SJU: Back in the saddle again. UUN #1-24
PLEASE NOTE:
I am exploring another manner of publishing this season, my 26th doing this, simplifying production and mailing. But not to worry; the UUN is always available at https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com/
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Dear Expectant Big Red Fans —
About this time each year people begin asking, “What’s it look like for the Johnnies this year?” And, as we do every year, we turn to the source of that knowledge, head coach Gary Fasching ’81 (pronounced FAH-shing, by the way). (Editor’s Note: A great deal of the information found below came from an article written by Andy Renneke of St. Cloud LIVE who does a fine job covering the Johnnies and Bennies.)
Gary is in his 12th season as head football coach at Saint John's in 2024 and is a six-time (2014, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2021 and 2022) MIAC Coach of the Year. He was inducted into the Minnesota Football Coaches Association (MFCA) Hall of Fame in April 2022 and St. Cloud Cathedral's Athletic Hall of Fame in February 2022, and earned the Minnesota Football Coaches Association (MFCA) Tom Mahoney Man of the Year Award in April 2024. So we think he’s qualified to tell us what’s happening with the team.
As opposed to last year when he, all the coaches and the team were really confident about turning in a splendid season, this year Gary is more introspective about our chances. He says that almost across the board there has been improvement in the MIAC, and that all our closest competitors, except for Bethel, have their experienced quarterbacks returning, plus their top players as well. Speaking of top players, no SJU players were named to the D3 Football Pre-Season All American Teams, yet Bethel has two, Gustavus has two, and Carleton and Concordia each have one. And the teams that were most competitive last year will continue to be that this year: Bethel, Gustavus, Augsburg, Concordia and Carleton. Because of the divisional organization of MIAC Football, Gary says that, after last year’s unsettling experience of not making the play-offs, the only way we can guarantee getting in is to sweep the conference by winning our Northwoods Division, winning the Conference Championship game, and that’s what we are aiming to do.
Gary said that there is a new determination by the players to improve this year; he noted that 40 to 50 players stayed around campus this summer to prepare for this season. There are approximately 190 who reported for the team, more than he’d like because such numbers are difficult logistics-wise, but that’s part of St. John’s tradition. The Johnnies return 17 of the 23 starters from a year ago: seven on offense, eight on defense and both on special teams. Of the nearly 200 team members, probably 3/4 are from Minnesota.
Offensively, the Johnnies have record-setting Aaron Syverson returning for his sixth and final year, having both a medical red-shirt and COVID year. About him Gary said, "Having Aaron back makes a big difference for us. It allows us to work on other things since Aaron knows the playbook so well. If you were training in a new quarterback, things would go a lot slower. And, we can put things in faster than we normally would. He's one of the best quarterbacks in the country."
Although we lost three amazing receivers to graduation, Syverson’s targets this season include wide receivers junior Dylan Wheeler, senior wide receiver Marselio Mendez and junior tight end Joey Gendreau, all with good experience from last year. Although Gary says he wants to bring the running-passing plays closer to 50%-50%, that plan was complicated when lead junior running back Caden Wheeler suffered a foot injury and may be out for six or more weeks. Senior Quinn Christofferson and sophomore transfers Jaxon Sawyer and Will Blakey will all get their chances to show what they can do
The good news for SJU's offense is that it has four of five starters back along the offensive line in senior center Charlie Folkens, senior left guard Nick McKenzie, senior left tackle Tommy Hessburg and senior right tackle Grant Peroutka. Senior backup Tom Soler also returns and can play all three positions. Sophomore tackle Michael Bougie provides a lot of depth up front for the line. Unfortunately, senior guard Joe Vascellaro suffered a serious Achilles injury the first week of practice and, after being operated on is out for the season. Syverson remarked that this is the deepest O-Line he has yet played behind.
The Johnnies' defense will be anchored by four returning linebackers in seniors Cooper Yaggie, Hayden Sanders, Jake Schwinghammer and sophomore Aiden McMahon..
"Knowing we have those guys back definitely raises your expectations for our defense," Gary said. "They're all very close and prepare so well. They're the key to our defense this year."
The biggest question marks are in the secondary and along the defensive line. The Johnnies return sophomore cornerback Peyton Goettlicher and junior safety Noah Arneson. Evan Wahlin has a chance to win one of the starting safety spots and former quarterback Vincent Pyne, who moved to cornerback in the spring, is competing for a starting spot. Senior cornerback Graham Gerlach will also get plenty of playing time.
