UUN: Our first step to a championship? (UUN #2-19)
Dear Wrapped-In-Red Readers —
We’re back in the saddle again. Students are back, school’s in session, the various Fall teams are champing at the bit to prove their mettle, and we’re ready for the first football game this season, an away contest in friendly, fairly nearby Memononie, Wisconsin this Saturday. I’m looking forward to seeing many of you at UW-Stout this weekend.
So, just who are the Stout Blue Devils anyway? They are a pretty good team that generally lands midway in the WIAC, much like Gustavus in our conference…solid, well-coached, often dangerous but always seemingly a few players short from duking it out mano y mano with Whitewater, Oshkosh and La Crosse consistently. Last year they turned up a 5-5 overall record, 3-4 in their conference. This being the second year we’ve enjoyed a home ‘n home with them, you may recall that last year the Blue Devils came up to Collegeville for our first non-conference game, and slunk home after losing 27-0. However the year before they hosted nationally-ranked St. Thomas and upset them 25-22, so they are not to be trifled with.
The week following our contest, the Blue Devils host Gustavus, so the result of that game should tell us a lot about both of those teams. I expect a decisive, but not run-away Johnnie victory…too bad we can’t bring more players to an away game since that could help keep the score manageable if our first and second strings overpower the Stout gang. This will be the last time we play Stout for the foreseeable future…they told Gary Fasching that after this year they’re not interested in playing us again. “We’re going in a different direction,” they told Gary. Later Gary learned their new direction was to play St. Olaf in the preseason. Oh, well. Nobody likes to lose. It just makes it harder and harder to find an opponent for non-conference games. Nobody wants to play us. Believe it or not, the only team willing to play us, even tentatively right now, is Mary Hardin-Baylor…not particularly good for either team.
What to look for Saturday at Stout? Watch out for a young (all sophs) but experienced passing attack led by quarterback Sean Borgerding and his primary receivers Levy Hamer and Tyler Seymour; all three of them earned all-conference honors last year. So let’s assume they’ll come out passing and will provide a meaningful test of our reconstructed defensive backfield. I don’t expect much from their running backs against our imposing D-line, but they do have four of five offensive lineman back as starters. Defensively the Blue Devils return eight starters and are anchored by all-conference honors-receiving seniors Luke Wilz, middle linebacker; Aaron Wisecup on the D-line, and cornerback Kierre Rhodes. The Blue Devils are predicted to finish fifth in the WIAC by conference coaches.
* * * *
Blue Devil Job Competition —
Two young graduates, one from UW-Madison and the other from UW-Stout, applied for a single position at a Milwaukee-based computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the UW-Stout applicant and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to the other applicant.”
“And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct,” asked the rejected Blue Devil.
“We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed,” said the department manager.
“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” the Stout applicant inquired.
“Simple,” said the department manager, “Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I.’”
* * * *
How About St. John’s? —
To listen to Head Coach Gary Fasching, especially when he is channeling his Inner John Gagliardi, we’re lucky to be able to put a team on the field given all the vacancies from last year’s standout graduates. It’s true that we lost most of our receivers, both wide-outs and tight ends; and it’s true we lost some outstanding defensive linemen as well as most of the secondary; and did I mention the kicker/punter? But, since we’re ranked third in the d3football.com preseason poll, I guess we have some talent left.
Our offensive line, featuring preseason All-American Dan Greenheck, is said by some observers to be the best they’ve ever seen. And we have a rock solid backfield of runaway steamrollers (Kai Barber and Kenneth Udoibok) and swift gazelles (Henry Trost and Liam Lannon) that will challenge, if not embarrass, many defensive lines and d-backs this season. While it’s true we lost a great deal of talent and experience from our pass-receiving corps, I understand from insiders that we have some new eye-opening, jet-assisted wide receivers ready to roll that will keep everyone honest on the defensive side. I can’t wait to see who fills the holes at tight end. We lost a fine punter/kicker but have recruited five new ones! Our D-line and secondary, while losing All-Americans Nathan Brinker (a force of nature) and the incomparable Max Jackson, have some experienced dynamos such as junior linebacker Danny Pietruszewski and sophomore defensive lineman Michael Wozniak with which to rebuild our very promising defense. But, of course, the key to everything and one of the main reasons for our high preseason ranking is All-American senior quarterback Jackson Erdmann. He is posed to continue his onslaught of Johnnie, MIAC, regional and national records that he set last season. If he goes down…well, just say a novena that that doesn’t happen.
