SJU UUN: Our Glass Still Seems Only Half Full (UUN #5-19)
Dear Introspective Readers —
St. John’s left the field in Collegeville as victors last Saturday. The score was 33-21 over Gustavus. We remain 2-0 for the year. We’re still ranked #4 nationally. I wasn’t at the game due to a schedule conflict, but many Johnnie fans have said (a) we looked a lot better than we did during our narrow win over UW-Stout two weeks ago; and (b) that Gustavus Adolphus is a very good team and the final score is a fair indicator of the strengths of both squads. Our defense held the Gusties’ running game to a minus 40 yards, and again turned up seven sacks with three big turnovers, while our Offensive line didn’t allow any sacks and, at the end of the game, dominated GAC’s D-line. When we scored, most of the time it was like a blitzkrieg using very little time of possession. To those supporters the 2019 glass is way more than half full.
Johnnies safety John Kohler returns an interception against Gustavus at Clemens Field. (photo by Zach Dwyer, St. Cloud Times)
Then I began to wonder why other SJU fans weren’t entirely pleased with the outcome. One reason might be that, once again, the Johnnies left at least two TDs and a probable third off the scoreboard this week; we passed for lightning strikes but otherwise didn’t control the ground game. Another is the questionable kicking game. An important third is the ease that the Gusties cut through our secondary with their passing game, three times moving down the field with 79, 73 and 75-yard scoring drives. Then there were the hurtful penalties that killed our defensive momentum and kept Gustie drives alive. Our defensive backfield has two more tune-up games in which to tighten things up before facing our toughest games with Bethel and St. Thomas, although they certainly won't face a quarterback the quality of Michael Veldman during the next Carleton and Augsburg games. The doubters say we’re not there yet in several crucial areas, that the glass is only half full and that’s not good enough. To them I’d say, yes, we’re a work in progress but it’s only been two games…we’ve got time to work on weaknesses.
In my absence two frequent UUN contributors — Ron Tomczik ’65 and the Uncasual Fan — stepped up to report to our discerning readers on strengths and weaknesses, pros and cons of the Gustavus game as they saw it. We thank them.
An energetic Johnnies student section tries to distract the Gustavus kicker. (photo by Zach Dwyer, St. Cloud Times)
Speaking of Carleton, as we were two paragraphs and a photo ago, there’s no suspense in the outcome this upcoming Saturday. The Knights are located firmly near the bottom of the MIAC (there’s always Hamline!) and it ticks me off that that’s so. Carleton is a wonderful school academic-wise but they’re really no better than many others, particularly CSB and SJU, in results after graduation. They are already a most heavily-endowed school with a recent family gift of an additional $50 million to be used specifically for scholarship and student aid. (The rich get richer, a la U$T.) They can afford to find, recruit and offer U$T- and GAC-type aid packages to smart kids who also can play football and stop being the doormat of the league. It just takes will and staffing up to meet that goal. However, for some reason the administration and faculty prefer (and the alumni put up with) for some obscure “purity’s sake” to deemphasize the sport. I have nothing but respect for the undermanned and undersized Carleton players that must suit up week after week and get their heads handed to them. And why? Because they love the game and want to play, even knowing that they are overmatched nearly every week. Hooray for them and shame on the administration. I hope Johnnie fans in attendance in Northfield will show appreciation for the Knights’ efforts when something good happens. I also hope that our team tempers demonstrations of exuberance after scoring or sacking…a big win here is like beating up on your little brother and his friends in a sandlot game. It’s expected, so don’t rub it in.
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Carleton Coed Gets A New Pet —
A Carleton sophomore decided she needed a fish as a companion in her dorm room. So she walked over to a Northfield pet store and asked, “Can I buy a goldfish?”
The clerk replied, “Do you want an aquarium?”
The Lady Knight said dismissively, “I don’t care what sign it is.”
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Tailgate Review —
This review is incomplete because some comments didn’t reach me by “press time.” However, the first reports, however brief, were generally positive.
