UN #4-16
Dear Readers —
Most of you already know this. For the rest, let’s kill the suspense and cut to the chase: St. John’s —perhaps to no one’s surprise — dismantled the not-quite-ready-for-MIAC-primetime Saints of the College of St. Scholastica by the score of 49-7 up in Collegeville. That sure doesn’t mean that Kurt Ramler ‘97 has a poor squad though; the Saints are favored to win their 6th straight UMAC title. And they are no doubt more than competitive with the bottom half of the MIAC. Nevertheless, that kind of loss sure has to be demoralizing.
The fact of the matter is — if Gary Fasching ’82 coached like UST’s Glenn Caruso — SJU would have easily scored two or three or more TDs before easing up on the pedal, and the Saints really shouldn’t have scored its fluke TD on us, so dominant was our defense. In fact, the Saints’ running game was held to just 11 yards on 27 attempts and 97 total yards on 60 offensive plays. Junior Leonard Gutierrez, playing for a hurt starter, intercepted three passes in the first half as part of a defensive performance that earned him MIAC Defensive Player of the Week honors. Remember last issue when we read about assistant coach Brandon Novak’s ’00 claim that this year’s defense will rival the historic ’65 National Champion team’s only 27 points allowed. Hmmm? Only 20 points left in the entire season. Offensively, frosh rookie SJU quarterback Jackson Erdmann started his career off with a bang by connecting with senior Evan Clark for three consecutive touchdowns of 13, 22 and 68 yards before they both were shelved for the remainder of the game early in the third quarter. Totally, SJU compiled 597 offensive yards.
Last Saturday in Eau Claire, WI the Tommies beat UW-EC 42-6, a pretty convincing win. The Blugolds are a tougher team than the Saints since the WIAC is one of the better conferences in the country, but they are ranked near the bottom of it. However I’m willing to bet that Mr. Caruso left his first string in a lot longer than Gary to boost the score to stay in the face of the pollsters, so it’s hard to draw too firm a conclusion, other than coaches around the country were impressed enough by our victory that they voted SJU up a notch to 8th in the nation [d3football.com/top25]. [Note: You may enjoy scanning some of the comments after the Top 25 chart.]
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For those interested in some further details of the SJU-Saints contest, go here: http://www.gojohnnies.com/news/2016/9/3/football-sju.aspx?path=football
And here for St. Cloud Times’ Frank Rajkowski’s quick analysis:
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2016 SJU Football Schedule
(All games begin at 1 pm)
Sept. 3 St. Scholastica Collegeville W 49-7
Sept. 10 Buena Vista Univ. Storm Lake, IA
Sept. 17 St. Olaf - Homecoming Collegeville
Sept. 24 St. Thomas Collegeville
Oct. 1 Bethel Arden Hills
Oct. 8 Augsburg Minneapolis
Oct. 15 Carleton - Fam Wknd Collegeville
Oct. 22 Gustavus St. Peter
Oct. 29 Bye Week —
Nov. 5 Hamline Collegeville
Nov. 12 Concordia Moorhead
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Around the MIAC —
As noted earlier, St. Thomas turned in a seemingly easy 42-6 win over at Wisconsin-Eau Claire after a reported slow start. As suspected, mercenary Glenn left his starters in until the 4th quarter. This Saturday the Tommies host UW-Stout; although the Tommies should win, it’ll be a tougher test.
In a surprise to most of us MIAC followers, Concordia lost at Jamestown (ND). The Cobbers usually kill the Jimmies every year so this 14-30 Royals loss really was an upset. And so one of our main competitors has chalked up a big “L” early in the season. What does this mean for their conference chances? We’ll get an idea when they play UW-EC at home this weekend.
Likewise, another surprise was Bethel’s shockingly high-scoring loss to Dubuque 70-53. The two teams combined for a total of 1,468 yards (734 each) — Don’t teams get to play defense in non-conference games too? Many questions remain about both Bethel’s defense and its 2016 prospects.
Gustavus started its season off well with a 35-6 win over Westminster (MO). The Gusties’ new QB, a local kid from Becker, Michael Veldman, was pretty effective; we’ll be watching how they do now that the two teams (Bethel & Concordia) ranked immediately over them both turned in losses.
