Ready for the last dress rehearsal? (UUN #4-21)
Dear Die-Hard Red Fans —
You’d think, after a bye week last Saturday, that there wouldn’t be too much to write about in the SJU Unofficial Underground News. And ordinarily you’d be correct. However big things are happening in Division III that very well may have a bearing on how our team fares in the coming weeks, both in the MIAC and in national rankings.
First, after our thrilling, well-played, see-saw victory with a relatively young team over a veteran-filled Aurora University squad, the players, coaches and the entire Johnnie Nation rejoiced over what appears to be another super team in the making: A new quarterback taking up right where Jackson Erdmann left off; a rebuilt offensive line allowing just one sack and opening innumerable holes for our two starting RBs; a new huge tight end target giving a new dimension to our passing game; an intact defensive line and new starting linebackers limiting Aurora’s running game; and a freshman kicker didn’t miss anything. The only question mark seems to be our secondary, but — by golly — going up against the likes of All-American Gavin Zimbelman means we have to cut them a little slack. After all, they won’t run into a talent like that until the playoffs, right? We’ll practically waltz into the playoffs, right?
Well, reality came crashing down last Saturday. Who would have ever thought the Aurora Spartans would fold like the Little Sisters of the Poor against the Green Bay Packers before the onslaught of #4 North Central College 64-7 when a week before that they played #6 St. John’s virtually even 39-33. Many, many questions suddenly arose. Troubling questions.
Was #21 Aurora over-rated going in? Is St. John’s over-rated hanging in at #7 this week? Are the North Central Cardinals far and away the best team once again in D-III? How good are we really? None of us have any definitive answers to these questions…we’ll just have to play the games and let the players prove what the standings can only guess at. Still, what the heck happened to Aurora and to Zimbelman between these two games? Did our last-second victory crush the spirit of the Spartans? Get in their minds? Are the Cardinals that much bigger, faster and more talented than we are? Bill Marrin ’61/’65 and I watched a great deal of the game on John Sipe’s iMac after a St. John’s Prep gathering in downtown St. Paul Saturday evening. We couldn’t believe our eyes. Arguably our best pass rusher is #91 Michael Wozniak who had two sacks on Zimbelman; well, it seemed like the Cardinals had three or four Wozniaks, for gosh sakes. Then their secondary was pasted like decals on the same receivers that got open so often against us. But even then you’d think an All-American QB with seasoned receivers could do something offensively. It really looked like — after falling behind early and so easily — that the Spartans just took the rest of the night off, no longer believing in themselves. I’d sure like to hear what Aurora coach Don Beebe had to say, but I couldn’t find any quotes.
To make matters worse, earlier in the day I tuned in via Gustavus live streaming to their game against the #15-ranked Wartburg Knights. I figured it would be a high-scoring, close game with Wartburg prevailing by a touchdown or so. But, noooo! Six-year QB Michael Veldman from Becker, MN, lit up the Wartburg secondary with three long bombs of the ilk Zimbelman dropped on us, while the Gustie defense pretty much clamped down on what looked on paper like a pretty potent Wartburg offense, ultimately, surprisingly and convincingly winning 27-18 and ushering the Knights plumb out of the d3football Top 25. Veldman’s most effective and explosive targets are senior Dalton Thelen of Cold Spring, and sophomore Matthew Kipper of Bloomington, MN. I get nervous when I think of us playing the Gusties for the Northwoods Division title right now. Too many unknowns. Although the Gusties’ defense kept Wartburg at bay much of the game, I still wonder about it…they gave up 58 points to Buena Vista while scoring 80 the week before. Our game with them at St. Peter on October 23 could be pretty high scoring.
