UUN: The Playoffs - Let Them Begin! (UUN #13-19)
Dear Eager, Delighted and Maybe a Little Nervous SJU Fans -
The official accounting of last Saturday’s game was worded thusly: SJU completed its regular-season schedule with a 47-14 non-conference win over Rose-Hulman (Ind.) Nov. 16 in Collegeville. The Johnnies registered 410 yards of offense, an average of 7.3 yards per play, and forced five turnovers en route to a 47-0 lead. All seven SJU touchdowns were scored by sophomores.
Sophomore Wide Receiver Ravi Alston makes one of his patented TD receptions against Rose-Hulman last Saturday. Ravi has made several similarly-acrobatic catches this season. (This photo and other game photos by Libby Auger.)
A real tromp, right? The news release copy above tells you most of what you need to know. But that wasn’t all of it. Sitting up in the President’s Suite a bunch of us gathered by the windows were wondering, particularly in the first half, why the Johnnies didn’t look very sharp. Some of us even had concerns about our longevity in the playoffs if we continued to play like that when we faced real competition. We weren’t alone; listening to Coach Gary Fasching '81 being interviewed after the game, he said the same thing, at least about not looking sharp, that we had plenty to work on this week.
What he didn’t talk about were some of the referees’ calls. One was such a seeming blatant non-call that an irate fan was removed from the stadium after he went to the sidelines to yell at the ref. And while it’s notable and neat that all our TDs were scored by sophomores, we have to keep in mind that we had the senior D-III Quarterback of the Year directing plays and throwing the passes.
What was frustrating for the coach and many observers shivering in the stands was the lack of a consistent running game, or even short passing game, to allow us ball control and to make consistent plays for sustained first down yardage. Too many missed tackles also. Yeah, we scored a lot of TDs, but most of those were from lightning-strike long passes and an interception for a touchdown. Elsewhere in this issue the UnCasual Fan comments on this matter, taking a different viewpoint, but it was nevertheless concerning to a lot of us.
Rose-Hulman couldn’t do much against our defense that played very well once again until the scrubs came in, allowing a couple of meaningless scores…but RHIT held the ball 37 minutes to SJU’s 22. Amazingly, given the final score, we each had about the same number of first downs, and — more bad news going into the playoffs — we each had the same number of penalties, seven. We sure can understand Gary’s disappointment. Speaking of disappointments, our attendance was a paltry 3,800. Still, a nearby game in St. Paul with huge MIAC and Regional importance with St. Thomas hosting Bethel only drew 3,200. The Tommies won 17-7, knocking the Royals out of any at-large playoff consideration, while the Toms themselves were overlooked by the committee as well.
Lest these comments seem too negative, they really aren’t meant to be: we won handily against some fairly good competition while not playing our sharpest ball. We showed the ability to strike at any time from any place on the field. And we are going into the playoffs without any serious recent injuries. We still have a glorious offensive line, Jackson Erdmann and his talented receivers, some fine running backs, a defensive cadre that continues to improve…and a kicker who was five for seven in extra points.
Joyous teammates congratulate sophomore defensive back #7 Tommy Deters in the end zone after the lad's pick-six interception for our last score against Rose-Hulman.
We are all excited by the Johnnies (a) making the playoffs as the only representative of the MIAC; (b) getting a home playoff game with the possibility of one or two more if all the cards fall right; and going deep if not ALL-THE-WAY to the championship. All we have to do now is win the first game against the Aurora University Spartans (9-1, 7-0 NACC) in the first round. Hear that, boys? All we have to do is WIN!
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Critiquing Nutrisystem —
Two bulky Aurora Spartan football linemen were walking downtown to one of their favorite pubs near the Fox River when they spotted a sign in a health food store. It read, “Lose 13 pounds and seven inches on Nutrisystem!”
One of the Spartans turned to the other and said, “Dude, I can totally see dropping a few pounds…but I’d look ridiculous at 5’5”.”