This is the first year that SJU charged for parking spaces in the Athletic Fields Lot, stating that they are to be used by active tailgaters and not for “reserved parking.” The cost didn’t seem to keep anyone away. The school also added more port-a-potties, waste and recycling containers. People not parking in the main lot were encouraged to come to the party after parking elsewhere. Finally, they have plans to set up a student “tailgate” in the Flynntown Lot…no word yet how that will turn out.
One witness said he was pleasantly surprised by how full the lot was on a rainy day when his party arrived around 10 am. “Everyone has a tailgate tent,” he observed about those parking in the lot. He said others he spoke with who had traveled the length of the pregame festivities told him it was packed all the way down past the tennis courts. Another long-time tailgating source said that it “was a very strong crowd for the opener.” He noted the weather changed throughout: sun, rain, humidity, and clouds but everyone stayed and had a good time. He added, “I think with the added organization it makes for a really fun event. No need to rush to grab a spot.”
I also heard from Wayne Hergott ’57 writing about alternative gathering sites for older alumni: “I like your comment that we ‘Old Folk’ will gather at Sexton before games this year. Marge and I have been doing that for years as it's so much simpler than tailgating and we've met with a good group until the last couple of years after some of the group went on to better pastures, e.g. Leroy Lilly. I hope your comment resurrects the spirit that the gathering used to carry.”
Enjoying the season’s first tailgate are, from left: John Bartek '83, in from Detroit; Mike Spanier ’83; Kathy Spanier, Mike’s wife; Michael “Dusty” Wagner ’83; Aimee Wagner - Dusty’s wife; John Gans ‘88, whose son Patrick is on the team; and Nikki Steele ‘95, aka RedHotBennie, Dusty’s sister. (Photo by John Sipe ’61/’65.)
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Battle Between The Sexes —
A woman stops by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocks on the door then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music is playing, candles are lit, and the aroma of perfume fills the room.
“What are you doing?!” she asks.
“I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law explains.
“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaims.
“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law answers.
“Love dress? But you’re naked!”
“Jeff loves me and wants me to wear this dress. It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and can’t get enough of me!”
The mother-in-law leaves, inspired by what she has learned.
When the mother-in-law gets home, she undresses, showers, puts on her best perfume, dims the lights, puts on a romantic CD, and lays on the couch, expectantly awaiting her husband. Finally, her husband comes home. He walks in and sees her lying there provocatively.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“This is my love dress,” she whispers sensually.
“Needs ironing,” he says. “What’s for dinner?
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Carleton Game —
Every other year it’s always fun to travel to Northfield for the Carleton and St. Olaf games. The small historic river town is attractive, friendly and interesting. Carleton also does not charge admission to its stadium, so it’s a fun venue for families wanting to take a bunch of kids to a game less than an hour away from most spots in the Cities.
SJU travels to face Carleton (2-1, 0-1 MIAC) for a 1 p.m. kickoff this Saturday, Sept. 28, at Laird Stadium a few blocks away from downtown Northfield. After a quick look at their record so far this year, they seem like they may have something going with their 41-0 noncom Week 1 romp over Macalester and a healthy 20-10 win over Lawrence in Week 2. But then last week they lost decisively to a middle-of-the-road MIAC arch-rival St. Olaf 36-19 for the Battle of the Goat Trophy.
What should we look for? Well, they fumble a lot; they give up a lot of yardage on the ground; and they’ll try to pass on us after looking at the Gustie-SJU game film, sort of a poor man’s Gustavus. They have a small team in numbers and size, just about 60 on the roster. There are only seven Minnesotans; the rest come from coast to coast, border to border but with several from Wisconsin and California. Compare that with SJU that had 84 freshmen come out for football alone and you start to get an idea of their problem. They may have some talented players but they are not deep and just get worn down. Player to watch: senior wide receiver Mack Journell. If their quarterback is allowed enough time, he’s the guy who will get the ball. Although our defense will aim for a shutout I think there’s enough talent, at least in the early parts of the game when the Knights are fresh, that they could score on us.