Then, to add to my discomfort, our most dangerous rival up in two weeks, the #15 Bethel Royals, took on a better-than-average UW-Platteville team and handled them very well with a solid 28-7 win in a close game until the 4th quarter when the Royals exploded. The QB and leader senior Jaran Roste, is a strong passer but it’s his running game that can kill ya. Ask Platteville…the Royals simply pounded them into submission. Bethel’s 59-7 win in their opener doesn’t really mean much; it was like our win over tiny Martin Luther College will be…a game that shouldn’t have happened, but the Knights from New Ulm filled a vacancy on our schedule and most likely reaped a good payday for their upcoming sacrifice to the Big Red Machine. How much did SJU have to pay? I don’t know but it could be as much as $10 to $15K. Here’s a long New York Post article I came across while looking to see if Macalester got any money from Trinity (TX) for making that l-o-n-g, l-o-n-g trip to get ripped 64-0. It touches on how much money some teams get for being sacrificial offerings. About 3/4 of the way down, the article mentions other schools and amounts they’ve paid for an easy game if you just want to skim through it:
https://nypost.com/2015/11/29/the-shady-college-football-team-that-gets-paid-to-lose-games/
A couple more items before we move on:
I read that the Southeastern Conference has fined Arkansas $100,000 after Razorback fans rushed the field following their team’s win over Texas A&M. This is the second time they’ve been fined; the first was for $50,000 back in 2014 when they beat LSU. The next time and subsequent times will cost Arkansas $250,000. Yikes! The NCAA Div. III folks forbid any students from going on the field after playoff games now, but I wonder if the MIAC, seeing a way to make some money and to chastise exuberant Johnnie fans, might consider instituting fines up here too.
Last Saturday I tried to watch the St. Thomas game against Michigan Tech in Houghton, MI. However, the viewing fee was $15 and I figured “no way.” So I listened to them on U$T’s new station, KSTP-AM 1500, as I drove around running errands. The Tommies prevailed over their non-conference Div. II foes 12-9 in what sounded like a pretty dull contest. U$T had several opportunities to score, including getting a first down on Tech’s 7 and still couldn’t push it in. They sure miss Josh Parks, with whom they would have out-scored Michigan Tech by three TDs or more. And the Tommies need more juice at quarterback. Their next game this Saturday will be a real eye-opener — a “Welcome to D-I” kind of game — against the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls, IA. The Panthers lost to #7-ranked Iowa State only 16-10, so…”Hello, Glenn.” Here’s what Caruso had to say about going to Iowa: “If we are going to accomplish a Year 1 goal of growing, we can’t grow until we learn, and we can’t learn until we compete, and any time you compete against competition that isn’t elite you don’t get a true read of where you are. Sometimes that means it’s not as fun to watch, and the film session on Sunday is a little more difficult.”
As an aside, Larry Haeg ’63/’67 sent me the attendance of the Tommie game at Houghton, MI — a paltry 1,660 in wonderful weather. I wonder what they would have seen at O’Shaughnessy where reserved bench tickets cost $17 and $35 for a seat with a back? U$T soccer and volleyball games always used to be free, now it’s $5 a contest. I can only imagine what the hockey tickets will cost for the Tommies' first D-I game against 2021 NCAA tournament runner-up St. Cloud State is played in Xcel Energy Center on October 3. That’s the only game the Tommies have scheduled for the X.
Finally, what can we say about our game with Martin Luther? I give them huge props for wanting to play us. They only have about 650 students down there and half of them are young women. Yet, in their conference, the Knights do well, with a lot spirit and energy. I suspect our first string will be in for little more than a quarter, certainly no more than a half, with subs getting a lot of playing time; we don’t need a Caruso-like slaughter to prove our worth. This is the kind of game parents of freshmen and sophomores will love, because their boys will get a chance to play. I pray that our team and fans will be respectful, courteous and grateful for the opportunity to play even a tune-up laugher game; I also pray for zero injuries, especially on the over-matched Knights. The weather is supposed to be quite nice, but I expect a crowd of only around 5,000-6,000 with the students leaving well before half time. Oh, and SJU is now charging $10 to watch via live stream…last game was an anomaly.
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Aurora Game Revisited:
Game-Saving Tackle Sets Up Game-Winning Tackle —
I’ve watched the SJU-Aurora game highlight video (below) several times for various reasons. Finally it dawned on me that the game was saved on the play before D-lineman Collin Franz stripped the ball from Gavin Zimbelman to turn sure defeat into a sudden SJU victory.
#43 made a saving tackle on the 1-yard line that set up the winning tackle the next play; the problem is I don’t know which #43 it was…we have two LBs with that number — senior Kyle Kornovich, 6’1”, 210 lb. linebacker from Rogers, MN; and freshman Hayden Sanders, 6’0”, 210 lb. linebacker from Brooklyn Park, MN. (I would assume it was Kyle, the senior.) Without that tackle the game would have been over, and whoever made it put the Aurora receiver down flat — BAM! — stopping any momentum into the end zone. Let’s give that player, Kyle Kornovich?, the kudos he deserves.
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Prospective Tommie Football Player Interviews For An “Academic” Scholarship —
Martin, after being recruited for the football team, was being interviewed for an academic scholarship at the University of St. Thomas.