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What about Aurora? —
As noted above, the Aurora University Spartans went undefeated (7-0) in its Northern Athletic Collegiate Conference (NACC). They also won two of their three non-conference games for a season record of 9-1. Their only loss was to Hope College 34-32; unranked Hope also made the Div-III playoffs, hosting No. 22-ranked Wartburg. The Spartans went through most of their conference schedule like a meat cleaver through a veal cutlet, with only nearby Benedictine University giving them a close battle (27-25). Otherwise Aurora puts up very high scoring numbers, much like U$T trouncing Augsburg, Hamline and Carleton.…and Concordia this year. Without knowing for sure, it appears that the NACC isn’t the toughest conference in Division III, but it’s also readily apparent that Aurora is pretty darn strong. They score a lot but they also give up yards too. Aurora is headed to the NCAA Division III Football Playoffs for the fifth time in program history and first since 2008. Contrast this to SJU’s 30th time.
Somewhat notably, the Spartans are coached by Don Beebe, who played in six Super Bowls during a nine-season NFL career, winning one with the Green Bay Packers. After retiring from the NFL, Beebe founded House of Speed, in Aurora, which specializes in training athletes to perform better by enhancing speed and character. House of Speed has trained 100,000 athletes of various levels and sports, including more than 40 professional athletes such as Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo and Michael Turner of the Atlanta Falcons. Beebe coached football at Aurora Christian High School from 2004 to 2013, leading the team to three state championship appearances and two championships. Beebe is a sought-after motivational speaker and in 2012 published a memoir, "Six Rings from Nowhere" chronicling his journey from construction worker to NFL record holder. He lives in Aurora with his wife, Diana. His son, Chad, is a wide receiver with the Minnesota Vikings. Larry Haeg ’61/‘67 forwarded me this inspiring 6-minute video on Don Beebe’s career: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek6fyA8DWdE
Who to watch with Aurora? The Spartans are led by an outstanding junior quarterback, Gavin Zimbelman #10, who set a new single-season record for touchdown passes in the NACC while also setting new school single-season and career records in numerous categories including single season: yards passing, completions, attempts and touchdowns, and career records in yards passing, attempts, completions, and touchdowns. He also was named to the CoSIDA District VII Academic All-District Team with a 3.92 GPA so he’s no dumb jock.
His favorite targets are senior WR Jacolby Maxwell # 81, who is tops in Div. III with 21 TDs. He was honored last week by the NACC as the NACC Offensive Player of the Week and named to the D3football.com Team of the Week. Aurora University senior tight end Colton Jewell #9 made D3football’s team of the week twice this year. They pass more than they run but their running game is no slouch either. Their offensive line looks huge. We have to take them very seriously.
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Aurora University is located right in the middle of Aurora, Illinois, which is the second largest city in the state. The school was founded in 1893 as Mendota Seminary connected with the Advent Christian Church in nearby Mendota, IL. before it moved within a few years to Aurora, thanks to a benefactor named Charles Eckhart. The school then changed its name to Aurora College and broadened into a traditional liberal arts curriculum.
In 1971, Aurora College separated from the Advent Christian Church, and in 1985, changed its name to Aurora University to better reflect the breadth of its academic programs. Aurora University now is a four-year, private, nonprofit, fully accredited higher education institution offering students an excellent education while maintaining one of the lowest private tuition rates in Illinois. Aurora offers 40 undergraduate majors, numerous minors, a wide variety of master's degrees, several graduate certificates in education, nursing and business, and online doctoral degrees in education and social work. The school’s undergraduate enrollment is about 3,800, a little bigger than the combined CSB and SJU.
The Aurora campus is based primarily around a traditional quadrangle and adjacent areas. In total, the campus is approximately 32 acres. Nearly all buildings constructed by the university have red tile roofs, a stipulation of Charles Eckhart in his initial donation in the early days of Aurora College. (He who has the gold rules.) Aurora University fields 22 NCAA Division III intercollegiate athletic teams, 11 each for men and women. Approximately 40 percent of the student population participates in intercollegiate sports. Historically Aurora has been very successful in men’s baseball and basketball, and women’s softball. Football? Not so much. Five conference championships and one co-championship before this year. Their stadium seats 1,750.
