Looking Real Good, Kind of... (UUN #3-22)
Dear Relieved-in-Red Fans —
I found a call on my voice mail a couple days ago from a friend, a former player on one of our national championship teams, who left this terse message: “The Johnnies are overrated.” I didn’t bother to return the call since I knew what he was thinking — and he’s not necessarily alone in his disappointment of the Jays giving up two TDs in the closing minutes last Saturday.
After a too-close 37-34 win over a relentless and explosive UW-River Falls team, ranked at the time #19 in the Top 25, many felt that the #4 Johnnies, however proud we are of them, didn’t deserve to jump up to #2 in the nation after our narrow victory.
Well, it’s complicated. Right off the bat, I’d say that UWRF might be underrated; we’ll see how they perform against WIAC competition, which, in my opinion, is the conference to watch this season. But they are big, tough, fast, well-coached and have a great quarterback in Kaleb Blaha.
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2022 Preseason WIAC Predictions –
(With last season’s records)
1. UW-Whitewater (13-1, 7-0 WIAC)
2. UW-La Crosse (9-3-1, 6-1 WIAC)
3. UW-River Falls (9-2, 5-2 WIAC)
4. UW-Oshkosh (6-3, 4-3 WIAC)
5. UW-Platteville (4-6, 3-4 WIAC)
6. UW-Stout (5-5, 2-5 WIAC)
7. UW-Eau Claire (3-7, 1-6 WIAC)
8. UW-Stevens Point (2-8, 0-7 WIAC)
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However, until that unfortunate last 50-yard touchdown pass/run in the final 20 seconds in our game, SJU had the Falcons pretty much under control. Perhaps those who rank the teams saw that and considered the final two UWRF TDs in the final four minutes an anomaly in a game that the Johnnies controlled completely in the 3rd quarter and for all but four minutes in the 4th quarter.
But no doubt the deciding factor in SJU’s rise to #2 from their earlier rank in the poll was UW-Whitewater’s utterly shocking 28-24 victory over University of Mary Hardin-Baylor, just about everyone’s favorite to decisively win the Stagg Bowl again this year. And who beat UWW convincingly the week before? Our Johnnies.
So I guess we can be pleased with the national recognition of the Johnnies’ program and performance so far and know we have a lot of room for improvement. Said head coach Gary Fasching ’81 in a post-game interview, "We still have a lot of work to do, even after two wins against really quality opponents. I gave ourselves probably a B against Whitewater. I didn’t think we could beat them playing a B game, but we did. I think we made a lot of mistakes here [against UWRF] today. I don’t know that we were at our very best. Luckily we did just enough to win the football game. We’re 2-0 and we have to be happy about that.”
Could we beat UWW again, or could UWW beat UMHB again, or can UWRF beat UWW later this fall? That all remains to be seen, but for now the Johnnies are near the top of the Top 25 and should remain there until someone better pushes them out. Still, isn’t it lovely to be ranked over #3 Mount Union and #6 UWW for a change?
SJU-CSB students lined up along the sidelines fence are completely into the game, shown celebrating a Johnnie score.
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About the game itself, the UUN Game Balls go to defensive lineman Metoriah Faoliu (#8 helmet & #93 jersey…that’s a story in itself), and wide receiver Jimmy Buck. And the Player of the Game must be River Falls quarterback Kaleb Blaha, whose team without him would be just an average WIAC team.
Senior Metoriah Faoliu totaled 11 tackles, including eight unassisted and three and a half tackles for loss, to go along with one and a half sacks and a quarterback hurry in the Johnnies' 37-34 win over nationally-ranked UW-River Falls. This performance was good enough for him to be named to the D3football.com Defensive Team of the Week.
Two other standouts were Junior quarterback Aaron Syverson who recorded his first 300-yard passing game – 329 yards, and junior running back Troy Feddema who, coming in for an injured Henry Trost, scored two TDs, the first and second of his collegiate career. In the meantime, Kaleb Blaha threw for 283 yards and three touchdowns and rushed for 122 yards in Wisconsin-River Falls' effective hurry-up offensive scheme. This compares to SJU’s anemic total 50 yards rushing. We have a problem with our running game that I trust will be fixed by the Bethel game; until he got hurt we kept running Henry Trost right up the middle for two yards at best time after time, this game and last. I hearken back to the Uncasual Fan’s comment of last issue: “…some part of our run game needs to incorporate avoiding tackles and run to daylight vs trying to just overpower every situation.” Amen, UF.
