1st Kick-Off is Nigh. GO JAYS! UUN #1-23
Dear Expectant Fans —
We’re starting the 25th anniversary year of the Unofficial Underground News. Many of you have been with me the whole time. Congrats on your superior staying power and amazing allegiance to St. John’s, even through all the bad jokes and uneven football commentary.
This season of the UUN is wrought with technical difficulties and new expenses. Mailchimp, the formerly-free program I’ve been using the past few years for production and mailing, is now charging for users who send emails to more than 500 recipients. Bummer. My California daughter, Caitlin, who set me up with Mailchimp in the first place and who gifted me an unfinished website, has offered to help with yet another system. If I go that route the format will change and leaves fewer graphics options. Confounding my troubles, the Apple people keep downloading new “improvements” to my iMac which sadly are both confusing and messy to use. They’ve scrabbled all my files and cluttered my computer desktop. And, finally, SJU has pulled the cord on its e-alum directory, so I’m unable to look up class years, cities and the like for accuracy in the UUN. To tell you the truth, I’m ready to fall on my sword. On the other hand, I’m still using a flip phone, so let’s see what happens this issue. Maybe you CAN teach an old dog some new tricks.
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This football season looks like a doozy from the start. Gary Fasching ’81, head coach, suggests that this is the most difficult start for the team ever.
Coming up this Saturday at — and please pay attention to the time change — 12 noon, the #6 Johnnies host the #4 Tigers of Trinity University of San Antonio, Texas. It’s an early game to facilitate the Tigers return flight to San Antonio. Why these two top-ranked teams play each other is a tale in itself, which will be shared in a bit. But it keeps going: the following Saturday SJU travels to UW-Whitewater to play the #11 Warhawks at their home stadium where we have never won before.
On the third Saturday in September we rest up with a bye before hosting #14 Bethel on September 23. After that game we should have a pretty good understanding of just how good our Johnnies are this year. For the rest of our schedule, please hit this link:
https://gojohnnies.com/sports/football/schedule/2023
But enough crying about our early schedule…let’s take a look at Trinity’s. After playing SJU, the Tigers host #3 University of Mary Hardin-Baylor before commencing their regular season. Holy Mackerel! Playoff games right at the beginning of the season.
And speaking of UMHB, the Crusaders open their season up in River Falls, WI playing #23 UW-RF, followed by that crucial away game at Trinity, before finally playing #11 UW-Whitewater at home. Ouch.
So who has the toughest early schedule? The Trinity Tigers have the toughest first two, but the Johnnies take the prize for the most difficult three early games.
How about the #1 and #2 ranked teams, North Central and Mount Union respectively? Their first three games are all against pussy cats, while North Central’s fourth game is against #13 Wheaton College, so that’s something anyway.
Meanwhile, let’s not forget the D-1 Purple Scourge, the Tommies. Last year’s Pioneer Football League champions start with a probable laugher against Black Hills State (SD) at home, then take it up quite a few notches to travel to Vermillion, SD to play South Dakota. Their third contest takes them to Cambridge, MA to play host Harvard University. Win or lose, that’s a prestige game for the Toms. Both dailies will be stumbling over themselves to provide glowing coverage, expanding Coach Caruso’s already large ego to new extremes.
This allusion to Harvard reminds me of a football cheer we in the Class of 1964 borrowed from that august school: “Retard them…retard them. Make them relinquish the ball.” We also used a cheer that some of our properly-disposed mothers in the stands frowned upon when playing our close rivals, Concordia: “Hail Mary, full of grace, keep the Cobbers in second place.”
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#7 Nick VanErp and #8 Alex Larson celebrate a TD from last year’s campaign.
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Who Are The Johnnies Going To Be This Year? —
Head coach Gary Fasching made his annual summer trek to the Lunch Bunch, a group of senior Johnnies who meet monthly at the Park Tavern in St. Louis Park. In remarks to the largest attendance ever in mid-July, Gary gave us an overview of D3 football; our challenging schedule; the state of our team with returnees, transfers and incoming class; the MIAC as a whole; and his gratitude for Johnnie Football fans’ support and its value to the program. Here is a brief recap of his thoughts:
Gratitude for Financial Help —
Gary thanked those of us who supported and spoke of the value to the team of the contributions to the Gagliardi Fund: some notable uses are 3 coaches' salaries; feeding teams before school starts; equipment, such as knee braces and the like that they didn't have the budget for. Travel expenses is another use. Bernie Weber ’63/‘67 said we're going to keep trying to bolster the overall fund so the team can get by on the interest while keeping the principle growing. We need to build the fund so that Gary and the coaches can use the yearly interest to plug financial holes in our program while keeping the nest egg intact.