Aurora, the city, has a population of about 200,000 and is located about 40 miles west of Chicago’s Loop. Aurora's historic downtown is located on the Fox River and centered on Stolp Island, where a great deal of renovation has been done. The Aurora area has some significant architecture, including structures by Frank Lloyd Wright, Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, Bruce Goff, and George Grant Elmslie. Aurora is also home to a large collection of Sears Catalog Homes (over 50 homes) and Luston all-steel homes (seven homes).
Part of Aurora, IL's revitalized downtown riverfront on the Fox River.
Like other large Midwestern cities that once relied on manufacturing as an economic basis, Aurora has a large number of abandoned buildings and vacant lots, especially in older sections of the city. Efforts are ongoing to rehabilitate these areas. Environmentally, Aurora has long dealt with pollution of the Fox River. The river was heavily polluted up until the 1970s by factories that had lined the river for over a century. Cleanup efforts have been successful with the help of state grants and volunteer efforts.
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Foreign Languages —
A Swiss man, looking for directions in downtown Aurora, pulls up at a bus stop where two Aurora University students are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Spartans just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No response.
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Aurora student turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?" says the Spartan. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good.
* * * *
Let’s Talk Playoffs —
As the co-champ of our conference with the head-to-head advantage over the hated St. Thomas, No. 8 Saint John’s represents the MIAC in the first round of the NCAA Division III Playoffs, hosting Aurora University of Illinois this Saturday, Nov. 23. Kickoff is scheduled for noon at Clemens Stadium in Collegeville. Note the earlier starting time.
SJU people who follow the D-III Playoff bracket closely really seem to like our position, assuming that we can beat Aurora (shades of Concordia, anyone?). They see a win over Aurora and playing the winner of the Chapman-Linfield game at home after a Linfield win (Even though Chapman is ranked No. 12 and Linfield is No. 20.) Then they see (blindly hope?) #3 Wheaton playing #18 Oshkosh and losing in the second round (improbable but not impossible), meaning Oshkosh would have to play at SJU for the third round. Plausible? Why not. At this point, anything goes…as long as we win. But don’t bet any money on additional home games.
Here is the 2019 NCAA D-III Playoff Bracket:
https://www.d3football.com/playoffs/2019/bracket
Regarding how the playoff committee put together the bracket, this quote was found on the d3football website:
"The Whitewater-Oshkosh result last night definitely created some havoc in our putting together the bracket and the at-large bids," Jim Catanzaro, head football coach at Lake Forest College and chair of the national committee, told D3football.com, "but there were some incredible strength of schedule numbers that were out there, and everybody was pretty comparable in regionally ranked wins. The strength of schedule numbers and evaluation of the results of regionally ranked opponents ... were the two big things that made the decisions."
Happy Johnnies waltz into the playoffs after defeating Rose-Hulman.
By the way, readers will want to know some predictions. The only one you’ll see here is SJU 48-Aurora 22. This is based on the fact that we’re still ranked No. 8 and the Spartans are unranked, but receiving a few votes…and that Gary and the coaches will have kicked enough butt all week that the guys will come flying out of the locker room and onto the field ready for a top effort. Actually, I don’t think much such motivation is necessary for the team to be ready. They’ve been pointing to this moment since last year’s abrupt defeat in Texas.
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Ticket Information —
A ticket must be purchased by each patron to gain admittance to the game. Tickets are $8 for adults and $4 for ages 5-college (w/college ID). SJU season-ticket holders own the rights to the reserved seat/s, but must purchase a ticket to the game. SJU (game/season) or MIAC passes are invalid for NCAA games. Gates open at 10 a.m. Tickets may also be purchased online at www.gojohnnies.com/tickets.
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Tailgate Info —
SJU versus Aurora
Adam Herbst’s Johnnie Tailgating Blog, Saturday, November 23
https://www.sjujohnnietailgatingblog.com
(Of special note: Because of the earlier start, entrance into the lot will begin at 8:30 am, and will be open for vehicle entrance until 11:00 am. Only vehicles with proper tags can enter into the lot from 8:30 am-11:00 am.)
