plane is fixed, the whiskey is great, and I’ll be on my way again tomorrow, Lord and weather permitting!
Thanks for all you do to keep us together! GO JOHNNIES! — Jim
P.S. - Absolutely loved this one: The headmistress went pale and interjected: "Ladies, the Fokker was a German aircraft."
Sir Douglas replied, "That is true, madam, but these f***ers were in Messerschmitts."
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From Don Hall ’55/’59 (but two years at Marquette, a Jesuit school), Minneapolis, MN —
Wick, Here’s an example of Jesuitical thinking:
A guy asks his priest, “Father, is it okay if I smoke while I pray?”
“Well, of course not,” comes the reply. “Praying is sacred. You must give your whole attention to prayer, and its meaning. Smoking would be a sacrilege.”
A week later the guy comes back and says, “I heard what you said, Father, and I’ve been thinking. Would it be okay to pray while I smoke?”
“Of course,” came the reply. “That would be very good thing to do.”
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From Vic Murphy ’92, St. Paul, MN —
I was organizing my vinyl albums and thought you might get a kick out of this:
(Editor’s Note: Vic also sent me a short audio excerpt of the record, which mainly was an appeal for funds…like what’s new 50 years later? Unfortunately I cannot copy and paste it here.)
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From Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ —
A Tommie walks into a gym and sees a guy doing pushups. He says, “Hey Buddy, sorry to tell you this but your girlfriend left.”
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From a text from Tony Sandeen ’94, watching the Bethel game in Hong Kong —
Nail biter, but a terrific result. I was concerned we were being over-confident reading the quotes collected by Ron [Tomczik ’65] in the UUN before the game. Also concerning—our run game and O-Line offense evaporated. But let’s celebrate and take the bye week to prepare.
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More Scenes from Stearns County —
A motorist driving down a country road in a very rural part of Stearns County hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road.
The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about 200 dollars today," said the farmer. "But in six years it vould have been vurth 900 dollars. So 900 dollars is vot I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for 900 dollars. It is postdated six years from now."
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
How To Find Something “Good” To Eat At A Fast Food Restaurant
According to dietitians there are some healthy options to be found in many fast food restaurants; nutrition-minded customers just need to be thoughtful and selective among all the standard overly-fat, salty and/or sugary offerings found in those nutritional deserts.
In the article below five nutrition professionals suggest healthier choices amidst menus that are generally unhealthy. If you have to visit a fast food joint on occasion, it may be worth your time to read (and study) their opinions so you won’t fill up on food that doesn’t do your body any good.
Just remember what leading medical nutritionists say, rather dramatically: “Whatever you eat either kills you or keeps you well.”
https://www.aol.com/lifestyle/healthiest-fast-food-restaurants-according-180500841.html
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The Final Word —
Ugliest Person in the World
One day, Hercules, Snow White and Quasimodo (Hunchback of Notre Dame) were standing around talking. Hercules spoke up and said, "I bet I am the strongest person in the world."
Snow White then looked around and said, “Well, I bet that I am the most beautiful person in the world."
Then Quasimodo looks around and quietly said, "I suppose that I am the ugliest person in the world."
An old man who had been listening in on their conversation said, "There is a psychic on top of that hill up there; why don't you each go in there and ask her yourself?"
The three friends agreed and they hiked to the top of the hill. Hercules went in first and came out a few minutes later and said, "I was right, I am the strongest person in the world."
Snow White went in next. She came out a few minutes later and said, "I was also right, I am the most beautiful person in the world."
Finally it was Quasimodo's turn. He went in and after a few minutes he came out scratching his head. He looks up at his friends and said,
"Who is Whoopi Goldberg?"
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Wish I could be there with you but, alas, I’ll be listening from afar in much warmer climes. That doesn’t mean I won’t be yelling with you who braved the weather to support our Johnnies in this huge game. Listen carefully…you just might hear me joining you with the following:
Pluck The Eagles !
(Or Something Like That.)
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Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697
Website: Unofficial Underground News