Good Eatin' leads to Happy Games (UUN #9-21)
Dear Faithful Subscribers —
In case you hadn’t heard, St. John’s dispatched a determined but over-matched St. Olaf College team 56-0 before a larger-than-expected (by me, anyway) crowd of nearly 9,000! Well, it was Family Weekend and it was yet another beautiful day in Central Minnesota, and — as you’ll see elsewhere in this issue — the tailgating phenomenon continues to draw both contributors and visitors.
Looking at the score one might assume that we are an offensive juggernaut…and we kind of are, especially when you consider that Gary and the coaches are slowing things up very soon in the games — we’re rightly taking pains not to show up our brother MIAC teams. But to me the big story continues to be our defense. This was our third straight shutout and you just can’t be impressed enough with this accomplishment given how difficult it is to keep today’s offenses from scoring at least something.
St. Olaf is not exactly chopped liver…they are middle-of-the-conference productive and will end up in the final standings over Carleton, Macalester, Hamline and St. Scholastica, and just behind Augsburg and Concordia. And yet we blanked them as we did Concordia and Augsburg earlier. In the first half, against our A team, the Oles were allowed only one first down while we had 19 FDs and a 35-0 lead. I believe they had only a dozen first downs for the entire game, primarily against our 2nd and 3rd strings. In fact, the most suspense of the game came in the closing minutes when everyone still there was waiting to see if the 3rd stringers could hold the shutout. With the Oles at our door we held them two sets of downs around the 5-yard line.
Senior linebacker #48 Seth Morem is one of the stalwarts of the vaunted Johnnie defense. So far this year Seth has produced 28 tackles, 4-1/2 sacks and 3 quarterback hurries. He is featured in a story by Frank Rajkowski found at this link: https://gojohnnies.com/news/2021/10/21/football-st-cloud-orthopedics-feature-after-hitting-the-road-morem-now-back-home-on-sjus-defensive-line.aspx
The Oles’ starting quarterback was fairly ineffective the few times he threw (5 for 8); their leading receiver only was 3 for 39. And their main running back was 10 for 43. Just masterful defense. Their second string quarterback was even less productive; in fact he just seemed content to throw the ball in the general direction of his receivers, going 5 for 18, even when he had some time.
I have to say this about the Oles. They were gamers — both the team and their numerous fans. Even in the face of disruption and disappointment, like when they fumbled the opening kickoff and we recovered fairly deep in their territory to score quickly, they were loud and enthusiastic, giving encouragement for every good tackle, completed pass, first down, and the like. One of their biggest cheers by both fans and team came when the Ole defense held us on a 4th and short…and the score was already way out of control. I liked their attitude, their heart, their support of each other.
I feel sorry for many of our first stringers; they are good enough to climb in the record books but are always taken out early. For instance, senior #5 Henry Trost scored another three TDs Saturday and was out for virtually all the second half. Hank's 30 career touchdowns (25 rushing, five receiving) so far are five behind Mike Lofboom (2003-06) in 10th all-time. The same for senior #3 Ravi Alston who just missed his ninth career 100-yard game with five catches for 98 yards. Nonetheless Ravi passed Dave Arnold (1969-71) for 10th in program history with 120 receptions. Sophomore quarterback #6 Aaron Syverson threw for 257 yards and three touchdowns – two of them to junior tight end #83 Alex Larson. The Johnnies finished with 520 yards of total offense, outgaining the Oles 301-28 over the first two quarters. And you know what else? Only four penalties for 45 yards by the Johnnies…what a satisfying improvement.
QB #6 Aaron Syverson hands off to #5 Henry Trost at the start of another positive run against the out-gunned Oles. Although he had only ten carries for 46 yards, virtually the same as St. Olaf leading running back, Henry had three TDs while his competitor had none. Go here for more information and box score on the St. Olaf game: https://gojohnnies.com/news/2021/10/16/football-fifth-ranked-johnnies-post-third-straight-shutout-56-0.aspx
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SJU 2021 Football Schedule
(All games are played on Saturdays, beginning at 1 pm)
Date Opponent Location
Sep. 4 Aurora Collegeville W 39-33
Sep. 11 Bye
Sep. 18 Martin Luther Collegeville W 55-7
Sep. 25 Bethel Collegeville W 31-25
Oct. 2 Concordia Moorhead, MN W 49-0
Oct. 9 Augsburg Collegeville W 50-0
Oct. 16 St. Olaf* Collegeville W 56-0
Oct. 23 Gustavus* St. Peter, MN
Oct. 30 St. Scholastica* Collegeville
Nov. 6 Carleton* Northfield, MN
Nov. 13 MIAC Championship Week TBD
(* With St. John’s, these teams are also part of the MIAC’s new Northwoods Division.)
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MIAC Standings
MIAC All
Northwoods Division
St. John’s 4-0 6-0
Carleton 3-1 5-1
Gustavus 3-1 5-1
St. Olaf 2-2 3-3
St. Scholastica 0-4 0-4
Skyline Division
Bethel 3-1 5-1
Augsburg 3-1 3-3
Concordia 1-3 2-4
Hamline 1-3 3-3
Macalester 0-4 1-5
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AROUND THE MIAC —
8th Week, Saturday, October 23
Concordia at Carleton — If it’s closer than Cobbers 28-Knights 15, Concordia has some big problems.