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About The Aurora Game —
Listening To/Watching The Game:
Radio Network:
The Bear 660 AM WBHR
-Sauk Rapids
*Covering central and northern Minnesota
KDIZ-1570 AM
*Covering the Twin Cities and western Wisconsin
1170 AM KOWZ
-Waseca
*Covering southern Minnesota and northern Iowa
Listening via Internet:
https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
(Coverage begins at 10:30 am)
Live Streaming:
https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
(Coverage begins at 12 pm. Audio commentary will not be available for this broadcast.)
* * * *
Battle Between The Sexes,
Carnival Division —
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down.
"Ah ..." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children."
"That's what you think," the man laughed. "I'm the father of THREE children."
The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think!"
* * * *
SJU celebrates Veterans Week in a big way —
The SJU-Rose-Hulman game began in dramatic fashion with a flyover of two huge, throbbing Boeing CH-47 Chinook helicopters as the singing of the National Anthem ended. This was part of St. John's annual Veteran Day salute, which is coordinated each year by John Taylor '58. Piloting the lead helicopter was SJU alumnus Captain Vincent Gonsior '13, the local Chinook unit commander who is a friend of Captain Michael Carr '10, former SJU football and baseball athlete, as well as ROTC graduate. Mike is a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan, and currently serves as the executive officer of the ROTC program at St. John's.
Two U.S.Army Boeing CH-47 Chinook helicopters over the football stadium last Saturday.
Special guests this year were SJU alumnus U.S. Army Colonel Mark Kjorness '90 (pronounced (CHUR-ness) and his wife, US Army Colonel Kristen Baker, a 1990 graduate of West Point. Mark and Kristin have been married for 26 years and have three children.
Mark is currently serving as the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency Deputy Director for Analytic Operations at Springfield, Virginia. During 29 years of U.S. Army service, he has been posted to numerous military intelligence organizations at the tactical and joint levels. He has combat deployments to Iraq for Operation Desert Storm and Operation Iraqi Freedom and Afghanistan for Operation Enduring Freedom.
Kristin is currently the Director of Innovations and Outreach, U.S. Army Talent Management Task Force in the Pentagon, Washington D.C. Previously, she served as Commander European Command Joint Intelligence Operations Center Analytic Center, Molesworth England. She has been deployed in significant assignments to Afghanistan, Bosnia, Saudi Arabia, and Europe.
Together, Colonel Mark Kjorness '90 and Colonel Kristen Baker served as Honorary Captains of last Saturday's Veterans Day Celebration Game. At halftime Captain Mike Carr '10 introduced them to the crowd.
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Fighting Saints Battalion team earns
April trip to West Point —
The Fighting Saints Battalion's nine-person team – including students from CSB, SJU, and St. Cloud State University – won the Third Brigade Ranger Challenge Nov. 1-3 at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, to qualify for the Sandhurst Military Skills Competition at the U.S. Military Academy, West Point, New York come April 17-18, 2020.
Sandhurst is the world’s premier international academy military skills competition that inspires excellence through rigorous physical and mental challenges that reflect the tempo, uncertainty, and tasks of combat operations.
The two-day competition will demonstrate proficiency in four critical military basics: shoot, move, communicate and tactical casualty care. A total of 48 teams will compete, including 16 ROTC teams, 14 international teams and teams from all four U.S. service academies. (Read more here: https://www.csbsju.edu/news/rotc-team-2019 )
The Fighting Saints ROTC Battalion’s Nine-Person Ranger Challenge Team was pictured after winning the Task Force Ranger Challenge in October in Rapid City, South Dakota. Team members were (from left) David Palmquist, Alexander Wiczek, Isaiah Faue, Ethan Erickson, Dean Amundson (behind Erickson), team captain Mark Lorenz, Tucker Rockis, Ryan Pinewski, Maureen Burns and Zachary Oestreich. Burns is a CSB student and Oestreich is a St. Cloud State students; the rest are SJU students.
Hey, Baby...it's cold outside —
Harry Burns '74/'78 and Gaye Dean model their nifty new, battery-powered heated jackets at last week's tailgate. Harry is the one who always says, "There's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing." Obviously, he's practicing what he preaches. However, he and Gaye won't be at the next game since they're flying down to Cabo for Thanksgiving…sans new jackets, we presume.