The person conducting the interview wanted to find out something about the young man’s personality, so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
Without hesitation, our would-be Tommie responded, “The living one, of course!”
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SJU 2021 Football Schedule
(All games are played on Saturdays, beginning at 1 pm)
Date Opponent Location
Sep. 4 Aurora Collegeville W 39-33
Sep. 11 Bye
Sep. 18 Martin Luther Collegeville
Sep. 25 Bethel Collegeville
Oct. 2 Concordia Moorhead, MN
Oct. 9 Augsburg Collegeville (Homecoming)
Oct. 16 St. Olaf* Collegeville (Family Weekend)
Oct. 23 Gustavus* St. Peter, MN
Oct. 30 St. Scholastica* Collegeville
Nov. 6 Carleton* Northfield, MN
Nov. 13 MIAC Championship Week TBD
(* With St. John’s, these teams are also part of the MIAC’s new Northwoods Division.)
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AROUND THE MIAC —
Saturday, Sept. 18
Carleton at Crown — I was wrong last week when I said that its game against Morris might be Knights’ only win…I didn’t know they were playing Crown. Poor Crown. Carleton 50-0.
Hamline at UM-Morris — Poor Morris…the Pipers 50-0.
Martin Luther at St. John’s — Poor Martin Luther…Johnnies 50-0.
(Editor’s Note: Of course I’m being glib; I realize that the three losing teams above may score a TD or two…but you get the drift anyway.)
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Science at Martin Luther College —
It was time for finals and a MLC football player was struggling with one particular question on his chemistry test.
The question was "If H2O if water, what is H2O4?"
This was a quick answer for most, but it took this student some thinking time.
Finally, he wrote down his answer: “For drinking, washing, and cleaning.”
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Last Week’s Results —
2nd Saturday, September 11
UW-Platteville at Bethel — The Royals will go to town on the better-than-average Pioneers. My pick: Royals 42-16. Actually 28-7, same ratio but less scoring.
St. Olaf at Luther — These schools have a huge rivalry…in choral music. It won’t carry over so much this Saturday when the Oles wallop the Norse 35-17. Actually 19-7, again much the same ratio but less offense.
Macalester at Trinity U. (TX) — Sorry, Mac, but it’s a long, long way to go to get shellacked. Hope you fly rather bus there. My pick: 52-9. Actually 64-0…and since it was an 18 hour drive I sure hope Mac flew.
Wartburg at Gustavus — I’m only tentatively picking the Knights over the Gusties; I’m visioning a close game, one I wouldn’t mind seeing. Wartburg narrowly edges out GAC, 36-30. Actually GAC won 27-18, complicating things for SJU in the fight for the Northwoods Division title.
Presentation (SD) at Concordia — Oh, dear. This new program will get a rude awakening by the ticked-off Cobbers. Let’s say 66-12. Actually 55-14, not quite as bad as I predicted…but bad enough.
Nebraska Wesleyan at Augsburg — These non-conference games can get lopsided. Here we have the Prairie Wolves coming to Minneapolis to eat the Auggies’ lunch. 54-23. Actually the Prairie Wolves barely eked out a win 20-19. Does that mean that they aren’t as good as we thought…or more importantly, is Augsburg better than predicted?
Carleton at UM-Morris — This may be one of the Knights' few victories of the season, coming at Morris’ expense. 28-19. Actually Carleton had a field day 50-13…who would have thought?
St. John’s — BYE (Darn it. We need a lot more seasoning before we host the likes of Bethel.)
D-I St. Thomas no doubt flies, not buses, to Houghton, MI to play D-II Michigan Tech Univ. in a non-conference tilt. Although the Tommies are picked #8 (out of 11 teams) in their new Pioneer League, I suspect Caruso and Company will do everything they can to show up their hosts and boost their preseason reps in their own league. UST 48-MTU 26. Actually U$T won 12-9…and they had to bus 6-3/4 hours each way. Bummer.
North Central vs Aurora 64-7. Man-O-Man-O-Man…what’s it all about, Alfie?
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D3Football Top 25 —
The biggest changes after Week 2 are that former #21 Aurora and #15 Wartburg completely dropped out of the Top 25 after their losses, with the Gusties, Wartburg and Aurora each receiving the same number of votes in the “also rans,” Gustavus being in the ascendancy; I think the panel was overly strict with Wartburg because it was a reasonably close game with GAC. Bethel jumped two spots to #15 as well they should have. The WIAC now has three teams in the Top 25 — Whitewater, Oshkosh and LaCrosse. North Central remained as #4, despite its wholesale dismantling of Aurora. The Johnnies, who had a bye, switched places with Hardin-Simmons and are now #7; they probably won’t improve in the standings, and might even drop a point or two, by playing Martin Luther next Saturday.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2021/week2
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes, Mike Carr and Charlie Carr will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 23rd season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet.
