Eve of Bethel's Destruction (UUN #5-21)
Dear Color-Conflicted Subscribers —
You’d think that a lopsided Johnnie 55-7 victory over the spirited but undermanned Martin Luther team would be the first thing everyone is talking about. Not so. It’s all about the color of the new alternate jerseys debuted before the game. Harkening back to SJU’s (and SJP’s) early football uniforms, the powder or baby blue color put that hue back in the “Old Cardinal ’n Blue.”
Johnnie Defensive line wearing the “blue”. We don’t know if the jerseys mattered
or not, but the defense completely shut down the Martin Luther Knights.
The big problem within the crowd of 5,400 in perfect weather seemed to be that while 30% of the fans didn’t like the change, another 30% loved it, and the rest didn’t seem to care one way or the other. And while this discussion was going on, not too much was actually said about the masterful performance of our defense, which limited a D-III 5th-ranked rushing attack with an average 345 yards per game to a mere 88 yards. Martin Luther’s passing game wasn’t too effective either, garnering only 73 yards. ML’s only score came from an unfortunate pick-six, leaving the Johnnie Defense inviolate.
Sophomore wide receiver Jimmy Buck caught seven passes for 148 yards and two touchdowns, including a 69-yard score in the first quarter, while Senior tight end Alec Ganz snagged a wide-open 57 yard pass in the second, and a total of seven different players scored, with a junior Entebbe Bates, who didn’t score, thrilling the crowd with three runs gaining 72 yards, or 24 yards per carry; the kid looked like a runaway locomotive. And this was a day when the first string WRs and TE weren’t playing. Obviously we’ve got some depth.
Sophomore Jimmy Buck streaks toward one of his two touchdowns proudly
sporting his new baby blue jersey.
You can read about the game here:
Second Game Brings Many Firsts in 55-7 Win
https://gojohnnies.com/news/2021/9/18/football-second-game-brings-many-firsts-in-55-7-win.aspx
The situation after the game was that ordinarily playing a team this over-matched should have given us close to our final score in the first half and then the scrubs would have been given much more time to play in the second. One negative that jumped out to many of us was that we continued to make some thoughtless, inattentive mistakes, and even played down to our opponent’s level in some ways. In other words, we succeeded notably despite ourselves. Gary told the team in the post-game huddle that if we played the same kind of game against Bethel this week we would lose. Now that’s a stark wake-up call.
The fact is, we still don’t know how good we really are and what SJU team will show up Saturday. On paper we should win in a close, hard-fought contest. Statistically we are ranked higher in both our passing and running games, but they are ranked higher in their pass defense and ball control, preferring to ram the ball down their opponents throats and wear them down. The Bethel quarterback, Jaran Roste, is a solid passer, but he also commands a slick running game; they will utilize ball control to keep our offense off the field. Our defense will really earn their spurs after this one; sure hope our secondary is up to the task. They’ve now had a couple of games to work out the kinks from both youthful inexperience and then not playing for so long. The result may come down to kicking…sure glad we’ve bolstered that part of our game.
This game will no doubt be the biggest challenge of the young season — two top-ranked Division III teams that know each other pretty well. While the Aurora game was exciting, this game is for real and it will be intense. And then the next week we have to travel to Moorhead and face the Cobbers. And then, three games later out there in the boonies, lies Gustavus, ready to clean our clocks, as they like to believe. We have to take all these one at a time, and it all starts with the Royals. Good weather is again forecast, and we should have another super crowd on hand, probably much like that surprisingly large, audible mob for the Aurora game. Fans should come early, visit the tailgate, stroll the campus, hit the Bookstore, and soak up the difficult-to-surpass St. John’s game-day atmosphere.
A Word About Those Baby Blue Uniforms —
As mentioned, some fans didn’t like them at all, thought they didn’t project the tradition and power of Johnnie Red. One d3football chat room denizen, and I’m not sure if he was a Johnnie, suggested that SJU fans should gather all those new jerseys and throw them into a bonfire during Homecoming.
Others didn’t object so much to the color as to the difficulty in reading the player numbers on the backs. Still others, such as Wayne Hergott ’57, John Gagliardi’s first quarterback, thought they were just terrific and recalled our uniforms back in the mid-50s where we wore the old Cardinal and Blue. It was said, however, that John himself didn’t like them for a few reasons.