Junior wide receiver #11 Jimmy Buck recorded career highs in receptions (9) and receiving yards (149) in the victory. Pictured above is Jimmy celebrating #8 Alex Larson’s TD reception before 9,100 sun-drenched fans.
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For more game info about the Johnnies’ win, the Whitewater versus Mary Hardin-Baylor upset, and Bethel’s loss, go to these links:
https://uwwsports.com/news/2022/9/10/football-warhawks-take-down-no-1-umhb.aspx
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#9 Troy Feddema, coming in for an injured Henry Trost at running back, rushed for two second-half touchdowns on runs for three and five yards.
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Falcon Math —
One UWRF player was heard discussing his class schedule on the bus up to St. John’s with a teammate.
“I’m not sure if I need to take math this semester after all…it’s five of one, half dozen of the other.”
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Fr. Wilfred on the Links —
Father Wilfred Theisen, OSB was playing golf with a former student and long-time friend shortly before COVID shut everything down. On the first hole at the Albany Country Club, Wilfred sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath.
On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.
On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Fr. Wilfred's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!"
He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. "HOOVER!"
By this time, his companion couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer, and asked why the priest said. “Hoover."
"It's the biggest dam I know." Wilfred replied.
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SJU 2022 Football Schedule
(All games are played on Saturdays, beginning at 1 pm)
Date Opponent Location
Sep. 3 UW-Whitewater Collegeville W—24-10
Sep. 10 UW-River Falls Collegeville W—37-34
Sep. 17 Bye —
Sep. 24 Bethel Arden Hills, MN
Oct. 1 Concordia (HC) Collegeville
Oct. 8 Augsburg Minneapolis
Oct. 15 St. Olaf * Northfield, MN
Oct. 23 Gustavus * (FW) Collegeville
Oct. 29 St. Scholastica * Duluth, MN
Nov. 5 Carleton * Collegeville
Nov. 12 MIAC Champ. Wk. Collegeville
HC = Homecoming
FW = Family Weekend
* = Northwoods Division
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A View from the Field —
(By Ron Tomczik ’65, Medicine Lake, MN)
Saturday AM Johnnie Tailgating, as usual, was very pleasant! One highlight was speaking with many of our D Linemen starting with Metoriah Faoliu. Shaking his hand, I immediately felt immense strength. And then, moving up to his biceps, they are like huge wood fenceposts! I questioned how/why he got to SJU from his native California. Bottom line—he wanted to play out of state and Damien Dumonceaux, amongst one of his recruiting efforts, flew out to California to meet him—and then invited him to SJU for a visit. Which brings me to the point that many people do not know, just what a super job Damien does in football recruiting. Over the years, many, many players have told me that Damien was a key factor in their decision to come to SJU. In speaking with Damien, it is amazing how he determines which high school/transfer players to go after—and which to not waste time/efforts on.
Back to the tailgating with Metoriah and the other Linemen, it was immediately evident how much our players were enjoying their conversations with fans, their friends—and of course Bennies, in this very fun social setting. It was just a win/win occasion. And as I usually do, I asked what his nearly 4-year experience at SJU was like. Great!, per Metoriah. For D3 Football, our tailgating setup and large turnout/attendance must be one of the best.
After the game, I spoke with backup running back Troy Feddema about his fumble, at a crucial time, late in the 4th quarter. As you may recall, after our defense held River Falls to no score, the first play after we got the ball back was to give the ball to Troy F. and he made a great run. Troy F. told me it was a very important time for him to receive the opportunity to immediately redeem himself and restore his confidence. Later, I asked Coach Fasching if he intentionally wanted to give the ball on the first snap to Feddema to restore his confidence—and Gary said yes, he called the play. I told Gary that was a class act.
Explanation. On the long UWRF pass completion/TD in the final minutes, our outside linebacker thought he could intercept the ball, cut in front of the RF receiver and fell down—but the ball was perfectly thrown, caught by the RF receiver who ran in, almost untouched, for the TD. It was a mistake because all our guy had to do was tackle the receiver and time would mostly have run out as RF had no timeouts left. Later, Coach F., while discussing the game, said “we have many things we need to clean up”.
Finally, players that I spoke with unanimously thought that when comparing Whitewater and RF; Whitewater was the better Team.
Go Johnnies — Ron
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The “I’m Glad I’m Not Like Her” Department —
One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?"
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The Uncasual Fan —
Hard to Figure out this one.