Hamline at Augsburg— The Auggies, when not playing us, seem to score big. I see them over the Pipers 44-27.
Macalester at Bethel — Maybe Bethel will show some charity to visiting Mac, but even with that it’s probably 56-13.
St. Scholastica at St. Olaf — The Oles will roll over the hapless Saints 46-10.
St. John’s at Gustavus — Okay, I know our guys want to do it, so let’s say they will: 42-Zip.
Other Games of Interest:
St. Thomas — Enjoys a bye week.
Aurora plays St. Norbert and should win fairly big, probably closer to last week’s rather than in the 70s.
#1 North Central is running amok amongst their outclassed competition. See this link for the scores of their games thus far; obviously the coach is not showing Gary’s restraint: https://northcentralcardinals.com/sports/football/schedule/2021
By the way, #4 Mount Union has shut out their competition three games in a row too: https://athletics.mountunion.edu/sports/football/schedule/2021
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D3Football Top 25 —
Week 7 shows no change in the Top 10. UW-La Crosse drops from #11 to #14 after a too close win, and Bethel went up one to #15. Nobody dropped out of the Top 25 this week. Gustavus is no longer receiving any points and Aurora is receiving fewer.
https://www.d3football.com/top25/2021/week7
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Last Week’s Results —
7th Week, Saturday, Oct. 16
Bethel at Concordia — Poor Concordia has fallen on such hard times; the Royals 38-13, but maybe worse. Actually, Bethel 21-16 but that’s closer than I thought, so good for the Cobbers.
Macalester at Augsburg — The Auggies have something to prove, to themselves at least. Augsburg will prevail mightily against Mac to the tune of 44 to 10. Actually, Augsburg gave up nearly three times the points I thought they would in winning 37-29.
Hamline at Gustavus — Gusties 60-14 …IF they happen to show mercy. Actually, the Gusties only won by 33-21…terrible! They must have been looking ahead to their game with us this upcoming weekend.
Carleton at St. Scholastica — Carleton gets back on track with a gimme, 48-16. Actually, Carleton only won by 30-14.
St. Olaf at St. John’s — Watch for a fast take-off and maybe a gentle landing, 52-0. (40-0 in the first half.) Actually, the Jays were only ahead 35-0 at the half before finishing up 56-0.
Other Games of Interest:
UST flies to Stetson University, DeLand, FL (located roughly halfway between Orlando and Daytona Beach, Florida.) Expect the Tommies to beef up their game. Actually, they did, shellacking Stetson 38-7.
(From Larry Haeg ’63/’67: 1,169 in the stands yesterday in 6,000 capacity Spec Martin municipal stadium in DeLand, Florida to watch Tommies beat Stetson. Average Johnnie attendance for five home games this year: 8,409. Average Tommie attendance for two home games this year: 6,247.)
After three weeks of winning by identical 70 points, I’m pretty curious to see how Aurora will do against another patsy, Eureka College. Actually Aurora had to squeak by at only 49-7. Damn! They’re losing their mojo. Either that or the bye week cost them the Big Mo.
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Johnnie Radio Network —
Saturday’s game can be heard live on WBHR-660 AM across central Minnesota, KDIZ-1570 AM in the Twin Cities and KOWZ-1170 AM in Waseca, which covers most of southern Minnesota and into western Wisconsin. Mark Lewandowski, Bryan Backes, Mike Carr and Charlie Carr will call all the action, beginning with Johnnies Magazine at 11 a.m. and the pre-game show at 11:30 a.m. The game will also be broadcast on the SJU football website via Stretch Internet. This is the 23rd season SJU football can be heard worldwide over the internet.
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Listening via the Internet: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/csbsju/
Viewing via live streaming: https://portal.stretchinternet.com/gac/
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All About Gustavus —
Before the season and for the first couple of games, especially when Gustavus upset the then #5-ranked Wartburg 27-18, after creaming Buena Vista 80-58, I thought that the Gusties were going to be our toughest game, perhaps even more so than Bethel. This was because of Gustie senior quarterback Michael Veldman—he’s the real thing...when he’s healthy. And also because, at the time, our secondary seemed so shaky and inexperienced. But guess what? Veldman is hurt yet again. He went down in the Concordia game, which the Gusties still won 36-21. He already has been awarded TWO medical red shirts for previous season-ending injuries and last year yet another year of COVID eligibility. Since he’s been gone this season GAC beat St. Scholastica 72-7, but lost to Bethel 34-9 and didn’t look convincing in defeating lowly Hamline 33-21.
The sum total of all this is: (1) GAC is tied with Bethel for second place with identical 5-1 overall, 3-1 MIAC records, so they still are one of the better teams in the conference and we need to approach them with respect and great concentration; but (2) I don’t see them beating us. In fact — and I hope I don’t jinx things by even thinking this — I can see us shutting them out if we continue playing defense like we have lately. We have to go into their stadium and unleash our patented “shock and awe” offense. That lets our Dee boys just tee off on them.