Gary said in his post-game radio interview that initially he was against them, even as the team throughout the past seasons requested them. But our uniform supplier has a deal where we get new jerseys for free every couple of years from our purchases of other uniform parts. We were supposed to get them last year but with Covid there were no games. The supplier offered them this year and suggested that Gary use the blue since the team had requested them. At first Gary said no, but then, most secretly, agreed to do it. Only his wife and one other person knew about it.
The uniform unveiling to the team came the morning of the Marlin Luther game. Here is a link to their reaction, a reaction that really should end the discussion amongst the fans:
Jersey Unveil
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVa4qE0krO8
However, for the Bethel game, Gary said we’ll be in our red jerseys. So everyone can relax for a while.
* * * *
Bethel 101 Chemistry Class —
The Bethel University associate professor was teaching her introductory Chemistry class to first year students. Holding a little review of the previous lesson, she asked, “What is the chemical formula for water? Anyone? Miss Larson?
Sarah Larson looked up and proudly stated, “H I J K L M N O!!”
The puzzled teacher asked, “What are you talking about?”
The young woman earnestly replied, “Well, last Monday you said it's H to O!”
* * * *
Understanding the Gagliardi Legacy Fund —
Male College Enrollment Sees Large Decline
The enrollment gap between men and women at U.S. colleges and universities is the widest it’s ever been. During the school year that ended in May 2021, women accounted for 59.5% of all college students, an all-time high. Conversely, men accounted for 40.5%, an all-time low.
For perspective, in 1975 men accounted for 54% of college students, declining steadily since:
To put the decline into context, overall enrollment at American colleges and universities has declined by 1.5M students over the past 5 years, and men have accounted for 71% of the decline. (Data from the National Student Clearinghouse by way of the WSJ).
There are signs the gender enrollment gap will continue to widen. For the current 2021-22 academic year, male college applicants totaled 2.8M, compared to women at 3.8M, a 35% difference and larger than the disparity last year. Douglas Shapiro, the executive director at the National Student Clearinghouse, said that if the trend continues, two women will receive college degrees for every one man within the next few years.
So, here’s how these demographics hit home at St. John’s. There are fewer young men available for traditional colleges, and the supply is decreasing rapidly. There is great competition for students, and many of those new students need more financial aid than ever before. With fewer spaces being filled by male students, there are fewer dollars in tuition, board and room that pay the bills. And with fewer dollars, budgets are slimming down continually. Colleges, including St. John’s, just don’t have the money to fund all their institutional needs, including their athletic departments.
In this case, however, we have the opportunity to make up the difference in lost budgeting by helping to build a fund that is large enough to pay for various vital day-to-day and annual incidentals that help SJU keep running a top notch football program, while maintaining enough of the fund’s principle to keep growing in the future.
In checking with Bernie Weber SJP ’63/SJU ’67 about the Gagliardi Fund-raising progress he said,”Our efforts are producing nice results. We have to remember every dollar we raise is a dollar SJU did not have. To that end, the money is rolling in steadily. Johnnies really want to help. We are going to put a drop-dead date of Nov. 15 for filling out the pledge brochure. Sending in pledged funds can be done at a future time. All told we are over $2.5 million, about half way to our to our $5 million goal.”
Those ready to donate to the fund now can send a check to St. John’s University in care of St. John’s University, PO Box 7222, Collegeville, MN 56321. Be sure to note in the check memo that your tax-deductible contribution is for the Gagliardi Legacy Fund.
If you would prefer to make your contribution via a credit card, please call 320-492-0851. If you’d rather make a pledge up to five years, you can notify John Young at jyoung@csbsju.edu and request a pledge form be sent to you. Or perhaps you can pick up a form at a home game.
* * * *
SJU 2021 Football Schedule
(All games are played on Saturdays, beginning at 1 pm)
Date Opponent Location
Sep. 4 Aurora Collegeville W 39-33
Sep. 11 Bye
Sep. 18 Martin Luther Collegeville W 55-7
Sep. 25 Bethel Collegeville
Oct. 2 Concordia Moorhead, MN
Oct. 9 Augsburg Collegeville (Homecoming)
Oct. 16 St. Olaf* Collegeville ( Family Weekend)
Oct. 23 Gustavus* St. Peter, MN
Oct. 30 St. Scholastica* Collegeville
Nov. 6 Carleton* Northfield, MN
Nov. 13 MIAC Championship Week TBD
(* With St. John’s, these teams are also part of the MIAC’s new Northwoods Division.)
