Are You Ready For Some [BIG] Football !?! UUN #11-24
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Dear Nervously Expectant Johnnie Fans —
Here are some highlights of last week’s game:
— Saint John’s was loaded for bear—on both sides of the ball—in its game with Saint Olaf last Saturday, winning 55-6.
— The Johnnies piled of 607 yards of total offense while limiting the Oles to 180 yards, and only 52 in the first half when we led 34-0.
—Senior linebacker Cooper Yaggie led SJU with eight tackles and returned an interception of Ole QB Theo Doran for a 50-yard TD to open the third quarter.
Senior linebacker #3 Cooper Yaggie returned this interception 50 yards for a lovely pick-six to start off the Third Quarter. (Photo by Ella Carlson).
— Since giving up 31 points at Concordia in a 38-31 win on Oct. 12, the Johnnies have given up a combined 13 points in their past four games.
— Saint John's senior quarterback Aaron Syverson leads NCAA Division III with an average of 338. 4 passing yards per game. Syverson also ranks second in NCAA Division III for both passing yards (2,707) and completions per game (26.25). His 32 touchdown passes rank fourth in Division III.
— Senior wide receiver Marselio Mendez and junior wide receiver Dylan Wheeler were the biggest benefactors of another big day from their quarterback. Mendez had nine catches for 180 yards and three touchdowns and Wheeler had seven catches for 158 yards and three touchdowns.
— Our offensive line was incredible last Saturday. They gave Syverson all the time in the world to stand in the pocket and pick his targets; and he was deadly with 25 completions out of 28 attempts.
— Syverson threw a pass into a crowd (Two Oles against one Johnnie) in the third quarter and was intercepted. As the Ole returned the ball up the near sideline a couple yards and then turned and started going toward midfield when a blue-jersey-ed flash came up like a run-away train and dropped the kid like a rock. The tackler? None other than Aaron himself, probably really ticked that he threw the INT and took it out on the poor guy. Syverson got high marks for a picture perfect open field tackle, while some observers suggested that we didn’t need for our quarterback taken out with a shoulder injury from playing defense. Bet there were oohs and aahs during the film session, though. Net gain by the Oles, six yards.
— The Johnnies improved their NPI rating by 0.058 from last week's calculation to 78.914 but Salisbury (Md.) and Hardin-Simmons (Texas) climbed past SJU into No. 1 (79.291) and No. 2 (78.989), respectively. The NPI is the NCAA's new system for selecting the 12 at-large bids to the Division III playoffs, which will include 40 teams in 2024 (28 automatic bids, 12 at-large).
https://ncaaorg.s3.amazonaws.com/committees/d3/champs/D3CC_SelectionCriteriaDatabaseFAQ.pdf
https://stats.ncaa.org/selection_rankings/nitty_gritties/40152?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Submit
What this means to St. John’s fans is that if we should be defeated by Bethel, we are still ranked high enough that we will be a cinch at-large pick. Also, Bethel, should they lose to us, will most likely also receive an at-large invite.
— Amidst all the good news following the St. Olaf game, one downer is that we were back up to ten penalties again for 94 yards, after having just one non-call against St. Scholastica. Incredibly, most were in the second half (new kids) and seven were false starts. We had a holding penalty declined and an offsetting unsportsmanlike conduct.
— As you can see from the photos, Saturday was a throw-back uniform day with blue jerseys of the old "Cardinal & Blue" fame being featured.
— When I mentioned during the game that Caden and Dylan Wheeler were not related, Boz Bostrom ’95, professor of Accounting and Finance, happened to hear and corrected me by saying they were related in that they were both Accounting majors.
— CSB-SJU President Brian Bruess stopped by during the game to complain that the UUN is so long that it takes three cups of coffee to finish it. That’s really not true…it only takes two cups of coffee.
— The weather was okay for the 9th of November; overcast until a sunny fourth quarter with some brief spitting of rain before, but fairly mild temps in the high-40s with little wind; most comfortable if you dressed for it. Attendance was 5,790; not bad for a non-competitive game, and it still beat U$T where they were playing for the Pioneer League lead and it was Homecoming to boot. (Actually, this would be a good place for a Tommie joke.)
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UST Blind Date —
A Tommie linebacker goes out on a blind date. The young woman asks, “What would be your idea of a perfect date?”