Don’t get me wrong…the Gusties still have some fine talent. On paper this should be the match-up of the season. Why? In the MIAC SJU is ranked #1 in Scoring Offense and GAC is #2. In Total Offense GAC is #1 and SJU is #2. In Rushing GAC is #1 and SJU is #2. And finally, in Rushing Defense SJU is #2 and GAC is #3. Gustavus is our only real challenge for supremacy in the MIAC’s tricked out “divisional” play; they are 1-0 in our Northwoods Division (as are we), so we have to beat them to move on to the next playoff plateau.
Veldman’s successor is #14 sophomore Jake Breitback (6’2”, 200 lbs.); he was no doubt thrown into the driver’s seat before he was properly seasoned, but that’s the life of a quarterback sometimes. He seems to be a so-so passer (maybe 50%) but apparently he’s a helluva threat as a runner. GAC’s best running back is another sophomore #22 Rohee Konde (6’, 200 lbs.), and they have a pair of very experienced receivers: #29 senior WR Dalton Thelen and #5 senior TE Ethan Sindelir. So, if young Breitback can follow through on their game plan, the Gusties have lots of assets to bring against us. Defensively, the best man by production is #7 junior linebacker Isaak Knutson. Oh, and they have a very capable punting and kicking tandem. So I can see why Gustavus was doing all their preseason trash talking about “taking us down” this year. Too bad about Veldman…but maybe he’ll come back for an eighth season. Or the other hand, I don’t know for sure that Veldman’s out for the season…so what if he comes back for this game?!? If he’s unable to play, I’m going out on a limb and suggesting that we win 42-0. If he’s able, then I’ll give GAC a couple TDs.
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The Continental Gusties —
A non-English speaking tourist from Switzerland interested in seeing Gustavus Adolphus College drove by the football field just as practice was ending. He saw two players by the side of the road and stopped to ask them how to find the visitor’s office.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asked.
The two Gusties just stared at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tried. The two continued to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?"
Other than a glance at each other, there was still no response.
"Hablan ustedes Español?"
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy gave up and drove off, extremely disgusted. When he was gone, the first Gustie player turned to the second and said, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?" the other replied. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
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NOTE: Pregame Activity For Gustavus —
Johnnie alums, parents, supporters et al are well-known throughout the MIAC as being good travelers, especially for important games. This Saturday will be no exception. We expect, due to a cool but stellar day in St. Peter and a game with playoff significance, to have a fine, large and loud group in the stands and around the grassy berm. In past years, going way back, the pregame meeting place has been Patrick’s, a bar and grill downtown. For a couple of Gustavus games in St. Peter we tried a nice BBQ restaurant, formerly owned by a deceased Johnnie, now called the 3rd Street Tavern. This year there’s a new wrinkle:
1. The Mankato CSB-SJU Alumni Chapter is hosting a pregame celebration before the Gustavus game on Oct. 23 at Minnesota Wing King, 43539 French Hill Road, Saint Peter, MN 56082 (across the Minnesota River on Broadway about 3/4 mile or so). They are opening early for us and will have a Johnnie-Bennie pregame lunch special. Here is the sign-up link so the proprietor can get a head count:
2. Tom and Katie [Brand] Riitters (both ’96) are bringing the “Original” SJU Tailgaters’ tent to GAC on Saturday. They have a son who is a Gustie and they want to show the Gustavus people how Johnnies tailgate. They’ll set up in the grassy area by the College View Apartments. Tom’s having a shrimp boil. BYOB and something to share.
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The Reel 2021 - Game #6, St. Olaf Highlights —
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYf0R-VVv00
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Johnnie Question of the Week, Season 3, Episode 6 —
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAIa0jX9PYo
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The Gustie’s Road Test —
A Gustavus sophomore co-ed is taking the driving portion of her driver's license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite well. She has a little trouble parallel parking, however, and winds up a couple of feet from the curb.
"Could you get a little closer?" the examiner says.
The Gustie then unbuckles her seat belt and slides over toward the examiner.
"Now what?” she asks.
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The Uncasual Fan —
One sentence summary — “very business like” — is how I would frame the Family Weekend game vs St. Olaf this past Saturday afternoon.
On paper this was a pretty straight forward game that SJU should win handily and put some points on the board while getting it done.
Alumni and family members alike were hoping that we would put a good number on the scoreboard by halftime and then get to see some extended playing time for people on the 2nd and 3rd team and that’s basically what happened. SJU played very well on both sides of the ball and both the offensive and defensive lines dominated the game.
Sometimes it’s a fine line to not play down to the caliber of opponent you may be facing and then not run up the score when you are on a roll and the other team is struggling.
Game Summary
The Good:
* St. John’s showing up with their A game (offense/defense/special teams)
* The 3rd shut out in a row
The Bad:
* Nothing that I could see
The Ugly:
* The student section not sticking around in the second half. This is getting borderline ridiculous from my perspective. Leaving early on Family Weekend is pathetic. Maybe we should just close the game to students and let them stay at the tailgate gathering and let Mom and Dad or friends carry them back to their room after the game.
