Ready or Not...it's Time to Kick Off (UUN #2-21)
Dear Readers —
St. John’s football is finally back! Been a long time a-comin’, too.
The first game of the new 2021 season begins this Saturday with a home game against #23-ranked Aurora University of Aurora, IL. Although this contest comes over the Labor Day Weekend — a not-always-well-attended game — I would hope that the quality of our initial opponent will go a long way in filling up our seats, especially by the reserved seat holders who leave embarrassing gaps right in the middle of the stands when they don’t use their tickets for holiday weekends and laugher games. My wish is for the public address announcer to say, sometime after the middle of the first quarter, that fans are welcome to fill those vacancies…as long as they make some noise in support of the Johnnies.
Last issue it was reported in the Unofficial Underground News that our coaching staff is guardedly optimistic about our pretty much untested team, despite the extraordinary loss of so much experience and talent on both sides of the ball to graduation after the thrilling 2019 season. We have a new quarterback, new offensive line, fairly-new linebackers, and virtually new secondary…so questions abound. We played no games last fall, while Aurora played three in their abbreviated season. Pity that we have to face such talented team right out of the box.
And just who is this talented Aurora bunch? Well, for one thing, in my opinion D3football.com has them ranked about ten spots too low, while SJU comes in at the preseason ranking as #6. I believe we received that high recognition based on our annual history of success more than knowledge of who we are at this point this season. As Jeff Norman ’78 recently observed: “It’s hard to rank a team #6 that has a starting QB that hasn’t taken one snap in a college game.” But Aurora? They have the same quarterback — Gavin Zimbelman — who nearly upset us in the second play-off game in Collegeville when we last played, scoring 47 points to our 51. We, notably, no longer have Jackson Erdmann. Additionally they have tight end Colton Jewell. Both of these young gentlemen are named to D3football’s Preseason All-American team on the First Team Offense. We have none on the first team although our Ravi Alston made Second Team Offense at wide receiver. (North Central seems loaded for D-III bear again with four first team selections.) Here is the link to the Preseason All-Americans:
https://www.d3football.com/awards/all-americans/2021-preseason
Speaking of North Central, ranked #3 after #1 Mary Hardin-Baylor and #2 Mount Union, poor Aurora faces them for their second non-conference game. It’s obvious the Spartans’ coach Don Beebe wants his team to prove its mettle against top D-III teams before skipping through its conference to the play-offs. For those interested in the pre-season rankings, I’ve included the D3football link below; you’ll see lots of familiar perennially-potent teams listed. Interestingly, our neighbors to the east — UW-Whitewater and UW-Oshkosh — are also in the top ten, while Bethel University of our own MIAC is ranked #16. Receiving points are UW-LaCrosse and UW-Platteville, demonstrating once again how strong the WIAC is every year.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2021/preseason
According to SJU coach Gary Fasching ’81, Aurora will be a challenge, but he says we made a lot of mistakes during our first game with them that he hopes our coaching staff has corrected and prepared for. I won’t make any kind of prediction for the outcome, other than I expect it won’t be as high scoring — at least I hope it won't. I just don’t know what this Johnnie team is yet. Too bad we couldn’t play a less-talented team for the first game but that’s how the schedule played out. Nevertheless, the outcome of this first game, win or lose, will tell us a great deal about our fortunes for the rest of the year. Gary said a few things tonight in a radio interview: first, we have to contain Zimbelman in the pocket; if he gets out — like he did two years ago — he's particularly dangerous. Although we're inexperienced in many positions, Gary believes we're faster now. He also said (and the proof will be in the pudding) that our kicking game looks to be improved. He's always a bit nervous for a first game but he's really excited for the lads to get out there and show their stuff.
For your homework, here’s a link to that infamous 2019 play-off game against Aurora; while it was terrifying to live through, now it’s mighty entertaining football to watch …if it’s too long to view in its entirety, just move the time over to about ten or fifteen minutes left to get an idea. (Note: NCAA rules forbid any commentary other than the PA announcer so it’s just Timo [Fr. Timothy Backous] calling the first downs and scoring.):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoeUvJ-l0y8
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SJU 2021 Football Schedule
(All games are played on Saturdays, beginning at 1 pm)
Date Opponent Location
Sep. 4 Aurora Collegeville
Sep. 11 Bye
Sep. 18 Martin Luther Collegeville
Sep. 25 Bethel Collegeville
Oct. 2 Concordia Moorhead, MN
Oct. 9 Augsburg Collegeville (Homecoming)
Oct. 16 St. Olaf* Collegeville ( Family Weekend)
Oct. 23 Gustavus* St. Peter, MN
Oct. 30 St. Scholastica* Collegeville
Nov. 6 Carleton* Northfield, MN
Nov. 13 MIAC Championship Week TBD
(* With St. John’s, these teams are also part of the MIAC’s new Northwoods Division.)