We’ll learn much after this game: the team’s character; it’s depth; our ability to fill some huge graduation gaps; it’s overall talent; and who will step up to claim some important vacancies. Our kids want to know all this themselves. They have a major goal and each game will serve as a building block toward it.
* * * *
Map of Menomonie showing location of the football stadium:
There is free parking in the north section of Lot 4. No tailgating allowed there.
* *
Speaking of Tailgating —
If interested in tailgating Stout allows classic experience in the restricted south end of Lot 4 near the stadium. There is a one-time charge of $15. Propane gas only, no charcoal. Some of the usual SJU tailgating devotees will be there, beginning as early as 10 am. Others of us plan to attend the SJU Pregame Party at the Silver Dollar Saloon before dropping by the tailgate.
Stout Tailgating Policies:
https://athletics.uwstout.edu/sports/2009/8/13/FB_0813094947.aspx?path=football
* *
SJU Pregame Party —
You are invited to the Stout pregame party to be held at the newly-renovated Silver Dollar Saloon in downtown Menomonie [ https://www.silverdollar315.com ]. This party is the brainchild of Mike Muehlbauer ’91 of nearby Eau Claire. Mike is a football alum who coordinated this affair with Michael Cummings ’89, a senior development officer in SJU I-A.
The Silver Dollar opens at 10 am on Saturdays; they will offer Happy Hour prices and hungry folks can order off the menu. Our party runs from 10:30 am to 1 pm. The establishment is located at 315 Main St E, Menomonie, WI 54751.
There is no cost to attend, but please RSVP for planning purposes. The football game kicks off at 1 p.m. at Williams Stadium in Menomonie, just a few blocks way. (If you forget to register, drop in anyway…just wear red.)
Register here: http://sjualum.csbsju.edu/s/1433/gid3/interior.aspx?sid=1433&pgid=5168&gid=3&cid=8013&ecid=8013&post_id=0
* * * *
Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes '87, Mike Carr '77 and Charlie Carr '03 will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 23rd season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet.
(Note: KDIZ-1570 AM is a new affiliate serving the Twin Cities Metro area this year.)
* *
Listening via the Internet: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Viewing via live streaming: https://boxcast.tv/view/uw-stout-football-vs-st-johns-sept-7-2019-676719
* * * *
SJU Game Day Experience —
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kbg017GQazc
(You really ought to make some of our home games…)
* * * *
SJU Picked To Win Conference By MIAC Coaches —
The Saint John's University football team was picked to repeat as conference champions in the 2019 MIAC Preseason Coaches' poll released Thursday, Aug. 22.
The Johnnies earned seven of the nine first-place votes and 63 total points to finish first in the poll. St. Thomas received the other two first-place votes and 56 total points to finish second, four points ahead of third-place Bethel.
MIAC head football coaches voted for every team in the conference except their own. Points were assigned for each vote (eight for a first-place vote, seven for second, etc.). Teams are ranked in order of highest point total to lowest, with vote totals listed and first-place votes shown in parentheses.
2019 MIAC Football Preseason Coaches' Poll
1. Saint John's (7), 63
2. St. Thomas (2), 56
3. Bethel, 52
4. Concordia, 43
5. Gustavus, 36
6. St. Olaf, 29
7. Carleton, 19
8. Augsburg, 17
9. Hamline, 9
* * * *
Erdmann Accepts Gagliardi Trophy At Johnnie Standup —
This video features Jackson Erdmann '19 receiving his Gagliardi Trophy during the annual Johnnie Standup event put on by the J-Club and SJU Football. In it, Jackson gives his acceptance speech and then is interviewed by the “Voice of the Johnnies,” Mark Lewandowski.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AJIBo4jFxg&feature=youtu.be (22:21 min. and worth the time for many of you.)
