Off to a Smashing Start (UUN #2-22)
Dear Proud, Pleased Johnnie Fans —
Well, you could have fooled nearly 12,500 fans, mostly clad in red, last Saturday if you predicted beforehand that the Johnnies would mostly shut down the #4 team in the nation. Our 24-10 convincing victory over mistake-prone UW-Whitewater Warthogs, er…I mean Warhawks, was enough for St. John’s to be named #4 by d3football.com after the game while UWW slipped to #6. The larger-than-expected crowd was really in the game and volubly supported the home team, not to mention the Athletic Department’s heretofore strained coffers.
We won by good coaching, solid preparation, determination, grit and superior conditioning. The Warhawks were tiring in the third quarter and by the fourth quarter our defense just shut them down…slammed them shut, actually — UWW totaled only four yards, combined, on its final seven offensive drives of the game.
In the meantime, our offense had to win with one hand tied behind its back, namely our running game was non-existent. Junior quarterback Aaron Syverson finally got our passing going, completing 25 for 34 while capitalizing on two of three Warhawk turnovers, throwing for 269 yards and three touchdowns with one interception. We also had two (count ‘em, 2) safeties adding four points to our total. It was a relatively clean game penalty-wise, one SJU won by committing only three for 11 yards — most impressive for the first game of the season; by comparison Whitewater committed seven for 45 yards.
A Warhawk defender signals Alex Larson’s TD, one of two he scored against UW-Whitewater.
SJU has two preseason All-Americans — seniors Michael Wozniak and Alex Larson — and both of them lived up to the early accolades. Michael had five tackles, including three sacks and a forced fumble, while Alex had nine catches for 84 yards and two touchdowns.
Senior defensive lineman Michael Wozniak tallied three sacks, including this strip-sack in the third quarter; note the ball leaving the quarterback's hands. (image courtesy of Libby Auger).
UWW had one preseason All-American, linebacker Ryan Lizska, whose presence (with two tackles and two assists,) must have been felt in a Warhawk defense that limited our superb running back Henry Trost to only 21 yards while holding the team, counting yards lost, to an embarrassing 11 yards net. There has been some conversation about our lack of running success; some wonder if UWW’s defensive line was just so much bigger than ours, or if the Warhawks were keying on Henry to limit his moves, or even if our rebuilt offensive line wasn’t entirely ready for prime time. Who knows for sure?…it could be a combination of all three. We’ll see what happens against UW-River Falls this coming Saturday. Coach Gary Fasching ’81 said after the game that the practice and study time between the first game and second is where much progress is made. The fact that we played so well right out of the box bodes well for us in the future, assuming we do, as Gary suggests, use what we learn from this first game to prepare us for River Falls, not to mention the upcoming MIAC season.
Here are a couple links for further reading, including the box score, about the game:
Wozniak, No. 5 Johnnies Follow Formula to Knock Off No. 4 UW-Whitewater. https://gojohnnies.com/news/2022/9/3/football-wozniak-no-5-johnnies-follow-formula-to-knock-off-no-4-uw-whitewater.aspx
St. John’s steps up its schedule, takes down powerful Wisconsin-Whitewater in opener. https://www.startribune.com/st-johns-collegeville-wisconsin-whitewater-division-iii-football-patrick-reusse/600203710/
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Overheard at the Warhawks Post-Game Meal —
Two defensive backs were talking while they were eating their post-game pasta. One Warhawk named Alex said to the other, “Hey, Vern, I hear ya got a new medicine.”
His teammate replied, “Yeah, it’s something new. Called suppositories."
“Oh does it help?” asked Alex
“Nah, they don’t seem to help a bit. I might just as well have stuck them up my butt."
(Tommy Cebulla ’58, Andover, MN, who supplied this bit, swears he heard it himself.)
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Jim Conn ’64 spoke with Fisher's’ owner, Jacob Voss (pictured above), after the UWW game where Jim and Anita went for dinner. Said he catered 100 pasta meals for Whitewater after the game. Whitewater expressed pleasure with the meal in spite of the loss. Fisher's is in Avon on the shores of Middle Spunk Lake.
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Some Post-Game Comments —
From Wayne Hergott ’57, Edina (John Gagliardi’s first quarterback) —
The game was terrific. Both teams played well, not perfectly, but very well for the first game of the year and they are both excellently coached. At the end of the third quarter I noticed I was thinking the game is so great from a spectator's standpoint I don't care who wins. However, after noticing what I was thinking, I quickly changed the second part of that thought to I want the Johnnies to win. I'm looking forward to next week and hope we can do it again. — Wayne
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From Gina Galiardi Benson ‘84 to Mary Wozniak ‘87 on Facebook —
I wish Leroy [Lilly ’55, Michael Wozniak’s grandfather and Mary’s father] could have been there Saturday to see your son tear up the field in a game involving top-ranked D3 teams. He was unbelievable. If he could have lived to see it. My dad as well. But that’s not how it works. Leroy and Dad had their day. And now it’s Michael’s day. And, oh, what a day he had.