Part II
We continue to see and hear about what good citizens and young men the members of the SJU football team are. I got to experience a little of that firsthand after the game on Saturday. My 8-year-old grandson, Jack, attended the St. Olaf game with me and could not wait to get on the field after the game. After spending most of the game in the end zone behind the goal posts playing with other likeminded boys and girls he ran onto the field in search of a high five from one of the players. Jack was a little shy at first and was trying to find someone who would kind of figure out what he was looking for.
Out of nowhere came #97 Sam Willmott, junior Defensive Lineman from Rosemount. He noticed my grandson and walked over and knelt beside him, handed him his helmet to look at and just started talking to him. He could have just walked right by him to see friends and family but here he was taking the time to talk to a little guy. When people ask me what makes St. John’s football different from other football teams I have another example to tell them about. Here is a picture of Sam and my grandson below:
A very happy Jack and a benevolent Sam. Pretty good chance Jack will be a Johnnie some day, starting with very pleasant memories.
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A Quick Tour of the MIAC —
(Contributed by Dick Virden ’63)
A young Carleton student entered a pet shop in downtown Northfield to ask about buying a gold fish. The salesperson ask if he needed an aquarium. His impatient reply was, "I don't care what sign it is.
Why do Macalester fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on
Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
What does the average St. Scholastica player get on his SATs?
Drool.
How many Gustavus freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?None. That's a sophomore course.
How did the Bethel football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
Two St. Olaf students were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
What do you say to an Augsburg University football player dressed in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise."
How can you tell if a Concordia football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
How is the Hamline football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
How do you get a former University of St. Thomas football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
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The Man With A Bad Virus —
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone next to his bed rings.
"This is your doctor. We've had the results back from your tests and we've found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!"
"Oh my gosh," cries the man. He's in a panic now. "What are you going to do, doctor?"
"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread."
"Will that cure me?" asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, "Well no, but ... it's the only food we can get under the door.”
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Scenes From The St. Olaf Game Tailgate —
Enjoying a bit of a family reunion up at St. John’s are some Yousos, all originally from Foley, MN. L-R, dad and grandpa Ron Youso ’64, granddaughter Kathryn Stone (visiting from Charleston, SC), her mother Jill (Youso) Stone SJP ’90, and Lynn (Youso) Bormann SJP ’86.
Three St. John’s Prep School friends from the Class of 1961 enjoy some tailgate camaraderie, celebrating the arrival on campus of Joe Ness (right) of Bradenton, FL, who was visiting his brother, Fr. Bernie Ness OSB, in the Abbey’s care center. With him are (l) John Sipe ’61/’65 and Bill Marrin ’61/’65. Fr. Bernie came to St. John’s to retire after his own monastery, Blue Cloud Abbey in South Dakota, closed. He spent 42 incredibly fruitful years working with poverty-stricken indigenous people in rural Guatemala as a missionary priest.
Quite proud of their fire pit, the first of many now found around the tailgate area, are (from right to left this time to confuse our readers more) Cindy Fasching, wife of Gary ’81; her brother-in-law Blake Begnaud; her son Ryan Sufka ’08, his wife Michelle [Melsen] ’08, and their daughter CeCe.
Not to be outdone by the Fasching Fire, these unidentified SJU-CSB partiers have upped the flame game with an above-ground model.
Shown enjoying the weather and tailgate goodies are (L-R) recent grad Jack Wozniak ’18; his aunt Colleen Lilly ’81; Karen Backes ’87, director of admissions for CSB/SJU and mother to senior quarterback Chris Backes ’21; behind her is friend Mark Aarburg; Mary [Lilly] Wozniak ’87 and Joe Wozniak…together they are parents to junior defensive lineman Michael Wozniak ’22.
When one is tired of eating, drinking, and conversation, there’s always the SJU branded corn hole toss game to while away the time before the game starts.
Table decorations always class up the tailgate ambiance.
Wow! A tailgate with an address. You can only find these gems at the SJU pregame bash.
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Odds & Ends —
Splish-Splashing Around
(Contributed by John McGuire ’77, Minneapolis, MN)
Fifty years ago, SJU kept losing the George Durenburger All- Around All- Conference Sports trophy to St. Thomas. The Tommies had a swim team and the Johnnies did not. But, if SJU had a swim team, and scored at least one point in conference, the Johnnies would win the Durenburger trophy. Thus, 50 years ago the administration allotted $500 to fund a student-run SJU Swim team began in an attempt to snag the Durenburger from the Tommies.
I was a freshman in ’73-’74 and Pat Haws ’72 was the first coach. Pat did not swim and had never coached swimming before. It didn’t matter. I/ we, the swimmers wrote workouts on the board. We drove to Rocori High in Cold Spring until the SJU Palaestra pool was completed about January 1 of ’74. The conference meet was held at SJU in ‘74. Our SJU team took third in conference, only 7 1/2 points out of second place. The highest place finishers were Clarence McCarthy ’76 in the 1650 freestyle and John Maguire ’77 in the 400 individual medley, both of whom notched third and were school records. Two SJU relays also took thirds in conference, both school records. The 800 freestyle relay quartet was Tim Raths ’76, John Maguire, Bill Flynn ’77 and Jeremy Raths ’75. The 400 freestyle relay bunch was Tom Dwyer ’77, Flynn, Raths and Raths. Get wet. And ohhhh yahhhh, the Johnnies won the Durenburger Trophy in 1974.