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Around the MIAC —
Bethel at North Park (A small evangelical university in Chicago) - BU wins
Crown at Hamline - HU should take ‘em
Valley City State (No.Dak.) at Concordia - Cobbers quite easily
Central (Iowa) at St. Olaf - Central, maybe big
Sewanee (Tenn.) at St. Scholastica - Who knows?, probably Sewanee
Gustavus at Buena Vista - Gusties, if you believe their hype
Augsburg at Ripon - Auggies, maybe
Minn.-Morris at Macalester - Morris, I hope
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Notes From the Football Whisperer —
I attended practice yesterday. Highlights: Scoreboard much bigger than I thought. Offensive players that impressed, #3 Ravi Alston, WR, Senior, Lake Elsinore, CA, patterns and catches; #6 Aaron Syverson,QB, Soph, Minnetonka, he has all the throws and timing—outstanding; #25 Devin Vouk, RB, Senior, St. Cloud State Transfer from Sartell, great visibility and fast through the holes; #83 Alex Larson, TE, Junior, Woodbury, gets open and really big.
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Biology 101 at Aurora U. —
"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the Biology prof to his class of first-year students while putting a worm into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey.
It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" he asked.
Derek, a frosh defensive lineman, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and responded confidently, "Drink whisky and you won't get worms."
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About Aurora —
Aurora University is located in Aurora, IL, a pleasant western suburb of Chicago. It was established in 1893 and currently has about 6,300 students, including 4,100 undergraduates. Its nickname is the Spartans and colors are royal blue and white.
It began as a seminary for the Advent Christian Church in Mendota, IL before becoming Mendota College after broadening into a traditional liberal arts curriculum. In 1911 residents in nearby Aurora raised funds to build a college in the town and Mendota College moved its operation to the town and changed its name to Aurora College. In 1971, Aurora College separated from the Advent Christian Church, and in 1985, changed its name to Aurora University to better reflect the breadth of its academic programs.
Today Aurora University offers 40 undergraduate majors, numerous minors, a wide variety of master's degrees, several graduate certificates in education, nursing and business, and online doctoral degrees in education and social work.
Aurora fields 22 NCAA Division III intercollegiate athletic teams, 11 each for men and women. Approximately 40 percent of the student population participates in intercollegiate sports. Almost all Spartan athletic teams compete in the Northern Athletics Collegiate Conference. Aurora University athletic teams have captured 123 conference championships in school history. Since joining the NCAA in 1982, AU men's and women's teams have won 103 conference championships and appeared in 59 NCAA tournaments.
The Spartans are picked — overwhelmingly and not surprisingly — to capture their conference’s football crown. AU finished 9-2 overall and a perfect 7-0 in league play en route to the 2019 NACC crown, then posted a 3-0 mark to capture the South Division title in the abbreviated Spring 2021 campaign. St. Norbert is picked to take second place with Benedictine close behind.
AU has an impressive coach, Don Beebe; he became head coach in November of 2018 and was named NACC Coach of the Year in 2019, his first season. He played nine seasons in the NFL for the Buffalo Bills and the Green Bay Packers as a gutsy, very speedy wide receiver. He played in six Super Bowls. After retiring from the NFL, Beebe founded House of Speed, in Aurora, which specializes in training athletes to perform better by enhancing speed and character. He also coached Aurora Christian High School to two state championships.
Aurora QB Gavin Zimbelman #10 gave the SJU defense fits the last time we met.
Beebe’s quarterback, Gavin Zimbelman, is not only a talented player but also a two-time Academic All-American and a recent finalist for the Gagliardi Trophy. In addition to Zimbelman, five other Spartans were recognized as All-Region players by d3football.com in 2019. Zimbelman threw for 3,614 yards and 57 TDs for the Spartans (9-2) in 2019. The Spartans also feature Tyran Bailey, an impressive running who had 177 touches during the Spartans’ most recent full season in 2019. He had 988 yards rushing and 245 yards receiving and scored 11 touchdowns.