The game is over. The weather and temperature were a 10 again. The stands were packed and full of red once more. Attendance was a little over 9,000 vs 12,000+ for the home opener last week. The students were in mid-season form (they left at half-time). The Johnnies beat UWRF 37-34 for our 2nd win over a ranked team. I am not sure if very many people would have had us at 2-0 at this point in the season.
The good news is that as I write this, we are ranked #2 in the nation. We deserve it as much as anyone given who we have beat and what else has happened to the other top teams. The bad news is we are ranked #2 in the nation.
You really need to sit back and try and put this game into perspective. We outscored a very potent offense and our defense kept them in check until about 6 minutes to go in the game. This UWRF team is going to score a lot of points and win a lot of games. It is hard to stop a team like that. They were running a play every 8-12 seconds and throwing it all over the place. Their QB also was an excellent runner. You basically hope to try and slow down the pace and the scoring or that they shoot themselves in the foot enough times to do some damage. Our defense played good enough and UWRF’s helped us out with some untimely drive killing or drive extending penalties that helped us a great deal
Game Summary:
1. Our defense held them in check for the first 3 ½ quarters
2. UWRF repeatedly shot themselves in the foot (like UWW the week before) except that UWRF was hurt by holding penalties, roughing the passer, hitting the QB while he was sliding etc.…Their penalties stopped their drives and allowed us to keep some of our drives going.
3. UWRF was running a play every 8-12 seconds. They were also efficient and moved the ball around a lot and their QB was an excellent runner. This made them tough to defend. UWRF gives you no time to think, adjust or rest. Just line up as fast as you can and keep everything in front of you as best as possible. You can not simulate this in practice. If you could you would probably do this in a game.
4. The Johnnie D tackled very well and that helped a lot. Not a lot of missed or slipped tackles.
5. The UWRF defense was super aggressive and blitzed a lot. Kudos to the SJU QB/offense for finding the receivers on quick slants when the blitzes and stunts were coming on a regular basis.
6. Running game was a little better. Troy Feddema showed some good footwork as well as power and caught the ball coming out of the backfield
Top players this week:
1. Metoriah Faoliu – 11 tackles, 3 ½ for loss, 1/12 sacks and a QB hurry or 2.
2. Conner Murphy – 4 for 4 XP’s, and a 39 yd field goal that was the difference in the game. Also had a few touchbacks on kickoffs
3. Kickoff Team – stopped UWRF inside the 20 four times. Why UWRF did not fair catch a few of those amazes me (This was an area of concern last week so the SJU coaches coached them up a little and it paid dividends
4. Aaron Syverson – 22 of 40 for 329 yards and 2 TD’s. He was under pressure and duress for most of the game and managed to have another really good performance. He also ran for a couple of key first downs
5. Jimmy Buck – 9 catches for 149 yards. He was a great target over the middle against the aggressive blitz package of UWRF
6. Troy Feddema – 2 rushing TD’s. 16 carries for 38 yards and 3 catches for 25 yards
Last Week's concerns were:
· Eliminate / reduce dropped catches, especially on short routes. These hurt us early in the first half. Maybe it was first game jitters. (We did much better here but we did drop a pass on the first drive that most likely would have given us a first down)
· Kickoff coverage – we need to tighten that up a bit . (SJU was awesome is this area. One of the keys to the game)
· What to do when you field a short kick off? Maybe catch it and go as straight up the field as soon as possible. No dancing and weaving required. (No opportunities for improvement against UWRF)
Biggest concerns:
Still feels like the running game is not firing on all cylinders yet but we have played against two real good defenses. Blocking for the pass vs blocking for the run are two drastically different skill sets and pass blocking is stronger at the moment. We will probably not see defenses this good until the playoffs, but you never know about Bethel.
I am also a little concerned about the punt game. The first week there were nine punts and all pretty decent but this week we had three punts for 113 yards or a 37-yard average but a deeper look shows one punt for 58 yards and that means that the other two averaged about 27 yards per punt. Also, the 58-yard punt had about 25 yards of roll. We need consistency here and it gets tougher as the weather gets colder. Just something to watch.
Half Full or Half Empty:
Right now my cup is more than half full, but we need to pass the next test
My Final Rant:
What is it with the refereeing so far this year? I do not expect it to be perfect, but I am confused sometimes about what gets called. The latest was a defensive chop block. What was that?