Schedule Toughest Ever —
Trinity ranked a bit ahead of us; they are physical, fast; well-coached; have an All-American QB.
Whitewater — much improved with a new coach.
Bethel — Their great QB graduated but most of the team is coming back. Will be very tough.
Gary says that our guys are excited about these games and are getting ready for it. He added that we have to play these top teams for non-conference schedule fillers because none of us can get games otherwise.
In the MIAC, in our Northwoods Division Gustavus and Carleton are showing improvement; in the other Skyline Division it's Bethel with Augsburg as a dark horse. Concordia has its up and down years, but he reminded us that the Cobbers nearly came back to beat last year after we blew a huge lead; he said they usually play us hard because we are their closest and best rival — they're up for us every year.
Our Team —
All coaches are coming back plus we've added a new QB coach. 201 players are coming out with 53 freshmen and 9 transfers so far. About the frosh he said it is a good, solid class and the coaches are specifically trying to recruit offensive linemen and defensive backs. As for the transfers we have two linemen and two D-Backs that could help us. About these players using the portal, we're not as aggressive as many teams looking for players; in fact, most of those who transferred in were recruited by SJU while in high school, selected another school, and Gary told them that if it doesn't work out at that school to give him a call. Nevertheless, we do use a service that alerts Gary when a player from Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa or the Dakotas enters the portal.
Special Teams —
Last year we were best in the league until the last game. The coaches are doubling down on special team improvement this year and are dedicating the first 20 minutes of every practice to work on those skills before beginning the regular practice sessions.
• Kickers — both returning and that's "comforting" Gary said because it’s often hard to find the quality of Conor Murphy (PATs and Kickoffs) and Spencer Ell (punter).
Offense —
Lost two good, experienced linemen; Devin Vouk is returning at RB plus we have a few good back-up runners, plus a hard-running transfer, Jackson Sawyer, from Washington State. Aaron Severson is very good but needs to accelerate his game, especially in the playoffs, and he knows this. It's the consensus of the coaching staff that we have to run the football better; they spent spring practices working on that. We can't be one-dimensional going into the deeper playoffs. About QB backups Gary said that junior Cooper Downs is back from Central of Iowa after one year; he came back because all his friends are up here. And he also mentioned Zander Dittberner, a good-looking soph from Mankato West.
Defense —
Overall we have to be imaginative. Losing two All-Americans really hurts; we have to be solid and there are questions about the D-Line; we hope we have replacements, maybe not at the level of Wozniak and Faoliu, but strong enough at their positions anyway. All linebackers are returning and most of secondary.
Overall —
The team has been working hard in the off-season; we want them to be their best on and off the field, and in the community. Our guys, who chose SJU, first want a great education and football is icing on the cake. We have a target on our back and the guys know it...we've got to keep it going. Gary also said he spends entirely too much time on scheduling; teams just don't want to play us...it's also the same for those bigger teams we are playing, so losses by these teams shouldn't penalize them too much when considered for the playoffs. As far as recruiting, we have a Game Day program where we invite 20-25 top prospects to each home game. It seems to be pretty effective.
Gary said we can be a top-four team IF everyone stays healthy (i.e., last year Vouk out, then Trost and VanErp hurt in the playoffs); and IF we don't make the kind of mistakes we did last year and also get some lucky bounces.
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Meanwhile, Back at the La Playette —
A man walks into the La, already drunk, and asks for a drink. "Sorry," the bartender says, "but you obviously already had a little too much to drink."
Fuming mad, the man staggers out the front door and walks back around the corner in the alley and comes in the backdoor. "Can I have a drink, pleash?"
"Sorry," the bartender says, "but you can’t have a drink here."
The man staggers out again and then stumbles his way once again around through the back door. "Can I pleash have a drink?"
"Enough!" the bartender screamed. "I told you, no drinks!"