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From Frank Ziegler ’62, Lino Lakes, MN —
Against Whitewater SJU rushed for a total of 39 yards of which 15 were gains on quarterback scrambles. Then they also lost 28 yards on QB scrambles for a net rushing day of +11 yards. That's less range than my electric car. Hardly commendable or enviable with UW-RF and Bethel looming. Let's hope the offensive line learns from the films and that the upcoming defensive teams aren't as quick or talented as UWW. Bethel is watching... — Ziggy
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From Sam Chalmers ’21, Des Moines, IA, on Twitter —
"Defend The Tradition" - Ft. @SJUJohnnies legend @JohnSharkman This video was a blast to put together and watching it with 12,500 of my best friends last Saturday is something I'll never forget! Excited to see what @Johnnies_Video has in store for the rest of the season. https://t.co/Fx9AK8pB99" / Twitter — Sam Chalmers video
https://twitter.com/samchalmers5/status/1566956753450835968
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From Mike O’Connor ‘57, Burnsville, MN —
Hi Rob, Missed you Saturday, but wanted to share what a wonderful and eventful day I enjoyed in addition to the game and its outcome. Haven't had so much fun in a long time. Maybe since beating St Thomas.
--- Tailgated a little while with daughter Katie CSB '82 and husband Mike, her daughter Megan Benson CSB'13 and her husband Joey Benson '13 (John Gagliardi's grandson).
--- Went to stadium about noon and right away ran into classmate Wayne Hergott '57. Wayne was 1st base, me 2nd base on '54 and '55 MIAC champs.
--- Sat in Coburn family seats with Mabel Coburn, Dan's '52 widow and her guardian Lisa, right on 50 yard line.
---- Right behind us was Gary '58 and Nellie ‘60 Kline. Gary was in late wife Nita's St. Cloud Cathedral '54 class. Thanks again for attending her funeral five years ago, Rob. Lots of fun with them.
--- Right in front of us was Bob Kleinschmidt '56, our No. 1 starting pitcher on those champ baseball teams.
--- Then at halftime spent time with LeRoy Lilly's daughters Colleen Lilly ‘81 and Mary Wozniak ‘87. LeRoy '55 was our left fielder on that team. Katie and Colleen worked together for years at NW/Delta.
--- Got to greet many others including Tom Stock, Thom Woodward ’70, Ev Weber ’68, etc. But missed my OSB friends such as Bro. Mark and Frs. Wilfred and Don. Hope to make up for that on Oct 1st. Thanks Rob for continuing the great UUN tradition, and hope to see you soon. Regards, — Mike
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From Colleen Lilly ’81, Edina, MN (and Michael Wozniak’s aunt) —
Talked with Michael after the game and he thought Whitewater was a good team and very clean with no trash talking or dirty plays. He thought that skill-wise they were Bethel caliber.
He also said that the huge O-lineman (6’7”, 356 pounds) he went up against was better than he was expecting.
(Editor’s Addition: Colleen also sent this quick video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiOYPEDDspO/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D )
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More Scenes From Stearns County —
Elderly Father Anton Szczeck, pastor emeritus of St. Rose of Lima in St. Rosa, had been having trouble with the collections ever since the beginning of summer.
Last Sunday he announced just before the Offertory, "Now, before we pass da collection plate, I would like to request dat da person who stole da chickens from Lenny Wielinski’s henhouse please refrain from giving any money to da Lord. Da Lord doesn't want money from a teef!"
The collection plate was passed around and, for the first time in months, everybody gave.
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MIAC 2021 Standings
MIAC All
Northwoods Division
St. John’s 6-0 8-0
Gustavus 4-2 6-2
St. Olaf 3-3 4-4
Carleton 4-2 6-2
St. Scholastica 0-6 0-6
Skyline Division
Bethel 5-1 7-1
Augsburg 4-2 4-4
Concordia 2-4 3-5
Macalester 1-5 2-6
Hamline 1-5 3-5
(St. John’s won the MIAC Championship and automatic NCAA post-season bid; Bethel received one of five at-large bids.)
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AROUND THE MIAC —
Last Week’s Results —
1st Week, Saturday, September 3
Concordia 14 at Valley City State (ND) 12
St. Olaf 13 at Central (IA) 44
St. Scholastica 0 at Sewanee (TN) 50
Pacific Lutheran (WA) 9 at Bethel 41
Gustavus 62 at Buena Vista (IA) 20
Macalester 45 at UM-Morris 24
Augsburg 23 at U. of Northwestern 15
Hamline 39 at Crown College 14
UW-Whitewater (WI) 10 at St. John’s 24
Other Games of Interest:
St. Thomas travelled to Southern Utah University (Cedar City, Utah) last Thursday and got soundly spanked 44-13.
UW-River Falls severely upended host Elmhurst (IL) 63-0 last Saturday.
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Games This Week —
2nd Week, Saturday, September 10
Bethel at UW-Platteville — Bethel creams ‘em, even without injured QB Roste, 40-20.
Crown College at Carleton —A win for Carleton, maybe as high as 45-17.
UM-Morris at Hamline — The Pipers make it two wins in a row, 35-28.
Luther College at St. Olaf — A good rivalry and a close game: Luther 24-19.
Martin Luther College at Macalester — Mac should win 38-24.
Concordia at Presentation College — The Cobbers better win to stay relevant: 32-9.
UW-River Falls at St. John’s — Facing an explosive Falcons offensive, the Johnnies will ultimately prevail: 36-21.