* * * *
AROUND THE MIAC —
4th Week, Saturday, Sept. 25
Augsburg at St. Scholastica — The Saints up in Duluth are an unknown quantity in the MIAC but I bet the Auggies take them anyway, 24-14.
Hamline at Carleton — After the Pipers showing against Morris, I’m thinking the Knights will clobber them 43-26.
Macalester at St. Olaf — The Oles will thrash the Scots, but not as badly as did Trinity down in Texas. St. Olaf 38-9.
Concordia at Gustavus — Other than our game, this is one to watch. I personally like the Cobbers as a team, but that said, I’d have to go with the Gusties by probably a similar score to their victory over formerly #15 Wartburg. Gustavus 28-17.
#13 Bethel at #6 St. John’s — Even after taking off my “homer” glasses, I think the Jays will ultimately trounce the Royals by two TDs — 35-21.
Other Games of Interest:
Butler University (IN) at University of St. Thomas — I’m thinking U$T will face more than they can handle once again in their first Pioneer League game. Butler 35-17. Watch the attendance at O’Shaughnessy; if it’s over 2,500 they’re giving tickets away to orphans…or making it mandatory for frosh to attend.
North Central and Aurora each are into their respective conference schedules now and neither should lose another game until the playoffs. I expect that both will win their games by at least three or four TDs every time, with Aurora climbing back into the Top 25.
With the exception of UW-Eau Claire playing a non-conference game, the WIAC is idle this weekend.
#2 Mary Hardin-Baylor plays #7 Hardin-Simmons. I’d love to see H-S upset MHBU, but I don’t think it will happen, but if it’s a close loss H-S shouldn’t fall too much or at all in the standings, a la #5 Wheaton this past week.
* * * *
The Bethel Office Intern —
The Bethel University Athletic Department got one of Coach Steve Johnson’s prized football recruits a rather cushy work-study job in an administrative office. His only real task was to type out college announcements that would appear on bulletin boards throughout the campus, about two or three a week.
One afternoon, before practice, he was typing and turned to the office secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?”
“Just use the copier machine paper, “ she told him.
With that, the new Royal took his last remaining blank piece of typing paper, put it on the photocopier, and proceeded to make five blank copies.
* * * *
Last Week’s Results —
3rd Saturday, September 18
(Only three contests last week and I picked the victors to each win 50-0; I was badly off that score for one team, Hamline, and now I predict they will be vying for the cellar the rest of the year.)
Carleton at Crown — Poor Crown….Carleton 50-0. Actually 51-0.
Hamline at UW-Morris — Poor Morris…the Pipers 50-0. Actually Hamline hung on to only win by 30-28.
Martin Luther at St. John’s — Poor Martin Luther…Johnnies 50-0. Actually 55-7. I might add that there is false equivalency in those 50-0 scores…Martin Luther would no doubt beat Hamline, St. Scholastica, Macalester and maybe even Augsburg and Carleton.
* * * *
* * * *
D3Football Top 25 —
Week 3 shows North Central in first place after their dominating 20-7 win over #5 Wheaton, which maintained their spot even after a loss. North Central’s ascendancy meant that Mary Hardin-Baylor, UW-Whitewater and Mount Union all slipped down one place. To tell you the truth, I can’t see why the Top 25 panel didn’t put North Central at No. 1 right from the start, since they are defending National Champs and they are still loaded with talent.
St. John’s, a bit surprisingly to me, jumped back up to #6 and Hardin-Simmons switched with us back to #7. Bethel, which had a bye, gained two places to #13 while twirling their thumbs. The WIAC still has three teams in the Top 25 and two more getting points, while our Gustavus gained more points while also being idle. #2 Mary Hardin-Baylor plays #7 Hardin-Simmons this Saturday, while #6 SJU hosts #13 Bethel, so there could be lots of movement after next Saturday.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2021/week3
* * * *
Johnnies Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes, Mike Carr and Charlie Carr will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 23rd season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet.
* *
Listening via the Internet: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Viewing via live streaming: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Note: There is a $10 charge to watch this live broadcast, with a package fee of $54 to watch all the regular season games.