* * * *
Three Johnnies named to Academic
All-District Team —
The Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference (MIAC) landed 15 players on the 2019 Academic All-District Football Team, selected by the College Sports Information Directors of America (CoSIDA). Among them are three St. John’s football players: Sophomore RB Henry Trost (3.86 GPA), Global Business Leadership; Senior DL Kyle Borgeson (3.41 GPA), Economics; and Senior LB Alex Sais (3.81 GPA), Accounting.
The District 6 team features student-athletes from Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. The Academic All-District Teams recognize the nation's top student-athletes for their combined performances athletically and in the classroom. First-team Academic All-District honorees advance to the CoSIDA Academic All-America ballot, where first- and second-team All-America honorees will be selected in early December.
To be eligible for the Academic All-District and Academic All-America program, a student-athlete must be a varsity starter or key reserve, maintain a cumulative grade-point average of at least 3.30 on a scale of 4.00, have reached sophomore athletic and academic standings at his or her current institution, and be nominated by his or her sports information director.
* * * *
About the Rose-Hulman Game —
SJU ‘Engineers’ 47-14 Win in Regular-Season Finale
No. 8 Saint John’s completed its regular-season schedule with a 47-14 non-conference win over the Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology (Ind.) on Saturday, Nov. 16, in Collegeville.
The Johnnies (9-1, 7-1 MIAC) registered 410 yards of offense, an average of 7.3 yards per play, and forced five turnovers en route to a 47-0 lead.
All seven SJU touchdowns were scored by sophomores. (Read more:)
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Video Highlights:
Rose-Hulman game:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNbrUYLCY-s (3:53 min.)
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2019 SJU Football Schedule
Date Opponent Location
September 7 UW-Stout Menomonie, WI W - 14-7
September 14 Bye —
September 21 Gustavus Collegeville W - 33-21
September 28 Carleton Northfield W - 56-10
October 5 Augsburg Collegeville W - 61-6
October 12 Bethel Collegeville W - 19-0
October 19 St. Thomas St. Paul W - 38-20
October 26 St. Olaf Northfield W - 54-17
November 2 Concordia Collegeville L - 19-18
November 9 Hamline St. Paul W - 70-0
November 16 Rose-Hulman Collegeville W - 47-14
* * * *
MIAC Standings, End of Regular Season —
SCHOOLS MIAC ALL
Saint John’s 7-1 9-1
St. Thomas 7-1 8-2
Bethel 6-2 8-2
Concordia 5-3 5-5
Gustavus 5-3 7-3
St. Olaf 3-5 5-5
Carleton 2-6 4-6
Augsburg 1-7 2-8
Hamline 0-8 1-9
* * * *
Wick’s Picks for Week Ten —
Results From Saturday, November 16
St. Olaf 7 at Gustavus 49 (My pick: Gusties 49-24)
Concordia 54 at Carleton 21 (My pick: Cobbers 54-12)
Augsburg 12 at Hamline 9 (My pick: Auggies 32-26…What! No offense?)
Bethel 7 at St. Thomas 17 (My pick: Bethel 24-17)
RHTI 14 at St. John’s 47 (My pick: Jays 44-14)
Bottom Line: Four out of five…and three of those four were pretty close.)
* * * *
d3Football Top 25 —
https://d3football.prestosports.com/top25/2019/week11
Saint John's University stayed at No. 8 in the final D3football.com poll of the regular season (Nov. 17) and climbed three spots to No. 8 in Monday's American Football Coaches' Association (AFCA) rankings. Of course, the big news and largest move on the d3football poll was UW-Whitewater’s fall from No. 3 to No.7 as a result of their 27-20 loss to, at the time, unranked UW-Oshkosh, now No. 18. UWW fell the same number of spots as did SJU after suffering the loss to unranked Concordia. UST went up three spots after their victory while Bethel dropped a whopping ten spots.
Eleven teams in the West region, including SJU, were ranked in the top 25: UW-Whitewater No. 7; Chapman No. 12; St. Thomas No. 14; Redlands No. 17; UW-Oshkosh No. 18; Bethel No. 19; Linfield No. 20; Wartburg No. 22; Central No. 24; and UW-La Crosse No. 25.