Other Games of Interest:
St. Thomas (0-1) hosts Michigan Tech (1-0) this Saturday. The Huskies beat UW-Platteville 23-13 last week, and I predict the Tommies to win by a similar score: 21-14.
UW-Whitewater hosts Mary Hardin-Baylor and if the Warhawks thought they faced a challenge last week, they’re really in for it this week: Crusaders wallop UWW 48-14.
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The Uncasual Fan —
Perfect is a matter of Perspective.
The game is over. The weather and temperature was a 10. The tailgating lot was in mid-season form. We got to renew old friendships, the turf in the stadium was new and shiny (I liked the alternating shades of green). The stands were packed and full of red. The students showed interest for the entire game. The new video montages were excellent. You could smell the brats and burgers all game long. Our big time players made big time plays in a big time game. No major injuries that I am aware of – and oh, by the way, our boys in red (not cardinal ’n blue) won 24-10.
Yes – it was an absolutely perfect day (or was it?)
Game Summary:
1. Our defense came to play and performed extremely well against a highly rated team. We looked to be in better shape than the larger sized Warhawks (especially in the 2nd half)
2. WW repeatedly shot themselves in the foot with bad snaps to the QB and punter, a dropped punt reception inside their own red zone, some other fumbles and being overwhelmed by the Johnnie defense in the 4th Quarter
3. Our punting game (9 punts) kept them from flipping the field in crucial situations. That was nice to see, even the 20-yard punt that rolled an additional 20 yards.
Top 3 players this week:
1. Michael Wozniak – multiple tackles for loss and forced fumbles and a headache for WW all day
2. Alex Larsen – 2TDs, 9 Receptions and 84 yards. Throw it up there and let the big guy go get it
3. Aaron Syverson – 25 for 34 for 269 yards and 3 TDs
4. But the defense should really get the best man award for the day
One of the best things about Week One games is that you get a chance to take a look at game film and analyze the things that you worked and identify areas that need some focus. My guess is that the following areas get some attention this week in practice.
· Eliminate/reduce dropped catches, especially on short routes. These hurt us early in the first half. Maybe it was first-game jitters.
· Kick off coverage – we need to tighten that up a bit
· What to do when you field a short kick off—maybe catch it and go as straight up the field as soon as possible. No dancing and weaving required.
Biggest concern:
The running game. I think the O-line did a decent job but some part of our run game needs to incorporate avoiding tackles and run to daylight vs trying to just overpower every situation. Sometimes you can pass because they are defending the run and sometimes you can run because they are defending the pass. Like I said earlier, Week One performance leads to Week Two opportunities for improvement.
All-in-all, maybe not perfect but a perfect way to start the season with a win over a very tough #4 ranked WW team.
My Final Rant:
This was the only real negative for me for the day. I happened to be sitting in the section of the main stands that is closest to the Palestra. A few rows behind me were a group of men (late 30’s/early 40’s) dressed in red, with their wives/significant others, who spent most of the first half dropping F- bombs and in a period of about 5 to 10 minutes openly stated #91 was over-rated, that we should pull the QB and give the second stringer a chance, and that we should pull the guy who fumbled a punt and never let him on the field again. Talk about knowledgeable football fans. Unbelievable. Based on their “extensive” football experience (which most likely ended in junior high) these sports geniuses must feel they have the right to openly and loudly express their opinions because they paid $10 and feel that every game should end 80-0. How did these guys even graduate from SJU. Sorry for the rant. It probably won’t change them but it will change where I sit next time. See you next week. Go Johnnies!
(Editor’s Note: We’re sorry that Uncasual Fan, a member of the ’76 National Champs, and all the others sitting around these yahoos experienced un-Johnnie-like behavior. This brings to mind a letter Thom Woodward ’70, retired director of Alumni Relations, wrote to The Record and the StarTribune a couple years ago regarding similar uncharacteristic behavior by Johnnies. I’ve edited it down quite a bit:
Saint John’s University students need to be held accountable for their words and actions. That’s what I tell Johnnie baseball players when they utter an F-bomb audible in the stands or fail to sprint to first base where their lack of effort is visible to every fan. Those offenses irk me.
The Hon. H.C. Waite, among Saint John’s first graduates, gave us the words to live by in his commencement address of 1882. All Johnnies particularly need to heed his directive published in a SJU history covering 1857-1907.
“Let your attendance here never bring reproach upon the institution,” he told the graduates. “Look back to her [SJU] as a foster mother and extend to her that consideration she has so bountifully extended to you. Protect the reputation of the institution you have assisted in making and when you go hence, go forth bravely, boldly and wisely to your tasks.”
Yes, Johnnie teams want to be number one, want to be the best. I was suggesting something more essential: Strive to be number one in all we do. In the classroom as well as in athletics. Be the best son, best husband, best father. Be the best employer, employee, citizen.)
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Battle Between the Sexes, Communications Division —
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A View from the Field —
(By Ron Tomczik ’65, Medicine Lake, MN)
When speaking with Michael Wozniak early Saturday morning, the overall impression I received from the conversation was the super confidence (and calm) he had in himself and the Johnnies in their ability to beat Whitewater. “They are a good team—but so are we. We are prepared, we will be ok”.