As an aside, Beebe’s son Chad has been a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings, if you recognize that name.
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Battle Between the Sexes, Part 1 —
Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup.
While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, “I don’t like the way he looks.”
“Neither do I,” she said. “But he’s handy around the house.”
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Battle Between the Sexes, Part 2 —
While in the checkout line at Home Depot I overheard one man say to another, "My wife has been after me to paint our shed. But I let it go for so long she got mad and did it herself."
His friend nodded. "I like women who get mad like that."
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Battle Between the Sexes, Part 3 —
A husband and a wife enter a dentist’s office. The wife says, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You’re a brave woman,” says the dentist, “Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”
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Battle Between the Sexes, Part 4 —
Joe's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked, "Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?"
Looking over her carefully, Joe replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty-five."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Joe interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."
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Eyeballs on St. Thomas —
Yes, here’s some info on that school we love to hate. Sure, they’re no longer in the MIAC to arrogantly bully, intimidate, and humiliate their often overwhelmed opponents, particularly in football, but, still, their transition to D-I in athletics is an interesting story.
For the most part, we now wish them well and remain curious as to how they will fare in their various new conferences and if they will make new enemies with their individual and institutional behavior of past years. We know it’s going to be very, very expensive so it’s good that some of the deep-pocketed UST alumni will belly up to pay for many new, incredible expenses. In football alone, the Toms will have to travel afar this season — sometimes by chartered air I presume, to Houghton, MI; Cedar Rapids, IA; San Diego, CA; Deland, FL; Davidson, NC; and Des Moines, IA. New recruiting slogan: Join the Tommies and see the world.
Item 1: Here’s UST’s initial schedule:
https://tommiesports.com/sports/football/schedule
(Note: Their first game, against tiny Illinois-based U. of St. Francis (NAIA), was cancelled due to Covid on the part of St. Francis, UST claiming 100% team vaccination. Just as well — it would have been another massacre of the type the Tommies usually inflicted on St. Olaf, Carleton, Hamline and Augsburg.)
Item 2: It’s going to cost a bundle, eventually, for D-I-type athletic facilities:
Item 3: UST finds a new radio station for its major sports:
https://www.twincities.com/2021/09/01/st-thomas-kstp-am-enter-agreement-to-broadcast-tommies-sports/
Item 4: Gone, but not forgotten — Thoughts on Coach Glenn Caruso:
At the recent SJU football kickoff luncheon, both athletic director Bob Alpers ’82 and head coach Gary Fasching ’81 related brief anecdotes about St. Thomas in their remarks.
First Bob, while explaining the high character of St. John’s student-athletes, told of conferring with another MIAC AD at a conference meeting. That person said, “Getting beat by St. John’s isn’t so bad compared to teams like St. Thomas…with your guys there’s none of that extracurricular stuff.”
And in his comments, Gary told of one of the meetings of MIAC ADs and coaches to discuss the removal of St. Thomas from the conference. As various school representatives made their case that UST no longer fit the league and expressed their dismay with lop-sided scores run up by UST, Coach Caruso argued back, “Well, what about St. John’s? They just beat us 40-20 [Note: that was the game before we beat them 38-20 the next year]. Why aren’t they being asked to leave?” Gary said that one of the coaches replied, “That’s because St. John’s is one of us and they treat us the right way.”
One would hope that now St. Thomas, along with Glenn, his players, other UST athletes and the administration, would listen to this feedback and vow to strive always for excellence, maximum effort and victory, but to conduct themselves with class, dignity, sportsmanship and kindness to their new opponents.
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Pre-Law, Tommie-Style—
Two very competitive law students at the University of St. Thomas Law School were walking along, discussing a case study they had been given for a class assignment. Although they were supposed to be helping each other prepare for the test, each one was trying to outfox the other by raising false points to mislead his classmate so as to score higher himself.
“Look,” said one Tommie finally to the other, “let's be honest with each other.”
“Okay, you first,” replied the other Tom.
That was the end of the discussion.
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St. John's Abbey Church gets a pipe organ worthy of its space —
https://www.mprnews.org/story/2021/08/19/st-johns-abbey-church-gets-a-pipe-organ-worthy-of-its-space
(Note: Within the linked article there is the 4-minute MPR audio report of this story that is similar to the written version but enhanced. The article and radio report feature comments by KC Marrin SJP ’67/SJU ’71 and Fr. Bob Koopman.)