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Pre-game in Northfield —
Join us for a football pre-game as the Johnnies play Carleton College. The pre-game gathering is on Saturday, September 28, 2019 beginning at 10:30 a.m. in the upstairs bar/patio/lounge at ReUnion (501 Division Street S., Northfield, Minn.). This event is sponsored by SJU alum Greg Heymans ’84, a partner in the newly renovated ReUnion. Drink specials and menu options will be available.
The football game kicks off at 1 p.m. at Laird Stadium on the Carleton College campus. ReUnion is a half mile from the stadium. If you have any questions please contact Greg Heymans '84
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Miracles in St. Paul —
Three middle-aged MIAC college graduates were visiting together in the corner booth of a peaceful St. Paul neighborhood pub. A St. John’s University alum, a Gustavus Adolphus College grad and a former University of St. Thomas student are having a drink together. They began staring at another man sitting quietly at the bar, wondering who he was.
Suddenly the Johnnie said in recognition, “Hey, it’s Jesus!”
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a glass of Bud Lite. Thrilled to see Him sitting in the same room as them, they all decide to treat Jesus to a local craft beer rather than have Him sip that watered-down national brand. So they each order one of their favorite Twin Cities brews to send over to Him.
The St. John’s man told the waitress to send the gentleman a glass of a Johnnie-owned beer, Fulton’s Lonely Blonde. The Gustie asked her to treat the visitor to a glass of his favorite, Day Tripper IPA from Indeed. And the Tommie asked her to send over his favorite, Summit Brewery’s Great Northern Porter. Jesus accepted the drinks, smiled at the three men and drank the beers slowly, one after another.
When He finished the drinks, Jesus approached the trio. He reached for the hand of the Johnnie and shook it, thanking him for the Lonely Blonde. When he let go, the Johnnie gives a cry of a amazement: “My God! The arthritis I’ve had for 30 years is gone. It’s a miracle!”
Jesus then shook the Gustie’s hand, thanking him for the Day Tripper. As He let go the man’s eyes widened with shock. “Holy Moly! The bad back I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s a miracle!”
Jesus then approached the UST grad who knocked over a chair and a table trying to get away from him.
“What’s wrong, my son?” asked Jesus.
The Tommie shouted, “Don’t touch me, I’m on Workers Compensation!”
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Gustavus Game Report —
https://gojohnnies.com/news/2019/9/21/football-johnnies-top-gustavus-33-21-in-home-opener.aspx
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Gustavus Post-Game Highlights —
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Johnnie Question of the Week (S2, E5) —
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Erdmann, Pietruszewski named MIAC Athletes of the Week —
Senior Jackson Erdmann completed passes to nine different receivers and finished 24-of-35 for 335 yards and four touchdowns in the Johnnies' 33-21 win over Gustavus last Saturday. The 300-yard passing game was the fifth of Erdmann's career. He is now two passing touchdowns away from the school record of 100 held by Alex Kofoed (2004-07).
Danny Pietruszewski collected six tackles, including four solo stops and three tackles for loss, with a sack and a forced fumble against Gustavus last weekend. The junior linebacker came up with a game-changing play midway through the fourth quarter. Following a Johnnie fumble at the Gustavus goal line, the Gusties took over on their own two-yard line. Four plays later, Pietruszewski made a strip-sack to set up an SJU touchdown on the next play from scrimmage.
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
Want A Strong Core? Here Are 4 Exercises That Are Better Than Crunches
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Doggie Intelligence —
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary capability.
"This is a very smart dog," the man commented.
"Not so smart," said one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."
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Still A Work In Progress —
From Ron Tomczik ’65, Medicine Lake, MN —
Bob: I think the words "Work-in-Progress" really describe our football team.
- Our O-Line played much better, didn't allow Jackson Erdmann to get sacked. Jackson is much improved over the first game, with some really crisp passes, faster execution and throwing the ball away when necessary. But he still makes me nervous when he runs. But, as he told me, "I only run when I have an opportunity or it is necessary.”
- Way fewer dropped passes and some outstanding running after catching the ball.
- D Line was outstanding--with seven sacks of their good quarterback, Michael Veldman. With all the lost yardage due to sacks, Gustavus finished with approximately -40 negative rushing yards.