50th SJU Alumni Swim Reunion L-R. Steve Stromme ’76, Mark Tracy ’78, Mary Ann Haws ’73, Tom Scanlan ’78, John Maguire ’77, Pat Haws ‘72- first swim coach, Tom Dwyer ’77, John Speltz ’77, Bill Flynn ’77.
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Ben Bartch Out After Being Evaluated For Concussion
(Source: Pete Hill ’77, Fernandina Beach, FL)
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Ben Bartch: Servant Leader
https://www.bigcatcountry.com/2021/10/21/22733865/servant-leadership-how-the-jaguars-and-ol-ben-bartch-create-change-through-giving-back
(Source: Colleen Lilly ’81, Edina, MN)
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Leon “Lee” Cook SJP ’57/SJU ’61 Dies
A great guy, a terrific Johnnie, a most impressive obituary:
https://www.bemidjipioneer.com/obituaries/obits/7240119-Leon-“Lee”-Cook
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CSB’s Fiona Smith Does It Again
For the fifth time this season, Fiona Smith ’24 – a sophomore on the College of Saint Benedict cross country team, earned MIAC Athlete of the Week honors after another dominating performance. She is the first athlete in program history to earn five Athlete of the Week honors in a career, let alone in a single season.
Fiona's latest weekly accolade comes after another record-breaking performance in Oregon against top competition. She finished fourth at the Lewis & Clark Invite in a field that included competition from NCAA Division I and III as well as NAIA competitors, including Oregon and Oregon State.
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CSB/SJU Students Demand Action After Allegation of ‘Sex Competition’ Among St. John’s Students
About 400 Johnnie and Bennie students outside the “Reef” Thursday afternoon, missing class to show solidarity and demand action from administration after allegations of a 'sex competition' among some several student residents of the first and second floors of St. Patrick Hall allegedly competed "to see who could sleep with the most females" at the College of St. Benedict.
The colleges said in an email to students Tuesday that they have hired an external investigator to collect information about the matter. The schools said: “Violence or sexual assault against any student will not be tolerated and will be investigated thoroughly through our sexual misconduct policy. These cases may also be reported to local law enforcement for possible criminal charges. We are committed to creating and maintaining an environment in which all members of the community are aware of and respect the rights and human dignity of every other member.”
One student leader from St. Ben’s said at the demonstration that these allegations reflect a history of toxic masculinity and complacency at St. John’s and St. Ben’s. "Some Johnnies allow their peers and friends to get away with these actions because it has nothing to do with them," she said, which was met with cheers from the crowd. "Bennies have talked about how scared they feel walking alone at St. John's University. Listen to these stories. Some of you might have these same thoughts as well."
(Editor’s Note: I received the following email from Thom Woodward ’70 just as I was going to “press” with this issue. I’m very pleased to include Thom’s remarks to accompany the above disappointing news.)
To the Editor of The Record:
Saint John’s University students need to be held accountable for their words and actions. That’s what I tell Johnnie baseball players when they utter an F-bomb audible in the stands or fail to sprint to first base where their lack of effort is visible to every fan. Those offenses irk me.
The sex game played by a number of SJU students is immeasurably worse than cursing and jogging. The students in Patrick Hall have totally disregarded Saint John’s reputation with unguided, selfish indulgences. Their offense embarrasses, disappoints and wounds me and all SJU alumni.
The Hon. H.C. Waite, among Saint John’s first graduates, gave us the words to live by in his commencement address of 1882. All Johnnies particularly need to heed his directive published in a SJU history covering 1857-1907.
“Let your attendance here never bring reproach upon the institution,” he told the graduates. “Look back to her [SJU] as a foster mother and extend to her that consideration she has so bountifully extended to you. Protect the reputation of the institution you have assisted in making and when you go hence, go forth bravely, boldly and wisely to your tasks.”
I subtly echoed his caution with the SJU #1 logo that I designed 100-plus years later. My message was never loud enough or clear enough.
Yes, Johnnie teams want to be number one, want to be the best. I was suggesting something more essential: Strive to be number one in all we do, in the classroom as well as in athletics. Be the best one son, best husband, best father. Be the best employer, employee, citizen. Be a number one human being. And don’t embarrass your mother.
The pressure is on for all of us affiliated with Saint John’s not only to protect a reputation but repair it in all we do.
Respectfully submitted,
Thom “Woody” Woodward, SJU Class of 1970, Retired director of SJU alumni relations, Volunteer assistant baseball coach .
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Admissions Department: The REAL College Plan —
College is really just kidnapping done backwards...
If you don’t give us a ridiculously large amount of money, we’ll send you your child back!
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Battle Between the Sexes, Genesis Version —
Women have always been overly suspicious of their husbands. Back in the day, Adam liked to stay out very late some nights and enjoy peace and quiet alone. But that made Eve upset.
“You’re running around with other women,” she told her mate.
“Eve, honey, you’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You know you’re the only woman on earth.”
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.
“Counting your ribs!” said Eve.