The man looks at the bartender closely and exclaims, "Geez! How many barssh do you work at?"
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All About Trinity —
Trinity University is a private liberal arts college in San Antonio, Texas. Founded in 1869, its student body consists of about 2,600 undergraduate and 200 graduate students. Trinity offers 49 majors and 61 minors among six degree programs, and has an endowment of $1.725 billion. [Please, let me repeat that — they have an endowment of $1.725 billion!! Love that Texas oil money; too bad we can’t snare some of our state’s wild rice dough.]
Trinity is a member institution of the Annapolis Group, a consortium of national independent colleges that share a commitment to liberal arts values and education, and the Associated Colleges of the South, 16 southern liberal arts colleges that collaborate on staff and curricular enhancements.
It was founded by Presbyterians in Tehuacana, Texas, then moved to Waxahachie, Texas in 1902. After the Stock Market crash the college fell onto hard times and was in danger of not surviving until, in 1942, town leaders in San Antonio invited Trinity to move there to take over the failing Methodist-affiliated University of San Antonio because they wanted a Protestant-affiliated college in the city.
Under the outstanding leadership of its 14th president, James W. Laurie, Trinity drastically increased its endowment, allowing for a new campus up on a former limestone quarry overlooking the town to open in 1952 while also increasing the quality and range of its faculty, and still maintaining a high faculty to student ratio. Today Trinity is a private, independent university, but a “historically connected” member of the Association of Presbyterian Colleges and Universities. About 40% of Trinity’s student body comes from underrepresented backgrounds. 72 percent of the student body comes from Texas.
Trinity overlooks downtown San Antonio and is adjacent to the Monte Vista Historic District. The 125-acre Skyline Campus is noted for its distinctive red-brick architecture and well-maintained grounds, modeled after an Italian village, by late architect O'Neil Ford.
Trinity Athletics —
The Trinity Tigers is the nickname for the sports teams of Trinity University. They participate in the NCAA’s Division III and the Southern Collegiate Athletic Conference (SCAC). The school mascot is LeeRoy, a tiger. In the 1950s, LeeRoy was an actual tiger who was brought to sporting events, but today LeeRoy is portrayed by a student wearing a tiger suit.
Trinity has a tradition of fielding strong teams in a number of sports but they are best known for the success of their men’s and women’s tennis teams. Historically, for the past quarter century at least, the Tigers football team has been conference champs twelve years in a row, plus another four times. They’ve made the NCAA playoffs thirteen times, were semifinalists two times, and made the Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl once, which they lost to Mount Union.
There is a very interesting and ultimately tragic story behind that 2002 contest. Trinity hosted St. John’s in a semi-final game, in which the Tigers hung on to win a thrilling game, 41-34. The hero of the game was quarterback Roy Hampton. After the game the team partied hearty with Hampton ending up being arrested for being drunk and disorderly, and physically resisting arrest, on the famed River Walk in the early morning hours. He was suspended from the team, which then was humiliated by Mt. Union the following week. Unfortunately the disappointment of being forced off the team led Hampton to depression and a spiral downward that led to his death by a drug overdose 11 years later. There is a description of his troubles in the following link.
His teammate and good friend, Jerheme Urban, is quoted in the piece; Urban is the current coach of the Tigers in his tenth season. He has chalked up a record of 61-25 (.709) over the last seven seasons. He stands at 35-7 (.833) in the Southern Athletic Association (SAA), which Trinity joined prior to the 2017 season.
A Trinity grad, Coach Urban began a nine-year career in the National Football League. The talented wide receiver played for the Seattle Seahawks; Arizona Cardinals, including the 2008 Super Bowl team; and Kansas City Chiefs. Coach Urban amassed 91 receptions for 1,256 yards and eight touchdowns in his career.
Coach Urban was a versatile student-athlete at Trinity from 1999-2003, competing in football and track & field. He earned D3football.com All-America First Team honors and was elected to the Football Gazette All-America Second Team. Coach Urban also was tabbed for the All-SCAC Team. He was a key contributor on the 2002 Tiger team, which advanced to the NCAA Division III Championship Game. In Trinity football record books, Coach Urban leads in most touchdowns scored.