* * * *
Johnnie Question of the Week, Season 3, Episode 3 —
In this Episode Dwayne Wade and Alex Larson Host Johnnie Question of the Week: Who would you most and least like to be lost in a jungle with?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q778YmAjc8
* * * *
The Reel 2021 - Martin Luther Game Highlights —
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ8kPa60NPc
* * * *
The Good Samaritan Woman —
While driving home in my golf cart, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer,
lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused, I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road
when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?”
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with a cleavage to die for.
"I'm okay, I think." I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."
“That's nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
"My guess is that she's still in the ditch."
(Contributed by Mike Murphy ’61, St. Paul, MN)
* * * *
Top Bumper Stickers Seen in the Science Hall Lot —
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
* * * *
The UnCasual Fan —
Part 1: SJU vs Martin Luther
What another wonderful day at St. Johns. Sunny, temp in the high 60’s/low 70’s. A not-so-crowded tailgate area and a football game at 1:00 PM. Hopefully no one would be singing the blues at the end of the day. Sorry – I could not resist.
So what about the game? No disrespect to Martin Luther but no one was really expecting it to be too close a contest. A couple of points about ML:
1. They kept playing until the end. Sometimes teams rollover at some point when they are outmanned. ML never did.
2. A great gesture by ML before the first play from the line of scrimmage. The ML linemen reached across the line of scrimmage and shook hands with our guys. I have never seen that before. Kind of liked it.
First and foremost, it was a win and wins are to be celebrated and cherished regardless of how it was won. Here is what I think I can tell you. Former players and alumni are sometimes far more critical about the “how” …… the players are. Alumni and former players may wonder if parts of the team or game that didn’t looked so good against Martin Luther might play out against Bethel this week. Players and coaches view it as opportunities for improvement and things to be worked on.
My Summary:
The Good
· We won 55-7
· The Passing game looked good again. After 1 or 2 drops we caught the ball well the rest of the game and our QB made all types of throws he needs to make
· We can scramble when things break down
· Running game compliments the passing game real well and is capable of leading us if the other team decides to focus against our passing game
· Defense gave up zero points
· Had a great meatball sandwich before the game
The Bad
· The small number of students that stay for the 2nd half
The Ugly
· None that I could see
I am still very optimistic about our team this year but my two biggest concerns this week are:
1. Who will or will not be ready to play against Bethel because we will need to be at our best to come out with a “W”. The game against ML provided a next man up opportunity for a bunch of guys to fill in for some key players who were not at 100% or not able to play.
2. We can not afford to get “sloppy” and make the kind of mistakes we made against ML in the 2nd quarter. No need to elaborate here. We all remember that.
The weather looks like a another nice one for this weekend. This will be a big test for the Red and White and hopefully we are ready. See everyone on Saturday. It is so great to have SJU football back again.
Part 2: Singing the Blues
What another wonderful day at St. Johns. I was Looking forward to seeing the Johnnie Red and White take on Martin Luther.
I have to admit being set up for this one when Harry Burns mentioned to me at the pre-game tailgate that sometime this year our Johnnies were going to break out a little powder blue on their football uniforms.
That sent me off on a rant while he just stood there with a big grin on his face. I should have known something was up. My rant included things like:
· Are you kidding me
· Why would you do that?
· Why would you break with the Red and White tradition?
· Let the other sports wear the powder blue
· The alumni will never stand for that
· The ex-football players will be irate – It’s been red and white forever
· Why change now?
My wife suggested I calm down and be quiet and that it was time to head to the stadium for the game so that’s what we did. Imagine my surprise when the Johnnies took the field in their brand new Powder Blue Jerseys. My first reaction was kind of like, “Are you kidding me?” How are we going to play fast, aggressive, strong, football wearing a light blue jersey.
Then I realized that time had passed me by (again). The players seemed to like them based on the video I watched, although I swore I heard some not so favorable hoots and noises in there. I guess if you are going to change things up you might as well go big or go home and I guess we did go big with it.
There is some solace in that the rumor mill was talking about only using the blue jerseys once a year. I guess maybe the team or coaches will make that decision.
I accept that we will see the powder blue going forward but I was personally hoping that if it ever happened it would be some in stripes or outlines around the numbers (vs blue jersey with red and white details).
It is going to be a great game this week no matter what color we wear.