Needs Improvement:
- Our Defensive Secondary. While they had to defend against two or three really good Gustavus receivers, they gave up way too much yardage.
- Could of - Should of scored 19 more points: failed to score when on the 4 yard line and 1st and goal, fumbled into the end zone another time, missed field goal, missed 2 point conversion. Kicking game needs improvement.
- Still too many penalties.
In summary, much improved performance against a team that our players told me was "much better than Stout.” And finally, we started off rather slow last year too. But, in my opinion it was much better starting off this year against good teams than cupcakes.
Trivia: Since I starting attending Johnnie games in 1961, this is first time that lightening interrupted a game. Mr. Sipe and I went over to Brother WIllie’s Pub for an intermission beer; but so did a whole lot of other fans, overwhelming the two poor, unsuspecting student bartenders.
Postscript: In the UST-Hamline game two Tommie running backs each ran for 160 yards on their way to humiliating the Pipers on Hamline’s home field 72-14; in my opinion this is a super example of why so many MIAC presidents wanted UST gone. Some Tommie parents I’ve spoken with have told me they don’t care for the way Caruso handles himself and the team, with their history of poor sportsmanship, running up scores and grandstanding. They also say that they also blame UST President Sullivan and her administration for not reigning him in.
By way of comparison, last Saturday at the end of the game, we had the ball, had been running effectively over a now tired Gustavus defense, and made a first down on the Gusties’ 20 with two minutes to go, had time outs left and looked prepared to go in for a final easy score…but Gary elected to take a knee to run out the clock so as not to humiliate/embarrass Gustavus. Classy — very classy. Given the same opportunity, the usual M.O. for Caruso would be to smash the ball in for a final TD, then go for two points after. — Ron
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From Jim Weiss ’64, , SC —
Well, we won - not sure the nail biting is over but it was a W.
So Stunt Thomas ran up the score on the Pipers…further endearing them to Hamline. One could say they had their 2nd stringers in in the 2nd half - on the other hand, their leading rusher Loeffler scored 2 TDs in the 1st half and 1 in the 2nd half when the score was already 54 - 7. Mr. Caruso must be so proud. — Jim
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Carleton Knight Goes Domestic —
A Carleton senior moved in with his fiancé this September for their last year in school. He was coming from a home where his mother had done everything for him, such as cleaning his room, preparing his meals and even buying his clothes. Aware of this, his fiancé warned him that he would be expected to do his share in operating their household, that she wasn’t going to be like his mother.
Among other things they had a deal where she agreed to do the cooking if he did the grocery shopping and washing the dishes after the meals. He agreed enthusiastically and volunteered then and there to go to the supermarket for them. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
The Carleton lad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. Our Knight had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.
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The Uncasual Fan —
Review of the 33-21 victory over the Gusties on Saturday September 21th, 2019
The report on the SJU Football home page was once again a very good summary about the game. However, some people need a broader perspective than that review provides. This includes several things that need to be addressed if we want to take care of the contenders in our own league before declaring ourselves part of the national playoff picture.
Two weeks ago we stated that the best thing that we could say about the Stout game was:
1. A win is a win is a win
2. Thank you, defense
This week I think it is safe to say
1. We earned a win against a good team and it was a hard-fought battle
2. We looked better on offense than we did two weeks ago against Stout
3. The defense made some key stops and turnovers when we needed them.
4. There are still some areas of concern if we are going to win the MIAC and get a chance for a playoff run
5. One week at a time, one game at a time.
Something to kind of remember
Hey – the fact is we are still ranked #4 in the nation and there is a reason for that. The team is working out some kinks and improved over our last game. Some of us at SJU tend to be the team’s toughest critics and want every game to be a butt kicking. Last year we had some flashes of offensive brilliance for the first few games and our defense kept us in the tough games until our breakout offensive game against the guys from St. Paul. After we figured out we were a passing team things kind of came together and the team and its supporters had a love/love relationship until the final game. There are some new guys in some key positions and it is taking a while to figure it out and, in the mean time, it might not be all “rainbows and unicorns” as my granddaughters like to say. These are still 20-year-old young men who do great things on and off the field, so let’s give them so room and time to figure it out. Hopefully it will not take too much room or too much more time.