"A lot of guys will have chances to compete for time in the secondary. There's a good mix, but we're going to play the best two or three guys," Gary said.
Along the defensive line, SJU returns senior ends Joe Akoh and Zach Frank. Both players had 5-1/2 sacks last season to lead the team. Seniors Landon Gallagher, Tommy Gilmore, transfer Charlie King and sophomore Nathan Carroll will all be in the mix for playing time.
Finally, Senior kicker Conor Murphy and senior punter Spencer Ell are both back this season.
"That's a relief to have experienced guys at those spots back," Gary said. "It's nice not having to worry about who the punter and kicker are going to be. They've both been good for us."
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St. John's sixth-year quarterback Aaron Syverson is entering his final season with the team. After debating about whether to return following the 2023 season, the Minnetonka native decided in January 2024 to use his final year of eligibility to make one more run with the Johnnies. Photo by
Andy Rennecke / St. Cloud LIVE
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2024 Football Schedule —
(All games begin at 1 p.m.)
Sep. 7 Carthage (WI) Collegeville
Sep. 14 Wartburg (IA) Collegeville
Sep. 21 Bye —
Sep. 28 Bethel Arden Hills
Oct. 5 Augsburg Collegeville (Homecoming)
Oct. 12 Concordia Moorhead
Oct. 19 Carleton Northfield
Oct. 26 Gustavus Collegeville (Family Weekend)
Nov. 2 St. Scholastica Duluth
Nov. 9 St. Olaf Collegeville
Nov. 16 MIAC Week Collegeville
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MIAC Last Year Revisited —
St. John’s 8-2 (We beat Bethel decisively 27-7 in head-to-head, plus we had D-III’s second strongest strength-of-schedule rating, but didn’t win the Northwoods Division and did not receive an at-large bid to the D-III Playoffs.)
Bethel 8-2 (Won the Skyline Division; the winner of the MIAC Championship game receives an automatic bid to the D-III Playoffs.)
Gustavus 6-4 (The Gusties edged by us 38-35, thus winning the Northwoods Division and played (lost 31-7) Bethel for the MIAC Championship. As shown, they had a poorer record compared to SJU.)
Carleton (7-3) and Augsburg (6-4) were the most improved teams with Concordia (5-5 but easily could have been 7-3) proving to be the hard-luck team.
Funny how things go from week-to-week. Carleton was on a roll, undefeated until they met Bethel and SJU. In Collegeville we handed it to them 63-7, and then during Championship Week the Knights surprised the Aggies (from whom we barely escaped) by a humbling 41-25.
St. Olaf (5-5) and St. Scholastica (2-8) in the Northwoods Division, and Hamline (4-6) and Macalester (3-7) in the Skyline Division were largely non-factors.
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Last Year’s SJU Schedule —
Sep. 2 Trinity (TX) Collegeville W 34-31 O.T.
Sep. 9 UW-Whitewater Whitewater, WI L 56-28
Sep. 16 Bye — —
Sep. 23 Bethel Collegeville W 27-7
Sep. 30 Augsburg Minneapolis W 27-24
Oct. 7 Concordia Collegeville W 42-23
Oct. 14 Carleton Collegeville W 63-7
Oct. 21 Gustavus St. Peter L 38-35
Oct. 28 St. Scholastica Collegeville W 62-7
Nov. 4 St. Olaf Northfield W 49-10
Nov. 11 Concordia Moorhead W 48-21
Comments: The first game against a highly-ranked national foe (#4) was a thriller played in gawd-awful heat and humidity, like the kind found in south Texas where Trinity trains. They were definitely better, at least in the first half, and should have won going away except they ran out of gas (water) with several Trinity players experiencing leg cramps and exhaustion while we Minnesotans played right through the discomfort. We beat Trinity thanks to (1) a terrible “spearing” 15-yard penalty miscall that benched their best defensive player, and (2) a poor (as it turned out) decision to attempt a TD instead of chip shot field goal that would have won the game; their multi-talented QB fumbled close to the goal line, we recovered and kicked our own field goal for an exciting come-back win in overtime.