I personally will be sporting a solid red shirt and hat with some white details. See everyone on Saturday. It is so great to have SJU football back again. — The Uncasual Fan
* * * *
Taking It Slow At First —
This Tommie co-ed got in an Uber vehicle in downtown Minneapolis for a ride back to campus. The driver looked around to her and said, “Do you mind if I put on some rock music?”
The Tommette said, “Not at all.”
The driver asked, “Kiss?”
She responded, “Let’s listen to the music first, then see how we feel.”
* * * *
Happy Hour at Different Ages —
Here's the scene at the Friday night Happy Hour at The Middy Bar
across from St. Ben's, taken by CSB senior Maran Wagner '21 and
sent to her dad and mom, Mike "Dusty" '83 and Aimee Wagner,
while they were at another social function at the same time. Dusty
and Aimee's oldest daughter Miquela is a 2019 grad of CSB.
I love The Middy's slogan: "Nothing like a cold beer, after a nice cold beer."
Meanwhile, down at the Medicine Lake home of Ron Tomczik '65, part
of the "happy hour" group there are pictured enjoying each others' company
while also enjoying some adult beverages themselves. From left are
Dick Wilke, Chris Scholl, Colleen Lilly '81, Dusty Wagner '83, Mr. Tomczik,
John Sipe ''61/'65, Eileen Myles, and Aimee Wagner. Might be more
sedate than The Middy but there was plenty of Johnnie-Bennie camaraderie
to go around.
* * * *
La Playette Drink Special —
A Johnnie senior strolled into the La and asked the bartender, “What’s your drink special today?”
The barman explained, “It’s an original Stearns County drink we call the Johnnizoid. It’s made with 2 shots each of 100 proof alcohols. It contains Vodka, Tennessee Whiskey, Tequila, and Scotch, topped with Irish Cream and Banana slices.
The Johnnie asked, “What do the customers that order this drink say about it?”
The bartender replied, “No one really knows; we can’t understand what they’re saying.”
* * * *
St. Ben’s Number One Sports Fan Given New Honor —
This Saturday afternoon, September 25, during halftime at the home soccer game, the College of Saint Benedict will officially name its outdoor athletic field building after Sister Lois Wedl. The building will be known as the The S. Lois Wedl Athletic Center.
And there's Herself, indeed!
According to Mary Geller, Vice President for Student Development, who wrote to S. Lois about the honor, “Your decades of enthusiasm, support, promotion and dedication to all our athletic teams and our student athletes is truly inspiring. You are the first to send out team performance updates, you have attended countless home and away competitions, you always give voice to the value of women in sport and keep our Bennie athletes at the forefront of the CSB experience. You understand from personal experience the lack of opportunity women had in sport and you have done everything in your power to change that and allow our Bennie student athletes to compete to their highest potential. You have been our Number One Bennie Fan for thirty years. We could not think of a better person for whom to name this building. You are a blessing to us all, S. Lois, and we look forward to celebrating you on Saturday.”
The new athletic center features a press box, alumni lounge, locker rooms, training facilities and more was at the heart of the new outdoor field construction project. Additionally, a new soccer dugout and softball grandstand added much needed amenities to the new athletic fields.
Read more about the background of this improvement as well as that as St. John’s from 2016: St. John's and St. Ben's Breaking Ground on New Athletic Facilities | https://wjon.com/st-johns-and-st-bens-breaking-ground-on-new-athletic-facilities/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral
* * * *
A Few Scenes From The Martin Luther Tailgate —
Shown celebrating All Things Red at John Young's Bloody Mary
Bar are, left, John Young Himself '83, Jeff Norman '78 and Adam
Herbst '99. Jeff and Adam were both standout football players,
Jeff at quarterback and Adam at wide receiver.
A couple pals from the Class of 1989 enjoy the tailgate while
offering some splendid hospitality. Here Dave Lutz (left) and wife
Deb (the Friendly Cobber) are shown with hosts Kay and Jon
Gerlach, whose son #13 Mitchell is a senior on the football team.
The Gerlachs' older son Zack, also on the team, graduated in 2019.
The Lutzes also have some recent alum kids: Megan '17 and Matt '20.
Meanwhile, way back of the tennis courts, a younger crowd of recent grads and current students gather around with live music, colorful attire and lots of food and drink.