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Mistaken Identity —
An overweight young woman wearing a University of St. Thomas sweatshirt was walking east in the center boulevard of Summit Avenue leading a duck on a leash.
Coming west on the same path was a young man wearing a Macalester sweatshirt. He stopped and said, “Where did you get that pig?”
The Tommie co-ed answered imperiously, “It’s not a pig, it’s a duck.”
And the Scot replied, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
(Compliments to brothers Bill and Dan Marrin.)
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Time For a UUN Musical Interlude —
Playing For Change/Song Around The World is a group that intends to bring the world together through music. This song, Come As You Are (originally by Nirvana) is sung and played by 16 musicians collaborating in Washington, California, Tennessee, Morocco, Australia, Brazil, Argentina, Mali, Nepal, Hungary, China and France. Fascinating, colorful and fun (3:56 min.):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnNHJWbMNDg
Still want more? Try on La Bamba (3:52 min.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5dkwQY-_tk
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From Our Readers —
From Terry Kotnour ’64, our man in New Yawk City —
Glad to have you back, but one question? Who keeps a Mac for 12 years?
(Editor’s Explanation: The same kind of guy who drives a 30-year-old car and still uses a flip top phone.)
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From Tim Ward ‘78, St. Paul, MN —
Wick, When did Carleton move from Northfield to Cannon Falls? — Tim
(Editor’s Chagrin: Oops, caught that, did ya? Yep, Carleton’s on the Cannon River and they have a falls in town, but — nope —the Knights did not move downstream to Cannon Falls.)
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From Jim McDonough 95, Salt Lake City, UT —
I welcome this back!
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From Vince Kinney ’63, Minneapolis, MN & Phoenix, AZ —
Great start to the season, Rob.
Here's one I heard at the Irish Fair on Harriet Island in St Paul last weekend: Charles Dickens enters a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive 'r twist?” Regards, Vince
(Editor’s Response: Vince, not bad for a Math major.)
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From John Chromy ’64, Washington, DC —
Thanks Bob---off to a very good start this UUN. Cheers, John
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From Greg Harren [unknown year/location but at least he subscribes] —
The best email message of the day!! Thank you. — Greg
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From Vic Murphy ’92, St. Paul, MN —
Look what I scored today at a vintage shop on Selby!
(Editor’s Reply: I’m not sure but I think that T-shirt originally belonged to Fr. Mike Byron ’81. He claims he lost one just like it on the way back to campus. By the way, I’ll see your shirt and raise you one.)
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From Tony Sandeen ’94, Hong Kong, HKSAR—
Wick, Great to see the UUN back; thanks, as always for your time and enthusiasm putting this together. Attributing me as a '91 grad means you think I look old (doubtful) or believe I completed my entire load in one year. I'm a proud grad of the class of 1994. Hope to see you in Collegeville on the 4th. Cheers, — Tony
(Editor’s Clarification: You were listed in the Class of ’91 because we all figured no one in the Class of ’94 could have accomplished all that you have that soon after graduation.)
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From Bill Schulte ’65, Roseville, CA —
Hey Bob, It was great to see this again. Thanks for keeping me on your list. I still have my little SJU shrine in the bookcase in my office. I’m going to forward this to Steve May in case he is not on your list. — Bill
(Editor’s Note: Actually Steve May has been on the UUN list longer than Bill; in fact, Steve is the one who put Bill on the list. How soon they forget!)
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From Conrad Macina, UUN Volunteer Humorologist, , NJ —
I’m so glad there’s going to be a football season this year. And I’m glad that the UUN is back. It’s been a long dry spell. Here’s little contribution, based on real events. — Conrad
Things I Learned Cooking Bacon for Mom on Mothers’ Day
When cooking bacon in the oven, use the right temperature. Don’t just set it to 350 because “everything seems to cook at 350º.”
The right temperature is a state secret known only to Moms.
If the bacon isn’t cooking fast enough, turning the oven up to a higher temperature will make it cook faster.
This, however, is not a good idea.
Cats don’t like it when the smoke alarm goes off.
They put Mothers’ Day in May because it’s warm enough to open the windows to clear the smoke.
(Editor’s Addition: The thing I learned was not to cook bacon when wearing a bathing suit.)