What about the pregame festivities?
It was Family Day and, although it was overcast and rainy at times, the tailgate area was a fun place to be and full of red-shirted revelers. The new tailgating setup seemed to work for just about everyone. It looked like the perfect way to spend a Family Day at St. John’s and was not too overcrowded. I am not sure what the student tailgating activities looked like.
The crowd and the weather delay
The SJU side of the stands, including the student section, was packed for the first half and even through some of the rain. I am not sure why the Gustavus crowd never showed up. They have a good team. Towards the end of the 3rd quarter, there was a 45-minute weather delay because of storms and warnings in the St. Cloud area. It was beautiful and sunny at St. John’s during almost all of that time. If you didn’t know better, you would think that is weird. For the Johnnie faithful all we could do was smile because we know better, or at least we like to think we do.
First – a word about Gustavus
The Gusties have a good team (I actually mean offense). They are going to surprise a team or two this year and may come through the MIAC with only two or three losses. Their passing attack is solid; they have a good QB and at least three good receivers; and they spread the ball around. If they take care of the ball a little bit better and their defense steps up their game a bit more, they will beat someone they are not supposed to: e.g., Bethel, Concordia, guys in purple.
The good:
1. We won against a very good team!!!
2. We played much better on offense this week. 400+ yards of offense
3. The defense came up with some big stops and turnovers (again) when we needed them
4. The defense held the Gusties to -40 or so yards of rushing
5. Our passing game seemed to be a little more in-sync this week. We even threw the ball to our receivers on quick slants and to the guys that were open 12 to 15 yards over the middle (I presume watching some game film had something to do with that)
6. Some of our less experienced receivers are gaining some good experience, are playing a little looser, and are not running around like a deer in headlights.
The Bad:
1. 1st and goal from the 4 and a series of awful play calls (a couple of sprint out passes) and no points;
2. And then we line up in the “I” formation and give it to the lead back straight into an 8-man front (WTF?)
3. Two of the three Gustavus scores came when the Johnnie defense was flagged for penalties on 3rd and long and the penalties resulted in first downs. Both, by the way, were questionable officiating calls.
Opportunities and teaching lessons for next week:
1. The kicking game – this was awful at best. I hate to say anything negative about any of our young men, but this needs a lot of work. I am speaking about extra points and field goals.
· A missed short field goal after the first drive. It was shorter than an extra point. It was short, it was left, it was ugly.
· A missed extra point – if it was kicked any lower it would have gone under the defense. To say it was blocked is way too kind
· A extra point knuckle ball that barely made it through
· This needs to be fixed or it will cause us a problem when we need it in a crucial game
· Can we just find someone who can kick a 20-yard extra point and not cause the whole stadium to hold their collective breath?
· On the other hand, the same young gentleman kicks off for us and he has been doing an excellent job here.
2. The punting game – we still do not know what we have here. Only one punt vs the Gusties (that is a good thing). It was a short punt that was caught inside the 10 (that is good also). There probably will not be much punting next week against Carleton so no changes likely to be seen here.
3. Dumb penalties – we took too many against Stout and had a couple of killers against the Gusties. Need to see some improvement here also.
The Running Game
Just my perspective. I am hoping our numbers two and three running backs do not get too discouraged. We seem to be locked in to our big strong 6th year guy (he has truly paid his dues and deserves to play and is a decent runner) but our fast guys are excellent, as well as strong, runners and have the ability to run both inside and outside. They look like they deserve an opportunity for a few more touches.
A final thought
I was talking with a close friend who stated that there is one game every year that has such a big impact from MIAC title perspective as well as National Rankings, etc….maybe we should have a couple of scouts at every one of their games and not just rely on game films and a couple scouted games. There are tons of subtleties that can be observed during a live game that you just do not get from game film. This might provide an edge that pays off in the future. Hopefully when that team leaves the MIAC we will be able to keep them on our schedule from a non-conference rivalry perspective.