Hamline's new head coach won his debut game as the Pipers handled Crown College fairly easily, 29-6. As my favorite “have-not” conference team and former neighbor for 37 years I can only hope they are heading in the right direction.
Oh, dear. When Augsburg loses to a team like Northwestern (MN) 14-0, it’s the start of a pretty long year for the once soaring Auggies. On Saturday they play Concordia of Wisconsin, usually a patsy — we’ll see how it goes this year.
St. Olaf did not look at all like the team picked to finish in the MIAC basement with its impressive 69-14 win at Grinnell (IA). And I’d say they are now favored to beat their archival Carleton for the storied Goat Trophy this year…and maybe Augsburg too.
Speaking of Carleton, they lost a close one on the road at Macalester, falling 30-23 and losing this year’s Book of Knowledge Game. Are the Knights that bad or are the Scots that good? If Macalester can beat the lower half of the MIAC regularly maybe their administration will regrow some cojones and come back to our conference.
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Buena Vista Hosts The Johnnies —
In this latest “home-and-home” non-conference series St. John’s will travel to Storm Lake, Iowa for our second game of this season and our second game against Buena Vista University Beavers. Last year the Beavers made the trek up north to Collegeville and were promptly blown away 56-7. Ouch!
It would be nice for the Beavers to think they can exact some measure of revenge for that trouncing, but it won’t happen. These poor guys are like the Carleton of their pretty tough conference, the IIAC. There are nine teams in the IIAC, including such reputable teams such as Dubuque and Wartburg (which are tied for first in their preseason poll and who both received votes in the d3football.com Top 25 poll), Central, and Coe. Then comes Loras, Simpson, Nebraska Wesleyan and Luther with Buena Vista bringing up the rear. (By the way, it was Dubuque that beat Bethel last weekend in an incredible offensive shootout 70-53.)
What to expect this Saturday? Well, the Beavers are already 0-1 having lost their first game to Mayville State (ND) by an entertaining 42-33. I’m pretty sure our game will not show that kind of balance and will be entertaining only to the 500 Johnnie fans/parents who will make the trip.
Speaking of making the trip, the Johnnies are coming down the night before the game, according to coach Gary Fasching, in order to be well-rested; otherwise they’ve have to get up real early about 5 and hit the road about 6:30 am or so for the five-hour + trip from Collegeville. About 80 players will make the trip and all will be seeing action, that’s for sure. Parents for second and third stringers will love it. It’s been a very long time since an SJU team has made an overnight road trip during the regular season — around 1975 when the Johnnies flew out west for a unscheduled fill-in game.
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BVU has 15 locations around the state and boasts a handsome 60-acre main campus in the heart of Storm Lake, right on the lake. Storm Lake is a city of 10,000 as well as a lake so named because a trapper allegedly discovered it during a ferocious storm. Buena Vista was founded by the Presbyterian Church in 1891. Currently it appears that its co-ed enrollment is around 2,000, with another 200+ as grad students; that’s half the size of SJU-CSB. The Buena Vista stadium — Peterson Field — is right on the campus, close to the lake.
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Driving Lessons at BVU —
A freshman at Buena Vista University and a couple other new students decided to take advantage of the college’s driver’s training class for those who hadn’t learned to drive yet. The young man was at the wheel for his first driving lesson.
As he was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, "Turn left here, and don't forget to let the people behind you know what you're doing."
The Beaver turned to the other students sitting in the back seat and announced, "I'm going left."
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Come For The Tailgate, Stay For The Game —
Two proud Storm Lake Johnnies — Steve Peters ’93 and Dave Merten ’92 — have invited about 20 Johnnies and Bennies who live in the general area as well as the rest of us camp followers to a special Iowa tailgate/celebration-in-red before the game. Although BVU is trying to jumpstart a tailgate culture in a parking lot located a few blocks west of the stadium [see BVU’s tailgate policy here: http://bvuathletics.com/fanzone/BVU_Football_Tailgating_policy_updated2016.pdf ], Steve and Dave have selected a much better venue for the relatively small number of us that will show up. They are directing their local alums, SJU team parents and the rest of us Johnnie fans to a small park very close to the stadium and right on the lake. The park some of us will gather at around 9:30 or 10 am (in order to hold the space) is named Circle Park. Others can arrive by the more civilized time of 11-ish. The gamer is at 1 pm.