The Tommie replies, “I’d have to say April 25th. It’s not too hot and not too cold, and all you’d need is a light jacket.”
(Contributed by Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ)
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Freshman defensive back #9 Westin Hoyt intercepts a pass in the end zone to turn the ball over in the first half. This play capped-off a magnificent goal line stand where our defense stopped three runs from the two yard line. (Photo by Jason Wachter/For St. Cloud LIVE).
What two Johnnies say about the upcoming game:
"It should be a really good game next week," quarterback Aaron Syverson said. "Bethel is playing really well and that's why you play football — to play against really good teams. It's a big game. It's the MIAC championship. We're going to be really excited for it.
"Last year, we were pressing at this point and trying to make a statement every week. This year, it's not as much of that. We're just trying to be the best team we can be."
Said senior linebacker Cooper Yaggie, "We've been rolling since then the Concordia game. We're a tight-knit group of guys who love playing with each other. We’re acting like every game is our last one right now.
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Game Recap and Box Score:
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Additional Quick Videos —
SJU vs St. Olaf Highlights: The Mini Movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpmnWm-zHYQ
WCCO-TV video story on Bethel's Joey Kidder:
https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/bethel-university-joey-kidder-football/
Bethel vs St.John's, the first time around (Sept. 28)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jajrBG2Up7Y
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Important Announcements —
1. The home field football game against Bethel this Saturday will start at noon, instead of the usual 1 p.m. starts.
2. Former St. Cloud Diocese Bishop Donald Kettler (the “Johnnie Bishop” received undergraduate (’66) and divinity (’70) degrees at SJU) will be coming for the game on the 16th and concelebrating at the 3:00 p.m. Mass after the game. Normally there isn’t a Mass after 12:00 noon games, but the Bishop and Abbot Douglas have made an exception for an earlier Mass this one time.
3. Give SJU Day Coming Up! Support Johnnie scholarships.
It’s next Wednesday, November 20. This year, please consider making a gift to help Saint John’s reach 1,300 donors! Every Johnnie receives scholarship or aid. With matching gifts available, November 20 is a great day to give back! Your support of today’s students exemplifies the motto, “Once a Johnnie, Always a Johnnie.”
https://www.givecampus.com/schools/SaintJohnsUniversity/give-sju-day-2024/?a=8867906
Consider giving something right now as you read this, so you won’t forget. I just did. Even if you already contribute to SJU, give a little something extra so it can be matched and we can boost the number of contributors.
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Scenes Before The Game —
Enjoying some pre-Ole game camaraderie are (l-r) Eddie Hart '83, Dave Verkuilen, Pat Tomczik, Dusty Wagner '83, Larry Schultz 76, Arlo Vande Vegte, Ron Tomczik ‘65, and Harry Burns ’74/’78. (Photo by John Sipe ’61/’65).
A group of senior Bennies are shown enjoying themselves at the tailgate before the Ole game. They are (from l-r) Julia Schoenecker, Lauryn Kramer, Trisha Jacobson, Paige Linhoff and Natalie Williams. (Photo by John Sipe).
Sporting this new red tent with the Johnnie Rat are Jason '98 and Tina Blashack. They have two Bennie daughters, Emma '21 and junior Noelle '26.
Not to be outdone, Tony and Jolene Ell, parents of fifth year punter #18 Spencer Ell, had their blue tent version adorned with our Rat made specially back home in Morristown, MN. (Photo by John Sipe).
And speaking of "Rats", here we see three of the pack influencing innocent youth at the tailgate. (Photo by John Sipe).
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Bad Date Alert for Bethel Co-eds —
Girls, you know you’ve picked the wrong Royal when:
You order a Double Whopper and he says, "Hey, my name ain't Rockefeller, honey."
You've never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.
He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.
Your dinner reservations are under "Loser, party of 2"
He's especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.
He calls to tell you he'll pick you up, just as soon as the standoff with the police is over.
He's been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer twice.
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About Bethel University —
By this time we already know Bethel University is a private Baptist Christian university and seminary located in Arden Hills, Minnesota since 1972. Before that it was Bethel College and Seminary. It was founded in 1871 as a Swedish Baptist seminary and is now affiliated with Converge, which is an association of Baptist churches in the United States. The university enrolls about 5,000 students in undergraduate [2,100], graduate and seminary programs. Its main campus is situated on about 290 acres on the east side of Lake Valentine just south of Interstate 694.