Next Week:
The Johnnies travel down to Carleton. Let’s hope no one on either team gets hurt. The 2nd team reserves should hopefully get 1-1/2 quarters of playing time.
Go Johnnies
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Pre-Med Majors’ Corner, Diagnosis and Treatment Division —
A woman went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors but, after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was *pregnant*?"
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't I?”
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The Record, Digitally Speaking —
The Record newspaper comes out every Friday during the school year. You can find it uploaded in digital format at the following link.
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes, Mike Carr and Charlie Carr will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 23rd season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet.
(Note: KDIZ-1570 AM is a new affiliate serving the Twin Cities Metro area this year.)
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Listening via the Internet: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Viewing via live streaming: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/carleton/
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2019 SJU Football Schedule
(All games start at 1 pm, except the St. Thomas game, naturally, which starts at 1:10 pm.)
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Wick’s Picks for Week Three —
For Saturday, September 21
(Winner in bold)
St. Olaf vs Carleton — 36-19 (My pick: Oles 28-10)
Concordia vs Augsburg — 48-0 (My pick: Cobbers 41-12)
St. Thomas vs Hamline — 74-14 (My pick: Tommies 68-0)
St. John’s vs Gustavus — 33-21 (My pick: Johnnies 35-14)
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Around the MIAC —
4th Saturday, September 28
Bethel at Gustavus — How good are the Gusties? Royals 38-24
St. Olaf at Augsburg — The Oles should have no trouble, 42-0
Concordia at Hamline — Oh, dear…another one of these. Cobs 52-17
St. Thomas at UW-Eau Claire — A more challenging game, but Toms 48-15
St. John’s at Carleton — Putting the brakes on, it’s still something like 54-6
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d3Football Top 25 —
After three weeks there isn’t much of a change in the Top 10 from the previous week. Bethel moved up from No. 9 to No. 8, swapping places with Muhlenberg (PA) for some reason. Besides No. 3 UW-Whitewater and No. 16 UW-La Crosse in the Top 25, the WIAC also has three teams receiving votes: UW-Platteville, UW-Stevens Point and UW-Oshkosh.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2019/week3
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Battle Between the Sexes, Newly Married Division —
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease.
When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?" there was a long pause.
Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down yes."
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From Our Readers —
From Dan Murphy ’05, J-Club Board of Directors —
Rob - I worry I might have angered the MailChimp as I didn't receive the UUN before Saturday's GAC game. As a sign of peace I'd like to provide you with some info for this week's newsletter.
I encourage all of your readers and Johnnie faithful to register for the J-Club Hall of Honor induction event the Saturday night of Homecoming, 10/5. Some schools have a hall of fame but our Hall of Honor pays tribute to individuals and teams that honor the Johnnie tradition through outstanding contributions to Saint John’s University and Johnnie Athletics. John Gagliardi and Jim Smith were inducted as Charter Members last year and our inaugural class features 12 individuals and 1 team.
• 1963 Football Team
• Tom Arth ’66 – J-Club Distinguished Service
• John Cragg ’71 – Cross Country & Track and Field
• Blake Elliott ’03 – Football
• Adam Hanna ’07 – Hockey
• Pat Haws ’72 – Coach – Soccer, Swimming and Diving, Golf, Tennis
• John McDowell ’64 – Football
• John “Johnny Blood” McNally ’24 – Football
• Sammy Schmitz ’03 – Golf
• Bill Sexton ’55 – Basketball
• Fr. Wilfred Theisen, OSB ‘52 – J-Club Distinguished Service
• Frank Wachlarowicz ’79 – Basketball
• Matt Zelen ’99 – Swimming and Diving
With over 100 years of athletic tradition the Hall of Honor is our opportunity to tell the history of Johnnie athletics. There is no shortage of deserving membership and we look forward to honoring and telling those stories during our annual induction event each Homecoming.