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From Tom Troskey ‘67, St. Paul, MN —
Great to see you “back in the saddle.” Always enjoy your newsletter. Thank you. — Tom
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From Harry “Roadblock” Acker, Honorary Johnnie, Virginia Beach, VA —
Good Morning! Hope all is well with you. Enjoyed reading the Johnnies newsletter. Wish the very best for a great '21 season. All the best to you and yours. — Harry
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From Dave Wendt ’63, Edina, MN —
Bob, Great job as always. Thanks. — Dave
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From Don Hall SJP ’55/SJU ’59, Minneapolis, MN —
Bob, Before you retire, know that you have entertained many and that your years of work are very much appreciated. — Don
Here’s a candidate for the UUN’s Battle of the Sexes:
A guy was looking for advice on how to improve his marriage and was told to try to re-enact the excitement of their first date.. Good idea, he thought. Tonight I’m going to take her out for dinner and then let her off at her parents.
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From Sister Lois Wedl, OSB '53, St. Benedict's Monastery —
My three Johnnies! Or more accurately, two Johnnies and a Joe...or two Johnnies and a Johnnie alum, but they are all Johnnies.
From left are Joe Wedl '25; John Wedl '91; and Johnny Wedl '22. John is the proud dad and I'm the proud aunt. Oh, and yes, John's wife and the boy's mother is a Bennie — Megan Brennan Wedl '92 — S. Lois
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From Denny Bracco ’75, Elmwood Park, IL —
Good UUN! Nice first edition. I will try to run out to watch Aurora practice before the first game. It's not that far for me and I won't wear my St. John's hat. BTW, Aurora opens up on the road with us, then the next week travels over to their neighbors in Naperville to play NCAA Champion North Central. Nothing like beefing up your schedule!
Might we expect a summary of your/our expectations for the SJU Football Train as it "Choo-choos" toward a real season on Saturday? We love to hear you "waxing eloquently" when it comes to discussing The Big Red Machine. And by the way...don't you think that the Lovable Losers in purple from down in Saint Paul have taken a step backward in their football program by joining the Pioneer League?
The PIONEER LEAGUE? My son played baseball at Valparaiso, and he said the football team was the biggest joke on campus. But I'm sure they'll run up the score on teams like Stetson and San Diego, as well as Valpo.
(Editor’s Interjection: But wait, Denny! UST is now D-I but without offering (ahem) athletic scholarships. This is about a more pure athletics for serious students who are practicing the ideals of good sportsmanship.)
The last time SJU played here in Chicagoland was that legendary win at Wheaton, at which a treasured Johnnie Alum, Dennis Cusack '81, was there along with his dear classmate and roommate, Bob Walsh '81, cheering the Johnnies on as we all did. Both attended my Alma Mater, Fenwick HS in Oak Park, albeit a few years later than yours truly ('75). Sadly, Denny passed away on July 27, while on a business trip in Texas for his law firm. He will truly be missed and was the ultimate Johnnie fan.
Fenwick is home to legendary alums such as Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Lattner, who then played at Notre Dame. Others were Olympic Gold Medalist Diver Ken Sitzberger, Astronaut Gene Cernan, numerous athletes who went on to play major college Football, Basketball, and Baseball. and too many to note here.
Stay the course...I think SJU will have a great year. — DMB '75
(Editor’s Note: For a peek at the most improbable ending of the Wheaton-St. John’s game, go to this link and then move the time forward to about ten minutes remaining — unbelievable:)
34-33 over Wheaton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgH5xfGaJOA
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From Joe Sacquitne, Honorary Johnnie, Seattle, WA —
Wicker, So glad you’re back in the saddle (so to speak). Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be making a trek back to see family and attend a game or two this year but being able to listen online is a great way to stay engaged. I also wanted you to know the Bar-J Wranglers are ending their show after 25+ years, sad to hear, but thought the attached pic might bring back some great memories. I hope you and Chris are well and sending you a little humor below….. Go Johnnies….. Joe
(Editor’s Explanation: Joe (left) and I rendezvoused at the Bar-J cattle ranch and music hall in Jackson Hole, WY about four summers ago. He and some friends made an annual trip on their bikes to enjoy the Grand Tetons and to hear the Bar-J Wranglers, a mostly family Cowboy singing group. Chris and I were in that glorious area with my daughters and their spouses for a family celebration and gladly took in the Bar-J entertainment at Joe’s recommendation. Joe's joke, going back to his Stearns County roots, follows:)
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From John Wolkerstorfer '64,
Welcome back! — John W
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From Deacon Tom Weiss SJP '66/SJU '70, New Richmond, WI —
Rob, I hope this does not get me kicked off the UUN listing but I had had to tell a short story about UW Whitewater.