This year his team, coming off an undefeated regular season in 2022, is ranked #4 in the d3footfall.com Top 25, right under their most bitter rival, #3 University of Mary Hardin-Baylor, another Texas team. The Tigers are blessed with three (count ‘em - 3!) Preseason All-Americans: linebacker Caleb Harmel (a two-timer); kick and punt returner B.J. Stewart; and quarterback Tucker Horn, two-time SAA Offensive Player of the Year.
There are approximately 130 players on this team, of which only about half will make the trip up north. The Tiger offense will have nine returning starters, while the defense has eight returning starters. Looking over their roster it appears that the team is made up mostly of Texans. The O-line doesn’t appear to be exceptionally large with the exception of three freshmen all over 300 pounds; wonder if any of them will even make the trip? The D-line also isn’t mammoth except for a couple big guys.
Trinity, with their speed and experience, will no doubt provide an early test for the Johnnies, particularly for our rebuilt offensive and defensive lines. We give up a lot of pass yardage anyway, so against a top quality quarterback (and without last year’s Wozniak and Faoliu chasing down the passers) we could see some big scoring against us; let’s hope our passing game is every bit as good or better than theirs. Gary spoke a lot of Special Teams earlier this year; we’ll need a super, error-free performance on all aspects this Saturday to contain their All-American returner. I’m not hazarding a prediction for this contest.
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Lateralpalooza —
Trinity made national headlines back in 2007 with an amazing last-second victory over Millsaps College that included 15 lateral passes and involved seven players as time expired in the game.
Check out this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHbzQoXuxdU
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Tiger Guessing —
Two good ‘ol Texas boys, teammates on the Trinity Tigers, meet on a street off campus where they live in rented bungalows for students.
One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "Chickens."
"Chickens, eh?" says his teammate "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?”
"Heck," says the player with the bag, "if you guess right, I'll give you both of ‘em."
The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um...is it five?"
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, Mike Carr ’77, and Charlie Carr ’03 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 10 a.m. and the pre-game show at 10:30 a.m (for this early game only). The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 26th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet (660wbhr.com).
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Listening via the Internet: https://www.660wbhr.com/wbhr-st-johns-sports
Viewing via live streaming: https://miacsportsnetwork.com/saintjohns/
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Senior wide receiver Jimmy Buck grabs one for a long gain last season. (Photo by Graham Miller)
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Travel Advisory For Saturday’s Game —
Interstate 94 between the Saint Ben's and Saint John's exits (160 and 156, respectively) is undergoing major repairs that are impacting both eastbound and westbound traffic. This road construction project will impact your travel to and from Saint John's until late September. More information about this road project can be found here.
For most fans it shouldn’t cause too much of a delay, especially for those arriving early for activities like tailgating or touring the campus. It might be a bigger deal for the Bethel game when many more visiting fans will be heading for Collegeville. For those familiar with the back road from St. Joe, that might provide a suitable alternative.
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What early arrivals may experience this Saturday morning — the iconic St. John’s Tailgate. Come hungry, come thirsty, come very friendly.
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The Robot Bartender —
A grad of an Ivy League college goes into a bar in New York City where there is a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have? The fellow replies: “Whiskey.” The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168.” The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
After the Yalie leaves, the more he thinks about it, the more curious he gets, so he decides to go back. The robot asks, “What’s your drink?” The guy answers: “Whiskey.” The robot returns with his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The man replies, “100.” The robot talks about Nascar, Budweiser and the NFL.
The Eli finishes his drink and leaves, but is so interested in his “experiment” that he decides to try again. He enters the bar and as usual, the robot asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies: “Whiskey.” The robot brings the drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The man answers, “50.” The robot leans in real close & whispers,
“So…are…you…still… happy…you…went…to…St…Thomas?”
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2023 d3football.com Preseason All-Americans —
https://www.d3football.com/awards/all-americans/2023-preseason
It’s not surprising that #1 North Central and #2 Mt. Union have multiple players in the All-American category; what is surprising is how many #5 Wartburg has.
2023 d3football.com Preseason Top 25 —
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2023/preseason
Lots of the same old names.