Tickets are available for the event and early bird pricing of $75 is available through Saturday, 9/28. Your ticket includes dinner, drinks and a program. With over 200 attendees already registered this is sure to be a great event and the start of a wonderful tradition. Guests can view event details and register here: http://www.sjualum.csbsju.edu/2019HallOfHonor Thanks, — Dan
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From Tom Arth ’66, Shakopee, MN —
Bob: As always I am enjoying you weekly news!! I am asking you to ask your readers to pray for me in my fight with spine cancer. I am going through radiation, steroid injections, pills and possible surgery to curtail it and ease the brutal pain. I can no longer make the games in person, but I am there in spirit!! The pain is too bad.
I will make the Hall of Honor dinner on October 5 with the help of my family. I am going to recognize Mike Murphy ‘61 as the person who got me to go to SJU. I hope to see many of you there. Thanks for your support. — Tom
(Editor’s Comment: I join Tom in urging your prayers and nurturing thoughts for this ever-loyal, unselfish, tireless University, Class and J-Club volunteer, and forever Johnnie for the successful treatment of his pain and — God willing — the abatement of his cancer. Here is Tom’s email address for those who’d like to support and/or congratulate him on his upcoming induction into the SJU Hall of Honor: tommyarth@gmail.com)
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From Wayne Hergott ’57, Edina, MN —
I think you are right about Saturday's [Gusties] game. The result depends on whether Gary and his assistants are able to convert the attitude of the team from what it demonstrated at Stout. If they do we'll have a victory but only after a tough game. If he doesn't this game could be the first disappointment of what could become a disappointing season. I'm hoping for and betting on the former. See you Saturday. I just bought a golf umbrella and might need it. — Wayne
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From Clark Stanton, father of John ’10, San Rafael, CA —
Bob, Since it’s Gustavus week, I can’t believe you forgot to include this … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJlLrbUnP6Y Cheers! — Clark
(Editor’s Note: Pretty funny video starring, of course, John Stanton from 2009.)
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From Conrad Macina, East Coast Johnnie fan, Landing, NJ —
Four thoughts:
1. “... I’m an almost incurable homer”?!? Why the heck is “almost” in there? Must be a typo. You meant to write “always”.
2. In honor of yesterday, which was International Talk Like a Pirate Day: A pirate walks into a bar wearing a hat made from a paper towel. The bartender says, “What’s with the funny hat?” The pirate says, “Aaarr! I have a Bounty on me head.”
3. Also in honor of TLAPD: A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out from his fly. The bartender asks, “What’s with the steering wheel?” “Aaarr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
4. No matter which team shows up, the Johnnies are NOT going to lose this week [to Gustavus]. Good luck. — Conrad
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From CJ Ross ’64, San Diego, CA —
Wick — I like your new format — good commentary too. This should be a good year following the games through you and your readers’ eyes. Take care, good buddy. — CJ
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From Henry Gallagher ’61, Washington, DC —
Hi, Bob, Just heard that St. Paulites (is that a word?) Mike Murphy and Tom Joyce are organizing a mini-reunion of us (my Vietnam-born wife had to remind me it’s not “we”) ‘61 SJU grads at the Tommie-Johnnie game on Oct 19. — Hank
(Editor’s Note: Hank is the author of two books available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble: “James Meredith and the Ole Miss Riot, A Soldier’s Story” and the more recent “Stepping Around the Cowcatcher: A Minneapolis Childhood”.)
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From Thom Woodward ’70, Sartell, MN —
A young Marine and Johnnie Gen. Paul Nakasone ’86 are quoted here. Great work, guys!
How The U.S. Hacked ISIS
In 2016, the U.S. launched a classified military cyberattack against ISIS to bring down its media operation. NPR interviewed nearly a dozen people who lived it.
Read in NPR: https://apple.news/AFm2Wj7RETQ2UrmUS8nzevg
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From Terry Kotnour ’64, our man in New Yawk City —
A Johnny and Jesus are playing golf one day. On the long par-5 7th hole, Jesus pulls out his 3 wood. The Johnny tells Jesus that is the wrong club, he should use his Big Bertha driver. Jesus responds that Arnold Palmer would use a 3 wood, and so it's a good choice for him.