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Listening via the Internet: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Viewing via live streaming: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Note: There is a $10 charge to watch this live broadcast, with a package fee of $54 to watch all the regular season games.
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About Martin Luther College —
Martin Luther College (MLC) is a private liberal arts college in New Ulm, Minnesota, operated by the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS) (1). The WELS is the third largest Lutheran church body in the United States and operates the fourth largest private school system in the nation. Martin Luther College was established in 1995, when Northwestern College of Watertown, Wisconsin combined with the older Dr. Martin Luther College of New Ulm, established in 1884, on the latter's campus. Both institutions were originally founded to serve German-speaking members of their various Synods.
MLC offers several undergraduate and graduate degree programs, all of which train students for service in the WELS. Men who graduate from the college's pre-seminary program may enroll at Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary. Men and women who graduate from its education programs may be assigned by the WELS as teachers and staff ministers to synod churches, schools, and missions. Today MLC has about 670 undergraduate students, equally split between men and women, and 1000 graduate and continuing education students.
Martin Luther College (MLC) is a private liberal arts college in New Ulm, Minnesota, operated by the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS) (1). The WELS is the third largest Lutheran church body in the United States and operates the fourth largest private school system in the nation. Martin Luther College was established in 1995, when Northwestern College of Watertown, Wisconsin combined with the older Dr. Martin Luther College of New Ulm, established in 1884, on the latter's campus. Both institutions were originally founded to serve German-speaking members of their various Synods.
MLC offers several undergraduate and graduate degree programs, all of which train students for service in the WELS. Men who graduate from the college's pre-seminary program may enroll at Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary. Men and women who graduate from its education programs may be assigned by the WELS as teachers and staff ministers to synod churches, schools, and missions. Today MLC has about 670 undergraduate students, equally split between men and women, and 1000 graduate and continuing education students.
Approximately 30% of MLC students participate in a varsity sport, and about 60% participate in intramural athletics. Martin Luther College's 16 varsity sports teams compete at the NCAA Division III level and are known as the Knights. The college is a member of the Upper Midwest Athletic Conference; its primary competitors are Bethany Lutheran College of Mankato, MN (sort of a Johnnie-Tommie rivalry of old), Crown College, UM-Morris, North Central University, and Northland College. Since 1995, Martin Luther College's teams have won 28 UMAC championships.The school's nickname is the Knights and its colors are black, red, and white. The Knights football team made Division III NCAA championship appearances in 2018 and 2019, one of which was against St. John’s in Collegeville where the Johnnies creamed them.
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(1)The WELS Synod is fairly strict and more fundamentalist than the more ecumenical and liberal Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA). For a very quick study on the differences between WELS, ELCA and two other major synods, go here:
https://classroom.synonym.com/differences-in-lutheran-churches-and-synods-12087208.html
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Hot Skinny From Practice —
Bob Neis ’65 dropped in a last-minute report from practice yesterday:
Yes, you can see the new scoreboard from the visitor stands. Might require the services of a chiropractor after the game. Selfie (below) with Conor Pavelko, #12, freshman kicker from Sioux Falls O’Gorman. Had a great game against Aurora. The Defense worked really hard on run defense and guarding against the long bomb.
The Football Whisperer was there and said that the goal should be “25 and 10” to get ready for back to back games with Bethel and Concordia:
Score at least 25 points and hold Martin Luther to 10 or less points.
This could be Martin Luther’s biggest game since the 95 Theses were drafted at the University of Wittenberg in 1517.
(Editor’s Comment: Really? SJU scores only 25+ points? And who thinks MLC will score 10+ points on us? If either of those happen it will be an alarming wake-up call of major proportions.)
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The Name of Your Wife —
St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.
"Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler.
"I was a good father," he answers.
"Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance."
St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question.
The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family.
But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named Candy.
At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let's get out of here."
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While at Homecoming, stay for the Hall of Honor Banquet —
Honor these past St. John's greats while helping the J Club at the same time
The Hall of Honor Banquet will take place in Guild Hall (a.k.a. Old Gym, Rat Hall) and begin with a 5 p.m. social and 5:45 dinner and program. $75 per person through October 3 ($100 per person after) includes dinner and beverages. All proceeds go to the J-Club to support all SJU athletics.