Steve says there’s not a lot of parking immediately adjacent but to the east a very short distance is another larger lakeside park called Sunset Park that seems to have lots of parking on the road with sidewalks along the lake that lead right to us. If you are coming please study this map to see what we’re talking about.
http://www.bvuathletics.com/information/map
Steve and Dave have contracted with a local fellow renowned for his smoked pork loin to supply us with that delicious Iowa standby as the main eating attraction at the tailgate. Our Storm Lake crew will then provide the buns and condiments, and the rest of us will bring our adult and/or light beverages and anything else appropriate to share at a tailgate (like the fruit and veggies I usually bring, much to the scoffing hilarity of the regulars). As usual the main spread is complementary thanks to our hosts but a free-will offering will be accepted to offset the costs Steve and Dave have incurred in preparing for us. Dress in red, please. The weather is supposed to be rather sublime, at least in the afternoon with mostly sunny skies and temps in the mid-70s; morning might be a bit chillier at first.
Ron Tomczik ’65, John Sipe ’61/’65 and I ’60/’64 are driving down to Ioway Friday afternoon, timing our four-hour trip arrival to coincide with Happy Hour someplace. We are, thanks to a heads-up from Steve, staying at the Lighthouse Inn — http://lighthouseinniowa.net — which I believe is across the street from where the team is lodging for the night. When we called there weren’t too many rooms left for Friday night, but give it a try.
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How To Follow The Johnnies in Iowa —
Live video streaming of game at Buena Vista, no audio with broadcast.
https://portal.stretchinternet.com/bvu/
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Football coverage:
660 AM WBHR “The Bear” - Sauk Rapids
*Covering central and northern Minnesota
740 AM WDGY - Hudson, Wis.
*Covering the Twin Cities and western Wisconsin
1170 AM KOWZ - Waseca
*Covering southern Minnesota and northern Iowa (hope as far as Storm Lake)
Johnnies Magazine and Pregame Show
-With Mark Lewandowski
*Two-hour show before kickoff (11 am for regular season)
Postgame Show
-With Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes ’87, Mike Carr ’77 and Charlie Carr ’03
*One-hour show immediately after each game
Football Weekly
-With Mark Lewandowski
*Broadcast live Wednesdays at 7 p.m. during the season. Available only on The Bear 660 AM.
(Note from last issue with an update by Marie Eli, Institutional Advance Department and mother of senior center Ben Eli:)
Hi Bob, I learned last night that the weekly broadcast has changed to Thursday nights at 7:00. Ben and Carter Hanson will be joining Gary. The link on details is below. Wishing you a great weekend with your family. Marie
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Live Audio Streaming (1 pm Saturday): https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/ (Radio Pregame Show at this website at 11 am)
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Mike Fahey’s Annual Kick-Off (ahem) Poem —
The King of the SJU Tailgate, Judge Michael Fahey ’75, is unable to be with us in Storm Lake this weekend due to an earlier community commitment back home in Carver, MN. Mike jumpstarted our tailgate culture single-handedly over 15 years ago so it’s odd when he’s not there grilling his Stiftungsfest burgers for the crowd. Sometime after the tailgates started he began a tradition of submitting a work of what he calls poetry to encapsulate our football dreams for the year and commemorate people and events he deems important to Johnnie football fans. This latest rendition of his yearly contribution of tortured poesy lies below.
(My apologies to Mike for not including this year’s work in the first issue of the Unofficial Underground News where it more properly belongs. Like today, having just returned Tuesday evening from six days in New York, I was really jammed in trying to get a timely issue out and was unable to pack everything in that should be there. Oh well, maybe next issue I can get to some of that material I said I’d get to this week.)
2016 – 40 YEARS SINCE 1976, 15 SINCE 2001
By Johnnie Red
The 40th anniversary of the Johnnies’ national championship in 1976 this fall,
the connection to the history is coach Jerry Haugen, a player coach who can recall.
Recall his playing days that ended in 1975 for the Johnnies, then coaching football in `76,
Haugen’s 40th anniversary as the head baseball coach will be in 2017, a coach in the mix.
Mixing it up as defensive football coach and head baseball coach, Haugen is a man of history,
joining the longevity of Jim Smith and John Gagliardi at SJU, he will never be a mystery.