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Looking Ahead to Whitewater —
(From Adam Herbst ’99, Exec. Dir., SJU University Relations) - The University of Wisconsin Whitewater has released information about parking, tailgating, and tickets for the Saturday, September 9 game the Johnnies will play there. A SJU tailgate is planned in Lot 11. If Lot 11 fills up, Lots 7 and 9 are nearby and suggested. The cost per stall in Lot 11 is $15, and $10 per stall in Lots 7 and 9. Bring cash or a check.) Traffic lanes must remain clear, so the person at UWW mentioned some people who bring a 10x10 tent purchase two spots (one for their vehicle, one for their tent). UWW allows tailgating 3 hours prior to kickoff, and they outline other tailgating policies on the webpage. SJU Institutional Advancement is planning a tailgate presence in Lot 11 near spaces A 1-5 and D 1-5. Here is the link with all the details and for purchasing parking spots and game tickets. Go Johnnies!
https://www.uww.edu/adminaffairs/parking-regulations/football-parking
Football admission prices: adult advance $13; adult at gate $15; youth and senior citizens advance $8; youth and senior citizens at gate $10. Only cash and checks accepted at game day.
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For those who are planning to attend the game, arriving the night before: In the past several Johnnie fans have stayed at the fairly inexpensive Super 8 in Janesville, WI. The address is 3430 Milton Avenue, Janesville 53548, phone is 608-756-2040. A better price can be had by going through this computer link, although you can call as well. As of this date they still had a good number of rooms.
https://www.wyndhamhotels.com/super-8/janesville-wisconsin/super-8-janesville/overview
A block or so away is the Milwaukee Grill, a fine restaurant that our group has dined at about three times before. https://milwaukeegrill.com/ There's a nice bar there if anyone needs to wait for a table, and also nice to visit with others wearing Red afterward.
The travel time between Janesville and Whitewater is about 30 minutes, and the time between Madison and Whitewater is an hour. Because of activities this weekend in Madison, inexpensive motel rooms are rare, but still available at going market rates around $200+ a night..
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Quick Thinking —
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day, she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
"Oh my God, hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" she said.
"I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!"
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's gotta hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"
So the boyfriend scooted out of bed, grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window. As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
"Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!
Another runner moved along side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"
"Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
"Nope. Only when it's raining."
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Around The MIAC —
Saturday, September 2
Trinity at Saint John’s (Too close to call)
Central College at Saint Olaf (A question mark; leaning to Central)
Crown at Hamline (Better be Hamline or it’s a l-o-n-g season)
U. Of Northwestern at Augsburg (The Auggies reign big)
Concordia at UW-Eau Claire (Another question: probably UW-EC)
Buena Vista at Gustavus (Gusties will roll)
UM-Morris at Macalester (Mac should win handily…yes, THAT Mac)
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What’s New in the MIAC? —
MIAC APP
The MIAC debuted its refreshed mobile app last summer in partnership with SIDEARM Sports. The app is free to fans and can be downloaded on both the Apple App Store and the Google Play Store for Android devices.
MIAC SPORTS NETWORK
The MIAC Sports Network powered by Hudl launched in August and will be the streaming home of all MIAC-hosted games, events, and championships. The MIAC Sports Network is available on the web (https://miacsportsnetwork.com/) along with streaming apps for television and mobile devices, including Android TV, Apple TV, Amazon Fire, Roku (TV), iOS, Android (mobile), and Amazon Fire Tablet. The app can be found and installed free of charge by searching for the MIAC Sports Network. (Note: This is a technical improvement; livestream coverage will still cost viewers of Johnnie home games the same as in the past. See Q & A below:)
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About the new MIAC Sports Network, I wondered how it would work and sent some questions around to some SJU faithfuls-in-the-know. Fortunately one of the recipients of my questions was Ryan Klinkner ’04, Athletic Media Relations Director. Here he explains it all:
Will SJU still get their dough per game per viewer or will the charge be shared with the MIAC and HUDL? PPV goes to SJU only. There is no revenue sharing.
Can SJU still livestream their own events in addition to participating with the MIAC Sports Network? Yes. The MIAC Sports Network is simply a hosting platform. This replaces Stretch Internet (what we’ve used in the past). Each institution still produces the broadcasts themselves on campus.
Is it a good deal for SJU? Yes, the cost is cheaper than Stretch Internet. This is also a good deal for the MIAC as a whole, as all of the MIAC broadcasts are organized on one platform. The ability to access the platform via Roku, Apple TV, etc. is also a positive.
Can we switch between games of rivals (who don't happen to charge for viewing like SJU) at no charge? Yes.