Casual, game day attire encouraged.
Event Details:
Date: Saturday, October 9th
Time: 5 p.m. social hour followed by dinner and program
Location: Guild Hall (a.k.a Old Gym and RAT HALL)
Please join us to honor the incredible accomplishments of the 2021 inductees:
1965 SJU Football Team
John Deters ’92 – Swim and Dive
George Durenberger ’28 (posthumous) – SJU Athletic Director
Chuck Froehle ’57 (posthumous) – Football
Jim Gathje ’86 – Cross Country & Track and Field
Vedie Himsl ‘38 (posthumous) – Baseball
Jim Lehman, Sr. ’56 (posthumous) – Football
Terry Leiendecker ’84 – Soccer
Vic Moore ’72 – J-Club Distinguished Service
Joe Mucha ’66 – Basketball
Jeff Norman ’78 – Football
Joe Schoolmeesters ’09 – Golf
Gary Svendsen ’72 – Wrestling
Go here to register for the event:
https://securelb.imodules.com/s/1433/gid3/interior.aspx?sid=1433&gid=3&pgid=5707&cid=8854
Go here to see who’s coming so far:
http://sjualum.csbsju.edu/s/1433/gid3/interior.aspx?sid=1433&gid=3&pgid=5708&cid=8855&fid=8854
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Johnnie Question of the Week, Season 3, Episode 1 —
In this Episode of Johnnie Question of the Week RAVI ALSTON and MICHAEL WOZNIAK ask freshmen who they thought was the most intimidating player/coach on the first day of fall camp.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_driRNxTtM
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The Reel 2021 - 1st Game Highlights —
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkUQ1xNhobI
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The UnCasual Fan —
Part A: Scoreboard Perspective
I was really looking forward to seeing the new scoreboard this past weekend especially after seeing the pictures and reading some of the hype about it. It looked outstanding upon my first glimpse into the bowl but I am going to take the high road and chalk this one up to 1st game jitters.
No other venue (other than Viking and Gopher scoreboards) in the state of Minnesota has anything like this. I was just imagining all the possibilities.
First - I did like some of the highlights from the past. That was cool and the video replays and in game action was better than I imagined.
But:
Just think how nice it would be if we posted a BIO of each of the starters during the announcement of the starting line-up. Or even if BIOs were rotated for each player starting an hour before the game. I bet Mom and Dad would take pictures and show all their friends or put it on Facebook. Maybe put that same BIO up after a fumble recovery, or interception or touchdown.
Or maybe even:
Posting some game statistics after each quarter
Periodic posting of other MIAC games or D3 games
Periodic posting of other college football games
Scores for the past week of other SJU and Bennie sports
Maybe some pre game warm-up shots from a flyover from a drone. Easily done these days.
Maybe some more shots from a flyover through the campus
However, I realize that scoreboard graphics take planning and execution and support if it is to be executed to its fullest extent.
On the sound side it seems like we need some work with the volume and sound in general.
Also, maybe a sign off to the side of the scoreboard thanking and naming the sponsors instead of the 25% of the real estate they occupied on the board. Yes, I understand there is most likely money involved but could we think this one through a little bit. We have some amazing young minds on campus and I am sure they could take the graphics and content to a new level if given a chance. This could also be another excellent recruiting tool to help sell all of the great things about being a Johnnie.
Part B: SJU vs Martin Luther
Greetings to all my fellow Johnnie football enthusiasts. Since we did not have a game this past week I thought I would send the UUN my perspective for this upcoming week and our team in general.
After watching last week’s game and having time to think about it I remain cautiously optimistic about our Johnnies. We had some questions to be answered and for the most part they were. For playing the first game in a long, long time it did not seem like there was much rust to get rid of and we came out clicking right away. That was good. Even some of the best programs in the country cannot say that.
Some things to consider this week:
1. We will not learn very much about our team this week vs. Martin Luther. This is not a good game for MLC and looks like quite a mismatch
2. Our pass defense is most likely better than they looked against Aurora. Aurora had a very good passing attack and stopping the slant and the long ball (which Aurora did very well) is a difficult task. We may not see that kind of execution again this year although the QBs from Bethel and Gustavus are very good also
3. What is our team Identity – all good teams have an identity. It is what holds them together when the season gets tough and you are trying to make your way through the playoffs. Are we a passing team, are we a running team are we a great defensive team?