At game end I spoke with many players—same confidence-- that they believed BEFORE the game they could beat Whitewater “Our coaches prepared us well, we watched a lot of film and in the last week or so, practices consisted of preparing for Whitewater.” Coaches were emphatic when speaking with players during the week that they could win. Example, because Whitewater would be having some new starters, SJU would execute the 3-second rule—often with no huddle in order to not give the Whitewater defense a chance to make adjustments. Half time adjustments—e.g. switching Wozniak to the other side of the line in order to capitalize on his skills and game conditions.
So, were the Whitewater turnovers, two safeties, and sometimes poor execution, caused by the supreme confidence our Team was giving off with each play? For sure our Defense played very strong—especially in the 2nd half and super in the 4th quarter. At the end of the first half —not getting any points—when starting at our 2 yd line—must have been depressing. In the 2nd half when SJU muffed a punt reception—and the game’s outcome still in doubt -on about our 25 yard line—and again not getting any points must also have been devastating for the Warhawk team.
Summary: Whitewater will most likely “fix” their turnover issues—and we must improve our rushing game and we may meet again in the playoffs. We have a very good team and our players believe we can go far!
Trivia: Speaking with two D-1 transfer players and families: Atmosphere at SJU is completely different: e.g., no 8-hour football week day practices, our crowd was amazing, and they are happy to be at SJU.
Oh, happy we...!
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D3Football Top 25 —
It’s already obvious to followers of Division III that #1-ranked Mary Hardin-Baylor is the cream of the division and the team to beat…if that’s even possible. Numbers 2 & 3, North Central and Mt. Union have dreams of glory, as does St. John’s who just moved to #4, thanks to their strong showing over UW-Whitewater who’s now #6. But we have to stay real; watch what UMHB does to UWW this Saturday. That should put things into perspective.
Bethel jumped up two spots to #11 after their thrashing of unranked Pacific Lutheran, while UW-River Falls dropped a point to #19 after an even more lopsided win over CCIW bottom-dwelling Elmhurst. Go figure. And while we’re looking at that, Gustavus, which received votes last week, received even fewer this week after demolishing Buena Vista.
And the WIAC still has four teams in the Top 25; it will be fun watching them eat each other up. UWW still believes they are the team to beat despite losing to us and most likely to UMHB.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2022/week1
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SJU 2022 Football Schedule
(All games are played on Saturdays, beginning at 1 pm)
Date Opponent Location
Sep. 3 UW-Whitewater Collegeville W—24-10
Sep. 10 UW-River Falls Collegeville
Sep. 17 Bye —
Sep. 24 Bethel Arden Hills, MN
Oct. 1 Concordia (HC) Collegeville
Oct. 8 Augsburg Minneapolis
Oct. 15 St. Olaf* Northfield, MN
Oct. 23 Gustavus* (FW) Collegeville
Oct. 29 St. Scholastica* Duluth, MN
Nov. 5 Carleton* Collegeville
Nov. 12 MIAC Champ. Wk. Collegeville
HC = Homecoming
FW = Family Weekend
* = Northwoods Division
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes, Mike Carr and Charlie Carr will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 24th season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet.
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Listening via the Internet: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Viewing via live streaming: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
(Note: You will will be charged $10 to watch this game.)
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Moral Assignment —
A grade school teacher gave the assignment to her class, that each student should think of a story and then a moral for that story to share with the class the next day. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, and little Suzy raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story and Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next little Lucy offers to tell her story, and she says, "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story and Lucy replies, "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Finally it's little Johnny's turn and he says, "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a machine gun, a machete, and a full bottle of bourbon. On the way down he drank all the bourbon.
"Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story and Johnny replies, “Yes…Don’t mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.”
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2022 Preseason WIAC Predictions –
(With last season’s records)
1. UW-Whitewater (13-1, 7-0 WIAC)
2. UW-La Crosse (9-3-1, 6-1 WIAC)
3. UW-River Falls (9-2, 5-2 WIAC)
4. UW-Oshkosh (6-3, 4-3 WIAC)
5. UW-Platteville (4-6, 3-4 WIAC)
6. UW-Stout (5-5, 2-5 WIAC)
7. UW-Eau Claire (3-7, 1-6 WIAC)
7. UW-Stevens Point (2-8, 0-7 WIAC)
https://uwrfsports.com/news/2022/8/23/falcon-football-tabbed-third-in-wiac-preseason-poll.aspx
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About Wisconsin-River Falls
River Falls, Wisconsin is part of the Minneapolis-St. Paul metropolitan area and located approximately 30 miles east of the center of that region. The population was 16,182 at the 2020 census. The city's first settlers were Joel Foster and his indentured servant, Dick, in 1848. The Kinnickinnic River, known locally as the Kinni, flows through the heart of the city and its downtown business district, and is a popular recreational attraction in River Falls for fly fishers and kayakers. The present name for River Falls comes from the Kinnickinnic River rapids. On the bluffs of the Kinnickinnic River is Glen Park, a 41-acre park established in 1898.
River Falls is home to the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. UWRF is part of the University of Wisconsin System. The 226-acre campus is situated on the Kinnickinnic River in the St. Croix River Valley. The university has 32 major buildings and two laboratory farms, with a total of 440 acres of land.
The University of Wisconsin–River Falls was founded in 1874 as River Falls State Normal School, one of the state normal schools created to prepare students for teaching careers and to provide better education to the state's frontier regions. In 1927, the school was renamed River Falls State Teachers College, as the state normal schools became "State Teachers Colleges" that incorporated a significant increase in general education offerings and four-year courses of study leading to a Bachelor of Education degree.