The university offers degree programs through four different schools: the College of Arts and Sciences is its traditional undergraduate program; the College of Adults & Professional Studies offers associate degrees, bachelor’s degrees, and a number of certificate programs; the Graduate School offers ten master’s degrees, including a physician assistant program, as well as a doctorate in educational leadership; and the seminary, called Bethel Theological Seminary.
About Royals Football —
The Johnnies beat the Royals 45-20 in the league opener in late September. Bethel had five turnovers that day. Since then the Royals have been on a tear in the MIAC, albeit feasting on some of the lesser teams and keeping impressive first-string sophomore quarterback #9 Cooper Drews in until deep in the fourth quarter of most games. I’ve surmised that first-year head coach Mike McElroy may have been keeping his foot on the gas longer than necessary during these one-sided games to attract favorable attention around D-III come picking at-large-teams time. Kind of reminds me of a one-time MIAC coach whose name rhymes with Ben LaRusso.
On the other hand, Bethel has demonstrated a powerful, quick scoring offense that tends to overwhelm its opponents and, truth be told, has out-scored SJU in games with common opponents. For example, against Gustavus it was BU 43-GAC -0, and we were 34-0. Against Augsburg BU 73-8, while we were 45-20. Against Carleton BU 56-7, while we were 48-7. And the worst was BU 49-Concordia 16 while we were lucky to get out win a win at 38-31. Add that all up and it’s a somewhat discouraging 221-31 advantage for Bethel over our 165-58 against the same teams.
Does that matter this upcoming Saturday? We’ll see. Statistically, both teams are neck and neck, first and second at the top of the MIAC and nationally in some offense and defense categories. They are better than us in turnovers and red zone offense ad defense. We, however, are ranked #3 in Div.-III while they are ranked #24. Doesn't mean they can't beat us, but I'd rather bet on the Big Red Machine
In the meantime, Bethel is pumped at the opportunity to play us again. “We’re excited. I think we're noticeably a lot different team," said sophomore standout defensive back #8 Matt Jung. "I mean, honestly, they kind of gave it to us in that first game, but I think we're a lot different team. It was only Cooper's third start. Our offense is looking really good now and our defense is showing how good it can be. We're physical and we're dominating teams. We're excited to get a second chance at them.”
Besides Jung, who really is a super player (ran back two pick-sixes last week), the Bethel defense features senior linebacker #45 Caden DeWall, fifth year D-Lineman #34 Kolin Baier, grad student #21 d-back Nate Farm, and junior cornerback Devin Williams.#9, who with Jung is a pre-season All-American.
Offensively, assisting former Johnnie quarterback Drews as his favorite target is fifth year receiver #2 Joey Kidder who is near the top in D3 for TDs so far this year. As if that’s not bad enough, they have senior wide receiver #15 Micah Niewald running routes with Kidder. Their main running back is grad student #26 Aaron Ellingson with help from junior #1 David Geebli and sophomore #0 PrinceWarren Kinney. Bethel has one real stud on the O-Line — 6'6", 315 fifth year #63 Josh Helling, named to the D3 All-Region team last year.
Bottom Line: This game will be a battle. The Royals are much improved since we first met them this season. Complicating matters for us is that two of our top three running backs — Caden Wheeler and Quinn Christoffersen — are out, Caden ffor the season and Quinn with a deep bruise on his arm. To make matters worse, we've lost two O-Line starters. But St. John's has been pointing to this game, this season since last year. There's no way they will be out-hustled or not be mentally-prepared for this game. Look for a hard-fought victory, I'm thinking by two touchdowns.
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Passenger Choice —
A graduate of the University of St. Thomas and another from Bethel University happened to being sitting next to each other on a flight to Seattle. The plane was delayed at the start due to some technical problems. Just after taking off, the pilot offered his apologies to the passengers and announced that a round of free drinks would be served.
When the charming air hostess came round with the trolley, the UST alum ordered a gin and tonic for himself. The hostess then asked the Bethel grad whether he wanted anything.
The Royal replied sanctimoniously, "Oh no, I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute than have liquor pass my lips.”
The Tommie then promptly handed his gin and tonic back to the air hostess and said, “Ma'am, I didn't know there was a choice."