See you at the game. The UnCasual Fan
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Annual Prep at the Park Celebration —
Close to 40 Prep alumni, spouses and family gathered for a cookout at John Sipe’s SJP ’61/SJU ‘65 downtown St. Paul condo before moving a block away to attend a St. Paul Saints baseball game last Saturday during bye week for Johnnie football. This tradition has been going on for several years.
Attending from St. John’s Prep were Head of School Jon McGee ’84 and Brother Richard Crawford OSB ’06, a member of the Prep School administration. At the gathering Jon presented some very brief remarks on the current status of St. John’s Prep School. Much impressed, the UUN asked him to summarize his report for all readers. What follows is Jon’s note:
Bob, Great to see you and Chris at the Prep at the Park gathering last Saturday! The turnout was terrific, and it was certainly a great night for baseball. SJP is an amazing school. It is an extraordinary privilege to serve as head of school. We are 165 years old (the oldest continuously-open high school in Minnesota). We were built on the shoulders and remarkable commitment of Saint John’s Abbey. And we have everything to look forward to!
We enrolled 280 students at Prep this fall in grades 6 to 12, 32 more than in fall 2020. Our students hail from 13 countries and 28 different communities in Minnesota. This fall, 56 international and domestic boarding students live in our dorm (aka Saint Michael Hall). For the first time ever, Saint Michael Hall is filled with both young men and young women.
I could not be prouder of this school, our faculty and staff, and our students. We are the top-ranked Catholic high school in Minnesota (and ranked #24 among the more than 1,100 Catholic high schools in the country), ranked among the top five best college prep high schools in Minnesota, and recognized among the top 5% best college prep private high schools in America. We were one of only six public and private high schools in Minnesota to be recognized by Newsweek magazine in the top 10% of all secondary school STEM programs in the country. We have much to be proud of at Prep – and a bright future ahead! All the best, Jon
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Astronomy, Earth, Space and Creation —
This brief, but incredible reflection contemplates the vast complexity of the universe, the singularity of the Earth, and how it all leads inexorably to a Creator. Thanks to Joe Mulheran ’64 for forwarding it:
https://mailchi.mp/407286062fa4/morning-reflection-5673812?e=6c91267be1
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Rob Culligan ’82: Helping Young Men
Realize Their Dreams —
(In this interview by Joe Burgess ‘96 of Moxie Wealth Management, Rob shares how he got started as a development officer, how his team created extra financial support for students during the pandemic, and the fulfillment he feels in helping young men realize their dreams.)
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Keeping track of our years —
Me at 16: This radio station is playing my song.
Me at 21: This bar is playing my song.
Me now: This grocery store is playing my song.
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Earlier this summer Mike Sharkey ’64 announced he was coming to town from Lincoln, NE and wanted some old 1964 pals to break bread with him. Gathered (from left) are Bob Wicker, Mike Sharkey, Jerry Sovell, Bill Reif (who came over from Wausau, WI), Jim Senden, Fred Senn and Leon Grahn. The photo was taken by Mike’s brother-in-law, Mike Scherer ’67.
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Looking Back: 1976 National Championship Team —
Season of Triumph Began With a Draw 45 Years Ago
By Frank Rajkowski
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Battle of the Sexes, True Love Division —
Dearest Lauren,
I'm so sorry for the things I said. I've been unable to sleep since I broke off our relationship last month. I think about you day and night. Your absence is breaking my heart and recently I've begun to realize that nobody can take your place. Sweetheart, I miss you so much. Please call me.
All my love, Robert
P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball Lottery.
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From Our Readers —
From Harry Burns SJP ’74/SJU ’78, Pearl Lake, Stearns County, MN —
(Ed’s Note: Harry replies to this from last issue: From Terry Kotnour ’64,—Did you know that you can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish?
(Editor’s Reply: Yes, but did you know you can lead a horse to water but you can’t lead a horticulture?)
Correction: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. Dorothy Parker
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From John Danielson SJP ’60/SJU ’64, Denver, CO —
NO St Thomas game!?! Doesn’t seem like football season. — John
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From Bob Neis ’65, St. Louis Park, MN —
ENERGY!!!!! This may have been your best ever.
Thank You, Thank You! — Bob
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From John Sipe SJP ’61/SJU ’65, St. Paul, MN —
Bob, Rob, Theo, Wick, —You guys put out a great newsletter. Great game, great reporting.