* * * *
Battle Between The Sexes, Dating Game Version —
Girls, you know you're on a bad date when:
You order a Double Whopper and he says, "Hey, my name ain't Rockefeller, honey."
You've never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.
He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.
Your dinner reservations are under "Loser, party of 2.”
He's especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.
He calls to tell you he'll pick you up, just as soon as the standoff with the police is over.
He's been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice.
* * * *
2019 SJU Football Schedule
(All games start at 1 pm, except the St. Thomas game, naturally, which starts at 1:10 pm.)
* * * *
Around the MIAC —
1st Saturday, September 7
Simpson at Bethel
Martin Luther at Gustavus
Concordia at UW-LaCrosse
Augsburg at Ripon
Macalester at Carleton
Crown at St. Olaf
St. John’s at UW-Stout
Trinity Int’l at St. Thomas
* *
Wick’s Picks for Week One —
(No scores predicted this week…not enough time to study all the teams; however:)
Bethel by a TD or two over Simpson;
Gustavus by many, many TDs over poor Martin Luther;
Concordia maybe over La Crosse, but probably not;
Ripon over the Auggies;
Mac over Carleton;
St. Olaf very big over Crown;
SJU by a few TDs over Stout; and
Trinity easing by U$T—okay, just kidding; it will be another Caruso-esque smear.
* * * *
Bennie Volleyballers Are For Real —
CSB beat No. 4 UW-Eau Claire 3-1 on the Blugolds' home court in Eau Claire, Wis. After falling behind early in the first set, CSB won 25-23, then went on to win the second set 25-18. Eau Claire bounced back and used a tough offense to win the third set 25-18, but Saint Benedict came out strong and built a big lead early to win the fourth set 25-15 to win the match.
The win pushes CSB's overall record to 4-1, including a pair of wins against ranked teams after also beating No. 15 Mary Hardin-Baylor over the weekend. The win also gives Saint Benedict momentum heading into its home tournament this weekend.
CSB is at home for the first time this season Friday and Saturday, Sept. 6-7, when it hosts a four-team tournament with Concordia, Morris and Northwestern. CSB's first game of the tournament is at 7 p.m. Friday against Morris.
* * * *
Benedictine Follow-Through —
AA Stearns County truck driver is driving along I-94 on the way to the Twin Cities, when he spots a monk from St. John’s Abbey standing by his disabled car. The driver pulled over to give the cleric a ride to where he can find some road assistance.
So he continues driving down the highway when he sees a man wearing a St. Thomas sweatshirt along the side of the road and thinks, “Hot damn! A Tommie that I could run over!” So he speeds up and heads straight for him.
At the last second he remembers the priest sitting next to him. Full of guilt and horror for his murderous thoughts, he swerves at the last second to miss him, but still hears a thump. He looks behind, no sign of the St. Thomas man.
He says to the priest, “Wow, Father, that was a close one, I almost hit that Tommie!”
The priest then replies, “That’s ok, my son. I got him with my door.”
* * * *
Requiescat in Pace, Corwin and Hilary —
The last time I saw Fr. Hilary Thimmesh '50 at the end of July I didn’t get to talk with him. It was at the Abbey Cemetery where we had just buried Fr. Corwin Collins SJP '48/SJU '53. Hilary was at one end of the coffin where mourners can throw a little dirt down on the deceased and I was at the other where you can dip a sprig into Holy Water to sprinkle on the body. By the time I was finished Hilary had disappeared. He was 91, wearing a soft ball cap and dressed in civvies. Two weeks later Hilary himself slipped away, “unexpectedly” it was reported in his obituary.
How lucky I was to have had these two wonderful men, monks, priests, mentors, Johnnies in my life for well over a half century. Both left some kind of mark on me, one that left me in their absence feeling mostly gratitude and deep affection for both. To quote Larry Haeg SJP ’63/SJU ‘67, who obviously feels about them as I do when he somewhat convolutedly explained why he also attended both funerals, “I couldn’t not be here.” Funny, but I knew exactly what he meant.