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Mathematics Majors’ Corner,
PhD Division —
A teen-aged girl was walking on the sidewalk. She sees a man lying on the street, needing immediate help. The victim says that he is having a heart attack. The girl asks people around the street for aid. And a man approached.
Girl: “Help, are you a doctor?”
Man: “Yes, I am a doctor. What’s going on?”
Girl: “He's having a heart attack!”
Man: “I am a doctor in Mathematics.”
Girl: “Oh, he is going to die.”
Man: “Prove it!”
* * * *
Eat Your Hearts Out, Bennie Dance Team —
Russian Sobriety Test
https://safeshare.tv/x/LxQvcdsoYs (2:36 min.)
* * * *
The UnCasual Fan —
Review of the 47–14 Win over Rose-Hulman on Saturday, November 16, 2019
Kind of a fun week to be an SJU fan. Without getting ahead of ourselves, last week was a good period to speculate about who we would get to play in the playoffs, how many home games would we have, what happens if UW-Whitewater loses to UW-Oshkosh. The possibilities seemed endless. But they really aren’t.
But what about this game against RHIT that we had to win to get in? It was never really a close contest and we seemed in control from the start. The defense was holding up their end of the deal and the offense came out firing. We scored 47 before they put any points on the board.
Once again, we saw a goofy defense for a little while. They semi-rushed one defensive lineman and dropped ten into coverage. I am sure it looks as weird on film as it does in a live game. Hey, coaches – if you’re reading this, maybe a goofy defense deserves a goofy response. If someone tries it again, have Jackson yell “GO” to the linemen and we run the flying wedge straight down the field led by 1500 lbs. of frustrated blockers just looking for someone to hit. OK – Jackson can slide if someone gets too close.
We did a bunch of things well. The defense was great again. Sophomores scored all seven touchdowns. That’s cool. Our receivers made some great catches. We made five of seven extra points. The two we missed were not the kicker’s fault. We kicked the ball to the goal line on some kickoffs.
There’s one thing I do want to throw out there that I feel strongly about. When you have an identity, it is hard to go against that identity no matter how strong some of your other capabilities/weapons are. Case in point. We have a strong running game and I believe, if we wanted to be, we could be a very good running team and run the ball 30-40+ times a game and do very, very well. Some of us more (ahem) mature football observers would prefer that. But that is not who we are. We are a passing team and a downfield passing team to boot. It is not in our nature to try and take a few yards here and a few yards there. We pressure the other team deep with speed and downfield passes and just the right mix of running to keep them honest. I am not sure we could run it 40 times if we wanted to. It would take a different mentality and personality. Let not try and be something who we are not. Sure, we can run the ball at the end of the game and run some time off the clock but no one in D-III is more exciting than our Johnnies.
It looks like we got a good draw for our part of the bracket. Aurora should test us but not too much. Another good thing about the entire playoff. No one from St. Paul made it in.
Looking forward to more hot brats, spicy chili, and cold beverages at the tailgate next Saturday. Go Johnnies – see you in Collegeville
— The UnCasual Fan
* * * *
A Tommie At Trial —
Recently a St. Paul judge questioned the defendant, a 2015 graduate of the University of St. Thomas. “What are you charged with?” he asked.
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the Tommie
“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened.”
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Johnnie Entrepreneurs: Triink tinkerers think outside of the toolbox —
Two Johnnie entrepreneurs are featured in last Sunday’s St. Paul Pioneer Press about their new multi-use tool company begun while still students as part of SJU’s Entrepreneurship Scholars Program offered by the McNeely Center for Entrepreneurship.
Bardia Bijani Aval, left, and Joe Caughey hold one of their company’s products. Joe is majoring in Global Business Leadership at Saint John’s. Bardia is from Gothenburg, Sweden, and is majoring in Integrative Science and double-minoring in Physics and Mathematics at SJU.