See you in two weeks at Bethel. Go Johnnies! — The Uncasual Fan
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AROUND THE MIAC —
Last Week’s Results —
2nd Week, Saturday, September 10
Bethel at UW-Platteville — Bethel creams ‘em, even without injured QB Roste, 40-20. Actually, I’m shocked at how badly I picked this one…but happy at the same time with the outcome, which was UW-P 10, Royals 7.
Crown College at Carleton —A win for Carleton, maybe as high as 45-17. Actually, the Knights must have forgotten how it feels to be mashed into the turf by crushing poor Crown 84-20. (And Carleton’s one of the schools that threatened to leave the MIAC if U$T stayed, in part for running up their scores.)
UM-Morris at Hamline — The Pipers make it two wins in a row, 35-28. Actually I was pretty close here, with Hamline prevailing 39-21.
Luther College at St. Olaf — A good rivalry and a close game: Luther 24-19. Actually I’m wrong again…and in a big way, as the Oles ran away with a significant win 55-27.
Martin Luther College at Macalester — Mac should win 38-24. Actually, Mac indeed won, but by 43-7.
Concordia at Presentation College — The Cobbers better win to stay relevant: 32-9. Actually the Cobbers did even a little better winning 42-13.
UW-River Falls at St. John’s — Facing an explosive Falcons offensive, the Johnnies will ultimately prevail: 36-21. Actually that’s about what it should have been before the Johnnies gave up two end-of-the-game TDs. But we won 37-34 and a win’s a win.
Other Games of Interest:
St. Thomas (0-1) hosts Michigan Tech (1-0) this Saturday. The Huskies beat UW-Platteville 23-13 last week, and I predict the Tommies to win by a similar score: 21-14. Actually U$T really took it to Michigan Tech 32-6, meaning the Toms might have something this year. They only have two tough games this year — against Davidson and San Diego — and they’re home for both contests.
UW-Whitewater hosts Mary Hardin-Baylor and if the Warhawks thought they faced a challenge last week, they’re really in for it this week: Crusaders wallop UWW 48-14. Actually I’m surprised yet pleased at the same time with what I’d call an upset by UWW 28-24. Who’d thunk it?
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Games This Week—
3rd Week, Saturday, September 17
St. Scholastica at Crown College — If the Saints don’t prevail by something like 28-22 perhaps they should rethink fielding a football team in the MIAC.
UW-Stout at Gustavus — This is the biggest game Saturday in the MIAC and I suspect the Gusties will live up to their new reputation by handing Stout a stout loss 34-12.
Augsburg at Martin Luther College — The Auggies will make mincemeat of those poor New Ulm lads, 54-21.
UM-Morris at Carleton — The Knights, on a roll of sorts, will crush Morris 58-18.
Other Games of Interest:
#6 Hardin-Simmons at #24 UW-Platteville — Hardin-Simmons will do to UW-P what I thought Bethel should have done, winning by 40-20.
#11 UW-La Crosse at Div-II Wayne State University — One would expect Wayne State to beat UW-L, so I’ll say they will by 27-18…but I hope I’m wrong. Congrats to UW-L for scheduling a D-II school.
St. Thomas has a bye.
Note: We heard from Bernie Weber ’63/’67 that he and his wife Barb are heading to St. Peter to scout Gustavus for us. It’s going to be an important game, since the Gusties are on the ascent. We’ll include his scouting report next issue.
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D3Football Top 25 —
There has been all kinds of movement in the poll, the likes of which we haven’t seen too often. North Central now sits at #1, up a place, and where they sat most of last season until rolled over by UMHB in the Stagg Bowl; they are followed by our Johnnies at #2, up two spots and jumping over Mt. Union who remained at #3. UW-Whitewater is now #4, up two places from their previous #6. Mary Hardin-Baylor slipped down to #5 from #1 the week before. Trinity is now #7, up two places while Linfield dropped one place to #8. UW-River Falls moved up two places to #17 based on their strong showing against St. John’s, and finally the shocker, Bethel dropped from #11 all the way to #21 after being upset by UW-Platteville who eased into the Top 25 at #24.
What to think about Bethel? Their coach told Gary Fasching that he thought the Royals were his best team in ten years…and their fine quarterback Jaran Roste was back hopefully to lead them into the post-season. Then, in the first game that Bethel easily won, Roste was injured on the second play of the game after completing his second run, adding up to 40 yards total (he’s a pass/run threat the likes of Kaleb Blaha of River Falls). I think it is an arm injury, not too serious, so he may be back in time to play us two Saturdays from now. If he had not been hurt there’s no way that UW-Platteville would have won, and the Top 25 ranking would look different.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2022/week2
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Bethel Lottery Winnings —
Two young Bethel alums sharing a small house were sitting on their porch sipping some Cokes when they noticed a truck loaded with rolls of sod going by.