* * * *
Three Catholic Poets Reading —
Father Joseph Gillespie, OP ’64, pastor of St. Albert the Great in Minneapolis, has extended an invitation to attend his parish’s free “Three Catholic Poets” reading at the church on Friday, October 1, at 7:30 pm. The church is located at the corner of E. 29th St. and 32nd Ave. So., a block north of Lake Street. The featured poets are:
Angela Alaimo O’Donnell, a writer, poet and professor at Fordham University. Her most recent book of poems is entitled Love in the Time of Coronavirus: A Pandemic Pilgrimage (2021).
Maryann Corbett of St. Paul has authored five books of poetry, and much of her work has to do with growing up Catholic in a family with too many secrets, singing wonderful liturgical music, and wrestling with the faith.
James Silas Rogers, also of St. Paul, is an essayist and poet who has written widely on Irish and Irish-American literature. His poetry has appeared in many journals, including the National Catholic Reporter.
(Editor's Note: It's not unheard of for Fr. Joe and a number of his cohorts at this kind of function to finish the night at Merlin's Pub at 36th and E. Lake.)
* * * *
Proven Mentally Competent—
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound-mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
(Contributed by Peg Marrin ’65, Dallas, TX)
* * * *
Wicker’s Health Rant —
Do You Know The Difference Between Being Overweight and Obese?
With about 7 out of 10 U.S. citizens being overweight, and 4 out of those ten being obese, this is (pardon the word choice) a huge problem for our country. Check ‘em off: diabetes, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and respiratory problems, some cancers, and so forth.
But right now it’s Covid. Obesity attracts this coronavirus like trailer courts attract tornados, or so it seems. Losing weight, improving diets, exercising all seem to be preferable to getting hospitalized, intubated and possibly dying. The vaccines may offer some protection from serious illness, but breakthrough infections still seem to be most prevalent with those who are obese and/or have accompanying vulnerabilities. And the unvaxxed obese are simply playing Russian roulette with their lives.
Are you obese? Use the calculator in the article linked below. If you’re overweight and not obese, do something about it while you still have time. Oh…and have I mentioned getting your Vitamin D level up to at least 40 ng/mL? Whether you are simply overweight or clinically obese, have your doctor check your Vitamin D count and then work your way up to protective levels. It’s an inexpensive, yet effective way to avoid the worst of this coronavirus and similar viruses, colds and flus in the future.
https://www.verywellhealth.com/the-difference-between-being-overweight-and-being-obese-2509582
* * * *
Battle Between The Sexes, Birthday Surprises Department —
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Services will be at Luckemeyer Funeral Home on Monday the 12th. Due to the condition of the body, this will be a closed casket service. Please send your donations to the "Think Before You Say Things To Your Wife Foundation," Sauk Centre, Minnesota.
* * * *
School of Theology, Religious Similarities Department —
A guy from Brooklyn was in Hong Kong. While passing through a Jewish neighborhood he was surprised to see a synagogue. He went in and sure enough, he saw a Chinese rabbi and a Chinese congregation. The service was touching.
As the service ended, the rabbi stood at the door greeting his congregants. When our Brooklyn friend came up, the Chinese rabbi said...."You're a Jew?"
"Yes, I'm Jewish," replied the Brooklynite.
"Funny," said the Chinese rabbi. "You don't look it."
* * * *
Bethel Math —
The BU Mathematics teacher posed the following problem to one of his entry level classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence in the classroom, one timid Royal student raised his hand and with complete sincerity in his voice, answered, “A lawyer!”
* * * *
From Our Readers —
From Alan Johnson ’92, Eden Prairie, MN —
Hey, It is Alan ’92. I met two great Johnnies who would like to be included on the email distribution list for next year...well hopefully there is a season. Would you add Ryan Graham ‘21 and Osbaldo Matias ’20. Thanks - Alan
(Editor’s Note: I misplaced this request from several months ago, but all’s well that end’s well. The boys are now on the list. Both of them are Computer Science students, Ryan from Milwaukee and Osbaldo from Immokalee, FL. Alan is in the e-commerce biz himself.)