The UW Whitewater head coach Kevin Bullis is a former equipment manager and assistant coach at UW River Falls. One of the assistant coaches for UWW is John O’Grady, Special teams coach, retired Head Coach of UW River Falls. And one of UWW Sports Performance Coaches is John Schimenz, a former player at UW River Falls, a very active Newman Participant and a great kid and I am doing his wedding in November in Milwaukee!
Wow, you would think that would get me kicked out of the SJU/SJP alum community but… I still bleed Johnnie red and would never root for UW Whitewater, well, unless they were playing Mount Union or UW Stevens Point. We hate Stevens Point for a lot of reasons, not the least is … they wear Purple!
— Tom Weiss, MUCH younger brother of Jim SJU '65 and father of a bunch more SJU/CSB types!
(Editor's Clarification: Tom is also married to a Bennie, the former Mary '70, a fact he neglected to mention. One would think, what with all that UW-River Falls coaching talent that moved over to nationally-ranked UW-Whitewater, that they might have worked a little harder while in River Falls and turned out some more successful teams in the WIAC.)
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From John Sipe SJP '61/SJU '65, St. Paul, MN —
Bob, Nice job on the Underground. I appreciate the way you outlined the Gagliardi Legacy Fund and the reasons it is important. Go Johnnies! — John
(Editor's Note: Oh-my-gosh...I almost forgot to plug the Gagliardi Legacy Fund again. Please, Johnnie Football Fans — we need you to step up in a big way to support the mission of this fund that supports the Johnnie football program. Your contributions to the Gagliardi Fund both help immediately and in the years to come. These funds help offset the costs for uniforms, travel, coaches' salaries, facilities repairs and improvements, preseason meals for players, hiring a diversity coach, and ongoing programming costs for the new video board...and these are just some of the main needs.
If you’d like to make a generous one-time donation, please send a check to St. John’s University in care of St. John’s University, PO Box 7222, Collegeville, MN 56321. Be sure to note in the check memo that your contribution is for the Gagliardi Legacy Fund.
If you would prefer to make your contribution via a credit card or receive a pledge card, please call 320-492-0851. If you’d rather make a pledge up to five years, you can notify John Young at jyoung@csbsju.edu and request a pledge form be sent to you.
Quite frankly, we need everyone reading this to contribute in some way to this effort. Thanks.)
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From Rita Wartman, wife of Phabe SJP '51/SJU '55, Excelsior, MN —
Hi Rob and Chris. What a delight for Phabe receiving your newsletter again - THANK YOU!! Phabe's physical health is good. We'll look forward to hearing from you regularly during football season. May or may not attend any games but will surely be watching at home. We (and family) have survived the pandemic so far. Be well!! — Phabe and Rita
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From Anthony (Addy) Bombich '64, Clinton, MS —
Thanks, Bob. Looking forward to the next installment! Are you doing OK? We are well here in Mississippi. —Addy
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More Scenes From Stearns County —
Papa and Mama agreed on a plan for the new year. They would move away from the Minneapolis’ mean streets and all the trouble there. Give the kids a chance with farm animals. Get close to the land. So, without a clue about country life, they moved the whole family up to rural Stearns County.
They wanted to start with pigs, so they bought a sow to breed. Their neighbors had a big Chester White boar to fill the need. The kids named their sow Betsy, and were ready for some action, but they had no idea on loading a sow for transport to the transaction. They lifted and wrestled, tugged, and pulled before getting Betsy into the trailer. Then off they went to the neighbors with everyone packed in the pickup.
All went well in the breeding shed, until loading for the return trip. The whole family got muddy and exhausted just trying to Betsy back on the trailer. The kids got up early the next morning with great anticipation. They ran out to see the little pigs, but they were disappointed. Shucks – no pigs – but the family was determined, so they went through the task again.
They had made up their minds to own a litter of pigs, they just didn’t know when. Well, after three tough but unproductive trips to the breeding shed, the next morning, only the youngest of the kids felt like checking on Betsy’s pen. One child came running back into the house with news…. he was so excited.
“There are no baby pigs, but Betsy is already in the trailer raring to go.”