Corwin was my prefect for two years in Prep School, where he was known both humorously and with respect as “The Rock” or “Rocky’: But that wasn’t a name you’d dare call him in person. I remember him as friendly but strict, and controlled but fair. You played by the rules, Corwin was most cordial, but if you misbehaved, lied or otherwise acted in typical teenage anti-social ways, he would be all over you. Remember “In loco parentis?” Corwin had it down pat. He had this signature half-grin, which his eulogist described as his “Mona Lisa smile”; we weren’t sure if he was kind of enjoying us or was about to clobber us. In my junior year in Prep School I rashly signed him up as a member of the Paul Anka Fan Club, complete with a club card made out to “Corwin Collins.” He did not appreciate that one bit, probably because I dared to write that without “Fr.” and “OSB” showing disrespect. Knowing him better years later I presume, after chewing me out, he went back to the Abbey and laughed about being a member of the Paul Anka Fan Club to his peers. I remained in contact only sporadically over the years he was a pastor in different Benedictine-run parishes in central Minnesota, but enjoyed reconnecting at football games in recent years when he sat with his monk confreres enjoying the fall weather and the powerful St. John’s team. Up until just the past few years Corwin looked to be 15-20 years younger than he was, and his body was still “rock” solid. I heard at his funeral that he had been battling cancer for a few years, and it was just recently where it overtook his ability to fight it off.
Corwin Collins, OSB
http://www.saintjohnsabbey.org/monastic-life/history/obituaries/father-corwin-john-collins-osb/
* *
My acquaintance/friendship with Hilary was much different. For my first two years with him— as a college junior and senior — he was my prefect on Second Tommy, Short Wing, as well as my Chaucer prof. After graduation Hilary became my touchstone with St. John’s and over the years I did quite a bit with him, mostly in the Twin Cities where we had a toothbrush with his name on it ready for his spontaneous overnight visits, but also looking him up when I returned to campus. To me he was the archetypal Benedictine monk — a bit austere, gentlemanly, reserved, humble, scholarly, dedicated to his vocation and to his monastery, but with a fine sense of humor and appreciation for the absurd. It was those latter characteristics that served him so well as a “prefect” first, then “faculty resident” for Second Floor Tommy’s freshmen for 65 years, a tenure practically unheard of. I don’t know of any other monk who was so much of the place we call St. John’s. He loved the Abbey, its buildings and lands, and his fellow monks. In his last words to me earlier this summer, he expressed sorrow for the lack of new young monks entering his beloved monastery to take the place of those of his era who have or are soon to pass. “We’re dying,” he said.
Hilary Thimmesh OSB
In the next issue or so — for as long as memories and anecdotes are forthcoming — I will gladly include thoughts and remembrances about these two monks here in the UUN. I have a couple about Hilary myself that illustrate so much about him that I’ll share with you myself next time.
In the meantime, especially for you who have never experienced a monk’s funeral at the Abbey, I’d like to direct you to the link below that plays the chant that our monks begin singing before the Funeral Mass from behind the stalls on either side of the sanctuary as they process in, meet in front, bow to the altar, bow to each other, and take their places in the stalls. It’s ethereal, it’s historic, it’s reassuring, it’s holy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjrsqJaLDOg (2:16)
“Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.”
* * * *
Alcohol Alone —
“Young man,” said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant, who had been hauled before him for public drunkenness yet again, “It’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present and sorry state!"
”Oh, thank you so much for saying that," replied the man.
"What on earth do you mean?" asked the judge.
The man replied, ”Everybody else says it’s all my fault!”
* * * *
More Scenes From Stearns County —
Professor Terrence Buckner was late; he had dilly-dallied too long at his cabin on Lake Osakis Monday morning and had to get back to his classroom in St. Cloud.
As Terry was speeding toward town, he passed by a car, an unmarked Minnesota Highway Patrol car, sitting atop the ramp at Avon. State Trooper Myron Wilzbacher pulled Terry over. When Terry explained that he was an English professor late for a class he was teaching at St. Cloud State University, Myron took pity on him and let him off with a warning. Before he went back to his car Myron said, “Slow down and drive safe.”
Terry felt obligated to correct him. `Excuse me, Sir, but it should be, "Slow down and drive safely. You said, "Drive safe."'
Myron looked at the professor for a few seconds, then said, “Uh-huh…just one minute, Sir.” The trooper walked back to his car and wrote him a $72 speeding ticket.