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From Denis Hynes SJP ’60/SJU ’64, St. Joseph, MN —
Dear Wick: Several years ago I got a new computer and fell off your mailing list for SJU football. My brother set me a copy a week ago and I had wondered how he was so knowledgable about SJU football living in Washington DC. Now I know and if your list can stand another I am repentant and beg to come back to the fold. Thanks. — Denis
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From David Van Landschoot ’72, Palm Desert, CA —
Bob, the team members of the original 1971 swim team that was formed — without a campus swimming pool — and competed in the 1972 MIAC conference meet where they placed last, sixth place, BUT earned 6 points towards the MIAC ALL SPORTS trophy, which beat out St. Thomas by one point! Did the same the following year and all led to getting a fantastic swimming facility on campus too! Quite a story. We are being honored at Homecoming at 10:30 in the morning and at the J Club banquet after the game …This was 50 years ago! Stay well. — David A.
(Editor’s Note: David is being honored as the founder of the Swim Team; he was approached by then Athletic Director Jim Smith who figured out all we had to do to win the MIAC All Sports Trophy was have a swim team, which garnered enough points for just competing to capture it. David, then close to graduating and who had been very active in student government and campus organizations, organized the team, scheduled the meets, led practice at local high schools, selected the team captain, Steve Smith, and arranged everything for the conference meet too. Although we came in last, David says SJU swimmers acquitted themselves admirably, striving as best they could. As captain, Steve assumed leadership of the team after David’s graduation, serving as director through early 1972 and through the spring of 1973, performing all the duties that David had initiated. That inaugural team would like all other alumni swimmers to attend the 50th reunion and celebrate SJU swimming's past and how it set the foundation for the school’s excellent results in later years. Frank Rajkowski has written a detailed account of those early days and his article can be found at this link: )
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More Scenes From Stearns County —
Donald Ebner went to his doctor in St. Cloud, who told him that he had a bad illness and only a year to live. So Donald decided to talk to his pastor, Fr. Raymond Beutner. After the man explained his situation, he asked Father Beutner if there was anything he could do.
"What you should do is go out and buy a late 70's or early 80's model Dodge Pickup," said Father Ray. "Then go get married to the meanest woman you can find, and buy yourselves an old trailer house in the that swampy area between Elrosa and Belgrade."
Donald asked, "Will this help me live longer?"
"No," said his pastor, "but it will make what time you do have seem like forever.”
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From Gary Kordosky ’64, Tucson, AZ —
Great issue, thanks for all your hard work. Pleased the fee for the UUN has not been increased as I would be willing to pay double. Cheers— Gary
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From Peg Marrin ’65, Dalls, TX —
And to think there was no Johnnie game to write about. Compelling journalism as usual. — Peg
P.S. Here’s something for your readers to enjoy: Fr. Kilian McDonnell OSB is profiled in the latest issue of the Abbey Banner. He’s 100 years old. He initially wanted to be a Dominican (at River Forest) but had to take leave due to poor health. When he recovered, the Dominicans wouldn’t take him back. Their loss, the OSBs’ gain. He went on to become a renowned scholar and teacher, not to mention poet:
Saint John's Turkey Vultures
by Kilian McDonnell
Forty Sherman tanks
six foot wings
red bullet-bald head,
battle-Cobra eyes,
soaring over dung-brown
barnyards, searching
for week-old afterbirths;
above 1-94, spying out
road-kill cats
and death city.
Whatever stinks
they'll eat: dead rats,
dead fish, dead dogs.
Any Minnesota carrion.
Call the Abbot!
Toll the bell!
The buzzards circle
low above my cell.
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From Mark Lasswell ’85,
Please consider telling your newsletter followers that they can download the "Freedom 1570" app and then listen to the stream of SJU football games over their phones or devices. I tried this during the Aurora game after my AM radio reception went sketchy, and it worked great. I'm sure the action is a bit delayed vs. live action (or even the action over the radio), but who cares. I enjoy your thorough, diverse coverage. Go Johnnies! — Mark
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/freedom-1570/id1077888382
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From Alan Christenson ‘97, Moorhead, MN—
Hi Rob, Peter Bormann let me know that you are looking for details on the tailgate event SJU/CSB alumni/ae host at Concordia when the Johnnies play up here on Saturday, October 2. You'll find the details in the invitation attached. It is generally a great event with good turnout. Let me know if you need more than what is provided in the invitation. —Al
(Editor’s Affirmation: Yes, indeed, those Fargo-Moorhead alums know how to celebrate their Johnnie- & Bennie-ness. Chris and I have already made reservations to spend the night after the game and we’re looking forward to reconnecting to that lively tailgate group before enjoying a presumed St. John’s victory over an always-tough Concordia team. Please go to the following link for the social and locale information and to register for the event…no charge, of course; they just want to know how many roughly to expect:)
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Afternoon Delight —
A younger couple realized the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie " with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities...