After World War II, thousands of returning veterans in Wisconsin under the G.I. Bill needed more college choices for their studies and educational advancement. Because of popular demand, the Regents of the State Teachers College system allowed the teacher training institutions to offer bachelor's degrees in liberal arts and fine arts. In 1951, when the state teachers colleges were organized as "Wisconsin State Colleges,” the school name was changed to Wisconsin State College–River Falls, and the school offered a full four-year liberal-arts curriculum. In 1964, it was renamed Wisconsin State University-River Falls when state colleges were all granted university status.
The school became a member of the University of Wisconsin System in 1971 when the former University of Wisconsin and the Wisconsin State University system merged. It then became the University of Wisconsin–River Falls.
UWRF has an enrollment of nearly 5,900 students (which includes 434 grad students and 190 special undergrads) in more than 70 undergraduate and graduate programs in four distinct colleges. UWRF is known for being exceptional in fields such as STEM, agricultural sciences, teacher education, business and liberal arts, as well as in innovative multidisciplinary programs and new programs added in response to student interest and employer need. The estimated costs noted here include tuition and fees, textbook rental, housing and dining: Wisconsin resident: $14,660 per year; Minnesota resident: $15,765 per year. The school colors are red and white and their nickname is The Falcons.
In January, UW-RF students who utilize the new Student Center will also enjoy a view of one of the most pristine and beautiful trout streams in the Upper Midwest – the South Fork of the Kinnickinnic River.
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Go, Title IX —
The following are the Varsity Women’s Sports at UW-River Falls:
Basketball, Cross Country, Golf, Ice Hockey, Lacrosse, Soccer, Softball, Tennis, Track and Field (Indoor), Track and Field (Outdoor), and Volleyball.
Here are the Varsity Men’s Sport at the same institution:
Basketball, Cross Country, Football, Ice Hockey, Track and Field (Indoor), and Track and Field (Outdoor).
It is suggested that young men wishing to play intercollegiate Golf, Lacrosse, Soccer, and Baseball apply to another college or university.
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A Look at the River Falls Falcons —
The Elmhurst University Bluejays (IL) team is not exactly the Little Sisters of the Poor, but you can see their convent from the Bluejays’ field. Thus Elmhurst was easy pickings for a very solid, balanced Top 20 D-III football squad coming down from River Falls, WI. The 63-0 score, played out in front of 575 somnolent fans, was pretty bad for the Bluejays, but take away their horrendous 2nd quarter of 39 points, the remaining 24 points spread out over the other three quarters — 8, 6 and 10 — weren’t quite so humiliating.
The UW-RF Falcons rang up 560 yards of total offense while limiting Elmhurst to 79. But what killed Elmhurst were three interceptions and two fumble recoveries, many of them happening in that nightmarish second quarter. The Falcon defense caused five Bluejay turnovers with the aforementioned intercepts and fumbles.The Falcon defense also rang up four sacks and 12 tackles for loss. Sophomore defensive back #37 Braydon Wolf led the crew with five tackles.
Offensively, the score would indicate a potent Big-O machine, and the Falcons were pretty efficient…but against Elmhurst? Thanks to Vic Murphy ’92 sending me the video of the game, I watched much of the first half and then moved quickly through the rest. Here’s my brief overview: The first of three quarterbacks UW-RF used, #14 sophomore Minnesotan Kaleb Blaha, looks pretty sharp, both in passing and running, the latter which he seems to do a lot right up the middle. Our D-backs will need to keep an eye on him. The Falcons went primarily no-huddle, and favor quick passes for five to seven yards in lieu of deep bombs, but they throw those on occasions too. Favorite target was junior receiver #18 A.J. Morrison but a big, fast freshman, WR #88 Ron Beauchamp, snagged two TDs in an impressive opening performance. Main running back and hometown kid sophomore #13 Michael Krueger (pronounced Kreeger) scored three rushing TDs, but the tailback that I liked was #24 senior RB T.J. Little, a real quick hitter. A word about the Falcons offensive line: they’re big boys— about eight of them ranging from 290 to 315; I discounted all their O-linemen in the 270s and 280s, and that’s the range of many of the D-line. They got the beef, that’s for sure. One thing that the Falcons need to improve on is their PATs; their poor kicker missed so many that the exasperated coach finally just had them go for two points after the TDs.
Looking over the River Falls roster I was a bit surprised to see they are mostly Minnesota kids, and not just from the Metro area but from all over the state. The Falcons have 79 Minnesotans versus 50 Wisconsin lads. They also have 13 players from out west, nearly all from Arizona. Another thing that stood out was how many freshmen and sophomores are on the squad…UW-RF should be strong for years to come.
I was sent this Facebook posting by Warren “Boz” Bostrom ’95, an Accounting prof at SJU-CSB, writing about UW-RF:
Normally when I watch practice, I tend to watch the offense. But today, I watched the defense. The big unknown on Saturday is how well our defense will handle the high-powered River Falls offense.
River Falls runs an up-tempo offense and they run a LOT of plays. On Saturday, the Johnnies had 58 total plays against Whitewater. In their game on Saturday, River Falls had 57 rushing plays alone, and tacked on 50 passing plays for a total of a whopping 107 plays. In their final two games last year, they had 115 plays in one game and 117 in the other.