* * * *
Not Welcome At The La —
An infectious disease walks into the La Playette.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve infectious diseases here.”
The infectious disease says, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
(Editor’s Note: And speaking of e coli, the danger to campus drinking water is now past.)
* * * *
From Our Readers —
From Fr. Anthony Ruff, OSB, ’86, ’93 SOT-Seminary, St, John’s Abbey —
Dear Rob, A young monk, Fr. Lew Grobe ’06, told me about your email send-outs during football season. I’m a big Johnnie fan and would enjoy getting them. Can you please add me to your list? I teach theology and run the National Catholic Youth Choir up here. Pax, — Fr. Anthony
* *
From Sister Lois Wedl, OSB, ’53, St. Benedict’s Monastery —
Bob! You are totally amazing…just not sure how recollected I will be during prayers that begin in 15 minutes! [Ed’s Interjection: S. Lois’ timely reception of the first UUN was purely coincidental; I hope it didn’t distract her at prayer.] Sincerely, you are amazing! Hope you had fun in New York!
And yes, Sister Janine Mettling ‘93/SOT '08 and I will be at the Johnnie game on the September 21 which just happens to be my grandnephew’s 21st birthday I am sure his mom and dad and grandparents will be at the game, also. CHEERS. . . and gratitude. — S. Lois
(Editor’s Note: S. Lois will enjoy watching Season 2, Week 1 of the Johnnie Question of the Week produced by junior Sam Chalmers. One of the respondents to the question of what these players like most and worst about Fall camp is Johnny Wedl, a sophomore defensive lineman, her grandnephew. Another sophomore I enjoyed hearing from is Michael Wozniak, grandson of one my heroes, the late, great Leroy Lilly '55. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Amkv5r2BsTI&feature=youtu.be )
* *
From Michael “Wally” Goth ’89, Brooklyn Park, MN —
Hey Wicker! Pat Hall [’89] and I have a good friend whose son is an SJU freshman. Friend’s name is Roger Stelljes. Please add him to the UUN distribution list.
I’ve been sending him clips of the UUN for years. Now he can enjoy it firsthand.
Thanks for all you do! We are! St. John’s! — Wally
(Editor’s Further Contribution to Wally’s “We are! St. John’s!”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL5byP0ylW8 )
* *
From Jim Senden ’64, New Brighton, MN —
Thanks, Wick, you have done it again. I’m looking forward to another fun and informative year. — Jim
* *
From CJ Ross ’64, San Diego, CA —
Wow Bob — your intro sure got my attention; lots is challenges (Freshmen low enrollment 2 years in a row; St Thomas out of the MIAC; new “interim” Pres; SJU only ranked #3…we should be #1; and we lost Fr. Hillary but 91 is a very good long life — RIP, good and faithful man.
Oh well, I’m sure we will hear more about why there is need for efforts to Make SJU Great Again (just kidding). Good to hear from you, ole buddy, and Go Johnnies In 2019! — CJ
(Editor’s Note: Here’s the bio on SJU’s new Interim President, Dr. Eugene McAllister: https://www.csbsju.edu/about/saint-johns-university/office-of-the-president )
* *
From Larry SJP ‘60 and Renee Jordan, Brooklyn Park, MN —
Hey Bob...Thanks so much...so fun and funny! — Larry and Renee
* *
From Wayne Hergott ’57, Edina, MN —
As always, nice job!!! See you Saturday. — Wayne
* *
From Gary Kordosky ’64, Tucson, AZ —
I was a worried soul this past week waiting and then wondering if the first UUN of Fall 2019 was ever coming. The worry was relieved when the issue appeared in my email and I knew there was a god looking out for all the faithful Johnnie fans.
Sounds like you are in a busy time. Hope all is well with you and your family. Give Chris a hug for me. — Gary
* *
From Bernie Kukar ’62, Edina, MN —
[You owe me] More than 1 beer. By the way, her Grandmother was really good looking!
* *
From John Chromy ’64, Washington, DC —
Bob---thanks for the UUN (my earliest sign that fall is coming)—hope you had a good trip to New York. Go Johnnies and Bennies Admissions and Recruiting offices.!!!!! — John
P.S. Kukar would have swept that Grandmother right off her feet!!