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Tommie Bedside Manner —
A fellow was referred to a new young surgeon, a graduate of the University of St. Thomas for his undergraduate degree. The Tommie doc checked him over and told his new patient he needed immediate surgery.
So the guy underwent a surgery and met with his Tommie doctor afterward to discuss next steps in his recovery.
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering, doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent."
Patient: "How can you be so sure?"
Doctor: "Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated and all the others died."
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From Our Readers —
From an anonymous reader/SJU fan —
A tidbit you can use for your Underground if you don't already note it (no citation wanted): Both Trinity and Whitewater play UMHB after they play us. I don't think anyone would consider a Johnnie game a "trap game" but I understand from a D3 football podcast in March or April that there is quite a bit of excitement in Texas about the Trinity v. UMHB game. Also, Whitewater and UMHB have had epic battles, including last season's last minute TD by Whitewater to win. Both games should be a blast and it is going to be another exciting season.
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From Tony Sandeen ’94, Hong Kong SAR (China) —
Wick, China removed this requirement [Covid Tests] for travelers from Macau, Hong Kong and Taiwan a few months back. Good riddance. I believe North Korea is the only remaining country where tests and quarantine still exist so my travel plans there are still on hold... I've been to China four times since reopening and mostly all good. Economically things are slow...a general lack of hustle and bustle... reports of headwinds are true although their leadership generally provides effective governance for their type of system.
We had a good and long summer Stateside. My family did their normal 10 weeks and I was able to stay for 7. Son Thad and I did 10 days of college visits, he got his driver's license, daughter got her permit. Reconstruction of our cabin is still ongoing…delayed and over budget of course, but we're very pleased with the project and will be very happy with the end result. Father Lew [Grobe, OSB ’06] in the Abbey Woodworking is helping to furnish one of the guest rooms...Next summer, you and yours should spend a few days with us.
I really admire the Johnnies' scheduling.. although a daunting start to the season, it'll toughen them up and provide a good litmus test. I think you don't read the Star Tribune but [Patrick] Reusse had a good read on Augsburg being a possible insurgent contender. Hillary and I know the Augsburg coach well and he's using the same playbook at Augsburg that he did to win a state title at Osseo.
I had plans to be in New York for the marathon early Nov., but I'm needed in Malaysia instead and with that went any chance for a game in Collegeville this year. Bummer. I do hope you continue with your wonderful newsletter although I'm sure it's a heck of a lot of work.
Go Johnnies! — Tony
Link to Reusse’s article:
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From Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ —
Re SJU’s national ranking, they may be Number Six, but we all know that the Johnnies are Number One. And the Tommies are Number Two. (Note: Here Conrad inserted a “poop” emoji.)
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(Note: On August 7 we received this email from Bernie Weber ’63/’67): Dearest friends, Wayne Hergott (’57) passed away from a heart attack this AM. Wayne’s daughter called…so I will forward any info I get. A very sad day for all of us. God loved him. — Bernie
https://www.csbsju.edu/sjualum/2016reger
From Fr. Timothy Backus OSB — A truly wonderful man. A hole in Johnnie Nation that will not be filled. — Timo
(Note: Fr. Timo was asked by Wayne’s family to preside at his funeral at Christ the King Parish in South Minneapolis on Saturday, August 12. A huge delegation of Johnnies and Bennies were in attendance to support the Hergott family.)
From Larry Haeg ’63/’76 — A Giant of a Johnnie. I’m at a loss for words. I knew this day would come, but not now. How fortunate we are to have been touched by his deep faith and kindness.