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St. John’s Tailgate: An Oasis of Culinary Delights —
Whatever happened to grilled hamburgers and brats? Aren’t they still synonymous with tailgate fare? Well, yes and no. While you can still find a lot of these traditional foods, a stroll through the most recent tailgate celebration shows that many participants are upping their game. Thanks go to Chris Scholl and John Sipe for contributing the following photos.
Steve Parton and Jill Bartz, neighbors to Harry Burns ’74/’78 (right) on Pearl Lake, Stearns County, are supporters of Johnnie football and purveyors of good food. Here they show asparagus wrapped in roast beef, and a kabob of spiced venison sausage with vegetables.
Bill Kozlak ’91, proprietor of the iconic Jax Restaurant in northeast Minneapolis, classed up his table with beef sirloin on grilled baguettes with a homemade creamy horseradish sauce, and terrific meatballs. Kind of wonder if he’ll bring a version of his restaurant’s catch-your-own trout stream next tailgate.
(L-R) Libby Auger, mother of former tight end Tommy ’19; her neighbor in St. Joe, Cindy Fasching; and Todd Westby, father of former defensive back Sam ’19, all combined to bring homemade baked goods, chili, chicken Alfredo and mac ’n cheese to the grateful masses.
1987 Classmates and former players Billy Kauffmann and Doug Imholte offer their special chili and cornbread combo to passersby.
Unfortunately we don’t have the name of this enterprising breakfast chef grilling up piles of bacon, hash browns and pancakes.
Jeff Fike (or at least a portion of him) is shown preparing his patented multiple shot pourer of a healthful elixir. Jeff is father to two Johnnie offensive linemen — senior Jarod ‘21 and freshman Mason ‘25.
Ahhh, always the "bloodys".
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The Close Shave —
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball.
The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."
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From Our Readers —
From Wayne Hergott ’57, Edina, MN —
Bob, Thank you for another great issue of the Underground. I'm pleased to finally be reinserted into the email list. Your work is very good and very much appreciated by many.
I was disturbed after reading Pat Reusse's Oct. 14th StarTribune article (St. Thomas football more competitive than the league it left behind). Reusse's theme is that after being bounced from the conference, UST is in better condition than the MIAC. I cannot intelligently comment on the condition of UST. However, in spite of my disappointment in reading it, I must agree with Reusse's conclusion that the MIAC weakened itself by bouncing UST and adding St. Scholastica and Macalester.
I also agree with Reusse's criticism of the new two division structure and its playoff setup with the top team in each division playing to determine the conference champion. SJU has already beaten the only conference team which gave it a challenging game and it is likely to finish the regular season undefeated. Then it will play the top team in the other division, almost assuredly Bethel, to determine the conference champ. If Bethel should win that playoff game, it would be conference champ and most likely would proceed to the playoffs. If only one MIAC team is invited, the best team in the conference stays home. That's a crazy, illogical but possible result. Better that the conference not have divisions and the team with the best record at the end of the regular season be the conference champ. — Wayne
(Bob, A post game PS to my earlier comment on the Underground. I'm very, very disappointed with the way the SJU Mens Choir presented the Alma Mater and Fight Song. They blistered them. What a shame. Stop it.)
(Editor’s Reply: The simplest, yet most elegant solution is to kick their behinds another time, something I think we can do with even greater efficiency than before because we are improving with each game. And a tougher game before the playoffs would provide suitable preparation for the challenges of those ensuing games. However, even if Bethel would happen to beat us for the MIAC Championship, SJU would almost assuredly get one of the few at-large spots.
Re your postscript about the Men’s Chorus, I couldn’t agree more; it was gawdawful; at first Chris thought it must have been a microphone malfunction; her suggestion is for the lyrics of both songs to be scrolled across the video board and request that all fans sing along loudly, the right way; same with the National Anthem…)
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From Anonymous, St. Paul, MN —
Bob -- I'm curious to know what feedback you've gotten on the Johnnie Mens Choral group doing our school songs before the Ole game. I was embarrassed at their performance of those jazzed-up renditions. It was bad, really bad. And to imagine the impression on those Ole fans across the field--they who are used to the highest quality choral music. It was embarrassing. We need Axel to come back from retirement and get that mess cleaned up. But what are others saying?
(Editor’s Invitation: Readers who experienced the choristers’ new renditions, please feel free to comment one way or the other.)
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From Gary Kordosky ’64, Tucson, AZ —
Thanks for UUN #8-21. As always you have brightened my day and at the same time kicked in my urge to see a home SJU football game. I will have to make attending at least one home game a year a much higher priority than it has been. My very best to you and Chris. — Gary
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From Henry Gallagher ’61, Washington, DC —
Good pick on the St. Olaf score. Have you ever thought about taking your 'pick 'em' skill set national? Hank
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From Ron Tomczik ’65, Medicine Lake, MN —
Bob: After Saturday's game I congratulated Coach Gary Fasching and players on another shutout. I mentioned to Gary that it was amazing that SJU could produce 3 shutouts in a row after having to replace 7 of 11 Defensive starters. Coach Fasching corrected me by saying that there were really 10 new Defensive starters. This fact just makes it that more amazing how our coaches have identified/taught/coached to "fill the holes.” Our Defense and kicking game have certainly developed/improved during this season. Combine that with four new O-Lineman and new quarterback, this team and coaches have certainly earned kudos.