Relive the nail-biting start to last season against Trinity
Cinematic Recap: #6 Saint John's defeats #4 Trinity (TX) in Overtime
This left us near the top nationally, setting the scene for the next big game in Whitewater, Wisconsin. We were all pumped! Great expectations, great excitement, etc. Actually, the less said about this game the better. We played the Warhawks even in the first half and came out strong to start the second with an impressive march to score and take the lead. Came close to scoring yet again but turned over the ball…and then all hell broke out. And I really don’t know what happened to this day, especially to our Defense. It was an embarrassing and humiliating loss to the WIAC powerhouse and some murmuring started among the hyper-fans.
We had a bye week to regroup and prepare for our top conference rival, the Royals of Bethel. To me, the Bethel game, in Collegeville, was our finest all-around effort for the year, shutting them down 27-7. So, at that juncture, we looked like we had regained our mojo. Then Augsburg happened.
The official explanation is that Augsburg was an improved team and had an effective game plan for us. Maybe, but those of us there also thought we played uninspired ball with a large number of 15-yard penalties that helped their momentum and killed some of our drives. Somehow we pulled out a win, but looked less than a conference leader doing it. More murmuring ensued.
The following two weeks, SJU looked impressive — very impressive — throttling both Concordia and particularly Carleton. But then came the nadir of our season, a confounding loss to Gustavus. The Gusties played well, showed some impressive talent, were spirited, had a couple “miracle” plays, and yet we still could have topped them save for a couple miscues when we failed to score where we probably would have most games. By this time a lot of what can be called “negative” comments about the team and its effort, coaches’ effectiveness, seemingly mindless penalties, game plans, play calling, and the like started bubbling up. In hindsight, much of that grumbling should have remained private murmuring, for it became divisive and hurtful to the team. Those kinds of anonymous observations and criticism will not be happening this year in the UUN. I’d ask that we put our names to comments, be constructive, and not personal, demeaning or sarcastic in comments. However, this e-pub is called the Unofficial Underground News for a reason — we’re independent of SJU and the team — so matter-of-fact commentary respectfully offered is still acceptable and appreciated by most readers.
Back to the season, shocked by the unexpected but ultimately deserved loss to Gustavus and facing a difficult task of proving ourselves worthy of one of the four at-large bids to the NCAA D-III playoffs, the Johnnies put together a worthy string of three impressive wins over St. Scholastica, St. Olaf, and finally Concordia during MIAC Week. We looked good, but to no avail, unfortunately. SJU was not invited to the dance for the first time in many seasons in what even non-partisan observers of D-III say was a craven omission by the selection committee, over-riding their own standards and qualifications to offer a bid to at least one lesser deserving team.
Looking back to what happened to such a promising season at the beginning, one with such really high expectations with 18 senior veterans coming back, I’ll quote what one highly-placed SJU official said unofficially at the end of the season, “We really weren’t that good.” My inexpert take isn’t quite that harsh, but in another way, is concerning: I think the team was pretty darn good, yet over-confident in its abilities and seemingly unable to commit to the self discipline and mental toughness needed for every game; when they met an upcoming team, such as Augsburg and Gustavus, they brought their “B” game rather than their “A” effort thinking that our overall superiority, experience and talent would be enough. The coaches may think I’m full of it, but that’s okay…I’m saying this matter-of-factly, with respect, and it’s only my opinion, as inexpert as it may be. After closely watching SJU teams over the past 30 years, I sort of have an idea of each team’s character and strengths. And weaknesses. As Coach Fasching will be the first to tell you, we’ll need our “A” game every Saturday, because being undefeated in the MIAC is the only way we are guaranteed to move on to the play-offs, at least for this year.
During the final regular season game at St. Olaf, I had the pleasure of sitting behind Lou Gottwalt SJP ’49/SJU ’54 and his son Tom ’82. With Tom were his classmates Mark Dobberstein and Dave Anderson. During a slow-down in the action Tom leaned back and made his own observations about the team and public criticisms from some fans shared in the UUN. His thought was that about 25% of the Johnnie followers were of the rabid nature that lived and breathed SJU football and were overly emotional about the games. Conversely he thought that maybe 75% of the fans were much more mellow, really just enjoying our boys playing a game they love and wanting simply to come out and support them win or lose — because we’re all Johnnies. I’ve had nearly a year to digest Tom’s thoughts and I think he’s no doubt correct. This year I believe his observation is a good place to start, and hopefully continue, through the inevitable ups and downs of the season. GO JOHNNIES!