(Editor’s Embarrassing Memory: This story sort reminds me of Tom McKasy’s and my hamster ranch in our sophomore year. But, unlike Joe’s Betsy, our hamsters turned on each other with my smaller one killing Tom’s large one. A literal “Battle of the Sexes.”)
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From Dave Steil ’64, Bristol, PA —
Bob, glad to have you and the UUN back. I knew there was something big missing from Fall of 2020, but being a bit elderly, I could not remember what it was. Now I know. Thanks. — Dave
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From Peg Marrin ’65, Dallas, TX —
A drunk staggers into a Catholic church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finally the priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk replies, "Ain't no use knockin’, there's no paper on this side either."
(Editor’s Comment: Peg sent this little joke to the UUN after Chris’ and my recent weekend visit to the Marrin Compound — Bay Pointe — on Pelican Lake near Pequot Lakes, MN. She also sent the earlier- mentioned MPR audio report and article on her brother-in-law KC Marrin regarding the newly-enhanced St. John’s Abbey organ, as well as the following photo proving that these Marrins maintain a not-so-subtle St. John’s presence Up North.
From left, Dan Marrin SJP ’64/SJU ’68, Bill Marrin SJP ’61/SJU ’65, and Bob Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64 are unabashed Johnnies, even in the woods.
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
10 of the Best Foods to Help You Heal
Whether you’re recovering from an illness or surgery, the foods and beverages you consume can either help or hinder your recovery. Many foods, including fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and protein sources, have been shown to reduce inflammation, improve immune function, promote healing, and provide the fuel necessary for you to get on the mend.
Here are 10 healing foods that can help your body recover:
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FINAL WORD —
Who’s On First? —
(Contributed by Chris Scholl)
Here’s a wonderful takeoff from the famous Abbot and Costello "Who's on first" routine that tries to explain some of the uncertainties surrounding Covid transmission prevention.
Bud: ‘You can’t come in here!’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Well, because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick.’
Bud: ‘It doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘Well, why does that guy get to go in?’
Bud: ‘Because he’s vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But he’s sick!’
Bud: ‘It’s alright. Everyone in here is vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying everyone in there is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Yes.’
Lou: ‘So then why can’t I go in there if everyone is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Because you’ll make them sick.’
Lou: ‘How will I make them sick if I’m NOT sick and they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘But they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘So what the heck does the vaccine do?’
Bud: ‘It vaccinates.’
Lou: ‘So vaccinated people can’t spread covid?’
Bud: ‘Oh no. They can spread covid just as easily as an unvaccinated person.’
Lou: ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Look. I’m not sick.
Bud: ‘Ok.’
Lou: ‘And the guy you let in IS sick.’
Bud: ‘That’s right.’
Lou: ‘And everybody in there can still get sick even though they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Certainly.’
Lou: ‘So why can’t I go in again?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘I’m not asking who’s vaccinated or not!’
Bud: ‘I’m just telling you how it is.’
Lou: ‘Never mind. I’ll just put on my mask.’
Bud: ‘That’s fine.’
Lou: ‘Now I can go in?’
Bud: ‘Absolutely not?’
Lou: ‘But I have a mask!’
Bud: ‘Doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘I was able to come in here yesterday with a mask.’
Bud: ‘I know.’
Lou: ‘So why can’t I come in here today with a mask? … If you say ‘because I’m unvaccinated’ again, I’ll break your arm.’
Bud: ‘Take it easy, buddy.’
Lou: ‘So the mask is no good anymore.’
Bud: ‘No, it’s still good.’
Lou: ‘But I can’t come in?’
Bud: ‘Correct.’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But the mask prevents the germs from getting out.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but people can still catch your germs.’
Lou: ‘But they’re all vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick!!’
Bud: ‘You can still get them sick.’
Lou: ‘So then masks don’t work!’
Bud: ‘Masks work quite well.’
Lou: ‘So how in the heck can I get vaccinated people sick if I’m not sick and masks work?’
Bud: ‘Third base.’
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Goodbye for now, friends. Here’s hoping for a good showing this Saturday. Weather’s supposed to be mild with clouds to avoid sunburn…come on up and get Johnniefied. But whether or not you’ll be there, always remember:
GO JOHNNIES ! !
(Spear the Spartans…or something like that.)
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Sincerely submitted,
R.L.Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64, St. Paul, MN
651-699-4697; theowick@aol.com