Read an interview with Bardia and Joe here:
https://www.twincities.com/2019/11/17/startup-showcase-triink-tinkerers-think-outside-of-the-toolbox/
Here is their company website: https://www.triinktools.com
https://www.triinktools.com/the-pickaxe/
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Bennies Make Elite Eight —
CSB to take on undefeated Johns Hopkins
in NCAA Quarterfinals
It was announced earlier this week by the NCAA that CSB is the No. 7 seed at 2019 NCAA Division III National Volleyball Championships, and takes on second-seeded Johns Hopkins in the tournament quarterfinals. Saint Benedict and the Blue Jays play at 5:30 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 21, at the U.S. Cellular Center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Watch live if you get this issue in time: https://www.ncaa.com/sports/volleyball-women/d3
(Or here is another link: https://www.ncaa.com/game/3888395 )
In the other half of the bracket, third-seeded Calvin takes on No. 6 Trinity at 8 p.m. Thursday. In the morning games, top-seeded Emory plays Clarkson at 12:30 p.m. and No. 4 Carthage and No. 5 Bowdoin play at 3 p.m. The CSB/Johns Hopkins winner plays the Trinity/Calvin winner at 7:30 p.m. Friday, Nov. 22, and the 2019 NCAA Division III National Championship match is scheduled for 7 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 23.
Saint Benedict advanced to the championship site after three close matches in the region tournament – including a pair of 3-2 wins against Northwestern and UW-Stevens Point. Johns Hopkins, on the other hand, won all three of its region matches 3-0 – and hasn't played a match that went more than the required three sets since Oct. 17 when it beat Stevenson 3-1. The Blue Jays are 32-0 this season and have swept 26 of their opponents.
For the third time in program history, the College of Saint Benedict volleyball team has advanced to the NCAA Division III Elite Eight. It’s the first time CSB has reached the Elite Eight since 2008. The 1990 team reached the national semifinals.
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Hunter Weiss named 2019 NCAA
Elite 90 Award winner —
CSB junior Hunter Weiss is the 2019 NCAA Elite 90 award winner for women's volleyball, it was announced Wednesday night at the NCAA Championship banquet. She is just the second student-athlete from Saint Benedict to win the prestigious award – which was started in 2009-10 – and joins former CSB golfer Kathryn Hauff, who won the award at the 2009-10 women's golf national championships.
The Elite 90 award recognizes the true essence of the student-athlete by honoring an individual who has reached the pinnacle of competition at the national championship level in their sport while also achieving the highest academic standards. The award is given to the student-athlete with the highest cumulative GPA participating at the final site for each of the NCAA's championships.
Hunter – who, along with earning First Team All-American honors is also the 2019 MIAC Player of the Year and the AVCA Central Region Player of the Year – is a biology major with a cumulative 4.0 GPA. She earned CoSIDA Academic All-District honors for the second straight season in 2019, and is in the running for CoSIDA Academic All-American accolades.
* * * *
Little Girl Walking Home From School —
A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said, "If you get in, I'll give you a lollipop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said, "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lollipops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way.
The man said, "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollipops!"
Finally, the girl turned and said, "Look, Daddy, YOU bought the Ford Fiesta, YOU ride in it!!!"
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SJU Basketball —
Alade's Career Night Lifts No. 12 SJU to 86-80 Road Win
https://gojohnnies.com/news/2019/11/13/basketball-alades-career-night-lifts-no-12-sju-to-86-80-road-win.aspx?path=mbball
Senior wing Jubie Alade was named Saint John's University's SCHEELS Athlete of the Week on Monday, Nov. 18. He was named the MIAC Men's Basketball Athlete of the Week, for the first time of his career, earlier in the day.
Jubie made quite the 2019-20 debut for SJU as he led all scorers with a career-high 32 points and added five assists in the Johnnies' 86-80 win Nov. 13 at Minnesota-Morris. He made seven of his eight shot attempts inside the arc and went 18-for-21 from the free-throw line.
Alade missed the Johnnies' first two games (Nov. 8-9) due to injury and is 55 points shy of becoming the 38th Johnnie in school history to reach 1,000 for a career.
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Breaking News: No. 12 SJU Basketball Wins MIAC Opener, 79-60
(Read, view more here:)
https://gojohnnies.com/news/2019/11/20/basketball-no-12-sju-wins-miac-opener-79-60.aspx
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Operator Assistance —
An Aurora coed called an international operator and asked for directory assistance in finding a number in the British Isles.