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New Bennie Waitress —
A guy comes into Kay’s Kitchen in St. Joe and places his order: "I want three flat tires and a pair of headlights.”
The new waitress, a Bennie who just took a part-time job in Kay’s, does not want to appear stupid, so she goes to the kitchen and asks the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires and a pair of headlights. What does he think, this is an auto parts store?!"
"No," the cook says, “He’s a regular and three flat tires means three pancakes and a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up."
"Oh," says the Bennie.
She thinks about this and then quickly spoons up a bowl of beans and gives it to the customer.
The guy asks, "What are the beans for?"
Our Bennie replies, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires and headlights, that you might want to gas up."
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Who the Heck is Carthage College? —
Fortunately, Carthage College of Kenosha, Wisconsin, was looking for a preseason, non-conference game and approached SJU coach Gary Fasching to fill theirs and our need for a full schedule. So we welcome the team and any of their fans to our campus this Saturday.
First, a few words about Kenosha: at nearly 100,000 people, it is the state’s fourth-most populous city. Situated on the southwestern shore of Lake Michigan, Kenosha is located roughly 40 miles south of Milwaukee and 66 miles north of Chicago (just north of the Illinois-Wisconsin border), and has cultural and economic connections to both cities. Formerly an industrial city heavy into car manufacturing earlier in the 20th Century, it lost factories in the 1980s like many Rust Belt cities. However, during the 2010s the city and surrounding county have benefitted from an expanding economy and increased job growth. Besides Carthage, the city boasts three other institutions of higher education. Residents of the city are called Kenoshans; the city was given its name from Indian peoples — the Potawatomi, Menominee, and Ojibwa — who had somewhat similar words describing the area as “place of the pike [trout] that come all at once,” referring to the annual spawning of trout, in which thousands of fish entered the rivers from Lake Michigan, providing food for the coming months.
Carthage College was originally founded by Lutheran pioneers in 1847 in Hillsboro, Illinois and was known as both Lutheran College and locally as Hillsboro College. It then moved to Springfield, Illinois in 1852 where it was renamed Illinois State University. It faded during the Civil War and closed afterwards. In 1870 it was reestablished in Carthage, Illinois where it acquired its current name.
After years of financial challenges, shifts in Lutheran synodical support, and searches for a suitable location, Carthage's board of trustees voted unanimously in 1957 to open a campus in Kenosha. The lakeshore campus was dedicated on October 14, 1962. That year the college launched an era of growth. The next decade brought a period of continuous expansion. Enrollment increased fivefold, endowment tripled, and physical assets increased 600 percent. Since 2001, the college has invested more than $130 million in new construction, major renovations, and technological acquisition. And, believe me, it shows.
Today the private college, affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, enrolls approximately 2,600 students and awards bachelor’s degrees with majors in more than 40 subject areas and master’s degrees in three areas. The student body is 55 percent female and 45 percent male. Carthage College boasts a striking campus located on 2400 feet of shoreline on a low bluff above Lake Michigan
Carthage athletic teams are the Firebirds; they used to be the Redmen, which was changed for obvious reasons. The college is a member of the Division III level of the NCAA, primarily competing in the College Conference of Illinois and Wisconsin (CCIW) since the 1961–62 academic year. It’s a tough conference with powerhouses like North Central, Wheaton, Augustana, and Washington U. making news every year.
Carthage competes in 28 intercollegiate varsity sports: Men's sports include baseball, basketball, cross country, football, golf, lacrosse, soccer, swimming & diving, tennis, track & field, volleyball and wrestling; while Women's sports include basketball, bowling, cross country, golf, lacrosse, soccer, softball, swimming & diving, tennis, track & field, volleyball, water polo and wrestling. Over a third of Carthage students are involved in varsity intercollegiate athletics, and another third participate in the many intramural and club sports offered. Club sports include men's bowling, and co-ed curling and ice hockey.
The Carthage Men’s Baseball and more recently Volleyball teams have had great success not only in the CCIW, but nationally as well. In Football the Firebirds had some success in the early 2000s, finishing ranked 5th in the nation in 2004.