* *
From Nellie Klein ’60, St. Cloud, MN —
Rob...It’s so good to have you back in my 2019 “football world.” What fun. Football season approaches and I am so ready for Johnnie football! Had a terrific football visit with Ryan Wimmer (one of my friends and one of my favorite Johnnie linebackers) the other day. He is very high on the Johnnie offensive line! Said they are BIG and strong. (Quite a compliment coming from such a terrific defensive player!)
Gary '58 and I intended to go to the first game in WI but my sister passed away this past Friday and her celebration/funeral mass is next Saturday! Exciting time of the year! So looking forward to the upcoming season and the arrival of your “prize winning” UNN. Go Johnnies! — Nellie
* *
From Harry Burns SJP ‘74/SJU ‘78, St. Cloud (Pearl Lake, actually), MN —
Hi Bob. Glad to have the UUN back. Hope you had a good trip to NY.
FWIW, no photos on mine.
Do you mind if I tweet the link to your website archive on my @johnniefootball Twitter account? — Harry
(Editor’s Reply: No problem. Readers into tweets and the like might follow Harry on Twitter, whatever that is. Harry mentioned not receiving the two photos embedded in the last issue. Drat it! By switching to a new way to send the UUN I’ve run into some glitches that need to be worked out. Because of that I’m assuming the same will happen to this issues’ two photos. You can view them and the missed two earlier by going to my new, but woefully incomplete archive website: https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com/news)
* *
From Lynn Bormann SJP ’86, Fargo, ND —
Rob, Many thanks for your continued time and commitment in creating the UUN for all of Johnnie nation to enjoy! Can you please add my dad Ron Youso '64 and my aunt Cathy Mumma '77 to your list serve? God bless, — Lynn
* * * *
Overheard at last year’s Summer Reunion —
An engineer and a psychiatrist meet up for their 20th college reunion this past June.
The engineer says, "I'm surprised to see you still looking so young. I'd have thought listening to people's problems all day would have given you a mass of wrinkles."
The psychiatrist says, "You think we listen?"
* * * *
Readers talk about recruitment and college costs —
From Jeff Olson ’93, Bentleigh (Melbourne), Victoria, Australia —
Hi, Bob, it's great to have you back. The Johnnies are looking outrageously good this year and I can't wait for the season to start.
Regarding SJU enrollment numbers, this website has every bit of data you could want on Minnesota higher education. Undoubtedly SJU is all over this info, but it may be new to you. The short story is this: enrollment in university education is declining across the board, Minnesota private universities are holding up surprisingly well compared to other types. The only expanding customer base is in online-universities. The second chart on this page is most telling.
http://www.ohe.state.mn.us/sPages/student_enroll_data.cfm
The online enrollment gives a hint. Costs are going through the roof and online services tackle that challenge. If I had a son and he were going to SJU, I would have to drop about US$55k/yr (http://www.ohe.state.mn.us/Estimator/LifetimeDisplay.cfm), well over US$200k by the time a degree is earned less whatever financial aid we get. I have it pretty bad, to be fair, as I'm not a Minnesota resident (or even still live in the US), but that's a lot of dough in anyone's book.
I loved my time at SJU and wish I had a son (three girls instead, sigh) who I could send back to the USA for a study exchange at SJU in the very least. But SJU, and higher ed in general, faces a real value challenge. And as special as SJU is (and I believe it to be very special), it has a challenge in that there is a limited number of Minnesota families ready to commit to $200k of spend. And the costs are increasing faster than the number of families willing to accept them.
I reckon SJU has a real advantage with its Benedictine tradition and the men who have sustained the institution for so long. They are committed to a mission and they'll find a way to make sure the school continues to deliver to that mission. They have a challenge in front of them, no doubt, but I believe they will be shown a path. — Jeff
* *
From Bob Neis ’65, St. Louis Park, MN —
Re the UUN, Great! I talked to Concordia (Moorhead) Admissions; they were down more that SJU. Liberal Arts colleges are in trouble. Need major changes.