A common theme from our coaches and players is how they have a National Goal. They realize it is one game at a time--and they must continue to improve, because the quality of the competition will eventually really increase--starting with Gustavus. But as Gary said--"we just have to keep it going.”
Saturday's large Tailgating crowd was full of fans just excited to be a part of another wonderful SJU experience on a beautiful Fall Saturday. And the Defense, late in the 4th quarter, holding on for another shutout was a definite crowd pleaser as well as exciting for the players and coaches.
After the game, we celebrated the victory at the La, with many friends and extended family. This year I have three grandchildren attending CSB/SJU--including Joe who was on the game ROTC Flag Honor Guard. It was a great ending to a wonderful day. Go Johnnies! — Ron
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From Kathleen Ziegler (wife of Frank ’62), Lino Lakes, MN —
I was with Rosie Murphy today and she said her husband Phil (’62), in Medelia, would like to get your newsletter again. They changed e-mails. He’s coming to the game Saturday. Thanks, — Mrs. Ziggy
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From Phil Murphy ’62, Madelia, MN —
As Kathy Ziegler wrote to you, I would like to be added back to your mailing list for the Underground Newsletter. One of my HS buddies from Madelia is Maynard Kelsey. He says he’s acquainted with you .Thanks for your hard work. — Phil
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From Conrad Macina, Contributing UUN Humorologist, Landing, NJ —
Congrats on a very successful Johnnie season, with more to come, and congrats (again) on your eerily prescient predictions!
A Gustavus football player asked his math professor, "Do you have any kids?"
"Yes, I have one child that's just under two."
The Gustie said, "I might not be a top student, but I know how many one is."
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From Vic Murphy ’92, St. Paul, MN —
The story you shared from Jeff Norman was amazing and the picture of his dad's wallet brought me to tears. What a great testament of a father's love for his son. So fortunate that I've been able to become friends with him. Hoping I can be as honorable and humble as him. — Vic* * * *
From Fred Senn ’64, Edina, MN —
Postscript to the St. Olaf game: As it turns out, St. Olaf is oner of ours. Pope Alexander III confirmed Olaf's local canonization in 1164, making him a universally recognized saint of the Roman Catholic Church and started to be known as Rex Perpetuus Norvegiae — eternal king of Norway. He became an equally important saint of the Eastern Orthodox Church (feast day 29 July) and one of the last famous saints before the Great Schism. Following the Reformation he was a commemorated historical figure among some members of the Lutheran and Anglican Communions.
(Editor’s Note: All the pastors and parishioners of St. Olaf Catholic Church in downtown Minneapolis since 1941 will be so relieved to learn this.)
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From Tommy Cebulla ’58, Andover, MN —
I was never, ever, able to dance anything like this. Ever. Where is the fairness? Watch this. I don't think it will be too much longer before robots will replace many jobs. God bless you. — Tommy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn3KWM1kuAw (2:54 min)
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From John Krueger ’70, Richmond, MN —
Bob, I thought your readers would want to know of the passing of Rich Froehle [SJP ’61/SJU ’65], an SJU All American in 1964. Rich was an unassuming humble man who was one of St. John’s best running backs and helped the Johnnies win the National Championship in 1963.
I knew Rich as a youth counselor at The St. Cloud Children’s Home. His quiet demeanor had a very calming effect on the youth. Rich later worked at SJU for many years before his retirement. Rich and his wife Eileen [Sullivan’66] lived in the Cold Spring area and were neighbors to Dave Griffin ’68, another SJU All American from that era. Rich will be missed. — John
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From John Diffley ’64, Stewartville, MN —
Bob, I just read Rich Froehle’s obituary in the StarTrib. He was one of my brother Tom’s favorites. Condolences to all of you who go back to even Prep School days with Rich. Talk about a full-throttle athlete! There is an unbelievable action photo of Rich in a hockey game in the ‘63 Sagatagan that captures the essence of his athleticism. If l recall correctly, Rich garnered some kind words from Austin Murphy in his “Sweet Season”. I can still see him making his presence known, along with the other players, in that Prairie View game. Interestingly enough, the athletic skills which Rich had almost fade when compared to his other talents and attributes...all wrapped in an unbelievable humility. Thanks for your tireless production of the UUN. — John
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From Bob Neis ’65, St. Louis Park, MN —
Rich Froehle, a great on the football field and a great person! What a humble obit. Did not even mention his athletic greatness.
https://www.sctimes.com/obituaries/sct067476
(Editor’s Note: Rich was a terrific, fearless, gifted athlete both in Prep School and in College, where he starred in football, hockey, and track as a pole vaulter. He was a football All-American in 1963.)
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From Jeff Norman ’78, New Brighton, MN —
Bob, Just like Johnnie football, the UUN gets better every year!