Carthage Football Now —
We mentioned the Firebirds are in a tough football conference…how tough? Last year they were 3-7, 3-6 in the CCIW. In my opinion, they are at about the level of St. Olaf in the MIAC, with three teams a bit below them, again like Hamline, Macalester and St. Scholastica in the MIAC.
However, the pages are turning down there this year. The college hired a new, young, highly regarded, previously successful defensive coordinator named Matt Popino from Endicott College in Massachusetts. In the five years he served on that coaching staff, Endicott secured three straight Commonwealth Coast Conference championships (2021 through 2023) and reached the NCAA tournament each time. Under his stewardship as defensive coordinator for the past three seasons, the Gulls secured impressive national rankings. Endicott gave up the second-fewest points in the country (7.5 per game) in 2022 and the third-fewest (9.7) in 2023. His unit also made the top 10 in total defense, sacks, and turnovers. Popino contributed to an impressive 43-12 overall record (.782) in his time at Endicott, including 27-3 in conference play (.900). The Gulls won the New England Bowl, a regional championship series, in 2019.
As coordinator, "Coach Pop" developed 25 all-conference honorees (including two CCC Defensive Players of the Year), 16 all-region award winners, and two All-Americans. He earned regional and national recognition, most notably as D-III Defensive Coordinator of the Year this past year by Hansen Ratings. Almost immediately upon arriving in Kenosha, Coach Popino replaced nearly all the previous staff with six new hires of his own to begin his new reign. One of these hires is Jeff Duvendeck, with 23 years of experience coaching, recruiting and developing young men at the college level, most recently at the University of St. Thomas where he was Offensive line coach during the 2021 – 2023 seasons and helped them transition from DIII to FCS and win the Pioneer League Championship in 2022. He also was coordinator of the Career Development Program and alumni events coordinator.
So, they’ve got a hot, young, energetic coach with impressive defensive chops and a hand-picked staff…what does that mean for St. John’s this Saturday? Well, given that he’s probably dealing with the main cast of characters on last year’s team, his advances this year will most likely be incremental improvements…perhaps, for SJU, we’ll see a team that is moving up from a St. Olaf to a Carleton or Augsburg, meaning that at least defensively we’ll have a solid game to test our offense. And prepare us for a much tougher program from Wartburg in two weeks.
The Firebirds’ team roster includes 115 kids, mostly from Illinois (53) and Wisconsin (23) with the rest sprinkled from throughout the U.S., including seven from Indiana and six from Florida. They don’t seem to be the biggest team around with an Offensive line averaging 258 pounds with just two 300-pounders; the Defensive line is just averaging three pounds lighter at 255 but it boasts three 300-pounders!
They graduated some fine players last year (as did we), but they have a solid core of weathered rising seniors and juniors on which Popino can build. Offensively we can start with senior quarterback #0 Bryce Lowe pared with junior running back 5’8”, 205 lbs. human bowling ball #25 Bryce Frank, and junior wide receivers #1 Jy’Lique Barnes, #5 Gavin Betts, and #11 Argjent Ismaili. On the Defensive side the Firebirds have experienced defensive linemen senior #9 Cristobal Gutierrez and juniors #98 Jordan Hughes and #99 Michael Sneed. Behind them are senior linebacker #35 Kyle Frymire, and junior d-back #8 Koen Abreau (from Hawaii of all places).
What do I think our chances are? Well, pretty good for a win, but the keys will be how much we can score on a defensive genius’ game plan, and how we look doing it (mistakes, penalties, turnovers…y’know, all the things that drive a coach crazy…see last week’s Minnesota loss to see what mistakes can do to you). If we happen to score somewhat easily — a big if, by the way — Gary may pull out the first string early, which is the most sporting and respectful way to do it, but Carthage’s next game will be against #1-ranked North Central, who beat them unmercifully 70-0 last year (so much about sportsmanship) so you know the D-III people will be watching the comparison of our score and NC’s against a common foe. I hate that but it’s the real world. I wonder if Glenn Caruso and NC coach Brad Spencer are related somehow?
So I’m not hazarding a guess for the score. I just don’t know what we’ve got this year (other than our heralded O-Line, a seasoned QB, and three senior linebackers who want not simply to win, but to “dominate.”) If we just ease by, we won’t be moving up any time soon in the D3 poll and maybe even slip a little. If we get upset, Heaven forbid, please keep all swords away from Gary. (Google Hara-Kiri if that allusion escapes you.)