After years of being average, River Falls found their stride last year and they have themselves a strong football team. They are rated #19 in the country. They only had two losses last year, and one was a narrow defeat against #3 Whitewater. Will the #4 Johnnies be able to slow them down? Come to Clemens Stadium on Saturday and find out for yourself!
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That’s a fitting invitation from Boz and the Johnnies really hope for another large, boisterous crowd to bolster their efforts in what should be a similar challenging, character-building game. The weather shouldn’t be a factor at all: partly cloudy, light winds (6 mph), temps in the low 70ºs, very low chance of rain. Just perfect for players and fans alike. What are our chances? I think there will be more scoring than against UWW and a lot of action on the field. We all hope we can establish a suitable ground game against yet another row of behemoths. If not, this game may well develop into a shoot-out, one that I believe SJU will survive 36-21.
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The River Falls Efficiency Expert —
Paul Johnson, a junior offensive lineman for the UW-RF Falcons, got a part time job at the River Falls Post Office over the summer. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day.
“I just want you to know,” the supervisor said, “that I’m very pleased with the job you did today. You’re one of the fastest workers we’ve ever had.”
“Thank you, Sir” said the River Falls player, beaming, “and tomorrow I’ll try to do even better.”
“Better?” the supervisor asked with astonishment. “How can you possibly do any better than you did today?”
The Falcon replied, “Tomorrow I’m going to read the addresses.”
* * * *
Battle Between The Sexes, Nuptials Department —
Stop the Wedding...
(Courtesy Denny Bracco ’75, Oak Park, IL)
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Servant Leaders, Requiescat in Pace —
Last week, we buried two remarkable men, one a monk, the other a husband, father, businessman and community leader. What did they have in common, other than a Benedictine background from St. John’s?
They were both humble, faith-filled men who made life better for others, putting service to God first in how they related to their various communities, quietly accomplishing much and inspiring others as they did so. Here are the remarkable obituaries of Father Bernadine Ness, OSB SJP ’56 and Roger Scherer ’58.
https://saintjohnsabbey.org/father-bernardine-ness-osb
https://www.gearty-delmore.com/obituary/Roger-Scherer
I attended both funerals, the former in the Abbey Church to support my good friend Joe Ness SJP ‘61and his wife Sue. Joe, from Bradenton, FL, is Fr. Bernie’s younger brother. Chris and I were accompanied by Bill ’61/’65 and Peg Marrin; KC ’67/‘71 and Anne Blashak Marrin ’71; and Dr. Joe Wenner ’63/’67.
The next day, back in the Cities, we celebrated Roger’s life at former Benedictine parish, Holy Name of Jesus, in Medina, MN. It was a huge event, for Roger had a large family, many friends and associates, and a group of loyal friends from St. John’s, including several classmates and a number of other Johnnie admirers.
Roger is survived by his wife of 63 years, Irma Gentilini Scherer ‘58, children Rachael, Peter, Kristopher ’87, Mark ’90, Andrea, and Maria; thirteen grandchildren, including Andrew ’20, and Claudia ’25. He treasured his relationships with brother Gary (Carolyn) Scherer, sisters Donna ’53 (+Robert 51) Zitur, and Jean 61(Paul ’60) Wagener, sister-in-law Marina Gentilini, and many nieces, nephews, and cousins, including Mike ’67, Greg ’68, Dennis ’71, and John ’76 Scherer.
Attending Roger’s funeral (that I knew who were related to SJU) were Len ‘58 and Kay Mrachek; Tom Stock; John Taylor ’58; Fr. Don Talafous ’48; Bob Labat ’59; Joe Mucha ’66; Bob Gavin ’62; Rob Culligan ’82; Bill Sexton ’55; Craig Junker ’90; Brian Bruess, SJU-CSB President; Pete Amann ’90; Tom ‘52 and Dan ’85 McKeown; Larry SJP ’60 and Renee Jordan; Tom Nicol ’91; Kent and Kevin Howe, both ’56; Jim Bassett ’58; Fr. Eric Hollas; Fr. Lew Grobe ’06; Ernie Stelzer ’59; John Young ’83; Tom Joyce ’61; John Rogers ’63; Larry Koll ’58; and Fr. Dale Launderville ’73.
(From Tom McKeown: Rob, checked with my grandson, Michael Syverud ’20. He and Andrew Scherer ’20, Roger’s grandson, were roommates three years at SJU and the last two years before Andrew and his fiancée bought a house. Andrew is Mark’s son and Michael’s mother is Mary McKeown CSB, ‘82. Good to see you today. Tom)
(Editor’s Comment: The Johnnie-Bennie ties throughout Minnesota and beyond never cease to amaze.)
* * * *
Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings —
The Saint John’s Life Safety Department has placed warning signs on each floor of the Freshmen and Sophomore Dorms to tip off underage drinkers about the possible peril of drinking any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a reeking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the faculty resident what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
* * * *
Homeless Twins Find a Place at St. Ben’s —
(Another amazing story to put in the Underground. — Vic Murphy)
Yuen: Homeless no more, these Minnesota twins are now starting college. https://www.startribune.com/yuen-homeless-no-more-these-minnesota-twins-are-now-starting-college/600202686/
Emily and Courtney Goude have begun a new life at the College of St. Benedict.