On the short par-3 10th hole, Jesus lands in the deep, deep bunker. He pulls out his 9 iron in the hopes of putting it near the cup. The Johnny warns him that a 9 iron won't get him the results he wants and that he should use a sand wedge. Jesus replies that Arnold Palmer used a 9 iron for a similar shot just last week and he holed the shot. Jesus sticks with the 9 iron.
On the par-4 17th hole, Jesus hits his drive straight into the water just off the tee. He takes out his 3 wood, and walks out on the water for his second shot. Someone on the fairway next to them shouts over, “Who does that guy think he is?” The Johnny replied, “He thinks he's Arnold Palmer.”
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Remembering Hilary, Part 3 —
From Don Hall SJP ’55/SJU ’59, Minneapolis, MN —
Wick, ed.: Here’s why I think Hilary [Fr. Hilary Thimmesh, OSB ’50] was an exceptional teacher. I was a junior in Prep School required to take English and the subject was Shakespeare. I groaned. What did I care about Shakespeare? The language is too obtuse.
Hilary was enthused. He would read a sonnet and then map out the meter of sounds, hard and soft. “Listen to the music in those words,” he said. MUSIC! I didn’t know words had music. But soon I was able to hear what Hilary heard, and I began to appreciate Shakespeare. Now I listen to the musical flow of words in all writing and admire some of the great masters, such as Saul Bellow in autobiography, Arthur Schlessinger of history, and Roger Angell about baseball. It is a joy to both learn the material and feel the melody in the delivery, in the sound of the words, in the voice of the writer. It is a joy to know.
A great teacher makes you learn to appreciate something new. Hilary. — Don
(Editor’s Note: Don Hall made word music of his own with his well-received book,“Generation of Wealth: The rise of Control Data and how it inspired an era of innovation and investment in the Upper Midwest”. He also wrote a memoir of growing up in St. Cloud and Stearns County in the 1950s.)
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Sign Up For “The News Memo” — It’s Free! —
Recent St. John’s graduate and current member of this year’s Benedictine Volunteer Corps, David Stokman '19, and his cousin Tommie grad John Stokman, have been sending out a weekly non-partisan, ‘just-the-facts,’ news digest of top national and world news stories. It’s a very quick, interesting read specially formatted for busy people who tune out the national media. Why don’t you sign up for a sample copy for next Friday…you can always unsubscribe but I’m betting you won’t.
https://www.thenewsmemo.com/Subscribe.html?ref_id=598907838491541
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Poly Sci Majors’ Department, Rules of Bureaucracy Division—
1. Preserve thyself.
2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.
3. A penny saved is an oversight.
4. Information deteriorates upward.
5. The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90%.
6. Experience is what you get just after you need it.
7. For any given large, complex, hard-to-understand, expensive problem, there exists at least one short, simple, easy, cheap, wrong answer.
8. Anything that can be changed will be, until time runs out.
9. To err is human; to shrug is civil service.
10. There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.
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Pre-Law Corner, Negotiating A Settlement
Tommie-Style—
Two graduates of the University of St. Thomas Law School were walking along, negotiating a case.
“Look,” said one Tommie grad to the other, “let's be honest with each other.”
“Okay, you first,” replied the other Tom.
That was the end of the discussion.
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The Last Word —
A man and wife were taking a shower when the doorbell rang. The wife says, “I’ll get it,” and wraps a towel around her.
She opens the door and sees that it’s her next door neighbor. The neighbor notices that she’s in her towel and says, “Damn, you’re so fine! I’ll give you $500 right now if you open your towel and let me get a good look at that beautiful body of yours.”
She says, “$500? Right now?”
He says, “Yeah, right now.”
She looks around to make sure the husband is not out of the shower, agrees, opens her towel and lets him get a nice long look.
He gives her a real good ogle, thanks her, and hands her the $500.
She gets back in the shower and her husband asks who was at the door. She says that it was the next door neighbor.
The husband replies, “Cool! Did he give you the $500 he owed me?”
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That’s it for this week…shouldn’t be too tough a challenge on Saturday but it'll never be too easy not to yell earnestly —
GO JOHNNIES!
Checkmate the Knights! (Or something like that.)
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Submitted by your obedient editor:
R. L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64
St. Paul, MN
651-699-4697
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