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, and KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, and Mike Carr ’77 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 26th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet (660wbhr.com).
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Listening via the Internet: https://www.wbhr660.com/wbhr-st-johns-sports
Viewing via live streaming: https://miacsportsnetwork.com/?B=1140146
(purchase required, steaming begins at 11 am)
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2024 Football Schedule —
(Games now and through the playoffs begin at 12:00 pm)
Sep. 7 Carthage (WI) Collegeville W 49-0
Sep. 14 Wartburg (IA) Collegeville W 35-13
Sep. 21 Bye —
Sep. 28 Bethel Arden Hills W 45-20
Oct. 5 Augsburg Collegeville W 45-20
Oct. 12 Concordia Moorhead W 38-31
Oct. 19 Carleton Northfield W 48-7
Oct. 26 Gustavus Collegeville W 34-0
Nov. 2 St. Scholastica Duluth W 70-0
Nov. 9 St. Olaf Collegeville W 55-6
Nov. 16 MIAC Week Collegeville
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Struck Out In Stearns County —
A man in his late thirties walks into the La Playette on Halloween wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat, and a phony beard. He sits down and orders a drink.
As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"
"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers. "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."
"But you look like Abe Lincoln,” protests the bartender.
"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago.”
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View From The Field —
By Ron Tomczik ’65, Medicine Lake, MN
The St. Olaf game was about preventing more injuries, looking at backup players, winning the game, and preparing for Bethel.
Our O-Line: Our offense starts with the OL. In this game they protected quarterback Aaron Syverson and opened holes for the running backs. They are prepared and coached by Coach Mike Magnuson, affectionately known to many fans as “Mags.” In the summer he commutes for practices from Gull Lake and in the Fall from Sunfish Lake. He volunteers his time. Jokingly, I have told him that we should at least be giving him some gas money—but he declines. The OL players say, “He knows football, takes care of them and is ‘The Best,’” which is a big part of the reason why they are such close teammates and successful. Against St. Olaf they gave Syverson an incredible amount of time to find open receivers and minimized sacks. After the game, a visiting high school football coach told me that he “had never seen such protection in a college football game.”
Injuries: Super running back Caden Wheeler had successful surgery on November 14, but he is out for the season; because he has too many playing quarters this season he is not eligible for a medical waiver. However, as a Junior, he does have one more year of eligibility. It is a huge to lose our fastest player, great running back and receiver. On a positive note, I was told that we have a roomful of talent. Caden told me that we will [soundly defeat] Bethel. Defensive back Vincent Pyne was injured in the game but is expected to return for Bethel.
Trivia: After a punt return for a touchdown by Marselio Mendez during the Gustavus game was negated by a block in the back, Mendez said he is 0 for 2. Asked what he meant, he said he also had a punt return touchdown called back in the Wartburg game. He would still like to have a punt return TD this season.
This season the MIAC allows travel teams to have 75 players. With the coaches, extra players, support staff, etc., SJU has rented three buses for away games.
Bethel: Besides the confidence of the above mentioned C. Wheeler, per linebacker Cooper Yaggie, in spite of injured Bethel players returning to play this Saturday, “We beat them with their stars in September and we have also improved.” Our guys are eager, certainly not afraid of Bethel. Per running back Will Blakey, “We have the best team in the country.” Finally, Yaggie told me, “We will be ready, don’t worry.” Go Johnnies! — Ron
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Bethel Theme Assignment —
Two Bethel defensive backs were walking back to their dorm after practice when one said, “I read your essay assignment like you asked and I have a couple questions.”
“Fire away,” replied the Royal.
“Are you aware of the expressions ‘The horse has left the barn’ and ‘You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube’?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because there is no such expression as ‘You can’t put the horse back in the toothpaste.’”
“Oops," said the young writer. “Sometimes I mix metaphors, I guess.”
“You think!?!” answered his friend.
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Around The MIAC, Week 9 — November 9
Macalester at Augsburg — (It’ll be the Auggies, maybe even easily.) If winning by 30 points is easy, that’s what Augsburg did to Mac, 33-3.