“That’s what I gonna do when I win the lottery,” said one of the Royals.
“Do what?” asked the other.
“Send out my lawn to get mowed.”
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Some Post-Game Comments —
From Sister Katherine Kraft ’60, St. Benedict’s Monastery
Morning, Rob and Chris, Quite a game! My prediction before the game: Johnnies 34 River Falls 21 Final: 37 to 34
River Falls should not have gotten their last touchdown.
Henry Trost hurt his ankle. If we lose him, what happens to our weak running game?
Fewer than 70 yds. rushing in our first 2 games. Opponents will keep pressing Syverson as River Falls did.
River Falls played a better game than Whitewater. Were they underrated?
Tough game against Bethel coming up. We have to shore up the offensive line.
Take care, —S. Katherine
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From Wayne Hergott ’57, Edina, MN —
I am pleased. We are 2-0. A month ago I feared we could be 0-2 at this stage.
Our defense, QB and receivers have been outstanding. I admit that Syverson sometimes makes me nervous by occasionally throwing to receivers who are covered by multiple defendants.
We've got to develop a running game. Trost has been pretty much shut down but Saturday Feddema looked great after Trost was hurt. Why? Our offensive line was the same for both I think.
At times our tackling and receiving looked a bit sloppy with missed tackles and dropped passes. The excitement and nervousness of a second big game could have contributed to both and I expect improvement.
In his postgame interview I was surprised to hear Gary Fasching criticize himself for going for a two point conversion. After the TD we were ahead by one point. If we were successful on a two point conversion try, we could be tied but not beaten by a River Falls field goal. If we went for one point a RF field goal could beat us whether our attempt succeeded or failed. To me it was a no-brainer: Go for two points. I don't understand why Gary thinks he was wrong in going for two.
We are a bit banged up so the open date comes at a good time.
I enjoyed reading Mike O'Connor's statements about talking to Johnnie baseball players from the 1950s. We had great teams and great players and won 3 championships in 4 years. Those were fun years.
Thank you for all you do to keep us informed. — Wayne
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For example, Pascal's Wager: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal%27s_wager
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Related Quote of the Week —
Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that unless we love the truth, we cannot know it. — Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
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Thoughts on Generosity —
(From Chuck Garrity, Naples, FL)
Two Paynesville matrons were having coffee one weekday morning after Mass. One of them, Stella Steinbauer, said, “Every year I send each of my grandchildren a birthday and Christmas card with a generous check inside. I never hear from them, never receive a ‘thank you’ message.”
Her friend, Gloria Platz, replied, “I too send my grandchildren a very generous check, but I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit.”
“Wow!”, exclaimed Stella. “How come?”
“Very simple solution,” Gloria responded. “I don’t sign the check.”
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Scenes at the Tailgate —
In front of the Warner Palaestra, visitors to the tailgate are offered a photo op sitting in a giant lawn chair fabricated by Fr. Lew Grobe and his woodworking team. If any of you have a shot with people in it, please sent it to the UUN, complete with the person’s name and class year if appropriate.
A father and daughter duo enjoy the environment of the SJU tailgate. Head of School for St. John’s Prep School, Jon McGee ’84, is shown with his daughter Kate who is a senior at the Prep School. Her three older brothers also went to both Prep School and the College. Their mother, Ann Nicklawske McGee is an ’86 grad of St. Ben’s.
Where there is a crowd of alumni, Fr. Don Talafous OSB is sure to be, even though it’s getting more difficult for him to make all the venues. Here he is shown conversing with Harry Burns ’74/’78.
Once again gathered for a Johnnie Football game are the famed Flying Tomcziks, so named for their enthusiastic, ubiquitous support of the team. From left are Gary ’67 (the only real pilot of the group) in from Santa Barbara, CA; Ron ’65, and Pat, up from Northfield, MN.
Two 1991 classmates, (l) Bill Kozlak and Tom Nichol, sport matching SJU aprons while they work side-by-side offering uncommonly delightful treats to the Johnnie Faithful. Bill is the owner of Jax, the venerable NE Minneapolis restaurant, while Tom, a long-time member of the Board of Trustees, comes to his culinary pursuits as an advocation.