* * * *
Neil Young Tribute Concert After River Falls Game —
Wicks, Thanks for the kickoff edition of the UUN! For any of your readers who are Neil Young fans, there is a concert by Powderfinger at Milk and Honey Ciders in St. Joseph Saturday, September 10 from 6-9 pm. The band is billed as "Minnesota's premier Neil Young tribute band." I thought the music was free until I just checked the website (below) and saw tickets are $12. I like music but I'm not enough of a Neil Young fan to buy tickets. I'm guessing there might be a few of your readers who might want to take it in after the Johnnie v. River Falls game. Information is below.
http://www.milkandhoneyciders.com/
http://www.milkandhoneyciders.com/events/2021/9/25/patio-session-chance-mccoy-ksnsr-s5tw6
Thanks for the good reads! — Billy Kauffman '87
* * * *
The Big Spender —
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into the La Playette and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows the man’s orders and says: “That will be $36.50, please.” The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. “What, no drink for me?” replies the bartender sarcastically.
“Oh, no. You get violent when you drink.”
* * * *
From Our Readers —
Our thanks for so many faithful readers writing in to acknowledge their enjoyment of the UUN and to welcome in a new football season: among them are: John Chromy '64: Tom Guetzke ’80; John Lohmann ’64; Tom Troskey ’67; Larry Happe '64; Mike Obler '64 (who mentioned the small type size so it’s getting bigger this issue); Joe Wenner ’63/‘67; Harry Acker; Bill Marrin ’61/‘65; and Mike Murphy ’61. By the way, next week SJU enjoys a bye week, and I’m undecided if I will prepare an UUN; if I do it will be mercifully brief.
* *
From Jeremiah Eisenschenk 05, Cross Lake, MN —
What a day in Collegeville! Pristine weather, a Johnnie statement win, capped with a post-game walk in the SJU woods. Grateful to connect with my best buds from SJU Class of 2005, Tim Joyce and Ryan Kroschel MD. Jeremiah Eisenschenk MD at right.
Meanwhile my brother Jonah Eisenschenk, SJU Class of 2016 and current MSU post-bacc pre-med student, and his wife Emily were at Bobcat Stadium to cheer Ravi Alston & MSU to victory!
* * * *
From Vic Murphy ’92, St. Paul, MN —
Ravi Alston TD: Ravi had a good night in the 40-17 win…3 catches for 48 yds with a long of 29 and a TD.
https://twitter.com/msubobcats_fb/status/1566250805598253058?s=21&t=uTDZrEiBB8FJu2guMm8EaA
* *
From Frank Ziegler '62, Lino Lakes, MN —
My inner 12-year-old will be giggling forever, now that I know the Norwegian phrase for speed bumps is "Fartshumper"...
* * * *
From Sister Katherine Kraft, OSB ’60, St. Benedict’s Monastery —
Dear Theo, Thank you for all the information about the Johnnies. What a game against Whitewater! Not exactly what many of us expected.
My pre-game prediction was: Johnnies 24 - Whitewater 21 OR Whitewater 24 - Johnnies 21. Not too bad for a non-expert. I haven’t made one for the River Falls game. [Editor’s Reaction: Actually that was a pretty good guess; I didn’t dare do one myself but, if I did, it would have been much like yours, because I just didn’t have a clue.]
I’m the sister who went with S. Lois, you and your delightful companion Chris to last year’s nail biter against Aurora. What an opening of the season game that turned out to be! My brother, Bill Kraft ’62, is as devoted a Johnnie fan as you (if that’s possible).
He has an idea about the MIAC conference he’d like to share with you. It’s too involved for me to explain. That’s why I copied this email to him. I hope that’s okay. I imagine the two of you will have much to talk about. Hope you and your family are well. Greet Chris. God bless! — S. Katherine
* * * *
From Conrad Macina, Landing, NJ, UUN humorologist —
Tommies in Danger —
A few years ago U$T football coach Glenn Caruso talked some well-heeled Tommie Football supporters into subsidizing a preseason trip for his team to Dublin to play some Irish semi-pro football squads to get ready for their hoped-for run as a top D-III power. A trip to a foreign country is allowed every three years, which in turn allows the D-III team extra practices and scrimmages.
After a couple days practicing the coach chartered a double-decker party bus to take his boys on a sight-seeing tour of Dublin, give them a rest and build a little camaraderie.
On the lower level of the bus, everyone's having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing.
The Tommies on the upper level, however, are in a panic. They're terrified: screaming and holding onto each other as the bus moves along.
Finally, someone from the lower level goes upstairs and asks what's wrong.
"What's wrong? Well, you're fine downstairs, but up here—there’s no driver!"
* * * *
From John Welsh ’79, St. Paul, MN —
Bob, Charlie Welsh ‘07, former quarterback and later football coach at SJU, coordinated and sold the new Sprinturf football field as well as the new baseball infield at St. John’s this year. Charlie now lives in Charleston, SC where Sprinturf headquarters are located, handled the Southeast as well as private schools in Minnesota. You can check out the new turf at Bethel, which is a Sprinturf field also. Best, — John
* *
From Gary Kordosky ’64, Tucson, AZ —
Thanks for the first UUN of 2022. As always I am very pleased with the low cost of a full season subscription especially considering inflation. I am looking forward to attending the homecoming game October 1 and I am hoping to make rounds of the many pregame activities. With luck it will be a beautiful fall day with leaves near their peak. Please give my best to Chris. — Gary
* *
From Fr. Kevin McDonough, pastor, Incarnation Parish, Minneapolis —
Roberto: Thanks so much for the first UUN of the year. Nice work as always!