Bethel at Concordia — (A huge game for both teams; still I have to go with the Bethel ex-Johnnie quarterback’s team over the Concordia ex-Johnnie quarterback’s team, although the latter QB gave us more problems personally. Both squads are playing well now and both are improving, so this is the game to livestream. Go Cobbers!) Bethel proved it’s the real deal by humbling the Cobbers up in Moorhead 49-16.
St. Scholastica at Hamline — (Can the Pipers win two in a row? When your competition is the Saints down from Du Lute, the answer should be a big ‘yes’. But Hamline isn’t exactly setting the MIAC on fire either. Go Saints!) In an exciting outburst of scoring, St. Scholastica took it to the Pipers 42-28. Go Saints, indeed.
Gustavus at Carleton — (The Gusties should prevail, but this might be a close game too. Go Knights!) This is a huge, but welcome surprise to me: the Knights absolutely clobbered visiting Gustavus 51-17.
St. Olaf at St. John’s — (At this stage right before everything leads up to the playoffs we don’t expect too big of a letdown, so it should be a comfortable win for the Jays with more of the bench getting to play.) As like up in Duluth, the Johnnies took their foot off the gas early and cruised to a 55-6 victory.
Other Games of Interest —
UW-Whitewater at #20 UW-La Crosse — (If WW takes down LC, then the latter’s chances of an at-large invite are shot. An upset by Whitewater could happen but I doubt it. Actually, these teams are so close now that a WW win wouldn’t be an upset either.) The teams are so close and so was this score with UW-LC edging out UW-WW 24-21.
UW-Stout at #9 UW-Oshkosh — (I think it would be too much to ask for Stout to upset Oshkosh but stranger things have happened in the WIAC this year, and Stout has been involved in some of them.) Would you believe it? Unranked Stout did it again, taking out #9 Oshkosh 45-42! I don’t mind telling you that Stout is becoming my WIAC sentimental favorite. And tell us again why these guys are unranked?
#20 Marietta at #4 Mt. Union — (Although on paper Mt. Onion [because they make so many teams cry] should prevail, this game is notable since both teams are facing off with identical 8-0 records for the Ohio Athletic Conference title, and also because there aren’t too many teams in the OAC that can challenge the Mount even a little bit.) Marietta gave Mt. Union all they could handle before losing 28-21 in the Fourth Quarter. Darn…an upset of the Onion would have been so great.
Drake at St. Thomas — (Drake is currently leading the Pioneer League at 6-1, 5-0 conference, but UST and Morehead State are right behind tied for second. Drake seems to have more convincing wins over common foes so I fear the Tommies might be in for another disappointing day. Oh, wait…I forgot the tremendous Tommie home field advantage with all their avid fans to boost them to victory.) If the fans could have made a difference in any game it would have been this homecoming contest when 5,370 fans actually showed up. Alas, it was for naught as the Tommies fell to the Bulldogs 22-19. (No telling how many Drake fans came up from Des Moines, though, to add to the attendance.)
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Upcoming Games, Week 10 — November 16
Championship Week:
Macalester at St. Scholastica — (St. Scholastica by 25!)
Hamline at Carleton — (Carleton by 35!)
Augsburg at St. Olaf — (Close but I'm leaning Augsburg.)
Concordia at Gustavus — (Cobbers by 45!)
Bethel at St. John’s — (Closer than the first time but still SJU!)
Other Games of Interest —
#17 Linfield at #16 Whitworth — (This is a biggie; both are undefeated in the NWC with 6-0 records and it comes down to the last game of the regular season…just like it should. The MIAC needs to consider this when they typically schedule Bethel and St. John’s at the front end of the season.
#19 UW-Oshkosh at UW-River Falls — (Newly-fallen Oskhosh (from #9 to #19) still should have enough to take apparent flash-in-the-pan River Falls…but remember: this is the WIAC we’re talking about.)
#8 UW-Platteville at UW-Stout — (Stout keeps knocking off the big ones, but Platteville, even at home? I don’t think so but one can always hope, otherwise UW-P wins the league title outright.)
St. Thomas at Butler — (The Toms fly down—I hope they’re not being bused as a punishment for losing to Drake—to Indianapolis to play a team with an 8-2 overall record but also 4-2 in the Pioneer League, so tied with U$T. Probably the game will go to Butler but it should be close. Note: Both Drake and Butler teams are nicknamed the “Bulldogs” so we should call one the “Mongrels” and the other the “Mutts”.)