Warren “Boz” Bostrom ’95, an Accounting prof, greets St. John’s-St. Ben’s Provost, Dr. Richard Ice, who is proudly wearing a wonderful “Cardinal ’n Blue” bow tie, definitely classing up the tailgate.
John Forsythe ’74 (at right) and his wife Maureen say hello to your editor. The couple recently sold their iconic Bo Diddley’s sandwich shop and now have time to visit the tailgate and watch SJU football, something they never could do while working at their deli for over a quarter of a century.
Gathered around an open tailgate are friends (left) Tim Ward ‘78, Clark Stanton, Harry Burns 74/78, his newly-found cousin Mike Murphy ’61, and your old editor. Clark was visiting from San Rafael, CA for his (at least) one annual game. His son, John ’10, was a standout defensive back for the Johnnies and has been playing semi-pro football for many years in Tokyo, Japan.
‘Where’s the beef?’ That’s the question Frank Vascellaro and Joe Wozniak are shown discussing over their tailgate iced tea. Frank’s son Joe is a sophomore offensive lineman measuring 6’3”, 290, while Joe W’s son is defensive lineman Michael, no slouch himself at 6’3”, 255.
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From Our Readers —
From Joe Ness SJP ‘61, Bradenton, FL —
Thank you Bob for a shout-out in your wonderful UUN#2-22 for my brother Rev Bernie, and to you and Chris, together with Bill and Peg Marrin. Sue and I have received several touching notices as a result. God bless, — Joe and Sue Go Johnnies! 2-0!
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From Jim Conn ’64, Alexandria, MN —
Bob - This photo of the scoreboard portrays the score close to the end of the third quarter and offers convincing evidence of third quarter dominance by the Johnnies after the first half wherein the Johnnies were struggling to contain the powerful River Falls offense.
Coincidentally, I was also fortunate enough to capture a shot of the dancing squirrel on the video board for your UUN subscribers offering evidence of the creative ways in which Johnnie fans can now be entertained during a football game - obviously in honor of John Gagliardi.
But even more important than dancing squirrels (and gophers) - thank you for your creative weekly gift of the UUN during football season that keeps all of us united - GO JOHNNIES! Jim
(Editor’s Scoreboard-Related Comment: We’re grateful to Jim for sending us the squirrel-on-the-scoreboard photo. Its addition to the video portion of our game experience was a fun one. During its introductory antics the squirrel was leading the crowd in a series of nonsense noises/phrases; the problem was the uninitiated fans didn’t know they were supposed to answer back. That participation will come as people get used to it and should become an amusing tradition. Too bad the squirrel couldn’t be the Johnnie Rat but that would cost too much money to produce.)
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From Frank Ziegler ’62, Lino Lakes, MN —
Wick. Took this photo during the latter part of the 4th quarter today. Can’t remember seeing Fr. Don alone at a game before. Do you think it means the Johnny faithful were a bit rapt in regard to what was transpiring on the field?
A rare solitary moment
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From Conrad Macina, UUN Humorologist, Landing, NJ —
Greetings from Athens, Greece! I’m on a little mini-vacation enjoying the food and the history (but not the heat so much). Congrats on the decisive win over UWW!
Good news! I visited Delphi, and the Oracle says the Johnnies are going to crush UWRF on Saturday. Only they said it as ΥΥΥPΦ.
I’m sorry I don’t have a new joke for you this week (I left my archives at home), but I have this old one:
A young St. Thomas alum visiting New York City sits down at a bar on the top floor of a tall building. The guy sitting next to him says, “Y’know, I happen to be the architect who designed this building, and I did something really neat—if you jump out of a window, air currents will hold you up and you won’t fall.”
The Tommie doesn’t believe him.
The guy opens a window, jumps out and sure enough, he remains suspended in the air.
When he comes back in through the window, the Tommie says, “Wow! Can I try it?”
“Sure,” and the guy steps out of the way.
The Tommie jumps out the window and plunges to his death on the pavement below.
The bartender closes the window and says, “Y’know, you’re a really a jerk when you drink, Superman.”
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From Billy Kauffmann ’87, Plymouth, MN —
Maybe you all knew this information but I talked with a Johnnie benefactor today who came to play golf at Baker National Golf Course. He brought his neighbor whose wife is an employee of US Bank and was the person in charge of the final rivalry game between the Johnnies and U$T that was cancelled due to COVID. He said that SJU was in line to receive $500,000 in revenue from that game. It's all water under the bridge, of course. Just too bad we couldn't get some of that U$T money that they received from us at the Target Field and Allianz games. We still have our strong backbone, alumni. I'm inspired by the success of the Johnnie Challenge happening today.