I wanted to let you know that John Elton ’80 (who coached my brother Denis ’92 at SJU) lost both his parents in the last fifteen months. His dad, Rocky, died in Spring 2021, and his mom, Marian, this June. The family is gathering at Fort Snelling for a blessing of their shared headstone in a couple of weeks, and I will have the privilege of joining them. They were a great family at Saint Richard in Richfield, which is where we became friends several decades ago! Stay well! — Kevin
* *
From Pete Hill ’76, Fernandina Beach, FL —
Thanks, Rob. BTW, it looks like despite bringing in some high priced free agents, Ben Bartch ’20 has secured a starting position on the Jag’s O-line! — Pete
(Editor’s Clarification: That’s the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars Pete refers to.)
* * * *
From Tony Sandeen ’94, Hong Kong SAR —
Woke up happy today seeing the SJU score. Was the game closer than the score indicated? I noticed very little ground game on our part with the mighty Henry Trost held in check. Hope you're well, catch up soon Cheers, — Tony
* * * *
From Sue Johnson-Rodwell, wife of the late Joe Rodwell SJP ’60 —
I was over in River Falls last week visiting a friend and stopped at the post office to buy some stamps. There was a young UWRF co-ed shouting into an envelope. I asked, “What are you doing?” And Lady Falcon replied, “Sending a voice mail.”
* * * *
From Sister Lois Wedl, OSB ’53, St. Benedict’s Monastery —
Three Bobcats: CSB/SJU President Brian Bruess; Sister Lois Wedl; and Carol Bruess, wife of Brian. The thee of us received our Masters and Ph.D. from Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. Go BOBCATS!
* * * *
From Denny Bracco ’75, Oak Park, IL —
Wick, great game Saturday, and thanks for getting me back on the UUN list. [Editor’s Urgent Interjection: For some reason subscribers have been dropping from the mailing list, through no fault of moi, I might add. It’s all on Mailchimp. Please go to https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com
and resubscribe there. Tell your friends who are no longer getting the Underground News.] I was worried that you were phasing out obnoxious alums from Chicagoland such as yours truly, and so hope that there are a few of my Illini colleagues still subscribing.
If that includes such notables as Bob Walsh Jr. '81, and a terrific rugby player as was his son Bob III '08, then you have the start of a good following. And as proud Dad says, don't forget his 4th son Casey ‘16.
Casey is a two-time, back-to-back National Rugby Champion. Three-time Final 4 Elite 8. (And they would be the first to tell you, "It takes leather balls to play Rugby!"
So the question remains, if Whitewater loses at home Saturday against UMHB, does that, by the Transitive Rule in Mathematics, make SJU the #1 team in D-3? Only the Shadow knows for sure.
And to Alums everywhere, help recruit a future Johnnie Athlete from your area, regardless of which sport they play. The Johnnie Coaches appreciate the help and will follow up to see if they can play at this level. If they can't, they can still come as a student, wear Red at home games, and dress up like it's Halloween.
This is especially true to my fellow alums down here in Chicago. The Chicago Catholic League alone is a treasure trove of potential student-athletes, and I'm tired of seeing them go to other schools without considering SJU/CSB. Just sayin'...Go Johnnies! — Denny
* * * *
English Majors’ Department, Wordplay Division —
(Contributed by Chuck Garrity, Naples, FL)
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
4. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
5. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
6. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
7. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
8. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
9. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
10. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
* * * *
Quickie Reflection —
There was a certain speaker who began his seminar by holding up a £20 note. "Who would like this £20 bill?" he asked. Hands went up throughout the audience. He went on to say, "I am going to give this £20 to one of you, but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple up the bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" The same hands went up in the air.
Then he said, "What if I do this?" He dropped the £20 note on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Again, the same hands went up.
Then he smiled and said, "You have all learned a valuable lesson. No matter what I do to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth £20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value in God's eyes. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are priceless to him."
Deacon Patrick van der Vorst, studying for the priesthood in Great Britain. (Here’s his story: https://rcstortford.org.uk/2022/07/14/introducing-deacon-patrick-van-der-vorst/ )
* * * *
THE FINAL WORD
(Complements of Tommy Cebulla ’58, Andover, MN)
Corrective Surgery
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"
"Oh no!" cries the man. "My golfing days are over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.
"Just great," says the golfer. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon.
"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved. I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."
"That's unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"
"Well, just two," said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache."
* * * *
Issue #2 is a wrap. Thought it would never get out. Be respectful of individuals but really just laugh at life…and remember to holler —
GO JOHNNIES ! !
Fricassee the Falcons (or something like that)
* * * *
Sincerely submitted,
R.L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64,
You can call me Rob, you can call me Bob, you can call me Theo or Wick…and my personal pronouns are “he a Johnnie” and “him a Johnnie.”
St. Paul, MN; 651-699-4697
theowick@aol.com
https://www.unofficialundergroundnews.com
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