“How can I help you?” asked the helpful operator.
“Well,” said the lady Spartan, “I’m looking for a knitwear company in Woven.”
The operator replied, “Woven? I don't see the listing. Are you sure?”
“Oh, yes. That's what it says on the label -- ‘Woven in Scotland.’"
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SJU Hockey —
Berglove, Balanced Attack Blanks UW-Stout
Saint John's hockey bounced back with a 5-0 shutout of Wisconsin-Stout on Saturday, Nov. 16, at the Municipal Athletic Complex in St. Cloud.
All five goals were even-strength and 13 different Johnnies recorded a point in the victory. (Read more:) https://gojohnnies.com/news/2019/11/16/hockey-berglove-balanced-attack-blanks-uw-stout.aspx?path=mhockey
The Johnnies return to conference play with a pair of home games against Concordia-Moorhead (1-5, 0-2 MIAC) next weekend (Nov. 23-24) at the Herb Brooks National Hockey Center in St. Cloud. The series opens with a 7 p.m. puck-drop Saturday, followed by a 2 p.m. game Sunday.
Watch live: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
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English Majors' Corner —
Grammar walks into a bar - Part 3
The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
(Compliments of our man in New Yawk City, Terry Kotnour '64)
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More Scenes From Stearns County —
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area between New Munich and Greenwald. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.
Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, pull!” Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought dat he was da only one pullin’, he wouldn’t even try!”
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Wicker's Health Rant —
I've said it often before: "Everything we eat either keeps us well or helps to make us sick." This issue I'm spotlighting a friend and one of my heroes who is doing his part and more to help keep us and our earth well — Meet Carmen Fernholz SJP '61/SJU '65, an organic farmer from Madison, MN and for a couple of decades a leader in demonstrating to regional farmers how to move to organic conversion themselves. In 2005 he received the Midwest Organic and Sustainable Service Farmer of the Year Award and in 2010 an Alumni Achievement Award from his Alma Mater, St. John's University.
Carmen Fernholz, organic farmer and loyal Johnnie.
Carmen works very closely with the University of Minnesota and its Southwest Research and Outreach Center at Lamberton, MN with whom he is cooperating on a research project on organic conversion. He is a guest lecturer at the university’s St. Paul campus several times each year and participates in other events throughout the state.
In addition to helping area farmers with the buying station, Carmen serves as a willing mentor. In the spring, he averages three to four lengthy phone calls with other farmers every week. Over the years, he estimates, he has reached thousands of farmers, many of them at summer field days he has hosted for the last 15 years in conjunction with the university research project.
Carmen is active in his community, too. He serves as chairman of the Sustainable Farming Association of Minnesota, was a charter member of the board of directors for the Minnesota Institute for Sustainable Agriculture and spent one year holding the University of Minnesota School of Agriculture Endowed Chair in Agricultural Systems. Here is a wonderful article on Carmen where he talks about his life in farming and specifically his philosophy about organic farming (hint - he's not in it primarily to make money, but that happens anyway): https://www.sare.org/Learning-Center/Books/The-New-American-Farmer-2nd-Edition/Text-Version/North-Central-Region/Carmen-Fernholz-Madison-MN
Carmen was recently featured in a PBS News Hour Weekend Report entitled, "How a new grain could help combat climate change." This was brought to our attention by our man in New Yawk City, Terry Kotnour '64. It's a very interesting and educational video 9:45 minutes in length: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j12vrJIh0Tk
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Battle Between The Sexes Quickie —
Then there was the guy that wanted to get back together with his ex.
She rejected him because she said, “He only wants to marry me for his money.”
(Compliments of Tommy Cebulla ’58)
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The Last Word —
An Underground Classic —
The Efficiency Experts
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.
When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zipper on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon."
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This got really long, but if you've read this far you've earned less time in Purgatory.
GO JOHNNIES! Spear the Spartans!
(Or something like that.)
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Sincerely yours, we’re still “unofficial” and getting more so every year.
R. L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64
theowick@aol.com ; 651-699-4697
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