(Editor’s Note: SJU alumni, parents and friends donated over $256,000 in a 24-hour period to benefit Johnnie athletics. Here’s the rest of the story: https://gojohnnies.com/news/2022/9/9/baseball-2022-go-johnnies-challenge-raises-over-256-000-for-sju-athletics.aspx )
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From Vic Murphy ’92, St. Paul, MN —
Musings and Observations from Mr. Caruso’s neighborhood.
D3 vs D1 Attendance Comparisons
UWW @ SJU 12,462
UWRF@ SJU 9,104
UMHB @ UWW 14,213
Total= 35,779
UST @ Southern Utah 5,000
Michigan Tech @ UST 4,768
Total = 9,768
So much for the D1 experience!!!
Euro Football Championship
Jackson Erdmann and the Vienna Vikings are heading to the ELF (European Football League) championship in Klagenfurt, Austria on Sunday, September 25. The Vikings will play the Hamburg Sea Devils as they defeated the Rhein Raiders 19-7 in their semifinal matchup this past Sunday. The Vikings and Sea Devils did not play each other during the regular season.
Game time is 3pm Central European time (8 am CDT).
Championship game pass is 9.99€ (link provided below). Cost is about the same as streaming an SJU game and, let’s face it, most Johnnie fans won’t be making the trip to Klagenfurt (except maybe Tom Linnemann and his shrimp pillow)! https://europeanleague.football/game-pass#/
Highlights from the Vikings semifinal contest vs Barcelona.
https://youtu.be/uKZ00VBOUwE
The Vikings won in convincing fashion 39-12. Barcelona’s quarterback, Zach Edwards, played his college ball at St. Scholastica and, yes, was on the field during the 98-0 “contest” in Collegeville. Erdmann has now bested him on four occasions, once in college and three times this season.
Also, here’s an interview with Ravi Alston at Montana State, where he’s playing out his last year of eligibility and working on his Masters after graduating from St. John’s; Ravi is an amazing young man. To have your dad die when he was 9 years old and come all the way to Collegeville to literally get his football career off the ground. Will be pulling for Montana State to make it back to the FCS Championship!:
https://www.kbzk.com/sports/big-sky-conference/montana-state-bobcats/the-final-drive-ravi-alston?fbclid=IwAR1veC3Dbts0T4gzh2IM0SwG76nslsuLjJA9M_8dVIPUOmkWGaindZd2ess
P.S. - Krewe and Flour & Flower, a fine restaurant and artisanal bakery both located across the alley from the La Playette in St. Joseph, were featured in StarTribune recently as worth driving to from the Cities.
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From Dan McDermott ’84, Plymouth, MN —
Bob - Thanks for committing to another season of assembling the UUN. You've created another "tradition unrivaled." I was reading some recaps on D3football.com and the intro to their podcast included this question:
Fan question in our mailbag from @CL1974MN: “If sju wins its next two games is that enough to slot in at number one, or do they first have to cure cancer?”
Let's hope they can answer that question on their podcast! — Dan
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From Paul Hamann ’63, Edina, MN —
Hi Bob, Glad you're back at it. Don't know how closely you follow d3football.com but Logan Hansen massages numbers like crazy. Below is one of his outputs. He appears to be a regular on the segment that predicts some weekend events.
Logan Hansen (@LogHanRatings) tweeted at 8:53 PM on Mon, Sep 12, 2022: Based purely on how well they've played this season and how difficult their schedule has been, where should we rank the Top 50 #d3fb teams? https://twitter.com/LogHanRatings/status/1569504611203186688?t=CmSXkP6dfjXDUhHXT2XjTg&s=03
The River Falls QB was a clone of Aurora's from a year or so ago. Go Johnnies — Paul
(Editor’s Reaction: Wow! Thanks for sending. As impressed as I am where he ranks SJU, I’m even more surprised to see that he ranks both #12 Gustavus and #34 Concordia over #44 Bethel, and that #32 Mt. Union is ranked so low. In his Top 50 teams Mr. Hansen has five WIAC schools listed, including #10 Platteville over #18 River Falls. Guess Gary’s decision to play higher-ranked teams in the preseason is paying off— as long as we win. Be interesting to see how accurate Hansen is as the season progresses.)