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The Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota and KDIZ- 1570 AM in the Twin Cities. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes and Mike Carr will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via 660wbhr.com. This is the 27th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet.
Livestream:
Radio: WBHR St. John's Sports
Video: MIAC (11 am, pay for view)
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Watching Carthage Fans —
While googling info on the Firebirds football squad I discovered this tidbit from last season. Keep your eyes open for this cowbell-swinging mama of a Carthage Firebird player:
P.S. - The Rat Pack should probably bring a cowbell, just in case.
(Editor’s Comment: This happened last year...maybe she's learned her lesson to stay away from the Carthage tailgate. Speaking of cowbells, here’s that great SNL classic — More Cowbell — featuring Christopher Walken, one of my acting heroes. More Cowbell - SNL )
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Pre-Law Majors Section, Ethical Practices —
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!"
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court."
Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!"
Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."
"But I did send them,” replied the man.
"What?" shouted the lawyer?
"I sure did, that's how we won the case... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."
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D3 Football Dot Com Top Teams —
A look at the Preseason Top 25
D3football.com Top 25, 2024 preseason
My, my…the first six teams are all the old familiar faces. We face #4 Wartburg in two weeks and that will be a gut check game if ever there was one, for SJU is listed way, way down there at #14. Interestingly, the WIAC has three teams in the Top 25 and two more receiving votes. The MIAC? Well, there’s us and Bethel receiving votes. No respect for the MIAC lately.
The thing is, this is just the preseason guess; we’ll see lots of movement up and down in the next two or three weeks. The MIAC has to do better in its inter-conference play to catch the eye and admiration of the D3 polling committee. Here are some important games this weekend: Augsburg vs. Valley City; Gustavus vs Whitworth; Concordia vs UW-Eau Claire; and SJU vs Carthage.
The following week, 9/14, SJU vs Wartburg; Concordia vs Pacific Lutheran; St. Olaf vs. Luther College; and — are you ready for it? — Bethel vs U. Of Northwestern (MN)…oh, well, it could have been Crown College.
Finally, on 9/21, while SJU has a bye, it’s Bethel vs UW-Eau Claire; Gustavus vs UW-Stevens Point; and Augsburg vs Luther College. We, and the D3 worthies, will soon begin to see if the MIAC is as much a non-factor as how they are treating us.
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‘Eyes on St. Thomas’ Report —
How satisfying to see the smug Toms upset by a nowhere D-II team from South Dakota in their first non-conference home game. And this after three long articles in the local paper telling us how good UST will be this year. Well, Glenn, back to the drawing board.
The University of Sioux Falls (anyone ever heard of them?) came to town and handed the Tommies their lunch in a startling 34-13 upset. Golly…who would have thunk it? USF is a small, Baptist-affiliated school with under 1,500 students. Ouch! Oh, and the home attendance at UST? All of 3,265…yep, life in D-I.
It sure doesn’t get easier for St. Thomas; next up is Northern Iowa, who clobbered them last year 34-13, the same score as USF this year. Wonder if Crown College has room for the Tommies on their schedule next season?
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Jerry Haugen Retires From Football after 48 Seasons —
Jerry Haugen '76 — a longtime fixture at Saint John's University on both the sideline and in the dugout — has announced his retirement after 48 seasons as the Johnnies' defensive coordinator.
During his time as a defensive coach, the Johnnie football program posted a 421-99-5 (.807) overall record and a 319-61-4 (.836) mark in the MIAC. He was named the NCAA Division III Defensive Coordinator of the Year by American Football Monthly when SJU won the last of its four national titles. Haugen, 69, was also part of a Division III national championship during his first season as an assistant in 1976.
In all, he was on the coaching staff for 25 MIAC championships and 29 postseason appearances. The 29 postseason trips consisted of 70 games – a 44-26 record – which accounts for nearly seven additional seasons in playoff contests alone.
Jerry will continue in his role as head coach of the SJU baseball program. Brandon Novak ’01 will assume the role of Defensive Coordinator
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More Scenes from Stearns County —
Quickie Version
A well-to-do fellow from the Twin Cities, exploring rural Stearns County for possible hunting property, went down a promising dirt road. Driving through what he thought was a little mud puddle, he soon was bogged down in a muddy trough. Getting out of his stuck car, he traipsed through the mud to a nearby farm. He told the farmer he'd pay him $50 to pull him out with his tractor.