Is there any way you can report on how well the John Gagliardi Football Legacy Fund is doing? Thanks for giving it a plug each week.
Go Johnnies, — John
(Editor’s Note: In checking with Bernie Weber SJP ’63/SJU ’67 they promise to have a status report before the Bethel game. In the meantime procrastinators can send a check to St. John’s University in care of St. John’s University, PO Box 7222, Collegeville, MN 56321. Be sure to note in the check memo that your tax-deductible contribution is for the Gagliardi Legacy Fund.
If you would prefer to make your contribution via a credit card, please call 320-492-0851. If you’d rather make a pledge up to five years, you can notify John Young at jyoung@csbsju.edu and request a pledge form be sent to you. Or perhaps you can pick up a form at a home game.)
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From Tony Sandeen ’94, soon to be quarantined in a hotel in Hong Kong for three weeks after visiting the U.S. while fully vaccinated.
Wick, What the Hades? Punters for the J Club dinner will find location details confusing. I've fixed it for you.
Event Details:
Date: Saturday, October 9th
Time: 5 p.m. social hour followed by dinner and program
Location: Rat Hall, (aka Guild Hall or better a.k.a Old Gym)
Great to see you in Collegeville, what a day, what a game. — Tony
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From Mike Fiala ’69, Crystal, MN —
Another for the Philosophy Department humor, if it hasn’t been posted already: Rene Descartes walks into the bistro. The bartender says, “Bonjour, Rene. May I get you a glass of wine?” Descartes replies, “I think not.” And he disappears. — Mike
(Editor’s Reply: Very good, Mike…but I hope this isn’t too subtle for all the Business-Econ majors who read the UUN.)
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From Larry Schultz ’74, Vadnais Heights, MN, to Harry Burns who sent in the photo of Larry’s 2nd season ticket identified by “Imaginary Girl Friend”—
Not sure it was a good idea for you to send that to Wicker.
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From Gerard Gach ’81, Shrewsbury, MA —
Rob, Thanks greatly for the newsletter / re-cap / humor. Everyone has weighed in on the spectacular performance against Aurora however a few observations from the streaming seats (I experience the games vicariously from my home in Massachusetts).
PROs: Impressed with having replays this year, it was free and the broadcast quality (when my PC was not buffering) is super.
CON: That thick blue line across the top of the screen (score) blocked about 15% of the entire viewing area - and all the far sideline catches (or maybe not catches - as you could not see what happened behind 'big blue').
Was at SJU in August for Brother Mark Kelly's 60th (come 61st since COVID postponed it for a year). The place looked great. Nice organ pipes too! Best, — Gerard
(Editor’s Affirmation: I heard from at least three other readers giving similar “Pros” and “Cons” about the live-streaming; to wit: nice that it was free so far this year, with pretty good quality; and frustration with the blue line at the top of the broadcast. Hope the powers-that-be are listening to the feedback. UPDATE: Apparently it ain’t free viewing anymore.)
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From Father Dennis Lynch ’64, retired hospital chaplain, Stevens Point, WI —
Bob, it is good to have the season back and to receive your comments and info. Thank you! A little offering of jocularity for the lighter side -- possibly irreverent, but good. Be assured I didn't use it in my homily on the feast day.
Mary and Joseph were sitting around the breakfast table musing about death and dying. Mary said: "You know, Dear, I've been thinking about my death. I think that when I die, I will go to heaven body and soul." Joseph replied: "Gee, Mary, I think that's a big assumption."
(Editor’s Response: Badda Boom…)
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From Helmut “Fred” Hacker ’62, El Paso, TX —
Wonderful. Thanks. — Helmut
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From Paul Hamann ’63, Edina, MN —
Thought you'd like this [article linked below]. Loving the UUN. Appreciate the links. Go Johnnies! Best — Paul
(Editor’s Comment before the article: Dr. Paul Hamann is a retired pulmonary specialist who also is a loyal and knowledgeable Johnnie football fan. Paul also has been following, at first with skepticism and now with more attention, my clarion cries for the Johnnie Nation to raise their Vitamin D levels to health sustaining levels, say between 40 and 80 ng/mL, with 60 ng/mL being optimum for immune system maintenance. To all of you who have yet to do so, have your health provider check your D level and then act accordingly.)