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A Couple Johnnie-Royal Differences —
- Johnnies drink on the front porch; Royals drink on the back porch.
- Johnnies will say hi to you in a liquor store.
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2024 D3football.com Week 10 Top 25 —
Not too much to report this week, except that two in the Top Four had huge scares that could have cost them their positions in the weekly poll: #2 Cortland and #4 Mt. Union narrowly escaped losses; Cortland stayed at #2 but new #5 Mt. Union dropped a spot due to barely getting by #22 Marietta who fitting-and-justly stayed where they were.
The real shocker occurred (is anyone surprised anymore?) in the WIAC where unsung and unranked Stout upended former #9 Oshkosh, dropping them to current #19, just above #20 La Crosse. Unfortunately the Stout Blue Devils remained unranked, but near the leader receiving votes. The pollsters obviously don’t appreciate what Stout has done so far this year.
St. John’s has remained solidly at #3 for several weeks in a row. Bethel only moved up one to #24 after a convincing win at Concordia…the Royals, like the Blue Devils, just don’t get any respect. Finally, Mary Hardin-Baylor dropped out of the Poll altogether from #24 after new #4 Hardin-Simmons beat them for the second time this season.
Top 25 through November 9, 2024:
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2024/week10
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Top 10 Signs Your Presidential Candidate is Under-Qualified —
10. Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.
9. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing.”
8. His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy.”
7. Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.
6. Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut.
5. Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?"
4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?"
3. Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.
2. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!”
1. On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a lifeline.
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From Our Readers —
From Terry Fruth ’60, Minneapolis, MN —
About the Tommies and Johnnie on the plane, even my wife laughed where the Johnnie gets the Cokes. Dat vas a good von!
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From Patrick Tomczik, UUN’s Southern Minnesota Correspondent, Northfield, MN —
We have to know about Fred “Johnson;” did he get a ticket?
(Editor’s Reply: I neglected to add that the state trooper laughed and walked away without giving Fred a ticket.)
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Meanwhile, In St. Joe. . . —
A Baptist, a Mormon, and a Muslim walk into the La Playette.
The Baptist suddenly stops and says to his companions, "What the hell are we doing in here?"
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What That Tattoo Really Says —
If truth-in-advertising laws governed your tattoos, here’s what the ink would actually say:
Still in my rebellious rite-of-passage phase.
I anticipate always feeling as whimsical as I was when I chose this.
Thinking-ahead deficient.
Personal names on my body are not necessarily indicative of my relationship with that person when you read this.
I regretted this one almost immediately.
It may be wrong to assume that I know what this symbol represents.
Actively taking a role in reducing the number of potential places that might employ me.
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
When Is It Time To See A Doctor? See What Some Doctors Say
While you don't want to run to your healthcare provider for every sore throat, or knee or shoulder pain, or nagging cough, at some point those kinds of issues may need attention, especially if they don't go away or increase in severity even after using O-T-C and other home remedies.
How does one know when to seek medical attention? One key is to know your body well enough so that you are aware when something irregular crops up. Trust your gut as well; if you're experiencing something that is foreign to you, act on it. Here is an article explaining how physicians determine when they themselves should turn to their own doctors:
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The Final Word —
Baptist Intimate Apparel
A Bethel alumnus walked into the Rosedale Macy’s and headed for the lingerie department. He said hesitatingly to the sales lady, "I would like to buy a Baptist bra for my wife, size 32B."
With a quizzical look the sales lady asked, "What kind of bra?"
He repeated, “A ‘Baptist bra.’ She said to tell you she wanted a Baptist bra, and you would know what she wanted."
“Ah, now I remember,” said the sales lady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to; mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian type."
Confused and a little flustered, the man asked, "So, what are the differences?"
The lady responded, "It's all really quite simple — a Catholic bra supports the masses, the Salvation Army lifts the fallen, and the Presbyterian type keeps things staunch and upright."
He mused on the information for a minute and then asked, “So then, what is the Baptist type for?"
“They," she replied, "make mountains out of molehills."
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Now this issue’s all over but the shouting…and speaking of shouting, that’s what we expect of all of you that plan to attend the monumental game this Saturday — we want to hear you cheering throughout the game and liberally sprinkling in:
Behead the Baptists!
(Or Something Like That.)
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Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697
Website: Unofficial Underground News