After he was back on dry ground he said to the farmer, "At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day."
"Can't," replied the farmer. "At night I haul water for da hole."
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Ben Bartch Watch —
(Complements of Pete Hill ’76, Fernandina Beach, FL)
Bartch is back!
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St. John’s Abbey Woodworking —
Life of an SJU Dorm Desk:
Among the millions of students moving into college dormitories this fall, Saint John’s University students can a make claim that few if any other students can. Much of the furniture in their rooms was crafted on campus from trees sustainably harvested from that very same campus. (Read more) The Dorm Life — Saint John's Abbey Woodworking
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English Majors’ Corner, Irish Literacy Department —
An Irishman goes to a building site for his first day of work, and a couple of Englishmen think, "Ah, we'll have some fun with him!"
So they walk up and say, "Hey, Paddy, as you're new here, make sure you know a joist from a girder..."
"Ah, sure, I knows,” says Paddy. "Twas Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust."
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Major New Artwork Added to Jon Hassler Sculpture Garden —
Berg XIX, 2016 Tom Joyce Forged High Carbon Steel, 47” h x 70” w x 49” d, 13,972 lbs. is shown at its new home at St. John’s.
Saint John’s University is proud to announce the gift of a major new artwork being added to the permanent university art collection. Berg XIX, by renowned sculptor Tom Joyce, will become the newest addition to the growing collection of sculptural works being installed in the Jon Hassler Sculpture Garden on the SJU campus.
The space adjacent to Alcuin Library at Saint John’s has slowly evolved into a sculpture garden, made possible by alumnus John ’63 and Lois Rogers. On August 21 onlookers witnessed the installation of the newest piece of sculpture — a 1,700-pound piece of COR-TEN weathering steel shaped by Mr. Joyce of Santa Fe — as a crane slowly lowered it into place.
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College Sports Quiz —
A Johnnie walks into a restaurant in downtown Kenosha, orders a drink, and asks the waiter if he'd like to hear a good Firebird joke.
"Listen buddy," the waiter growled. "See those two big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Carthage football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a champion wrestler at Carthage. That guy in the corner was the Firebird's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in three sports at Carthage College. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"
"Nah, guess not," the Johnnie replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
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Wicker’s Health Rant —
When asked what older men and women should do to avoid the ravages of old age, Justin Rost, Head Strength and Conditioning Coach/Assistant Athletic Trainer for CSB-SJU for over a decade, told this group of “senior” SJU alums: “Two words — Lift Weights.”
He went on to say that seniors’ (actually before, starting in middle age) muscle mass and overall strength diminish rapidly, particularly if these folks are sedentary. This leads to a condition called sarcopenia. Learn more here: Sarcopenia: its definition, and what to do about it, in just three minutes. Sarcopenia, what is it, what is the cause and what can you do about it? (3:24 minutes)
In the video the announcer speaks of the need for protein for all older people, but especially for those trying to halt muscle loss and/or while rebuilding muscle and strength. Honorary Johnnie Class of ’65, Dave Swanson, sent the following instructive video that answers the question: How Much Protein You REALLY Need for Muscle Growth https://youtu.be/xLDpGNc7pqk?si=6UbfA6sPSiVGUGSq (7:36 minutes…and well worth it)
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Support the J-Club Through the GO JOHNNIES CHALLENGE —
A note from Bob Alpers ’82, Athletic Director: Time is running out to support all Johnnie athletics now through September 12 in this annual concentrated sports fundraising opportunity — a 24-hour, online giving campaign. This effort is to assist the varsity and club sports of YOUR choice. Every gift, every size makes a difference; it will enhance our SJU student-athlete experience.The goal of the Go Johnnies Challenge is once again 650 donors for the university's 650-plus varsity and club student-athletes. Monetary gifts can be designated toward specific sport programs and the general athletic department, as well as ROTC, sports medicine, strength and conditioning and the J-Club.