From John Sipe ’61/’65 — Bernie, We have lost a dear friend and great Johnnie. May he rest in peace. — John
From Fr. Don Talafous OSB — Wayne was the most civilized and gentle spokesperson for his deep and genuine faith. It came from him in his natural and profound trust in the Lord. We were fortunate to have him among our friends. We benefited from his words and his bearing. May heaven welcome him and console his family and friends. — Don
From Colleen Lilly ’81 — Sick to my stomach. So sad. At least he did not linger in pain. Such a faithful servant. My parents will have another heavenly Johnnie on the 50 yard line for Johnnie games! God bless Marge [Wayne’s wife]. — Colleen
From Gary Fasching ’81 — What a tragedy, I was talking with Wayne just last week about the 1953 team that was John's [Gagliardi] first team, and Wayne was the QB of that team. We had planned on doing a reunion/recognition of that team during the game on September 2nd. — Gary
From Jim Bassett ’58 — Ouch! That has to be about the worst email message I’ve ever received. Wayne has been a great friend of mine for seventy years. We were fellow freshmen at SJU in the fall of 1953. In my mind he’s been the prototype of the best Johnnie ever. He’ll be immeasurably missed by anyone who crossed paths with him over the years. — Jim B
From Rob Culligan ’82 — I, too, am at a loss for words. Wayne was such a remarkable, gentle, kind man. A true gentleman and a great Johnnie. Today Saint John’s lost some of its heart and soul. Below you will find the last email message that Wayne sent me earlier this summer on June 25…
Subject: Christmas Card
Rob, I had a delightful surprise this morning during prayer. I found your Christmas card buried in some of my prayer stuff. I love those cards, your dad's art, and must have set it aside at Christmas for future glances at it. Apparently today was meant to be the day of rediscovery. I said a little prayer for you and your dad. I'm grateful to you both. — Wayne
From Fr. Larry Gillick, SJ — O no! I had not heard of Wayne’s passing. Please send me anything, any information. His wife’s address, this is a shock. We wrote two weeks ago, I sent him a few word-puzzles which he loved. O boy, that does hurt. Prayers for him for a long time. Thank you. — L. G., S.J.
(Note: Fr. Gillick is a blind Jesuit priest at Creighton University who was particularly close to Wayne; the two of them worked together during retreats at Demontreville Jesuit Retreat House with Wayne being the only layman ever allowed to conduct parts of retreats there. Fr. Gillick loves SJU football and particularly listening to Mark Lewandowski over the computer from Omaha because of his passion and "homer" personality. Wayne took him up to St. John's once to meet Mark and Gary F. and others.)
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Ben Bartch Watch —
From Pete Hill ’76, Fernandina Beach, FL — Big Ben is coming back! Please share with the group. — Pete
https://jaguarswire.usatoday.com/2023/08/24/ben-bartch-return-injury-jaguars-left-guard/
(Note: Here’s some additional Hurricane Idalia news from Pete, up here for the game):
Hi Rob, yes, Barb is back in Florida. I offered to fly back home last night, but she said I couldn’t get back if I tried. We have a close network of friends she can rely on for help. We live on a curve on Champlain Drive, and I call our group the Champlain Curve Posse or the CCP for short. ;-) She isn’t worried other than losing power for her remote work and air conditioning, of course. However, our neighbors on either side have back up generators and have offered to drop us a power line or even put us up if needed. Today is the big day for the storm and we’ll see what happens. Both Barb and I graduated in 1976.
Yesterday, my brothers and I drove up here to Glenwood, “the true source of the Mississippi!,” according to our son, Lincoln Hill, via St. John’s. Classes had started the day before and it was quite a sight watching all the freshly scrubbed Johnnies and Bennies line up for the Bennie Bus. And as I noted Chris’ consternation last year about my lack of Johnnie red, I hit the bookstore for some new garb. That said, warn her there will be some definite Florida accents to my big red ensemble. All the best to all y’all. I look forward to seeing you both at the game where I can update you on Barb’s hurricane adventures. — Pete
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What A Guy! —
Here’s Frank Vascellaro, who with his wife Amelia Santaniello, are parents to Joe Vascellaro, a junior offensive lineman. Frank and Amelia co-host the evening news of CBS-affiliated WCCO-TV in Minneapolis-St. Paul. In a summer segment Frank advertised his allegiance to SJU while fishing with station confreres up on Lake Minnewaska in Glenwood, Minnesota.
https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/video/wcco-goes-fishing-on-lake-minnewaska/
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A Very Sad Tale —
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual when her husband's coworker, Tim, arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've something to tell you."
"Of course you can come in. You're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to tell you, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery."
"Oh, God, no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."
"I'm sorry, Brenda. Your husband, Shamus, is dead."
"How did it happen, Tim?" Brenda asked in tears.
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
Oh, my dear Lord! Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, no, he got out three times to pee."