I showed the UUN to a friend who hadn’t seen it before, told him it goes out to almost 3,000 people every week during the football season. He said, “WOW, it must really connect a lot of people and really promote Johnnie football.” Perfectly said....Thanks Bob! — Jeff
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From John Chromy ’64, Washington, DC —
Bob--I noted your clear and passionate statement in the last UUN, referencing a letter from the coaches, athletic director and football team members, published in the schools' newspaper, The Record , indicating that it is unacceptable for the students to rush onto the playing field at the end of victorious games. Here are some thoughts:
1) We are battling against a trend in modern sports, college and professional. We see it all the time, students and fans at many of the big reputation universities, rush on the field to celebrate despite public address pleas and in many cases a ring of rented security. The same is true in professional sports after big victories. In fact the television broadcasts spend a good deal of time featuring the rush of excitement and the melee of congratulations by fans, press, coaches & the two teams and various team "hanger-ons". When a team wins the pennant, or even a division play-off series, or even a "baseball wild card play-off game"----many fans pour out onto the field---only the heavy deployment of a ring of security people/police keeps it from becoming a complete tamasha.
So, like it or not, it is becoming more and more part of what the promoters entitle, "the whole game experience". I am not saying it is right, in fact I despise it and never participate in such nonsense, but I can tell you that when Texas A&M beats Alabama part of the reason 20,000 students are in the stands for the whole game is the excitement of the post-game rush onto the field and congratulating/intermingling with the players.
2) In recent years, on several occasions the UUN has bemoaned the minimal attendance of Bennie/Johnnie students at the games and the often drifting off in the second half of many who had attended at the start of the game, particularly when SJU is winning handily over some of the less capable MIAC teams. From the students point of view, what is the reason to stay to the end?
3) One solution: At the University of Maryland the football program has a tradition of the entire team, at the conclusion of the game (win or lose) trots over to the student section of the stadium and mingles for about ten minutes with the students in attendance. Key players go into the stands led by the captains and after about ten minutes it is brought to an end by the team members, cheerleaders and the band play/singing the Alma Mater together.
This seems to work---it keeps the interest of the students and keeps them off the field because they know the team is coming to them. In fact both the team members and the students are proud of these moments .
Whether it would work if Maryland ever had a "gigantic" win over Ohio State or Penn State or Michigan remains to be seen.
4) A similar tradition exists in the military academy games. However, in those cases both teams go together to visit each student section and sing the alma mater, first to the victor and then the losing side.
The "team coming over to the student section after the game" model may have some merit. It only takes ten minutes, and brings together the players and their fellow students, builds "alma mater" spirit and still allows the players to visit with their families and hometown fans on the field after the game. I leave it in your good hands. — John
(Editor’s Comment: I don’t know about any of that — it’s all above the UUN’s pay grade. All I know is that for the past two games none of the three problems noted in The Record have been repeated: messing with the National Anthem, kicking over the plastic fences, or rushing the field. I was talking with some recent Bennie grads after a game about the new rules, they said that it was too bad about not being able to run out on the field — “it was just so much fun, everyone so happy together.”)
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From Bill Kauffmann ’87, Plymouth, MN —
Wicks, I enjoyed your overview on the various Lutheran institutions of the MIAC in your Ole edition of the UUN. I am submitting a joke [below] for the editor of the UUN (you, of course) to review for this week's edition when we play our final "Luteren" opponent in the conference this season (unless something wacky happens in the Silver division, i.e. the Auggies upset the Royals in the final week). I am confident if we take care of the ball we will beat the resurgent Gusties. — Billy
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Ole went down to Texas to buy a bull. He had heard so much of everything in Texas is big so he thought it would improve his herd if he had a bigger bull. He talked to the rancher and agreed on a price and drove his pickup and trailer down to get the bull.
When he met with the rancher he was very much impressed with the large amount of cattle he had. So Ole asked the rancher just how big his farm was.
The rancher said, "If I get up in the morning and start driving across the ranch, I’m only half way across by noon."
Ole said, "Yaaahh, I have a pickup just like dat at home."
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The Working Dog —
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him.
The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.”
“Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I can’t believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!”
“No, no,” pleaded the dog. “Please don’t! If that man finds out I can talk, he’ll make me answer the phone as well!”
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Seasoned Blind Date —
"How was your blind date?" a Gustavus student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1995 Porsche 933 Carrera Cabriolet.
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner!"
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Final Word
Making women happy -
Demerit Point System explained
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:
Simple Duties
You make the bed……… +1
You make the bed but forget to add the decorative pillow…. 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets….. -1
You leave the toilet seat up….. -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty…. 0
When the toilet paper roll is bare you resort to Kleenex…. -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom…. -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +5
…in the snow….. +8
…but return with beer…. -5
…and no liners……. -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night…. 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron….. +10
It’s her cat……… -40
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner……. 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar…. +1
Okay, it’s a sports bar….. -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat-night…. -3
It’s a sports, bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team….. -10
The Big Question (a no-win situation)
She asks, “Do I look fat?”
You hesitate in responding…. -10
You reply, “Where?”….. -35
Any other response….. -20
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression…. 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes……. +5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV…. +100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep….. -200
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Once again we bid thee (plural) sweet adieu…sorry for the delay in getting this issue to you — lots of material and details. But you know the drill by now — it’s time to bellow:
GO JOHNNIES ! !
(Goose The Gusties…or something like that.)
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Submitted while hoping for another shut-out.
R.L. Wicker SJP ’60/SJU ’64, St. Paul, MN
651-699-4697; theowick@aol.com
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