Speaking of history, this year is the 155th anniversary of the Stiftungsfest in Norwood Young America,
the oldest celebration in Minnesota, making our state one of the best in America!
Adding to that is the Stiftungsfestivities, the Johnnie tailgate party started in 2001,
moved this year to the Flynntown parking lot and until work by the Science lot is done.
Beginning the season on September 3 when the Johnnies host St. Scholastica and coach Ramler,
then at Buena Vista and on to the MIAC with eight games, hopefully all a slammer.
Another season of making it to the national playoffs and having the most attendance in D3,
the fourth season for head coach Gary Fasching, last season 10-2, this year win all for me,
Me being all the players, coaches, parents and the greatest fans in division three,
a tradition of coach John Gagliardi, fun, music and food, Johnnie football is the dream.
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School of Theology Extra —
Theological Solutions in Storm Lake —
(Submitted by Tommy Cebulla ’58, Andover, MN)
There are four churches and a synagogue in Storm Lake, Iowa: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.
But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the Church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue, but it’s rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel on their property since.
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Introducing the “Amazing Rope Trick” —
From Wally Pattock ’47, St. Cloud, MN
http://www.flixxy.com/magician-mac-kings-amazing-rope-trick.htm?utm_source=nl (2:12 min.)
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From Our Readers —
From Harry Acker, Honorary ’64, Virginia Beach, VA —
HI Rob, Hope all is well with You! All the best to the JOHNNIES for a great Season! — Harry
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From Paul Schrupp ’84, Chanhassen, MN —
As a long time reader I don't know what I would do without your weekly ramblings. And with a daughter who just started as a First year Bennie I need to arm her with the appropriate Tommy jokes (Voldemort U as I have started calling it). Thanks and keep up the good work. — Paul
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From Gary Kordosky ’64, Tucson, AZ —
I have been waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting some more. Finally my thirst has satiated, but only for a short time. The pressure is on for you to produce another UUN in 7 to 9 days. As always, my subscription fee is well spent. Cheers, Gary — Member of the greatest SJU class of all time —1964
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From Steve May, Honorary Johnnie, St. Louis Park, MN —
Bob – Thanks for sharing. I have to say my first question was, “How good is the team going to be this year and where will we be ranked at the end of the year.” Guess you answered some of that later on.
You are probably aware that Dave Wendt ‘63 is now a married man. Father Joe [Gillespie OP ’64] took care of the duties. — Steve
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From Jim Conway ’58/’63, Great Falls, VA —
Can't tell you how much I enjoy receiving the News. Thanks again.
Safe travels to NY, Rob. My daughter Kate leaving a great job in The City in a few weeks, burned out after 11 years. Relocating to Dublin for a year and hoping to calm down. Her employer, WPP, has fueled in her a real distaste for what she sees as the condescending, class-obsessed Brits as managers. Reminds me of my grandfather, born in Connemara, always ranting about the same issues...and "the APA bastards."
I'll send you a report if her mother's health allows me to visit...Regards, Jim
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From Nellie Klein ’60, St. Cloud, MN —
Rob, having read your latest edition of the UUN I am now ready for the Johnnie season! Told you that I didn't really have a feel for the team's readiness but reading your coaches’ evaluations I'm much more confident! So looking forward to the first game this Saturday to give me more of a positive feeling!! Enjoy your trip to the Catskills but I know you'll probably know more about the game by the time it's over than I ! See you next week .......maybe in Storm Lake! — Nell
(Editor’s Elucidation: Actually, Nell, our friend-in-common Jim Conn ’64, texted me updates, allowing me to enjoy my New Yawk respite without the stress of not knowing how we were doing.)
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From Bill Draves ’64, Goodyear, AZ —
Wick, Thank God! I was wondering where you were hiding! — Bill
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From Boz Bostrum ’95, St. Joseph, MN —
Hi Rob, Thanks so much for the kind words – glad you liked it! [“It” is Boz’s new book on John Gagliardi, “A Legacy Unrivaled.”]
I was involved of the recruiting process of Jackson Erdmann. In my opinion, he has the potential to go down as one of the best ever at SJU. Great arm, feet, maturity, etc. I love the way he throws on the run and he is very decisive. A very humble kid as well. So, my guess is that Jackson will throw for 5 TD’s in the first half en route to a 35-0 lead, and we will end up winning 42-7. Nice work as always! — Boz
(Editor’s Comment: Boz and I had almost identical predictions and if our guys hadn’t dropped two sure TDs in the first quarter young Erdmann could have had four or five TDs in the first half.)