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UUN Helpful Hint of the Week —
For those of you who are still working from home due to the pandemic, please remember to try your jeans on every few days just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
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Meanwhile, Back At The Game —
Cheering on their team are the Lyngen sisters, Lucy ’24 and Leah ’23. These young women have been attending Johnnie Football since they were in preschool so it wasn’t much of an oddity they’d now be Bennies. Their pedigree is solid: dad is C.J. Lyngen and mom is Trish Anderson Lyngen, both ’92; Trish also sports a degree from SOT ’99.
These three friends sat around Doug Imholte’s ‘87 seat while the excitable Doug had an excused absence from the UWRF game. But neighboring fans didn’t suffer too much from his missing cheerleading, since the three of them did their best to mimic his antics. They are (left) Matt Keller ’86, Alex Schleper ’87, and John Quinlan ’87.
Sitting in arguably some of the best 50-yard line seats in Clemens Stadium are friends (from left) Jim Conn ’64, Gary Klein ’58, Nellie Klein ’60, and Anita Conn. Jim remains a great supplier of photos and material for the UUN while Nell is a frequent supplier of impassioned copy.
Relaxing at halftime are Perry and Patti Good, parents of former All-American Jason ’06 and parents-in-law to Lindsay Novak Good ’06. They started coming to Johnnie games when Jason transferred in and never left after graduation.
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Lena's Divorce —
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.
He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a vile I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."
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Wicker's Health Rant —
Department of Duh? Department:
Does Eating Ultra-Processed Food Affect Your Health?
People who drink more soda pop and eat candy and other ultra-processed food have worse health outcomes than those eating fresh foods.
What exactly are ultra-processed foods? Read what Harvard Medical School has to say:
And looking at this from the other direction, e.g., “food as medicine,” here is an article forwarded by physician Jeremiah Eisenschenk SJP ‘01/SJU ‘05, Weight Management Clinic Director of Essentia Health in Brainerd, MN (among other titles): https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/976209
By the way, Jeremiah also sends a discouraging word that only seven percent of U.S. adults have good cardiometabolic health, as measured by these five components of health: levels of blood pressure, blood sugar, blood cholesterol, adiposity (overweight and obesity), and presence or absence of cardiovascular disease (heart attack, stroke, etc.). Read more here: https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/957255
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UUN Musical Interlude —
(Take a 3-1/2 minute side trip to Heaven.)
Morales: Clamabat autem mulier Chananea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CygO4BAfZM4
From Spain To Eternity - The Sacred Polyphony Of El Greco's Toledo, Medieval Spanish Sacred Music
A woman of Canaan cried [to the Lord Jesus,]
English translation to read while you’re listening: https://www.cpdl.org/wiki/index.php/Clamabat_autem_mulier
(From the Lectionary from Year II during Lent)
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Just Another Night at the La —
A serious drunk walked into the La Playette and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorrsh. I thought you weresh my wife. You look exactly like her.”
“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.
“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound just like her.”
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THE FINAL WORD
(Contributed by Denny Bracco ’75, Oak Park, IL)
Accident on the Course —
While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart. A very beautiful and attractive golfer, who lived right there on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise, came running out of her villa and shouted, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up I noticed she was wearing only a silky see through bathrobe which was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a VERY nice figure."I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself out from under the twisted cart.
She said, "Please follow me to my villa so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head, then you can rest a while, and I'll help you upright the cart later.""That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
Oh, come on now," she insisted. " We need to see if you have any more scrapes and treat them if so.” Well, after all, she was really pretty and very, very persuasive.
Being sort of shaken and weak, I finally agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this.” We walked to her place just a 100 yards away, and after a couple of Scotch and waters and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall even more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything, and by the way, where is she?"
I replied, "Still under the cart, I guess."
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So much for issue #3. Sorry it’s late but I had a very full week, including hosting our good friend Clark Stanton for a couple nights, going to the YMCA three mornings a week, zip-lining for my birthday (which took a huge hunk of Tuesday), and attending a parish dinner last night. But through it all I remembered to utter loudly…
GO JOHNNIES ! !
Barbecue During The Bye (or something like that)
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P.S. For those that want to subscribe or resubscribe, please go to the website listed at bottom. Yes, thanks to my daughter Caitlin we have an in-progress website.
Sincerely submitted,
R.L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64,
You can call me Rob, you can call me Bob, you can call me Theo or Wick…and my personal pronouns are “he a Johnnie” and “him a Johnnie.”
St. Paul, MN; 651-699-4697
theowick@aol.com
https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com