— Bob
* *
From Mike O’Connor ’57, Burnsville, MN —
Great issue Rob. I’m concerned too about the seemingly inconsistent No’s 2 & 5 and the premature departure of Michael Hemesath. During our era, SJU heavily recruited central MN small towns and metro Catholic schools. Now it seems the emphasis is on foreign and minority students. There has to be a proper balance. I don’t think we have it any more, and I don’t see it turning around anytime soon. I hope I’m wrong. — Mike
(Editor’s Response: From all I see, SJU and CSB are still heavily recruiting students from Central and Metro Minnesota, but there are fewer students available and those left are all being sought by competitive colleges with deeper pockets. We seem to be at a disadvantage because we’re unable to match other colleges’ aid packages. Which brings me to the subject of (a) building our endowment; and (b) growing the number of Fellows members. What we could really use are a few wealthy alums to donate several millions each right away for us to stay in the game. Until that happens, it’s up to us normal struggling types to bolster our scholarship building endeavors. I hope readers will consider becoming Fellows, which means setting up an automatic giving program by month, quarter or annually. The school just goes into your VISA (or whatever) account and withdraws your set amount per your directions; the minimum for the Fellows program is $1,000 a year and all of it goes into scholarships and financial aid. Mine is taken out quarterly and I don’t notice it most of the time. Alums can also give Sustaining Gifts of a lesser amount, but given regularly automatically. Call 320-363-2011 for more info. It all goes to student aid.)
* *
From Pete Regnier ’65, St. Paul, MN —
Interesting regarding enrollment being down. When I signed up for auditing classes at UST this year I asked why there were fewer options available this semester. I was told because so many classes were full of regular students from their largest enrollment ever. I have not verified that but I assume the person knew what she was saying was true. There was an interesting report on CBS news a couple of days ago about the trend in the Northeast and Midwest for small private colleges closing because of declining enrollment. — Pete
(Editor’s Comment: I don’t think it’s any secret that U$T’s record enrollment this year and last came in part at the expense of CSB-SJU. It seems they can now buy all students away from us, not just athletes!)
* *
From Jeff Bretherton ‘93, West Fargo, ND —
Rob, Great first issue for 2019...I thought I would help on a couple questions you asked in it: the schedule this year (and every year) allows for 10 games to be played over 11 weeks. With 8 other MIAC schools playing football, only leaves 2 non conference games to pick up....we are lucky to have found two.
The enrollment issue is both very simple and extremely hard to fix quickly. The demographics of the tradition drawing area for SJU/CSB and several of the other MIAC colleges has shifted dramatically during the last decade...smaller families, fewer young men going to college, more diversity in those traditionally strong areas has all led to fierce competition for a significantly smaller pool of students to pick from....that coupled with the fact that two of our primary competitors for students have both received mega gifts (one $50MM and one $40MM) that were designated/restricted for student financial aid and immediately deployed has resulted in a top prospective student seeing a difference of between $4,000-7,000 on the merit side of the aid packages they would qualify for at SJU/CSB versus UST and GAC. UST and GAC can offer significantly higher aid and on a $50-60k sticker price, that makes a huge difference. To fix this at SJU/CSB the next campaign will have to focus on Endowment for student financial aid and raise the money quickly or hope that one of the real wealthy alum donors dies and has an estate gift designated for such. Look forward to seeing you at the first home game. — Jeff
* *
From an Anonymous Alum —
Regarding your item in the first issue showing how SJU and CSB were ranked #1 and #2 best colleges for employment in Minnesota, we Benedictine-taught alums don’t brag, but the Zippia results ought to be on every billboard on I-94 and every high school counselor's email every day.
* * * *
School of Theology, Prayers of Petition Department —
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.
However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was cheating on him and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day.
So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked: "Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbor, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"
And a great voice was heard from above — BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME."
* * * *
The Last Word —
A Pre-Law Classic —Interrogating Witnesses Division —
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”
* * * *
It’s time to bid sweet adieu. Whether you’re in Menomonie, listening to your radio or watching the live stream, just remember to holler:
GO JOHNNIES!
Raise Hell With Those Blue Devils (or something like that.)
* * * *
R. L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64
St. Paul, MN
651-699-4697
* * * *