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skateboard!"
After a few moments he announced... "The Coopers are having sex."
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're having sex?"
“Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.”
(Editor’s Acknowledgement: This knowing little laugh comes from Don Genereux SJP ’65)
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FINAL WORD —
Garrison Keillor: Women—Don’t Read This;
For Men Only —
(Keillor opines on History and English majors.)
Maybe it’s just me but I have a nagging feeling that my gender, which once was fairly successful — Jonas Salk, Saul Bellow, Lowell Thomas, Tom Jones, the list goes on — is sagging and sinking, uncertain about changing norms of behavior, and we don’t whoop and holler the way we used to, and what this predicts for our species is not good. Geneticists are talking about the need to establish testosterone banks so that future males will be able to produce sperm and deliver it where needed, never mind earning a living or playing ice hockey.
Women, who have always been in charge of social life, are now openly wielding power, outlining goals and purposes, establishing spending limits, deciding what color the sheets and tablecloths should be. Men’s clubs like the Masons and Elk and Moose are a faint shadow of themselves except perhaps in parts of South Dakota while women are reforming the culture to their liking, and in my men’s group, the WBA (Wounded Buffalo Assn.), we discuss how, when we’re in a mixed group, women do most of the talking and men toss in the occasional nod or shrug or “I suppose so.” Back in olden times, women occupied the kitchen and talked about children, neighbors, ancestors, people at church, and men occupied the living room and talked about ideology. Now the two have merged and people are vastly more interesting than ideology, so men sit silent, dehorsed.
Last weekend my wife and I were visited by Lytton and Libby and Libby’s cousin Donna and the three women went off in a burst of happy chatter and had a fabulous day together seeing art galleries and a botanical garden and historical sites and we two men spent the day in separate rooms working silently on our laptops. This seems to be the pattern of things.
Men read the wrong books and get educated in the wrong subjects.
Graphs show clearly the dramatic increases in the percentage of women in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math — the cheerful, hopeful, rational, progressive realms of knowledge — and women have now achieved equity in law school enrollment, the study of troublemaking, but too many men are enrolled in the humanities, which is the study of man’s inhumanity, and this is our problem. We’re reading too much history and literature and taking depressing courses in the social sciences. Too many men go into the arts, hoping to meet nice women, but the failure rate in the arts generally is about 95 percent, a dismal fact.
This idea, that higher education has been bad for men, occurred to me last week when I arrived in Minneapolis and met two very happy men, one was a cabdriver who was following the instructions of the GPS lady and the other was working in a Dairy Queen, making Blizzards, and I ordered a medium Butterfinger Blizzard and I heard him singing to himself as he whipped the candy chips into the ice milk, something I never hear men do who have a Ph.D. in history. History is a terrible field for men and should be avoided at all costs.
History is the study of slime balls and what good does this do a young man, to realize that for centuries our gender has been a blight upon the world? I majored in English, which is almost as useless as history: you read the novels of Thomas Hardy and you’ll want to live alone in a cabin in the woods and take up beekeeping and never talk to another human being. My brother was an engineer, a cheerful field of rational problem-solving, and I was an English major, which gives you no useful knowledge, only a superior attitude. If English Departments were shut down and their students given jobs driving cabs and given the classics to read while they wait for fares, this would be a step forward.
My grandson is enrolled in architecture, and is very happy about it, and I’ve told him that if he switches to Humanities, I will disown him. I made a career writing fiction but if I had it to do over again, I’d get a job in the field of desserts. I still could. My cousin Ben, a retired car salesman, bakes cherry pies and I’ve never heard anyone say a bad word about him. I talk to him regularly, always about people we know, never ideology, and he is the cream of the Keillor crop.
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Enough already! We have to get serious about going after the Royals of Bethel University. Remember how you will best do it — say a prayer like the Royals on the field, and then scream out with all your might —
GO JOHNNIES ! ! (Flush the Royals…or something like that.)
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Submitted cheerfully but with a little worry about Saturday,
R.L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64, St. Paul, MN
651-699-4697
theowick@aol.com
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