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From Lindsay Novak Good ’06, Deephaven, MN —
We loved the shout out and picture! Great to see you at the game last weekend! — Lindsay
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From Anonymous, somewhere in MN —
Theo: I heard from a few buddies who said SJU didn’t charge for the video last week. That’s interesting, no? Change in philosophy or finally coming to their senses that no one else in the MIAC charges to watch games and you’re now charging tuition/room&board of ~200K for 4 years. The least you can do is allow the alumni to watch games for free for eternity.
I find it interesting they didn’t publish or promote the free video webcast. You’d think they’d be slapping themselves on the back. I wonder if it’s possibly a mistake as they’ve had many instances of not being able to successfully use technology over the years… Cheers — Anon
(Editor’s Reply: Must have been a glitch; you’ll be paying now, so you might as well all come up and watch the game in person.)
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Dinner and A Movie —
I was on a date with this really great lady.
Well, it wasn't really a date-date, more like we ate dinner and saw a movie together.
Then the plane landed.
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From Conrad Macina, UUN Humorologist, Landing, NJ —
I know the kicking game has been St. John’s Achilles heel in recent seasons. So glad the Johnnies have a handle on it for the next four!
Q: What do you call a genius on the St. Thomas campus?
A: A visitor.
* *
A First-Year Tommie co-ed arrived late for class. The professor asked, “Why are you late?”
“A boy was following me the whole way.”
“Why did that make you late?”
“He was walking real slow.”
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From Jim Conn ’64, Alexandria, MN —
Bob - great UUN edition capturing the thrill of victory against a class football program from Aurora College. I am however “shocked” at your horsey title and lead-in to this edition. [“Whoa, Nellie…We’re Now 1-0] Standby for repercussions from proud football Bennies and can-be-cantankerous-at-times Johnnie fans named Nellie. Continuous use of politically incorrect language in the UUN could jeopardize your standing amongst members of the fairer sex. — Jim
(Editor’s Apology to any Bennie readers named Nellie: I guess that would be you, Nellie Klein ’60, who with her husband Gary ’58, sits next to Jim and Anita Conn in Clemens Stadium.)
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From Nellie Klein ’60, St. Cloud, MN —
Rob — Thank you for that fine tribute to me …” Nellie” (whether intentional or not!) Your recap of the game was fantastic! It was like an amazing descriptively-written rerun of an excellent football game. Knowing the outcome of that game made it that much more enjoyable….less stressful. It definitely was one of those “Whew, thank God it’s over and thank God we won”-type games.
This was probably one of your finer moments as the UUN writer! Can tell you that I and all your readers appreciate the work and effort you put in weekly to keep the the Johnnie Nation alive and happy. This last week’s UUN was exceptional Well done, my favorite editor. — Nellie
(Editor’s Comment: Well, Jim Conn, you accuse me of insulting Bennies named Nell, and this Nellie thanks me for the tribute. Work it out among yourselves next game and give me a report by half time.)
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From Bill Draves ’64, Goodyear, AZ —
Wick, Au contraire! Your entry about power walking is so far off. I was doing power walking in the ’70's based on a book by Steve Reeves. To power walk I wore a 30 pound vest (which I still have and, man, is it heavy!); 5 pound weights on each foot; and, 5 pound weights in each hands. It was a challenge and I did it for about a year! Keep up the good work! — Bill
(Editor’s Response: The Health Rant suggestion from last issue described power walking as brisk walking to get one’s heart rate up while breathing in deeply. It was designed to encourage sedentary folk to walk deliberately at a faster rate than usual in order to attain health benefits for fitness, heart health and immune building. What you describe is pure masochism and would discourage most normal people from taking their first (ahem) steps toward health. I am surprised you did it for a full year.)
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Overheard at the St. Thomas Student Center—
“95% of people are completely STUPID! Luckily, I'm in the other 10%.”
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Battle Between the Sexes, Honesty in Relationships —
A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue the relationship after their vacations were over. "It's only fair to warn you, Jody," Bill said, "I'm a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf."
"Well, since you're being honest, so will I." Jody said. "I'm a hooker."
"I see." he said. Then, brightening, he smiled. "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
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FINAL WORD —
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"
"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $12.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"
The ostrich says "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.
"Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.
"Same for me" says the ostrich.
"That will be $24.20" says the bartender.
Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs who always agrees with me."
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Well, that’s enough…we have to take time to prepare for the Knights of Martin Luther. One way — whether you attend the game or not — is to yell in a primal way:
GO JOHNNIES ! !
(Turn the Knights into Daze…or something like that.)
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Submitted, barely on time,
R.L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64, St. Paul, MN
651-699-4697
theowick@aol.com
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