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Two Irish Bills, Please —
Contributed by Peg Marrin ’65 (sort of), Dallas, TX —
One August morning at the St. Paul Hotel, one Irish Catholic Bill strikes up a conversation with another Irish Catholic Bill with this question: "Are you who I think you are?"
The Bill with an undergraduate degree from St. John's is not surprised when the gracious Ghostbuster with an Honorary Doctorate of Humanities from Regis University in Denver replies, "I am Bill Murray. Who are you?"
The first Bill replies, "I am Bill Marrin, father of Molly Marrin, the head coach of the Regis Women's Basketball team. What a coincidence that I should run into you because as we speak my daughter and my wife are in Italy with the Regis Rangers, the 2023 winners of the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference. Can we take a selfie to send to Molly and the team?"
The friendly comic's off-the-wall response was, "Sure, but first let me pick up this bowl of fruit."
(Editor’s Note: Lest people be confused, it’s our Bill Marrin ’61/’65 on the right, and not the bowl of fruit…although some folks wonder at times.)
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Frank Foster Celebratory Lunch —
Photo of this year’s annual Frank Foster ‘78 lunch. 16-20 of Frank’s friends and classmates visited him in Eau Claire, WI, in late July.
First Row, L to R: Tim Ward, John Conlin, Linda and Frank Foster, Dave Hawkins. Second Row, L to R: John Goodrich, Jerry Felicelli, Jeff Norman, John Mee, John Benda. Third Row, L to R: Valentine Karaljic, Tom Kost, Rick Renner, Pete Lenhardt, Steve Hanson, and Mike Mareness.
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Stagg Bowl Party People —
It is a 20-year tradition for an ever-changing group of Johnnies and Bennies to follow the D-III football season to its conclusion by gathering together to watch the Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl together somewhere. This past December it was at Manning’s back room in SE Minneapolis. We watched a pretty good game, at least in the fourth quarter when Mt. Union gallantly tried to catch up with victor North Central. The final score was 28-21, but NC really was in charge for most of the game. You can see the highlights of this game here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvBNAEtphSM
It’s pretty sobering to think about how many people North Central is bringing back. Might be the same two teams going at it again this December.
From left, John Ditzler ’58/‘62, Julie Ditzler, Bob Wicker ’60/’64, Lynn McKasy, Tom McKasy ’60/‘64, Colleen Lilly ’81, Jeff Norman ’78, Tim Ward ’78, Ron Tomczik ’65, Chris Scholl, John Sipe ’61/’65. Photo graciously taken by Billy Kauffmann '88.
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With Apologies to Mary Poppins —
A young Bennie, extraordinarily attractive in personality, character, and presentation, was suffering from an illness that made her lips cracked and sore. The slightest movement of her mouth caused pain and embarrassment.
Her condition, though not cured, was somewhat relieved by the application of a prescription medication from her physician. The instructions on the prescription were to apply the medication once a day, but the young woman found that more frequent applications were palatable and effective.
After exhausting her supply, she returned to the doctor's office for another one. The receptionist announced the returning patient to the doctor: "It's the super gal with the fragile lips expecting extra doses."
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
Being Nice Can Help You Live Longer:
As long as you don't sacrifice yourself, volunteering and helping others may reduce chronic inflammation, potentially warding off sickness. That's why Tristan Inagaki, social psychologist, tells her stressed-out students to try focusing more on other people.
"We are a social species," she said. "We've evolved to care."
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THE FINAL WORD —
A priest in a small village was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, so the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little to show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional.
In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, Father, forgive me, for I have sinned."
The priest asks, "What did you do?"
The woman says, "I committed adultery."
"How many times?" asks the priest.
"Three times," came the reply.
"Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the poor box, and go and sin no more."
A few minutes later, another woman enters the confessional. She says, Father, forgive me, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do?"
Woman: "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?"
Woman: "Three times.”
Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the poor box, and go and sin no more."
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it, so the priest leaves.
A few minutes later, another woman enters and says, Father, forgive me, for I have sinned."
Rabbi: "What did you do?"
Woman: "I committed adultery."
Rabbi: "How many times?"
Woman: "Just once."
Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5.”
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And that’s it for our 2023 inaugural issue. Be sure to root hard, often and most audibly for our Jays in what should be a barn-burner of a game.
And remember:
De-Stripe the Tigers ! !
(Or something like that.)
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Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697
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