"Our coaches and students are grateful for your support of the J-Club, which in turn supports ALL our varsity, club and intramural student-athletes. The GO JOHNNIES CHALLENGE is tax-deductible and open through September 12 by going now until then at
https://www.givecampus.com/schools/SaintJohnsUniversity/2024-go-johnnies-challenge
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(Courtesy of Thom Woodward ’70)
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From Our Readers —
From Mike (Mac) McIntyre ’76, Chicago, IL —
Hi Rob, I hope all is well with you! Looking forward to the new season. Please make sure I am on your distribution list for this season! And if possible add my friend Mark McCollum. I was out visiting him in Oregon a few weeks ago. He is battling cancer. He is in a tough fight. A Linfield alum who I met when Mary and I were living in Portland back in the early 80’s. Our mutual love of our respective alma maters, D-III football ,and the potential of a post-season SJU v. Lindfield game has allowed us to stay in touch all these years. I gave him a “Rat Cap” as a little gift when I visited. He has respectfully placed it among his garage Linfield Caps Hall of Fame!
Thought you would enjoy the pic below: Check out the 2nd from right! Thanks Rob, looking forward to an early successful run this year! —Mac
Mark writes:
“ Only one non-Linfield logo allowed in garage Hall of Fame. I’m happy and proud that the committee made that important decision. ~ Thank you for the Johnny cap you brought for me. Sure was good seeing Mary and you out here.” ~ Peace
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From Colleen Lilly ’81, Edina, MN, a timely reminder —
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCMENT
The Johnnie Football Season begins this weekend. Please be respectful to others and check all game dates and times BEFORE scheduling any weddings, birthday parties (and births, for that matter), soccer games, recitals, fundraisers, and other activities. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
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From Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ —
Football season is less than a week away! And where there’s football season can the UUN be far behind?
Here’s one for your inaugural 2024 issue:
A Tommie walks into a diner where they’re having a raffle: with every meal you get a scratch-off card and can win a prize. The Tommie orders, scratches his card, and starts jumping up and down yelling, “I’m getting a motorhome! I’m getting a motorhome!!”
The owner goes over to him and says, “That can’t be right – there aren’t any motorhome prizes. Let me see that card.” The Tommie hands over the card and the owner reads it. It says, “Win a bagel.”
Go Johnnies!!
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From Rob Culligan '82, SJU Institutional Advancement —
Here’s a classic! Two 90+-year-olds coming out for the first day of football practice. Fathers Alberic Culhane and Wilfred Theisen are ready for the season.
Father Alberic (left) and Father Wilfred (right). Wonder if they ever race each other in those carts?
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From Tommy Cebulla ’58, Andover, MN —
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
"He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that
she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now —
in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”
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Last Word —
The Blackmailer
While playing in the street, little Johnny's 9-year-old friend shows him his new bike. "Whoa, where did you get that from" Johnny asks.
"Well", his friend tells him: 'I bought it for a 100 bucks that I made yesterday.'
Johnny, 9 years old and getting one dollar per week of pocket money, asks him 'How did you make that amount of money in one day?'
'Well easy', the kid says, 'All you need to know is that most adults are hiding something, and you can easily blackmail them by saying "I know it, everything, the whole truth"
Little Johnny, really puzzled how that could ever work, decides to try it out at home. So he walks up to his dad, and he tells him, "I know it, everything, the whole truth."
Without skipping a beat and in one fluent movement his father, red-faced like a sunburned tomato, draws his wallet and gives Johnny a twenty, adding, "don't tell your mother anything about it.
Surprised by the easy money he made, he decides to go for the kicker, and runs up to his mother, telling her "Mom, I know it, everything, the whole truth.”
His mother, going paler as a ghost passing through a heap of snow, in just a split second, grabs her purse, pulls out a $50 and says, "Please, but please, don't tell your father."
Completely flabbergasted by making over one year of pocket money in less than 10 minutes, Johnny runs out and rings his neighbors' doorbell. As his neighbor opens the door, the boy greets him by whispering, "I know it, everything, the whole truth."
To his disappointment, his neighbor does not draw his wallet, but instead breaks down in tears, drops to his knees, spreads his arms, and mutters through his tears, "Finally, now come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
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And just like that, this issue is history. Please do our team the honor of coming out for our first game this Saturday. But, remember, we need to hear you loudly cheering. . .
Extinguish the Firebirds!
(Or something like that.)
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Ahh, sweet adieu
Submitted by R.L. Wicker ’60/’64
2035 Eleanor Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116
theowick@aol.com; home: 651-699-4697
Website: Unofficial Underground News
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