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From C.J. Lyngen ’92, Rogers, MN —
Bob, Just locked up another Johnnie Extraordinaire for the UUN: Adam Pribyl 2010 (I don’t want to disrespect any 1910 alumni by referring to 2010-ers as ’10; I believe those boys own the “’10“!) Adam is the current Activities Director and Boys Head Varsity Soccer Coach at DeLaSalle High School in Minneapolis where my daughters Leah (10th grade) and Lucy (9th grade) attend school. My roommate, Trish – CSB ’92 and SOT ’96 teaches there and is the current bus driver for the girls as well. Nice work on the fall kick off – Saturday looks glorious as is always does in Collegeville. — C.J. ’92, Tommy 3 – ’89
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From Dave Roy ’83, Excelsior, MN —
OMG!!!! I've been writhing in pain and torture awaiting this publication! You cannot stop when the season ends. I depend on this for oxygen and LIFE itself! Thank you for your dedication and continued service to the addicted Johnnie tribe. Please don't leave us after we win the national championship this year Regards, Dave
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Golf course once a part of SJU campus —
By John Lieser, St. Cloud Times golf columnist
COLLEGEVILLE — St. John’s University was founded by the Order of St. Benedict in 1857.
Most Central Minnesota residents are aware of the school’s potent football teams. However, many aren’t aware that the university in Collegeville once sported a golf course.
In my favorite bedside golf book titled: “Fore! Gone. Minnesota’s Lost Golf Courses, 1857-1999,” author Joe Bissen devoted Chapter 26 to the rise in 1926 and demise in 1933 of the course with the title: “The Old College Try.”
Earlier this month, I visited campus and was escorted around by Brother Mark Kelly, grounds and maintenance supervisor, the Rev. Wilfred Theisen ‘52, the 87-year old physics professor emeritus, and 1968 St. John's graduate Everett Weber.
Our task was to locate vestiges of the long-gone layout.
(Read more here: http://www.sctimes.com/story/sports/college/2016/09/08/golf-course-once-part-sju-campus/89951824/ )
(Editor’s Note: The attached photo shows, from left, Fr. Wilfred, Br. Mark and Ev Weber.)
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From Anthony “Addy” Bombich ’64, Clinton, MS —
Hi Rob, How is everything? Just to let you know, my son Karl, his long-time girlfriend, and I will be coming up to Collegeville on Nov. 5 to visit and to watch the Hamline game. He has never been to St. John's. We will be driving up from MPLS early that AM. Would like to meet up to say hello, etc. I wanted Karl to see the place that holds a special place to me.
The main purpose for our trip in reality was the Vikings game on Nov. 6 in the new stadium. Karl is a big-time Vikings fan. We are really looking forward to our trip. That's all for now. — Addy
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Postgame Report by Fan Who Chooses Anonymity —
Hi Bob. Hope the New York visit went well. [My note: It did and hope to report on it next issue.] But did miss you on Saturday.
I thought all things considered the tailgate went well. Seemed to be fewer parking spots for us so you need to get there earlier to get a spot. And it’s tighter; we’re closer together. Not sure you will get into that lot much past 10:15 AM. Nice to see Tom and Lisa Sura at tailgate. Sam was studying for the CPA exam.
Hope to see you on the 17th. Won’t make the Iowa game on Saturday. Ben Alvord runs better than Erdmann (who looked quite good, by the way ). Peyton Thiry ejected first half for targeting. Kai Barber, the big running back from Totino Grace, looked good. Seemed quicker than last year. Dusty Krueger did not play due to knee injury that required minor surgery. His dad Duff told me he should be back very soon. DB Leonard Guitterez had three interceptions. Offensive line took some dumb penalties in the first half. Jeremy Piper did not play believe due to injury; no idea how serious. [Ed’s Note: I think I heard it was hernia surgery.] And that small running back Antoine Taylor that last year seemed to take too many stutter-steps east/west instead of hitting the hole quickly and continuing on north/south, seemed to have eliminated that problem and played very well. Take care.
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From Nellie Klein ’60, St. Cloud, MN —
Pretty good one! Johnnie defense looked awesome! Quarterback is very good!! Impressive!! The Tommies "sounded" great [on WCCO] as usual! Austin [Nell’s Bennie granddaughter’s beau at UST] said Caruso is a football Nazi—they practice as a team 5-6 hours a day at times!! But his teammates love it!! They are driven to succeed! Hopefully, my Johnnies feel the same! [Ed’s Note: They do, probably even more so because Gary and the coaches don’t abuse them like Caruso and Company.]
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From Honorary Johnnie Chris Kennedy, Chicago, IL —
You are off to a rousing start! Good lead off on the background of the Underground News!
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From Bernie Weber SJP ’63/SJU ’67, Minnetonka, MN, to Wayne Hergott ’57 and me, your grateful editor —
Dear absentee friends, The crowd was the biggest opening day fan base [8400] I have ever seen. Offensively, we were near perfect all day. The one glaring ugly stat was 100 yards in penalties. Gag would have had a heart attack had he been on the sidelines. Edman started and was terrific. In addition to the stat line two bombs were dropped in the end zone…big arm, very accurate and runs very well. Eleven different players ran the ball. Edmann presents a real sense of calm and leadership. The upfront line looked formidable. Defensively, we are everything we heard about. Twenty-two players are available and we have team speed that I have never seen before. I know who we were playing but I would have to say BE EXCITED on the year. Five hundred yards total offense but those negative 100 yards are going to have to be corrected. I am going next week. I”ll fill you in next Sunday. Happy Labor Day!
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Wayne’s reply:
Thanks, Bernie. I streamed and also listened on the radio to the first half. There was not a delay between the radio and streaming as there was last year. SJU did look good, but they were by far the much better team. Hard to see clearly on streaming but it looked like we should have had 2-3 more completions in the first half but the passes seemed to have been dropped rather than greatly defended.
Why did the Johnnie get ejected just before half-time and who is he? They talked about it on the radio but did not say what the offense was when I was listening. My understanding is that he can start next week but if he was ejected during the second half he would also have to sit out the first half next week.
Hate to miss next week’s game. I just looked at the schedule and may also miss the Augsburg game the first Sat. in October as we'll be moving about then. I understand Jerry Haugen ’76 [Defensive Coordinator] was up in the suite for the first time rather than down on the field. I wonder how that was for him and the team. Keep going and keep us winning. —Wayne
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Political Science 101, Reality Division —
(Suggested by Wally Pattock)
I told my son, “You will marry the girl I choose.”
He said, “No.”
I told him, “She is Bill Gates’ daughter.”
He said, “Yes.”
I called Bill Gates and said, “I was your daughter to marry my son.”
Bill Gates said, “No.”
I told Bill Gates, “My son is the CEO of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates said, “OK.”
I called the president of the World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, “No.”
I told him, “My son is Bill Gates’ son-in-law.”
He said, “OK.”
This is exactly how politics works.
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A Bonus Poly Sci Lesson —
AT THE BAR
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on... It doesn't matter to me. I just love it."
His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you federal or state?"
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From Jim Sexton ’81. Minneapolis, MN —
Hello Rob, my dad [Bill Sexton’55] sent me your Underground Newsletter. Can you add me to your email group? Can you also include my son Will too. Thanks —Jim
(Editor’s Comment: Kudos to Bill and Jim for “sharing/spreading” the Johnnie Love with each other and family.)
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THE FINAL WORD —
The Norwegian Wrestler
A Russian and a Norwegian wrestler, Ole, were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal.
Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach went to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished."
Ole nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, Ole and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Ole and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd, and the coach raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Ole collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match. The crowd went crazy. The coach was astounded.
When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
Ole answered, "Vell, I vas ready to give up ven he got me in dat hold, but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles right in front of my face... I had nuttin' to lose, so wid my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as I could."
So the coach exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"
"Vel not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get ven you bite your own nuts!"
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Holy Smokes! This one is done with not another moment to spare. Let me just take a deep breath and then sincerely say,
G O J O H N N I E S ! ! Skin Those Beavers (or something like that)
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Respectfully submitted,
Rob/Bob Wicker SJP ’60/ SJU ’64, St. Paul. MN
theowick@aol.com; 651-699-4697
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